Rating: T

Disclosure: Not mine except the OCs

A/N Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favs. Thanks to AlexDN for the photos... so many to chose from LOL

Also a huge thank you to my Beta Reader. Any remaining errors are my fault as I decided to change a few things :D

Halloween Remembrance

Chapter Twelve

Ducky had finally helped his mother into the car and she had headed off to her hair appointment. Afterwards her nurse, Mrs Richardson, was going to take her to an art gallery, for a few hours, so he could continue his discussion with Jethro without interruption. He'd also checked in with the hospital and Abby and found that Anthony had had a restless night, with several nightmares.

He was, not surprisingly, thinking of discharging himself AMA since he hated doctors and hospitals with a passion and Ducky really couldn't blame him, after those revelations. He knew that because of what had happened last night with Marion, Anthony would be looking to crawl off alone somewhere private, to lick his wounds.

Ducky had organised for a locum to fill in for him in Autopsy today, should it become necessary. He also called his young assistant, James Palmer and explained that Anthony had been shot the night before. He asked him to stay with Anthony and try to talk him out of discharging himself from his hospital bed. Abby would need a break and he and Jethro were otherwise occupied, so he trusted James to watch Anthony's back.

The two men were friends and even though James could be incredibly inappropriate with his humour at times, he was actually a very sensitive, caring person. If he couldn't stop Anthony from leaving the hospital, he would at least make sure he got home safely and stay with him, so he didn't hurt himself further. He asked him to pass along the message, that Marion had been told not to bother him and that he was doing his best to fulfil the other promise too and that he would see him, later on today.

Finally with other matters taken care of, he began brewing a fresh pot of coffee and making himself another pot of tea. He decided that he needed something a little stronger and more bracing, so he opted for one of his favourites, Twinning's wonderful Russian Caravan tea. Some people believed that the kick in the tea was due to minute quantities of saltpetre but he doubted that this was the case, at least anymore. For all his amassing of a huge amount of disparate information, this particular wife's tale had always fascinating him and he resolved once more, to research its origins.

He also made up a fruit plate of various sliced fruits because Jethro's diet was abysmal and he knew that he was more likely to eat some fruit, if it was already cut up into convenient pieces, especially if he was distracted. As a doctor, he couldn't help but wonder, given Gibbs diet, if some of his bad temper might not be explained away by chronic constipation. When the tea had steeped long enough and the coffee was finished brewing and looked like sludge, he placed cosies on the tea pot and the coffee pot and added both to the tea tray.

Surprisingly, Gibbs was already waiting for him in the sitting room, standing staring out the bay windows, lost in thought. He turned as Ducky set the tea tray down on the table and moved in to help himself to a mug of coffee. He sniffed the foul brew, before smiling in appreciation. It was perfectly prepared and he immediately took a sip of the scalding liquid. Meanwhile, Ducky was fussing around with his fine boned china teacup, pouring an unusual but pungent brew into his cup.

Gibbs obviously decided to fire the opening salvo while Ducky was still getting organised. "Thought a lot bout what you said, Duck... the chain of command stuff. Have to say ya shocked me! And it's not that I don't trust ya or believe what ya said but it's pretty huge. The insubordination and all! So I am gonna be doing some investigating, ask some questions bout when I was gone."

He glanced at his friend to see his response, pleased to see he was nodding earnestly. Actually Ducky was pleasantly surprised that Gibbs had actually listened and been ready to consider the possibility, that his leadership methods may have had such terrible consequences. Frankly, given that Gibbs was a Marine for so long, he had always marvelled that he could be so blind, about what he was doing.

"Of course Jethro, you are an investigator. I am not offended that you want to confirm the verisimilitude of my revelations. I am nevertheless confident, that your enquiries will bear out what I'm saying. May I suggest you also talk to my assistant as well, but please be gentle with him? I'm afraid the situation with young Michelle, has been a great shock to the poor lad. I might also suggest that you speak to the janitorial and security staff as well. People tend to treat them as invisible and they frequently see more that people give them credit for. I would suggest some pizza and beer might be an excellent way of breaking down the barriers."

Gibbs nodded his assent and they both took a moment to sip from their respective beverages, while Ducky planned the next few moves. So far, he couldn't have hoped for a more promising opening, to round two. Of course, it didn't make it any easier to say what he needed to say, though.

"Jethro, I know that you were feeling hurt and rejected last night, when Anthony pushed you away, when you wanted to help him. But it isn't about what you want or need. He is hurting right now and I don't mean from getting shot either. He has been in great emotional pain, for far too long now and you have been oblivious to it. In fact, you have contributed to some it, my friend. So it makes sense that he is not eager to come to you, especially given what he thinks, you think of him."

"And what's that Duck?" Gibbs asked cautiously.

"Well my friend, he thinks that you no longer trust him to watch your six or the team. He thinks that you see him as being weak and especially after finding out about his secret last night; that you pity him and see him as a victim. Apparently, both of us need to work on our poker faces, Jethro. The minute we came back from our little tête-à-tête with Marion last night, he knew that something was wrong."

"He said, I looked old and sad and I have to admit that was exactly how I felt, too. He said you were very angry but trying to be nice and that you were feeling pity for him. He thought that Leon was planning on firing him. As you heard last night, he feels that he screwed up the robbery situation."

Goddammit Duck, why would he think that?"

"Well Jethro, he failed to deliver a kill shot to the second assailant, he failed to disarm him and wasn't able to secure the crime scene and he lost consciousness before he made sure that everyone was unharmed. Plus he failed to observe protocol and went in without back-up."

"He was shot, damn it and bleeding out. That stupid rule of his father's about passing out; its crap! He saved those people's lives, at the risk of his own. Why can't he see that, Duck? How can he think he screwed up?"

"Yes well Jethro, I am afraid that some of blame lies with Anthony's father, for never being satisfied with anything that the lad achieved or telling him that he was proud of him. Given what we now know of the cur, it's not surprising though is it? But some of the blame can also be laid upon your shoulders too, I'm afraid. In your never ending quest to push him to be the best agent that he can be, you fail to acknowledge to him, that you are proud of who he is already. Or that he is already good enough, for that matter. As hard as you are on him, and you are brutal; he is even more so on himself and doesn't need any additional encouragement from someone else, especially you."

"It isn't the first time that he has shown outstanding heroism, courage and grace under fire. Nor is the first time he has risked his life to save others and triumphed against odds that most men would simply not be able to survive. The day that he saved our poor dear Caitlyn and Timothy from the car bomb, left by Ari that was meant to kill your team, is a prime example. He was weak and still recovering from pneumonia, so it was an amazingly breathtaking achievement. No pun intended! I still can't believe he survived either event, if it comes down to it. He saved both their lives that day and was willing to give up his own life to do so. Yet neither one of them ever actually thanked him, nor did you."

"You Jethro were too consumed by your hatred of Ari; so perhaps one could excuse it, if it wasn't part of a pattern. His teammates though, teased him later on when he was told to rest and had to be in quite a deal of discomfort, when they should have been getting down on their knees and thanking him. Caitlyn even tipped a bottle of water over his head, which considering his bout of pneumonia was very foolhardy, apart from lacking in gratitude. At least when he saved Abigail after Caitlyn was shot; she expressed her thanks for him protecting her, with his body. Not just with her words but her hands too I understand," Ducky chuckled.

"And then just last year, I recall a situation where Anthony managed to shoot and kill two assailants that were trying to kill him and two other individuals, while he was running full tilt towards them. He then plunged into an icy cold, dirty river, to save two people who were trapped in a submerged car, filling up with water. He had to break into the car underwater, which is an extraordinarily difficult physical feat, with his bare hands and would have required great determination, strength and desperation."

He then had to retrieve both victims and haul them to the surface because they were unconscious, quite possibly even expired. One of those individual was even trapped, around the legs by the steering wheel column and Anthony freed him, again no mean feat. I believe Anthony would be making a quip right now about David Banner." He saw the confusion on Gibbs' face, so he elaborated.

"The Incredible Hulk, dear boy." Seeing that Jethro was still looking clueless, Ducky sighed before continuing, "And then, if that wasn't enough, he had to successfully resuscitate both persons who had stopped breathing, because he was all alone. He managed to perform that heroically amazing feat, while still having much less lung capacity that the average field agent, due to his excessively scarred lungs from the plague.

"I doubt even you could have pulled that off Jethro. He saved your life and that of Maddie Tyler, who you had so foolishly placed in mortal danger, by being so pigheaded and determined to go it alone. You never even thanked him or told what a great job he did. He dived into that river, knowing that he was at risk of developing a second bout of pneumonia that would probably have killed him but he didn't hesitate, for a second to risk his life for you and that girl. You hand out Caff-Pows, kisses and great jobs to Abigail like they are candy and are generous with the 'good jobs' with McGee and hugs with Ziva. Yet you cannot thank Anthony for making sure that Maddie didn't end up in the ground somewhere, when by rights, that's where she should be along with you."

"You dare to ask how he can think he screwed up the takedown so badly, when he saved an almost dead Marine from a serial killer. Even though, he was still seriously under the influences of a combination of drugs at the time. He managed to free Gunnery Sergeant Bill Atlas and singlehandedly haul his ass out of their prison. Then, when the killer finally caught up with them down in the sewer tunnels, he placed his own body in the line of fire to save him, from a bullet! He managed to deflect the murderer and disarmed her and he still feels that he screwed up the mission, because he was drugged."

Gibbs, who had stayed silent throughout Ducky's impassioned monologue, spoke up, at this point." I told him he was irreplaceable Duck."

"Yes you did Jethro. According to Caitlyn, you only said something because Anthony in his distressed state, practically begged you to. And then when he was on a high, from the unaccustomed assurance that you would miss him, if something had happened, you couldn't let him have his moment. You jabbed him in the gut with the cruel taunt about McGee, his desk and Timothy not getting it because Anthony was still alive, after all."

"One of his greatest fears; is that he will die all alone and that no one will mourn him, which is of course a common universal fear. In Anthony's case given his background, it has become a very tangible fear for him. You must know that he has always felt like his father replaced him and his mother with his common floozies and new trophy wives. Could you have come up with a more cruel way to negate the comment that he was irreplaceable?"

"Hey Duck, it was just a joke."

"It isn't a joke if it isn't funny Jethro. Jokes don't wound people. And even if he knew it was a joke, which I seriously doubt, how was he to know that you weren't joking about him being irreplaceable too? Caitlyn said that for a second or two, before his mask went back up again, Anthony looked like you had shot his puppy.

So are you really surprised that Anthony views last night as a balls up? And the only person I heard telling him what an upstanding job he did in foiling that robbery, was a perfect stranger to him. A cop no less. His director and his team leader never told him they were proud of him for saving four people. Vance didn't even ask him if he was okay."

Ducky stood up, sighing sadly. "I have to call the hospital and find out if they have managed to hold onto Anthony or if he has signed himself out. I'll put some soup on for lunch too; won't be long!" He hoped in his absence, that Gibbs would think about what they had discussed and take some of it on board. He decided to heat up some of his spicy red lentil soup; so full of fibre and good for bowel health. He thought some hearty rye bread might be the perfect accompaniment. He also wondered if he still had some of that delicious gluten free beer, left in the fridge.

Ducky returned to the sitting room to find Gibbs pacing up and down. "I've contacted the hospital and spoken to Mr Palmer. Anthony is making noises about signing himself out but they are watching a DVD at the moment." Duck noticed that Gibbs was still pacing.

"Jethro, I have put some soup on but it needs to finish cooking. While it does, we could go for a short walk with Mother's dogs and stretch our legs." He saw Gibbs grimace. "Don't worry, Jethro. I'll protect you from Contessa and Monarch. Your virtue will be safe... at least while you are with me."

They let the dogs out of the house and they all took off across the property and down onto a nature reserve, where Ducky obviously exercised them frequently. As they walked, Ducky watched Gibbs for a while and could see the agent begin to relax.

"Why Jethro?" he asked gently.

"Why what Duck?"

"Why do you feel the need to wound Anthony with such cruel barbs, Jethro? It wasn't just when he saved that Marine. You do it frequently. You let the others goad him too. Anthony is a prankster to be sure, but he never does anything to be deliberately cruel. If he hurts someone's feelings, it is because he grew up in a dysfunctional home if you could call it that, and learnt most of his social skills at boarding school, military academy and a college fraternity.

None of which, are particularly healthy places to learn about interpersonal relationships, unless you consider physical hazing to be appropriate or normal. He doesn't mean to hurt anyone, especially his friends. Unlike his team mates or yourself, who seem to take delight in drawing blood when it comes to Anthony. Even Caitlyn felt that you could be unnecessarily cruel and she wasn't exactly innocent, in that regard, either."

"Frankly, I could never understand, what possessed you to condone that team dinner which Ziva organised, when she first joined the team and deliberately excluded Anthony from it. She even invited Abigail and James who are not even official members of the MCRT. And as if that wasn't bad enough, then all of you, even you Gibbs, revelled in rubbing his nose in the fact that he was the only one not invited. Why? I could never reconcile how you, of all people could be that cruel to the boy, who has had so much adversity in his life and never had a proper family or a real place to call home?"

Jethro opened his mouth but Ducky cut him off.

"On second thoughts Gibbs, don't say anything. There isn't really anything that you could say, that would justify your behaviour or any of the team. If you are going to rationalise that it was a bit of fun, then at the risk of repeating myself; don't! It isn't funny, when it hurts someone and all of you hurt him very badly. But, I think the fact that you of all people; took part in the taunting and even endorsed it, really ripped his heart to shreds."

"He is good at pretending that he doesn't hurt but it is just a very good act. After all, he has grown up with Senior, who has beaten him with his fists as well as his tongue, telling him he is a screw up and will amount to nothing. Any wonder he is insecure and constantly seek reassurance and approval. He might act like he is overconfident and cocky but as we both know; he is an excellent undercover operative. I think that you forget, that even when he is at NCIS, he is undercover. He really believes that he can never measure up to your expectations, Jethro. One day, he is going to stop trying, just as he did with his father."

Ducky whistled his mother's corgis and they all wheeled like a well trained pack and headed back home while Ducky followed, leaving a chastened Gibbs, to bring up the rear.

Next chapter: Magazines, seminars and mentoring plus some advice from Black Lung.