Chapter 12 - Futures
Harry was confused. After a very fun evening which he had spent mainly climbing all over the loud boy with the fun hair and watching as the wiry boy with the wispy hair laughed at the two of them playing on the floor of the dormitory, everyone suddenly seemed very different when he woke up in the bright light of the morning. The familiar boy cuddled up next to him in the large four-poster bed looked positively alien without his usual grin splitting his face in half when he got him dressed in the morning, and couldn't even raise a smile at Harry's attempts to cheer him up by batting him on top of his messy hair with his half empty bottle. The other boys were the same - only the loud one managed a half-hearted grin at him as he was carried out of the dormitory and down the steep stairs.
No, even the beautiful, amazingly familiar red-headed girl was looking sadly at him as they arrived in the common room. She took him and hugged him close, pressing her head down into the top of his to shade both of their eyes from the sun pouring in the windows. He looked up at her curiously, and raised a chubby first to pat her cheek gently. Finally. A smile at last.
The strange trio sat quietly on the chairs in the empty headmaster's office, waiting for Dumbledore to return from his meeting with the potions master. James, slumped back in his chair with his hands clasped tightly in front of him, looked nervously over at Lily and Harry who occupied the other chair. Lily held the baby more confidently now, one hand keeping tightly hold of him while the other casually held the toy snake that Harry was chewing on.
The night before had been excruciating - on return to the tower they had found Harry and Peter asleep, and had quickly rounded up Remus, Sirius and Alice to quietly explain the situation (or, at least, what little they understood of it all) gathered around the dying fire in the common room. Reactions had been varied to say the least, from Alice's tears to Sirius' fiery indignation at Dumbledore's suggestions, until Lily had turned at last to Remus, who was paler and more wan looking than ever in the darkening room.
"Remus?" He looked up at her and smiled sadly. "This involves you too you know. I mean, we have no idea what's going to happen to us when-if he goes back. We might not even remember anything." Lily's voice faltered as she fought to keep it steady, trying to keep her thoughts from straying too far into a place where she would not be able to keep control any more. A light pressure on her hand made her jump, and she looked over to see James sitting beside her on the sofa, nodding at her words to Remus, who was holding up his hand from the arm of the chair, observing how much it was trembling.
"You know what should be done" he had sighed, lowering his shaking fingers to the armrest. "That doesn't mean it's going to be easy, and I don't think any of us are looking forward to what on earth we're supposed to do after this, but in the end that doesn't really change anything. We all know what should be done."
James swallowed, and looked over to Sirius and Alice who were deep in conversation, noticing that for once Sirius seemed to be keeping an almost respectful distance as they sat on the rug. He snorted quietly, and made a mental note to remember the moment - before it hit him that it was entirely possible that he wasn't going to remember any of this. Not the gorgeous, laughing boy who grinned up at him every time he saw him, or Sirius' face as it lit up more than he had ever seen as he played with the mischievous baby. Most of all though, he thought, Lily. The very fact she wasn't attempting to punch him in the face as he gently stroked her hand was incredible, and he was supposed to give that up? Go back to having her reject him every single day, all for the greater good of a future they would likely not even be a part of? How could anyone expect that of him?
Lily had stood up and tugged the sleeve of his school shirt, urging him up towards the boy's dormitories to check if Harry was okay. They walked silently up the stairs, both lost in their thoughts, and made their way towards the crib where Harry lay sleeping silently, his tiny chest barely disturbing his red blanket, and his shock of black hair as messy as it had ever been. Lily stroked his cheek gently with the back of a finger, and turned towards James, her eyes full of tears that threatened to spill over on to her perfect cheeks.
"You know we have to, don't you?" She whispered, moving her hand out of the crib and taking the tall boy's in hers. She placed her forehead lightly against his chest for a moment as she continued to speak, her hair fanning out brilliantly in the moonlight. "We have to. Or- or he won't be the same. He won't grow up the way he's supposed to, and he won't do the amazing things Dumbledore said he would." She spoke quietly, but with a steadiness in her voice. James looked down at her, so close to him and at her shining eyes staring back up at him, pleading for him to agree. He swallowed the lump in his throat - and nodded once.
"I know. I just…" he trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence, and not wanting to betray his shaky voice. They stood for a few moments more in the half-dark of the candlelit room before breaking apart suddenly.
James jumped slightly as the headmaster apparated in front of them, behind the desk. He held an odd assortment of objects in his hands, amongst them something that looked like a very old pillow covered in strange, shimmering embroidery. He placed the objects on the desk and stepped out from behind it.
"I am terribly sorry to keep the three of you waiting." he looked it as well, Lily realised. The headmaster looked at the three of them with genuine apology, and she knew it wasn't for being late.
"Am I to assume that you have decided to send Harry back to where he belongs?" Dumbledore asked them quietly, receiving a quick nod from both of them. He smiled sadly, looking at the slightly bemused looking child perched on Lily's knee. He picked up one of the instruments and whispered a quick instruction into it, looking completely unsurprised when his office door swung open a few moments later and Sirius strode through, with Remus and Alice following closely behind, having been automatically transported across the school. They stood solemnly, not needing to ask why they had been so suddenly snatched from the common room.
"You three are the only other people who have interacted closely with Harry? Grown close to him, as it were?" The professor looked over his glasses at them as he spoke. It was Sirius who answered, his voice less flippant than usual.
"Yeah Professor. Peter's been too busy really, so babysitting duties got lumped with us" he grinned slightly, glancing over at his best friend who sat pale in his chair.
Professor Dumbledore nodded, and picked up the old cushion he had been carrying on his arrival, indicating to the new comers that they should join Lily and James at the seats crowded around the front of the desk.
"Well then. We should begin." he sighed, gazing down at the cushion. He handed it to Lily, indicating that she should sit Harry on it, which he happily did, still confused at the lack of humour in the room.
As the headmaster began to mutter quietly, Harry turned to look at the people surrounding him. They all stared at him intensely, but not in an unsettling way. He felt a hand gripping his back tightly, and twisted around to see James holding him tight, now crouched on the floor beside Lily, who wrapped her arms around him securely and held him close on the frayed cushion.
The muttering grew faster and faster, beginning to unsettle Harry a little. He stared up into the eyes that mirrored his own so well, seeing tears beginning to form in their depths as the headmaster placed his wand gently to the back of his small head, muttering now so fast that nobody could possibly understand what he was saying.
Lily locked eyes with the baby on her knee, seeing a fear growing in his eyes that tugged at her heart in a way she had not known was physically possible, suddenly wanting to do anything possible as long as it meant never seeing that look in his eyes ever again. As Professor Dumbledore placed the tip of his wand to Harry's head, she held back her tears, not wanting to frighten him any more.
The room began to spin, and Lily felt herself growing dizzier as the darkness from the window seemed to spread throughout the room, plunging them all slowly into the dimness of the dusky sky outside. Fighting to stay upright as she felt James faint heavily beside her on the floor, she managed to whisper quietly, all the while staring into the beautifully familar, forgiving green eyes, before slipping into a deep unconsciousness.
'Harry…'
Hello, this chapter has been a looooong time coming, I know that, so thank you all so much for sticking around and putting up with my hectic schedule. Of course i'm not just leaving it here, I know you would all kill me, so there will be one more chapter - soon, if I can help it. But I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. If there's anything you particularly liked or disliked, feel free to drop me a review :) I love reading them. Epilogue will be posted as soon as I can! Love you all, you all have the patience of saints 3