AN: Yo yo giggity yo! I have returned with another fic. It's a one sided Bilbo/Thorin fic, cue the awkwardness, and it is rated T. The song is Once Upon A December (yes the one in Anastasia) but I listen to the Sarah Morgann version. Hauntingly beautiful, I swear.
OOOOO
Bilbo enjoyed Beorn's home. He enjoyed Beorn as well. The gentle giant was much better in conversation than the Dwarves were. Bilbo hadn't felt more at home since they'd left Bag End. Even their stay in Rivendell wasn't quite as comforting as their stay with Beorn was. His home was so warm and friendly and he served some excellent honey. Bilbo briefly wondered about staying here with him instead of leaving, but he wouldn't abandon the Dwarves. Not when they were so close. Well, according to Thorin, they were so close.
They still had to cross Mirkwood, the lake, and the desolation of Smaug before they reached the Lonely Mountain. And then they had to find the secret door and deal with the Dragon. Bilbo was quite sure if the rest of journey didn't kill him, then the Dragon would. But he had faced death many times now, and it didn't scare him as much as it used to. That wasn't to say that it didn't scare him at all, it definitely did! Any sane creature should be afraid of death. Although, he was beginning to wonder about Thorin Oakenshield.
The way the King had charged the Pale Orc frightened Bilbo. Oh yes, it was all very majestic and brave and for his family and all. But it was also extremely stupid of him! Azog was twice Thorin's size, and riding a giant warg! What did the King really think was going to happen? Azog was going to see him running and cower? Sometimes Bilbo really wanted to go back in time and drag Thorin back to their tree by the ear and make him wait for the eagles instead of charging headfirst towards his would be executioner.
Bilbo snorted a little, thinking about it. Him, dragging Thorin by the ear. Now that would be a sight. One he would give his whole portion of the treasure to see. Eventually someone needed to teach Thorin a lesson about his behavior. Maybe it would be Balin. Or Thorin's sister, Dis. The way Fili and Kili described her, Bilbo was quite sure she could put the fear of death into Thorin's heart. The way they described her, she already had, several times. You didn't mess with Lady Dis, all the Dwarves agreed about that.
Bilbo's mirth faded and he simply sat. He enjoyed the warm sun on his face. He was a child of Yavanna, and nature was where he belonged. The garden that surrounded him brought him memories of his father, and the bright flowers Beorn had braided into his hair reminded him of his mother. She used to do that sometimes as well. When Belladonna, Bungo, and Bilbo would sit in the garden together. Before the Fell Winter, and the death of his father. It was a peaceful, beautiful time that he often missed.
Bilbo started humming idly as he sat. It was an old lullaby his mother would sing to him, when they sat in the garden or when he would have trouble sleeping. It always brought him comfort, and he had found himself humming it in intervals during the journey. None of the Dwarves ever asked about it, or even commented on his humming, so he just assumed they didn't mind. He wondered if they would mind if he was actually singing. He didn't have Belladonna's voice, no he took mostly after Bungo. But his mother never minded that. After Bungo died he would sing the lullaby to her more often than she would sing it to him. When she was on her deathbed, she asked Bilbo to sing to her a lot. It brought her comfort as well.
With a shuddering sigh Bilbo looked around himself, just to make sure he was alone. He didn't want to sing if the Dwarves were around. He didn't want them to mock him for taking comfort in a child's lullaby. They often made fun of him when he showed weakness, but that was just the Dwarven way. It was supposed to discourage children from growing up soft, the mocking. But Bilbo was already grown up. And he was about as soft as they came. Once he was confident he was alone, Bilbo cleared his throat and hummed the tune a little more before starting to sing.
"Dancing bears, painted wings; things I almost remember.
And a song someone sings, once upon a December.
Someone holds me safe and warm. Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory."
Bilbo hummed for the length of another verse before singing again.
"Someone holds me safe and warm. Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory.
Far away, long ago, glowing dim as an ember.
Things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember.
And a song someone sings,
Once upon a December."
Silence reclaimed the surrounding garden as Bilbo sat with his eyes softly closed. He was awash with contentment, the memory of his mother and father and his home making him feel warm, even with the cool breeze. He didn't need to be in Bag End to be home. As long as he had his memories and his lullaby, he was perfectly happy being hundreds of miles from the Shire, in the garden of a shape shifting bear.
"That was lovely Master Baggins." Bilbo jumped and frantically looked over his shoulder. The previously empty grass beneath a big shade tree was now occupied by none other than Thorin Oakenshield. His head was leaned back against the trunk of the tree, and there was a faint smile on his lips. Bilbo blushed a very deep red.
"I didn't know you were there. I thought I was alone." Bilbo turned his embarrassed face away from the King, cursing himself.
"I am glad you didn't see me then. I would have hated to miss hearing your beautiful song." Thorin told him, and he sounded genuine enough. Bilbo didn't trust him though. Not after all the cold words he had received from the Dwarf up to this point. The hug atop the Carrock had been wonderful, really it had been. And the apology was nice as well. But Bilbo still felt like the outcast, still felt a fierce separation between him and the company. "You seem troubled Master Baggins." Bilbo jumped again. For a Dwarf, Thorin could be awfully quiet when he wanted to be. He was suddenly right behind Bilbo, whispering in his ear, and Bilbo was very uncomfortable.
"I did not think you would enjoy such idle singing." Bilbo said tensely. Thorin's hand ghosted up his back, just barely touching him, and rested at the nape of his neck.
"We have quite a few songs of our own. And I know the company has been quite content listening to your humming thus far. If you sang that in front of them, you may never be permitted to stop. As it is, I may keep you in a cage when we get to Erebor. You can be my personal songbird." Was Thorin trying to make a joke? The King had a strange sense of humor, Bilbo had heard it on occasion when he was talking to Dwalin or his nephews. But it had never been directed at him. He wiped his slightly sweaty palms on his trousers and cleared his throat.
"As tempting as that sounds, I do not sing often, or very well. And usually only Hobbit bar drawls." Bilbo shifted uncomfortably, Thorin's hand on his neck feeling very heavy.
"I'm sure we could teach you a few Dwarven ballads, Master Baggins." Thorin slid his hand up again, twining his fingers into Bilbo's hair. "Tell me, what does your song mean? It was enchanting, but I'm afraid quite perplexing to me." He asked as he toyed with Bilbo's curls. The Hobbit restrained a shudder and tried to shrug. "Oh come, it must mean something."
"I-It's just a lullaby my mother used to sing me, before she died. It was for comfort or for peace." Bilbo explained awkwardly.
"It is a very comforting tune, Master Baggins. Haunting in a way, but peaceful all the same." Thorin acknowledged. The King hummed thoughtfully before releasing Bilbo's locks and sitting back. "I would very much like to hear it again. Perhaps tonight you could come to my chambers and sing it to me. It is a lullaby after all." Thorin supposed, nudging his knee into the small of Bilbo's back. He enjoyed the little reactions he got from Bilbo when he touched the Hobbit.
"I-I suppose." Thorin smiled again at the little stutter.
"I look forward to it. Bilbo."