Song: Call It Off-by Tegan and Sara

BPOV

"Please try to understand," I pleaded. The looks they were giving me made me feel terrible. "I just...I need some time. A lot's just been dumped on me. I don't blame any of you, of course; it was all just a horrible misunderstanding. I'm not angry anymore. I'm just confused. I just want to be on my own, to figure this out..."

Alice was the first to speak. "We understand, Bella," she said softly. "Don't we, Edward?" She cut a glance at him, obviously thinking some carefully selected thoughts.

Edward seemed to droop in defeat. I felt awful. I hated to disappoint him. But I just didn't know any other way around it. I didn't feel comfortable being around him just yet, not when I didn't know how exactly I felt.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"As soon as the others come back, so I can say goodbye-for now," I was quick to add, as he hung his head.

The hole in my chest was threatening to burst open again. I hoped it would hold until I worked things out, and made my decision on whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship with Edward again. For once in my remembered life, I wanted to make a decision that wasn't dictated by my loneliness.

EPOV

We all stood in awkward silence as we waited outside for the Denalis to return. Tanya was the first to break through the line of trees around the compound. She was followed by Carmen and Eleazar, then Irina and Laurent. Last came Kate and Garrett, who, to everyone's surprise, were shyly holding hands.

I glanced over at Bella. Her eyebrows looked like they were about to shoot off her forehead.

"Bella!" Garrett called. He and Kate dropped hands, and he ran forward to my love. "Check it out!" he cried. He leaned over her and widened his dark orange eyes.

Bella gasped. "You-you tried an animal?" she stuttered.

"Yep!" he said proudly, looking back at Kate. "Kate, um, persuaded me." He winked. I winced. Like Emmett, he was a loud thinker.

"I gave him a couple jolts," Kate jumped in quickly, before anyone-namely Emmett-could say anything suggestive. "He asked me to!" she added hastily, as Bella glared at her.

Bella sighed. "Why would you ask her to, Garrett?"

"I was curious," he shrugged. "And I don't think I've ever told you I'm a glutton for punishment," he said with a grin.

Tanya made a gagging noise, making almost everyone laugh.

"Well, I have to give you credit, Kate," Bella said, shaking her head. "You've done more with him than I've been able to do in about four years."

"Hey, what's with the welcoming committee?" Garrett suddenly asked, looking around at us all. "Did someone tip you off to my big surprise?"

"No," Bella said. "I just wanted to say goodbye to everybody."

Everyone's thoughts immediately turned somber. "Goodbye?" Garrett repeated.

Bella nodded. "I need to be on my own for a while. To sort things out. I've been given a lot to think about."

Garrett stared at her, his mind racing. He looked regretfully back at Kate, then sighed and said, "Then I'm coming with you."

Bella shook her head. "I can't ask you to do that, Garrett," she said. "Not when you and Kate have just gotten...acquainted. And besides, I'd rather be completely alone. More opportunities to clear my head, you know?"

Garrett's thoughts were unsure. "Are you certain, Bella?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah," Bella said, a little too quickly. "Don't worry about it. And it's not goodbye forever. I plan on coming back here to see you all again before too long, anyway."
Bella embraced everyone in turn. After each member of my family gave their hug and well wishes, they entered the compound.

As the last one before me, Alice, went through the door, Bella tentatively reached out and took both my hands in hers. "I'm sorry," she said sadly.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," I said, just as glumly. "I'm completely the one to blame."

"I don't think that's true," Bella said. "I understand that you felt you had to do it, but...it would have been nice if you'd listened to how I felt on the matter."

"I know. And I'll always be sorry that I didn't."

She sighed. "Maybe things would be different if I could remember the good times, too," she said. "I wish I could, I really do."

I was focusing on her face intently, trying to ignore the loud thoughts in the compound. I had to memorize this version of her before she disappeared again.

"I'll think about you all the time," she said, gazing back into my face. "And I'll do my best to try to remember." The next thing I knew, she had her arms around me in a hug. I was stunned for a moment, but I quickly hugged her back.

I could feel the sting of nonexistent tears as I held her tight. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't know if I could do it again, if I was strong enough...

You can do it, Edward, Alice's calm thoughts reached out to me. You have to. If you don't let her go now, you'll never have her at all.

Somehow, someway, I found the strength to release her. She stepped back, nodding once to me. "I'll see you soon, Edward. I promise." With one last look, she turned and walked away from me.

This is what she wants, Alice thought to me. You have to respect that.

I knew she was right. But I didn't have to like it.

I couldn't remember when time had meant something to me. I supposed it had been when Bella had been human; when time had meant something to her. It seemed to stop when I thought she had died. And when we'd reunited, time had seemed to stretch out before me, full of promise.

Now, though, it again seemed to have no meaning. Bella was gone, that was all I knew. And despite Alice's assurances that she would return-though she didn't know when-I felt my deepest fear was dangerously close to being realized: That she wouldn't return; that she would realize she wanted nothing to do with me.

The Denalis assured me that I could go to Abbotsford with my family if I wished, and that they would call the moment Bella returned. I wouldn't hear of it. I wanted to be there if-when-she came back. I wanted to hear her answer in person. And I wanted to be able to say goodbye to her in person, if that was what she chose.

My immediate family wanted to stay close to me. They seemed just as eager as me to see Bella again.

It was a good thing the compound was huge; even so, with the fourteen of us, it still seemed quite cramped. Thoughts that weren't my own filled my head at all times. And yet, I didn't dare to venture far from the building. What if Bella returned while I was gone?

Making things harder on me was Kate and Garrett's newfound bliss. It was the last thing they intended, but that didn't make it any easier.

I found Garrett to be a bit odd, but I liked him well enough. I hadn't attacked him on sight when he had burst into our meeting, calling Bella's name, because his thoughts about her had been above reproach. They were purely brotherly and protective. It seemed he had more than one similarity with Emmett. Kate, who was somewhat used to my mindreading, at least made an effort to keep her thoughts appropriate; Garrett, once he found out that I could read minds, seemed to sometimes think even louder. But he was a good person, and I was grateful for his companionship and protection of Bella over the past years. So I let him and Kate continue their courtship without so much as a word from me.

Kate and Garrett may have caused me turmoil, but Laurent was the one who troubled me. I had been appreciative of him during our first encounter, when he'd reined in James and then given us information on him and Victoria. I was glad he'd decided to try the animal diet, and I was happy for him and Irina. He'd given me no reason in the past to distrust him.

And yet...there was something about him that made me feel I'd misplaced that trust. Or, more specifically, something about his thoughts. Ever since I'd come to Denali, the tenor of his thoughts seemed very different from the last time I'd heard them, when James was still alive. Of course, he was mated now, but that didn't entirely account for it. I was familiar enough with thought patterns to know when someone was trying to keep something from me.

The way he hid his thoughts was similar to Emmett's favorite technique: Whenever I thought he was on the verge of slipping and thinking of whatever it was he was hiding from me, he would suddenly change course and obsessively begin to think of Irina, and their time together. That was always enough to keep him sufficiently distracted, and enough to drive me away.

But what suddenly made me think there was cause for concern was the fact that he had not been nearly as surprised as the rest of my cousins to see Bella, as a vampire. And, contrary to what he told Irina and the others, he had recognized her instantly.

I wasn't sure what he was hiding, why he was being deceitful, or what it all meant; but Jasper sensed his deception, too. He wanted to confront him, but I didn't know about that. I didn't want to cause family strife over nothing. But then, if it wasn't nothing...In the end, we decided to see if he let anything slip. Jasper and I watched and waited, and kept our suspicions to ourselves in the meantime.

But it wasn't Laurent who slipped in his thoughts. It was Emmett.

My immediate family was gathered together in the living room while the Denalis were all out hunting together again. Though we did generally enjoy spending time all together, we also felt it was important to spend time in smaller groups, or in our respective family units. Besides, the larger the group, the more difficult it was to get good prey when hunting.

My family may have been together in the same room, but we were all off in our own worlds. Alice and Jasper were silently curled up together in one of the window seats, sparkling in the setting sun. They were content just enjoying each other's presence, as usual. Esme was sketching a landscape design in one of the room's nooks. She didn't currently have any plans to bring the sketch to life; it was more of a design exercise for her. She was trying to figure out how to squeeze one more fountain into the design without it looking overly opulent or outright tacky. Carlisle was sitting near her, reading a digital copy of a new medical book on his tablet. I was skimming along with him in his mind as he read, but there was very little updated information, and the changes that I did notice were incredibly minor.

Rosalie, Emmett, and I were sitting on the couch. They were watching a movie that was on TV. It was a Harry Potter one, I was pretty sure. The sixth one, maybe? I had long since stopped keeping track. I knew the basic plot of the series, but it had never really interested me. I had been a little preoccupied with falling in love with Bella around the time the book series had been reaching its conclusion, so I wasn't very familiar with how it ended. And since her "death" six years ago, of course I hadn't been keeping up with much of anything. I imagined I would catch up with it eventually.

I was paying more attention to Carlisle's medical text, but I was sort of following along with the movie through Emmett's eyes. His sense of wonder tended to make me care about things I wouldn't normally.

The movie had just entered a flashback of sorts, where a young man was asking someone about some made-up word. (Maybe that was my problem with the series-I had little patience for made-up words.) Emmett was turning over in his mind the concept the older man was explaining.

Splitting the soul in pieces...huh. That's interesting. Glad that's not real. I mean, at least, as far as I know. How would you even know it happened? It would hurt, I guess. The same as the burning, or different? Nah, I don't think it would be like burning. Or maybe it would, just quicker. Yeah, it would be quick. I would know if I'd lost a piece of my soul, wouldn't I?

"It's a movie, Emmett," I muttered.

Emmett glared at me before lashing out in his thoughts. He would say that. Talking about souls always makes him moody. Especially Bella's.

I whipped my head around to stare at Emmett. "What?" I said. Her soul! I had been so happy to have Bella back with me in any capacity that I had completely forgotten about her soul. How could I have done such a thing?

"Oops," Emmett said.

Everyone looked up then. Coming from Emmett, oops was never an inconsequential thing.

"Boys..." Esme said, thinking she was being preemptive.

But Carlisle was looking at my face. "Edward, what...?"

"Her soul, Carlisle," I gasped, managing to stand. I began to pace.

"Emmett," Esme said, her expression and thoughts thunderous.

"I didn't mean to think about it!" Emmett protested, flapping his hands at the TV. "I was thinking about the movie, and it just kind of happened."

"Edward, just-" Carlisle started calmly. I cut him off.

"But her soul!" I cried, my hands twisting in my hair.

There was a collective, Here he goes again... But then: Oh, would you shut up about her soul already, Edward!

I turned to Rosalie sharply, ready to give her a piece of my mind. I was so sick of her attitude. I'd been sick of it for far too long.

She looked up from the floor, glaring at me, and started dividing polynomials in her head. Without a word, she stood up and, to my surprise, took me by the hand. She led me out into the forest surrounding the compound.

She started running. I followed her lead. Whatever she wanted to say to me, she wanted it to be completely private, out of the hearing range of our family. I only followed because it was probably best that there were no witnesses when I killed her.

About a half a mile away, she stopped and turned on her heel to face me. "Stop it, Edward!" she said. "Just stop."

"You listen to me, Rosalie," I growled.

"No, you listen!" she shouted. "We have all had it up to here with your freaking martyr complex and your selfishness! Have you ever stopped to consider that Bella is her own person? That she can make her own decisions? That she has a say in the state of your relationship and whether it should carry on? That the issue of her soul is a private matter, between her and whatever god there may be? That it has nothing to do with you? How dare you! What almighty being chose you as the go-between, as the righteous person appointed to protect Bella's soul, if she even ever had one? What makes you so special? What gives you the right?"

I took a step back. I was pretty sure Rosalie would be red in the face right now, if she still had blood circulation. I considered my next words carefully. Part of me wanted to yell back at her, but part of me...part of me knew she was at least partially right.

"I...I love her," I finally said. "I want to protect her."

"That isn't your job, Edward." She wasn't yelling anymore, but she was speaking firmly. "You can only protect her if something is actively threatening her. And besides, she's perfectly capable of protecting herself. Your job, as her mate, is to make her happy. Your brooding is only going to make her miserable." It's made all of us miserable. "For crying out loud, Edward, treat her as an equal! You are equal now."

"We're not," I whispered miserably. "She's never killed anyone. Not even once. I-I..."

"We've all killed. Even Carlisle, in his own way." She gestured to her hard, cold body. "She may not have killed anyone, but chances are she will, eventually. And what will happen then? Will you forgive her? Will you still love her?"

"Of course I will!" I said.

"I know," she said, her voice finally turning soft for a moment. "But before she comes back, you need to do a few things: First, drop the soul obsession. Even if you're right, and Bella had a soul, and it's gone now...you can't do anything about it. You need to accept what you have now. And second, well, you don't need to love yourself, but you definitely need to stop loathing yourself. You need to forgive yourself, Edward. For everything."

"I don't deserve forgiveness," I said, turning away from her. The faces of my hundreds of human victims flashed before my eyes...ending with my most precious Bella's. If only I'd been there...

"And you're exceptional in that regard?" Rosalie asked. I turned back to her, confused. She went on. "You made mistakes. We all have, but we've all managed to forgive ourselves. Except for you. Carlisle and Esme forgave you long ago. Bella will forgive you, too. But you wouldn't have left her at all if you hadn't put her up on a pedestal and thought yourself unworthy of her."

I would never admit it, but I was impressed with Rosalie's line of reasoning. She was wrong, though.

But she wasn't done.

"The second you put someone up on a pedestal, you get in trouble. We're all special, but the second you actually start to think someone is better, you're in trouble."

"But she is better!" I protested.

"Maybe," Rosalie admitted. "But you're not worse, Edward."

Rosalie had been my sister for nearly eighty years. I'd always seen her as self-centered and shallow, based on the thoughts she'd had in my presence. But I'd never truly known how she'd felt. And it was just now dawning on me that I'd never much cared. I stared at the seemingly young woman before me, who physically had not changed at all in those eighty years. But it appeared she had somehow changed in the year I'd been gone. Either that, or...or I'd never truly known her in the first place.

She sighed. She turned away from me, breaking our eye contact and our impasse. I should probably hunt now, she thought. I nodded. She had worked herself into a bit of a frenzy just now.

But she had one more thing to say to me.

"They call it the past for a reason, Edward. Let what's passed rest. Leave it behind you. Bella has."

And in a flash, she was gone. Before long, her thoughts faded from my mind, too. But as I lowered myself to the ground to think, her words were still echoing in my head.

A/N: Edward does not speak for me on Harry Potter! While I haven't been obsessed since the series ended, I do have an abiding fondness for it. It was a huge part of my childhood, after all. (And don't worry, this won't turn into some kind of stealth crossover or anything!)

I hope Rosalie's speech didn't seem too out of character. I think she was just really fed up with Edward's self-loathing and wanted to verbally knock some sense into him.