Author's Notes: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of these characters, and I make no money off this whatsoever.

I know Kenlos isn't a pairing a lot of people can get behind, and I admit it took me a while to see it myself, but once I did there was no going back. This is a sequel to Because I Wanted the Best, which was the story of James and Logan meeting and falling in love. Now we have Kendall and Carlos, because as I wrote that story, Kendall kept whispering to me that he was lonely. He wanted Carlos. I tend to stay away from Carlos, but in this case I gave in because...well, because it's Kendall and I can't say no to him. I explained to him it would be a challenge to make Carlos fall for him, but he said he lives for a challenge. Yeah, I don't know. So here we go.

Dedicating this to my two awesome betas, kathrynew30 and Aranelle. They're both happy to see Kendall going after what he wants, and happy to see more of Carlos for once. And this is still fun to write, because it's lighter than what I normally do and makes me laugh. I hope you like it, too! Thanks for giving it a try.

In case I haven't said it enough, thank you for reading this and for letting me know you love it. Reviews truly do spur me on and make me want to write more, and as a lot of you know they also give me ideas when we discuss the story with each other. I love the conversations I have with you guys and getting to know you and what you like (and don't like) about the story. It helps more than you know. I love you guys. :)

My phone was dead for most of the day, so I wrote instead of being distracted by Twitter and texts. It resulted in this super long chapter (long for me, anyway). Those of you who keep asking what the hell is wrong with Carlos and what is he thinking and why is he so blind...here you go. We finally get the answers. There are still some questions Kendall has that won't be answered until the next chapter, but here's a lot of it. This chapter is seriously dialogue-heavy, but much of it is phone calls so hopefully it's bearable. And not too confusing.

And I feel horrible because I'm falling behind on replying to reviews. I plan to spend the weekend doing that in the evenings (except for that awesome half hour tomorrow when I will watch the new BTR and cry my eyes out as they take us back through memories of past episodes). Next update will probably happen on Monday. 11/21/11 woooooo!

Also, I have only flown a couple of times so I'm not sure if I'm right about this, but I do remember there being a phone attached to the seat in front of me that I could use with my credit card. I tried to Google it and found nothing. Bowman0306 concurs with me that she thinks there is such a thing also, so we're going with that, and that is what Kendall is using to call Katie from the plane. I am so unskilled at travel.

And I must have the longest author's notes in the history of author's notes. Why am I such a rambling fool?

They met for lunch the next day, Logan concerned for Kendall. He knew Kendall had decided to move on but also knew how hard it would be, and wished hockey season would hurry up and start already so Kendall had something to take his mind off Carlos.

He was running late, though, and Kendall was beginning to wish he'd never agreed to meet Logan here. Of course he got stuck with Karen as a waitress, and it was ten minutes before he remembered his poor tip the last time he'd been here, which explained her frosty attitude. He kept asking for a refill on his drink and being put off, and finally the fourth time she walked by he stood up and blocked her path.

"Can we talk?"

She glanced up at him. "I'm busy, it's the lunch rush."

"I know. I wanted to apologize. Please, give me a second."

"There's no apology necessary, sir. I'll be back with your refill in a moment."

"Karen, please. I was having the most important talk of my life and you kept interrupting at the worst times. I'm sorry. I was frustrated with myself and took it out on you."

One eyebrow raised, she asked, "Where is the little cutie?"

"Back home in Minnesota."

"Is that why you look like someone kicked your puppy?"

Kendall frowned, sadness welling in his chest, and took his seat. "Is it that obvious?"

"Oh, sweetie." Karen slid into the booth across from him and patted his hand. "When do you two get to see each other again?"

"About a month. He's moving out here."

"That's wonderful!" she smiled. "I bet you guys can't wait."

"We're not together. He's just a friend." Saying it hurt, his heart still raw.

"Since when? That guy only had eyes for you."

"Are you forgetting he asked you out?"

Karen waved a hand. "Oh please, he is so in love with you. Why do you think I turned him down?"

"Because you had plans."

"I had no plans. I knew you had your sights set on him."

"But you asked about Logan! Called him my boyfriend!"

"I thought he was. If he had been, I would've been all over your cute little friend. But I could tell you were into him. And he's totally into you, too."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? If he was, he wouldn't be asking girls out in front of me!"

"Unless he's trying to make you jealous. Feel you out. Ack, I gotta go, orders are piling up. I'll bring your drink back."

Kendall barely heard her over the roaring in his ears.

Unless he's trying to make you jealous. Feel you out.

Carlos Fucking Garcia. Would you stoop to that, put me through hell instead of just telling me you're falling for me? Would you really?

"Hey buddy, your phone's ringing."

Kendall looked up as a glass was set down in front of him. "What? Oh. Thanks." Katie. Oh shit. "Hey."

"What did you do to Carlos?"

"What? Nothing, why?"

"I send him to you for four days and you send him back like this? I demand a refund."

"Like what? What's wrong with him?"

"He's a zombie, dude. He's miserable. Did you tell him how you feel?"

"No, I...I mean kind of but...Katie, shit, he's really that upset?"

"He wasn't so bad this morning; he was a little down but I figured he just missed you guys and it would pass. I even tried to cheer him up by bringing him corn dogs for lunch but he seemed worse after that, wouldn't even eat one. What the hell did you do to Carlos that he can't even eat corn dogs, bro?"

Logan slid into the booth across from Kendall, eyes questioning him. Before Kendall could answer, the stupid lollipop song went off. Kendall motioned for him to answer. "That little fucker. Karen was right! She has to be!"

"Seriously, what happened? I'm worried about him."

"Oh, let him suffer a little, he deserves it." Remembering the sadness in Carlos' eyes last night, though, he knew he didn't really mean it. Carlos in pain sliced Kendall in half, especially knowing he'd caused it. "A lot happened, sis. A lot. Where is he now?"

"In his office, but every time I peek in he's like...lost. I don't know what to do for him. Fix him, Kendall!"

Logan hung up and gestured toward Kendall's phone.

"Katie," he answered. "Hang on, dude." He was vaguely aware of Karen approaching, of Logan ordering for both of them. "He talks to you, right? Opens up to you about stuff?"

"Sort of," Katie replied. "I guess me more than anyone else."

"Listen, he's probably going through a lot of shit right now, about to go crazy with it. He needs a friend. Can you be that for him? Get him away for a while to talk?"

"Of course I'm a friend to him. I can try, but I don't know if he'll talk to me."

"Well, he sure as hell won't talk to me or Logan, so it's up to you. Get him talking, get him to spill. And then call me and tell me everything he says."

"Kendall!" Katie gasped. "I will not! He trusts me, I'm not gonna go spilling everything he says."

"Do ya want me to fix him or not?"

Silence.

"I can't help him if I don't know what's wrong, and he won't come clean to me. Has he ever hinted that he has any sort of feelings for me?"

"No, not like that. Mostly just that he misses you and how much it hurt when you moved. He felt like you abandoned him."

"Oh god." Kendall's heart cracked. "He said that?"

"Not exactly, but he didn't have to. He's been miserable without you. I wouldn't be surprised if he does have feelings for you."

"Please, Katie. I think he might, and he won't admit anything to me. I need you to do this. If I know for sure he does, I can fix it. Please. I'm dying without him." There was suddenly a plate of food in front of Kendall. He grabbed a handful of fries and shoved them in, wincing at the burn. "Shut up," he commanded Logan, who only shook his head fondly.

"Fine. But you'd better fix him. I can't deal with sad Carlos. It's like watching a sad clown, only not as disturbing."

Kendall let out a long breath, eyes closing in his relief. "Thank you. You're helping both of us. I hope I'm right. I'd better be, or I'll kill him. I might kill him anyway, for being such a little shit."

"He's coming," Katie whispered, then raised her voice. "Really, Kendall? That's awesome! Let me ask. Hey Carlos, what color swirly slide do you want?"

Kendall snickered, feeling lighter than he had since the ice rink. His smile died when that magical voice filled his ear.

"Hey you."

Heart hammering, Kendall said, "Hey."

"Where are you?"

"Denny's. Karen misses you."

"Karen," Carlos chuckled. "Are you alone?"

"No, Logan's here."

"Of course."

"Hi Carlos!" Logan yelled.

"Tell him hi."

"Are you okay, Carlos? You sound down." It almost brought Kendall to tears again, hearing his angel in pain.

"Yeah, just...miss you. A lot."

"Carlos, fuck," Kendall whispered. "Say the word and I'm there."

There was a moment in which Kendall could almost feel the need through the phone, but all Carlos said was, "Soon. A few more weeks."

Damn you, just say it. Say the words. "Carlos misses Kendall. He cried himself to sleep last night." Please, anything, say something.

"I...yeah, it was a rough night. It'll get easier over time, though, right?"

"No. Haven't you ever heard that saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Kendall..."

He was on the verge of tears, Kendall could hear it, and he made up his mind. He was going after Carlos and he wouldn't let up until Carlos had no choice but to give in. When Carlos was clinging to him and begging for Kendall to love him back, that's when he would be satisfied. "Yes?"

"I...gotta go."

Fine. I'll let you off the hook this time, but never again. "Talk to you later. Put Katie back on?"

"Sure. Call me tonight?"

"Always. And hey."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

There was nothing, and then...

"Shit, Kendall, what the hell did you say to him? He just walked out of here in tears."

"Fuck yes!" Kendall yelled, causing the entire restaurant to turn and stare. Logan hid his face and sighed. Kendall couldn't bring himself to care.

"What the hell is wrong with you, dude? I tell you he's crying and you're happy?"

"Yes! It means he loves me, and for some stupid reason that only Carlos would understand, he thinks I only want sex from him."

"Maybe because you kept telling him that's all you wanted?" Logan interjected.

"Oh. Yeah. That may be why. I'm as stupid as he is."

"Okay, I need to go make sure he's alright. I'll call you later."

"I'm flying out there as soon as I get a flight booked. Call me when you can. And don't tell him I'm coming, I want to surprise him."

"You got it," Katie sighed, then hung up.

Kendall was practically bouncing in his seat.

"What in the world did I miss, Kendall?" Logan was grinning, Kendall's excitement contagious.

"So. What if the only reason Carlos went for beer and pizza was in an attempt to make me jealous? Force me to show my cards?"

"Okay, before I address anything else you just said, explain to me what the beer and pizza is about."

"She likes beer and pizza. For dinner."

"So that's what you call her?"

"I sure as hell won't give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her name."

"You are ridiculous. Eat your lunch and tell me why you're flying to Minnesota tonight." Logan shoved Kendall's plate closer to him, and Kendall attempted to speak while shoving food down his throat.

"Karen suggested that maybe Carlos was trying to get me to admit to something."

"Who's Karen?"

"I'm Karen," she popped in with, setting down their check.

Kendall laughed when he saw that she'd slid it toward Logan. "I'm sorry about last time. Give me that, I'll be nicer."

"So I hear you're taken?" she asked Logan, passing the check to Kendall.

"I am. By an incredibly wonderful man who loves me more than I deserve to be loved."

"Are we puking yet?" Kendall joked.

"I think it's sweet. You're lucky, a lot of people don't find that special person. And sometimes when they do, they don't hold on to it. Let it slip away." She glanced down at Kendall. "Don't let him slip away."

He nodded, blushing slightly. "Working on it. I'm gonna fly out tonight and make him mine. Not letting go until he gives in. Thank you for the talk earlier, if it wasn't for that I would still be miserable."

"Glad I could help. Tell your little cutie I can't wait to ruffle his hair again."

"A few more weeks," Kendall promised. "Unless I can get him here sooner."

"And I'd better be invited to your wedding."

"Count on it."

When she'd moved on, Logan looked at Kendall in bewilderment. "You realize I'm completely lost here."

"She waited on us Friday when I was here with Carlos. Mistook us for boyfriends. Well, you and me. That's how she knows you have someone, I told her. And she said she could totally tell Carlos was into me."

"See? So what's his problem? You really think he'd try to make you jealous?"

"I don't know, it doesn't sound like Carlos' style."

"It's more something James would do."

Their eyes met as they got it at the same time.

"Planting a seed," Kendall muttered.

"He is so dead." Logan whipped out his phone and called James. "You'd better answer, I don't care if you're at the gym, you'd better—hey. You. Love of my life. Did you tell Carlos to try to make Kendall jealous?"

Kendall stared, eyes glued to Logan's face for signs.

"Hang on, I'm putting you on speaker." He did and set the phone between them. "Now, talk."

"Hey guys. Um. I might've...made a little suggestion."

"Are you crazy?" Kendall asked him. "That almost ruined everything!"

"Well, it was supposed to work! You were supposed to get so jealous you'd tell him how you feel, and if you didn't he was supposed to tell you everything before he left."

"I don't even understand. Are you saying you knew Carlos had a thing for me?"

"Duh. The entire state of California probably knows after the way you two were carrying on."

"But he told you? And you didn't tell me?"

"Or me?" Logan questioned.

"No. He didn't say anything of the kind. He asked me how to know if someone's in love or just using you. Made it sound like he was talking about the girlfriend, but I knew better. So I suggested maybe he test it by going for someone else, or at least pretending to, but I never imagined you wouldn't break, Kendall. Why didn't you just tell him how you feel?"

"It's not that easy, okay? How many times did you mess with Logan's head before he had to run after you and tackle you in an elevator?"

"That's not...it was different. I mean-"

"No, it isn't different, James. You were scared to take that risk, and so was I. He's flirting with a girl when he's confused about his sexuality, of course I'm gonna assume he wants to date her."

"Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time. I'm sorry, but watching the two of you was torture. I wanted to bash both your heads in and force you to kiss and profess undying love for each other. I was trying to help."

"Jesus. Okay, well it's still fixable. I'm going to get him."

"Good. Uh...babe? You still there?"

"I'm here," Logan answered.

"You still love me, right? I'm sorry I meddled but they were driving each other crazy and I wanted to see if I could do something and-"

The speaker turned off as Logan returned the call to its normal setting. "James," he said softly. "I'm not going anywhere. I know. Honey, I know, it's okay. No, I'm not mad. Hey. Hey, slow down, I still love you and I know you were trying to help."

"Unbelievable."

"Hold on. No, I'm not hanging up. James. Listen to me. Shh. I'm right here. Let me talk to Kendall for a minute." Logan set the phone aside and blew out a breath. "I'm sorry, but please don't be mad at him."

"I'm not really, I just can't believe I fell for it. James is right, I should've said something sooner."

"Yes, but we knew that. I also know how hard it was for you, how afraid you were to lose him. Which is something my husband apparently has issues with as well. He's terrified I'm going to leave him because he upset you."

"You call him a husband, too?"

"In my heart, he is. I guess that's something we need to work on, him trusting that I won't leave him every time he makes a mistake. Because he will."

"You're not worried about him leaving you?"

"Strangely, no. Every time he looks at me, touches me, kisses me, I know it's forever. And I know I'll screw up, too, but...he won't leave me. I know that."

"I want that, Logan. With Carlos. I want to know he'll be at my side always."

"Then go make him yours. You've belonged to him for ten years, whether he realized it or not. Go make him yours now."

A bright smile crossed Kendall's face. "This is gonna happen."

"I know it is. Go get him."

Kendall reached out and picked up the phone. "You know there's an easy fix to this, right?"

"Kendall? Oh god, please tell me I didn't fuck up. I can't lose him. I can't."

"Then ask him to marry you. Officially. I guarantee he'll say yes."

Logan's eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth.

"It's already in the works, Kendall. So I didn't just fuck it up?"

"No. But you do have to make it up to me."

"Anything. Name it and it's yours."

"Backstage passes to any show my sister wants to go to. In fact, all of the shows she wants to go to."

"Done. Can I talk to Logan now? Please?"

"Sure. I promise, James. He's not going anywhere."

Logan took the phone greedily. "Call or text me if you need me."

"I will. Thanks, dude."

"Anytime."

This time when Kendall paid the bill, he left Karen a tip of one hundred dollars, though he felt that her tip-off to him had been worth at least ten times that.

Ninety minutes later Kendall was on a plane, having barely made the flight after stopping at home to throw an overnight bag together. He'd received a text from Katie as he was boarding, simply saying "CALL ME ASAP." That set the butterflies in his stomach aflutter. What if she wanted to tell him to abort the mission, that he was way off base and Carlos couldn't stand the thought of ever seeing him again and he should just kill himself now to avoid the torture of living a life where he would be forced to watch Carlos marry beer and pizza and push their little perfect-toothed children down the swirly slide?

That vision almost had him running, but he found the resolve to keep going. No matter what Carlos might have to say about it, Kendall was determined to do this. If Carlos chose to never speak to him again, at least it would be easier to get over him.

But not forget. Never forget him, couldn't if I tried. And I will always love him. Always.

He held on to the fact that his "I love you" had caused Carlos to cry. That had to mean something.

It seemed like forever until he was able to use the plane's phone. Katie picked up right away. "Hello?"

"It's me. "

"Are you coming? Please come."

"I'm on the plane. Is he okay?"

"He's a mess. I can't stand to see him like this, so hopeless."

"So I have a chance?"

"Dude. You have no idea."

The butterflies took flight, to be replaced with sheer exaltation. "He talked to you?"

"We talked for over an hour. You weren't kidding, he was going crazy holding it all in. You two are a pair of idiots who need to learn how to express yourselves."

Kendall smiled. "We express ourselves plenty."

"Not when it matters most."

"So what did he say?"

"Okay, I feel really bad telling you all this because he trusts me, but I already know he's never gonna come clean to you, so I'm going for it and it's worth him being upset if it gets you two together."

"I'm not leaving there without him. Well, in a figurative sense."

"Let me close my door. I tried to send him home but he says he'd rather be here, that being alone just makes it worse. You two, I swear. You have no idea how hard it was for me to not tell him you're in love with him. The poor guy."

"Why are you feeling sorry for him? I'm the one who's been suffering for ten years."

"He's been suffering too, just not in the way you have."

Kendall frowned. "What does that mean?"

"I'm going to tell you a story. You comfy?"

"I'm on a plane. I'm as comfy as I'm gonna get. Now spill!"

Katie took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay. Once upon a time there were three best friends. One was super smart, one was a big goof, and one was a lovable kid who was always doing crazy stuff and needed extra attention."

"Wait, so I'm the big goof?"

"I'm your sister, I can say that."

"Fine. Go on."

"All the time while growing up, the goof was like a big brother to the crazy kid. Looked out for him, took care of him, was there to give him whatever he needed. He got to a point where he kind of worshiped the big goof."

"Okay, I knew this much. He's always thought of me as his hero."

"Right. And then there was Logan, who could bond with you in a way he couldn't, because Logan was smart and didn't always need looking after. It was more of a...balanced friendship, let's say. Carlos felt inferior in that sense."

"Carlos is not stupid."

"I never said he was. But you and Logan were close friends, while you treated him like a kid brother who was tagging along."

"Katie, that is utter bullshit, I have never felt that way about Carlos!"

"Hey, don't yell at me, it's his story!"

"When did I ever make him feel like he wasn't on the same level as Logan?"

"You'll have to ask him that. He loves Logan, never resented him, but apparently always felt like you two had a bond he couldn't be part of."

"Jesus Christ, Carlos."

"So that's the way it was and he lived with it. Then you both went gay."

An anvil dropped onto Kendall's chest. "Oh no."

"And here was one more thing you two shared that he couldn't. Did you know he made out with a guy once, hoping he was gay and just didn't know it yet?"

"I...yeah. I didn't know why, though. He said he was curious."

"He was praying he would like it. Not so he could be gay with you, just so he could be part of that...club. But apparently there were no sparks, so he decided it wasn't meant to be. And he hated that, hated that you and Logan were all flirty and could check out guys together and talk about things he couldn't share."

"Oh, Carlos. Why didn't he ever say anything?"

"Right, because obviously you're both stellar at talking about your feelings when it comes to each other."

Kendall had no comeback for that. Instead he asked, "So he was jealous?"

"Basically, yeah. But he never hated Logan, just felt like it was the way things were. He lived with it, knew you guys loved him and that was enough. And then Logan moved away."

Kendall nodded, looking up long enough to accept a soda from the flight attendant. "But that was good, right? When Logan moved?"

"Dude, he said it was the best time of his life. He had you all to himself, had your focus in a way he never did before."

"Of course he did, I was in love with the little fucker."

"And you two bonded even more, got closer and went on dates together but also just hung out, and he loved that."

"He practically lived at my house."

"Right. But he said you seemed to get sadder as time went on. You guys would go on dates and you would be pissy or sad after them, and you apparently never went on more than one or two dates with the same person."

"It started to get really hard, Katie. We were closer than ever but watching him with someone else killed me."

"I get that, but all he knew was you guys were close and you were still getting sadder and you wouldn't open up to him or tell him why. He felt like he wasn't good enough to be a confidante for you, like you thought he wouldn't understand the way Logan would."

"I'm going to kill him when I get there."

"Oh, it gets better. He decided you must be in love with Logan."

Kendall's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

"That can't be a surprise, he's been trying to get you two together for over a year."

"But that makes no sense! If he was jealous, why push us together?"

"Because he wanted to see you happy. If Logan made you happy, then you should be with Logan."

"Carlos, oh my god. Going to smack him." Kendall popped the tab on his soda and drank some down. "He kept hinting at it, saying we should date."

"Because he thought you two were in love. We both thought that, actually."

"I know, and I just...fuck. Okay. So he decided I'm in love with Logan."

"And then you got traded."

"Fuck," Kendall repeated.

"And he didn't know you asked for the trade, but he knew it was no coincidence that you were going to where Logan was."

"Jesus."

"He was happy for you in a way, thought you would finally get what you wanted and that you'd been missing Logan so much, and that's why you were so sad. But once again..."

"I chose Logan over him."

"Yup. You moving away devastated him, dude. He didn't know how to live without you. You'd always been there."

"I know, and I knew it would hurt him but I couldn't do it anymore. I was killing myself. Dying inside every time he talked about a girl or I had to watch him with one. And they didn't even treat him the way he deserves to be treated, I got more and more pissed off that he was letting them use him when I was right there offering everything he could ever want."

"When did you offer anything?"

"I...well, not in a romantic sense, but...you think I should have?"

"Not sure he would've been ready for that. It's only recently that he realized his feelings are more than friendship."

"Okay, fine. So I moved out here-"

"And he was miserable. He hid it well, though. I knew he missed you, but damn. Plus, he was sitting here thinking you and Logan were finally together and even though he was happy for you, it was one more thing he would be left out of, especially since neither of you would admit it to him. This time it was something huge, and for the rest of his life. Because he knew you guys were right for each other and that it would last."

"But Logan had James!"

"Not until the past few months. What really killed him, I think, is when I mentioned that you'd willingly given up being on your favorite team to go be with Logan. He said he kinda knew it anyway, not that you'd made it happen but that you chose L.A., and hearing that you'd consciously put in a request to move away from here hit him really hard. You chose to leave him behind, felt he wasn't enough to keep you here. And then lied to him about it."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

"Yeah."

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry."

"Tell Carlos, not me."

"So we talked on the phone every night and the whole time he thought Logan and I were in love."

"Yup."

"But then when James did show up he knew better, right?"

"He said that really confused him, because it meant you guys weren't together. And then he just felt sorry for you."

Kendall's eyes widened. "But why?"

"Because you'd been in love with Logan all that time and never got him. Because you had to see Logan with James, listen to him talk about James when it was breaking your heart."

No. Just no way. "Are you telling me he still thinks I love Logan?"

"He doesn't know what to think. He's confused."

"No shit."

"He wanted to meet James, see them together, to see if it was a temporary thing or if it would last. Because if it was gonna last, he wanted to move out there so you didn't have to go through that alone, so he could be there for you. Are you seeing how messed up this all is?"

He was. He'd wanted to be there for Carlos, for Carlos to never be alone, and Carlos had wanted the same for him. The whole thing was enough to make his head hurt. "Did he suggest the foundation's move to L.A.?"

"He did. Put the idea into Mom's head, reminded her she'd get to see you more. Dude, he even did research to show her how much good we could do, what a huge need L.A. has for a place like us. He called some big corporations and got them interested in donating. This is huge, Carlos usually doesn't deal with the executive side of things. He's best with people, not money."

"Carlos Garcia, I am gonna kiss you so hard when I see you."

"But he felt really guilty the whole time he was there because he was hoping James and Logan would stay together."

"Why guilty?"

"He knew you'd be sad and alone, and he didn't want that. But at the time same he did."

"Because then I'd need him."

"Exactly. And he was going to do whatever it took to keep you smiling. Whatever you needed, he was gonna give it to you. He hinted there was sex of some sort?"

"Uh..."

"Kendall, I'm twenty years old, I know people have sex. Even my brother."

"But you haven't yet, right?"

"...we're not talking about me."

"I don't want to know," Kendall groaned.

Katie rushed on. "So I guess he could see that Logan and James are really into each other, and he figured you'd be alone forever, just waiting for them to break up so you could have your chance. He said you'd probably never try to date again, and he couldn't stand the thought of that, of you alone and sad all the time."

"So when he was here, he went along with every move I made."

"And that's when things got weird. He didn't give me specifics, but apparently when you two made out or whatever, he really liked it. A lot."

"Yeah," Kendall said softly. "He did."

"And that scared him."

"Right. Because he doesn't want to be gay."

"Have you not heard anything I've been saying?" Katie asked incredulously. "He wanted to be gay."

"Then why-"

"Just not for you. If he fell in love with you, he'd really be screwed. Then he'd be like you, in love with someone who's in love with someone else."

"Katie, this is really fucked up."

"You're telling me. You're gonna fix it, though, right?"

"Oh, I am so gonna fix him."

"Good," Katie chuckled.

"So why is he afraid to love me?"

"Because you love Logan. He'd have you until Logan was free, and then he might lose you. He said he didn't think he could survive that."

I so know that feeling. Carlos, I am so sorry. "Did he say anything about beer and—sorry. Jenna."

"The realtor lady? Yeah, he said there were times when he thought maybe you were starting to fall for him-"

Starting to fall. Oh, Carlos.

"-but he was afraid to get his hopes up. You guys had some ice skating date?"

"Yeah. It was perfect."

"Well, that's when he knew for sure he loved you, that what he was feeling was actually love. And he wanted to believe you were feeling it too but didn't know how to ask. So he came up with the bright idea to see if he could make you jealous."

"Thanks to James. Asshole."

"Carlos says James is cool."

"He is, but he screwed this up worse. The good thing that came out of it is you get all-access passes to every single one of his concerts you choose to go to from now on."

"Me?"

"Yes. He felt really bad about giving Carlos that idea, so he wanted to make it up to me. You're welcome."

"OMG. OMG OMG OMG are you serious?"

"Are you done fangirling? I have a future boyfriend to hook up with."

"Is James as hot in person as he is on T.V.?"

"Yes."

"Oh my gooooooooood. Why is he gay? Why?"

"Because Logan needed him. Can we move on? You'll get to meet him soon enough."

"It's always about you, isn't it, Kendall?"

"Carlos. Focus. We're talking about Carlos."

"Whatever. So he tried to make you jealous and it didn't work."

"Oh, it worked. I wanted to punch that bitch."

"Should've told him that. He was heartbroken when he thought you didn't care if he dated her."

"I was afraid to scare him away, afraid to ruin our friendship. Ugh, this is all so fucked up, and now he's sad because he thinks I'm in love with Logan?"

"More because he realized he's in love with you and he'll never have you like that."

"Wasn't it enough that we fucked? That didn't clue him in?"

"He says you kept telling him it was just two people who were lonely and helping each other out."

Oh my god. I fucked myself. Because I was so afraid to scare him away, I made him think I didn't want him like that.

Katie brought him back to the moment. "So what are you gonna do, dude?"

"Leave him with no doubt about what I want from him, that's what."

"He'll be home in a few hours, when do you get in?"

"Not for a while yet. I need a favor."

"Anything."

"I need you to—whoa, really? Just like that?"

"You got me James Diamond. You want it, it's yours."

Kendall laughed. "Logan might fight you for him."

"That's fine, I'm good with just staring and maybe talking a little."

"Take Carlos out somewhere, I need some time."

"When?"

"After work. I want to be there when he gets home."

"Kendall, Mom and I were supposed to-"

"James Diamond."

"But...but...we've been dying to see this movie and-"

"I'll make him dedicate a song to you at his next concert."

"...oh wow. Um. Um. But this movie is-"

"Katie, we're talking about my life here! Help me do this! If not for me, do it for Carlos, so he's not sad anymore."

"Aw man."

"Take him to the movie with you guys. And dinner. Just tell him you're worried about him and don't want him to be alone. Please, Katie, let me do this right."

"Okay, fine," she sighed. "How long do I need to keep him out?"

"I'll text you when I'm ready for him."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna go get my man, and that little shit is not getting away from me this time."

"Such loving words," Katie grinned. "You got a way from the airport?"

"I'll rent a car."

"How are you getting into his house?"

"I have my key."

"You...still? From a year ago?"

"Always hoped I'd have a reason to use it someday."

"You got all the romantic genes in this family, bro."

Kendall smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment. I'm gonna go, I have planning to do."

"Turn his frown upside down. Or else."

"I will. And thanks."

"Anything to see him smile again. His sadness creeps me out. It's like a zombie Carlos."

"I'll fix it."

"You'd better. Text me."

"I will. Bye, sis."

"Bye."

Kendall placed the phone back in its cradle and reclined his seat back.

All these years you were holding all that in. And the last year especially, going through all that and not talking to anyone, not having me to lean on. You are so much braver than anyone realizes, Carlos. I love you so much. You will never be alone again.

Closing his eyes, Kendall started to plot.

You're mine, you little shit. And I'm not giving up this time, not until you're clinging to me and begging. Or at least crying a little.

For the first time in ten years, there was peace. Kendall was going home to his heart.