Hayley...
It hurt her to do it, but she felt like she had no choice. She couldn't ruin his marriage, even if not telling him the truth would cost her happiness.
She paused again, stroking her bump gently.
'I'm going to make sure you have a good childhood Hayley. I promise I won't mess you up like my mum did with me.'
After pulling herself out of bed, Jac took a long hot bath with scented essential oils, playing some gentle naturalistic sounds to relax her.
Once she was out and dried, she took a while to look at herself in the mirror, gazing at her evident little bump. It excited her that her womb held a life. A life. It had taken so much of getting used to, and she had to keep it under wraps. But here, no one cared because no one knew her past. And she liked having that anonymity.
Her gaze on the mirror breaking, she decided to do something productive for the day. Noticing it was a warm and sunny day, Jac dressed herself in a vest top and long flowing gypsy style skirt and went into the kitchen to organise some food for a mini picnic.
After much consideration, she packed some garlic chicken sandwiches, some ham sandwiches, some cheese sandwiches, a fruit smoothie and some juices and more fresh fruit. Scouting the cottage for a picnic basket, she packed it up and set out for the beach, thinking back to the past as she walked...
***
'I booked us a holiday,' said Joseph with his eyes alight in excitement.
'Where to?' asked Jac, genuinely intrigued.
'Weymouth,' said Joseph. 'I've rented us a cottage by the sea for the weekend.'
***
'I never thought I'd enjoy a weekend at the beach so much...'
***
'I love you...'
***
'We'll be together forever...'
***
'I can see my future with you...marriage, children, everything...'
***
Snapping back into reality, she carried on walking towards the beach. She could almost smell the sea air, and it calmed her somewhat, like it always did.
'Hayley,' said Jac. 'I hope you'll like the beach like I do, it's one of my favourite places.'
Reaching the beach, she found a good spot and put down all of her stuff, before taking off her sandals and heading to the shoreline. Walking across the beach, the waves lapping at her ankles, she took a chance to bath herself in the sunlight. And as she walked, she sang...
I haven't ever really found a place that I call home It's just a thought, only a thought But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy I've always thought It's just a thought, only a thought But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
As she finished the song on her mind, she rubbed her stomach gently and said, 'That'll change, I'll make sure of it.'
Tiring of walking, she went back to her spot and laid out the picnic blanket that she brought with her, and sat down on it.
Opening the picnic basket, she began to devour the food that she brought with her, savouring every moment of amazing flavour. And before she knew it, everything was gone.
She giggled at the fact that she had eaten her way through so much, and yawned slightly. It was definitely right to say that a full stomach made you tired.
Lying back on the blanket, she let the sounds of the sea wash over her, inhaled the sweet sea air, and found herself drifting off to sleep.
'Jac, Jac my love, wake up,' he whispered softly.
Stretching and yawning, Jac sat up, her eyes lighting up when she saw him.
'Why are you here?' asked Jac. 'How do you know?' The emotion was mounting up in her voice.
'Shh, shh, shh,' he said, stroking her face gently. 'Connie told me. I thought that I should be here.'
'I'm so happy that you're here,' she said quietly. 'I don't want to face this alone Joseph.'
Hugging her close, he said, 'Jac, you won't have to, I'm here...forever and for always.'
'What about Faye?' asked Jac.
'How could I stay with Faye and turn my back on you, the woman I love, and the baby that we made together in that love?' he said softly, squeezing her hand.
Jac remained silent, and simply squeezed his hand.
'Our little girl will have everything,' said Joseph. 'We'll have everything. I love you...'
'I love you too,' she replied.
Dreams are essentially part of fantasy. You'll find what your heart desires within your dreams. But for Jac, it let her down. It felt so real, like he was by her side, holding her hand, hugging her, promising to love her and their baby. It seemed so real, but fantasies and dreams always let you down in the end.