Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not mine and they belong to Shonda Rhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy
A/N - Dotted lines indicates character perspective change
A/N -Co written with Providence26
Chapter Twelve
I had been sitting with Meredith for several minutes in silence, I didn't know where to begin, and she didn't seem to know whether to prompt me or not. We had gotten closer over the past few months, she has been a great sounding board for me, she understands what I have been through but won't let me get away with hiding or lying to myself. Her support has been invaluable, coupled with my therapy I feel
like I am getting my footing back. I am coming to terms with never being the Arizona Robbins I once was, but I am certain that I can become an Arizona Robbins worth being proud of.
"She emailed me."
"Callie did?"
"Yeah."
"That's good, right? Isn't it?"
Hesitating, "I think so. I really hurt her. She said her heart is shattered." My voice caught on the last word but I managed to get it out.
"Is that all she said?"
I recounted the contents of the email to Meredith, it took me several minutes as I broke down in tears at a couple of points. I hate crying in front of people, but Meredith has seen me at my worst, I know I can just be honest with her.
"What should I do? I want her back so much. But all I do is hurt her. Time after time I break her down. Perhaps it would be fairer, better for her, if I just let her go. She could find someone better, someone who will take better care of her than I have done."
I look at Meredith, hoping to see an answer in her eyes, a direction I should go in, but all I see is empathy and support.
"I can't tell you what you should do, if you want her, if you still love her, if you can promise her your future and that you have learned from your mistakes, then fight, fight for her. She deserves that much. Out of everybody I know, Callie is the one who deserves to have someone fight against all the odds to be with her."
I nod, taking her words in. "You're right."
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A week went by before I heard from Arizona after I sent my email, I heard my phone beep indicating an incoming email, it was from Arizona. I wasn't sure what to do as I sat there in the living room with a glass of wine. Sofia was in bed asleep, Cristina was working. I was scared and excited at the same time as I opened it and started to read it.
Callie,
I cannot even express the feeling I had when you called me last week. I am sorry it has taken me this long to respond to you. I needed to make sure in my mind and heart what I want to do. After talking with the therapist, and Meredith and Derek for some extra guidance, I would really like to make a go of our marriage too. I know there will be a lot of work for us to do, but I am more than willing to do whatever it will take.
With their help, I am coming to terms with everything that has happened with the crash and learning to accept myself as an amputee now. I am scared that you can't fully accept me as an amputee. I am trying to work through this with help. But I need your help too. There is no excuse for me to offer you for anything pertaining to my behavior or breaking my vows. I am deeply ashamed for the way I have treated you, Calliope, and with the way I have treated my daughter.
I know you said that you know everything that has happened and that is good, I am glad you finally know everything. However, I would like to tell you from my perspective another time, in person, how I felt through all that. Then, maybe, we can heal and mourn together, all of our losses, I know I didn't give you a chance to mourn Mark, and in truth, I haven't either. Maybe then, we will be able to move forward to the next step in our lives.
Please call me after you have read this.
Your Arizona
I waited until the following day to call Arizona, I needed a little extra time to make sure that if I do want this that I can fully forgive her, I know I already told her I would try, I have been second guessing myself. I was supposed to be at lunch instead of standing through another surgery. Cristina was in on this surgery today as well, since they used the paddles on him twice. We found out he was on his way to work when he was t-boned by a drunk driver, when the impact occurred it propelled the car sideways then forwards, which is when another car hit him head on, causing the dash board to sit in the man's lap. His femur was snapped in half when it shattered, he had severe chest injuries, he had coded once on the table when Yang brought him back. I looked up at Cris when I said to her, "Dr Yang, his left leg needs to be amputated, there is no saving it."
Cris nodded back then said, "Are you okay, Dr Torres?"
"Yes, I just want to finish this and go home."
"Wait for me Torres, I get off then too, I will order us some dinner tonight."
We finished the surgery and I waited around for the patient to come around to talk to him, I needed to let him know what happened and that I would be back in the morning to go over things again. After changing and getting Sofia from daycare we met Cristina in lobby to head home.