CHAPTER 12 : WHEN THE MIND TAKES OVER

Thursday, Merlin got a little reprieve as they were to visit the château with Professor Geoffrey. Ever since he had been on 'le petit train' and taken photos of the exterior, he had waited impatiently.

All the boys were excited. They had been well prepared and had studied the history of the original fortified building called Le Rocher way back in the eleventh century. Professor Geoffrey had photos from 1850. The building was in ruins still standing over the village but not an inspiring sight.

It would be the majority of the Level One students' first visit. But Arthur surprised Merlin when he heard him tell Gawaine that he had been there before. He gave no further information and Gawaine looked at Merlin and shook his head. Even he was beginning to see that Arthur could be tedious. It was hard work to get him involved in a conversation but once he got going, he seemed to relax and almost seemed a normal twelve year old.

Merlin smiled sadly, not that he had ever had a conversation with his roommate.

Geoffrey went ahead in the car with his maps and projector and the boys walked down into the village and then made their was through the green gate as they had on 'le petit train' and walked around the foundation walls along a road which Leon told them had at some time or another probably been a moat. Finally they reached the entrance and each boy had to show his ICG card and seasonal pass.

Professor Geoffrey was waiting for some of them to help him carry his teaching aids and en masse they passed through the châtelet to the portcullis. Merlin had in the last two weeks seen lots of photos of the courtyard but he was unprepared for the grand style and it caught his breath as he saw it in real life. He stopped dead and Lance bumped into him.

Following their professor's 'Allons-y!' they made their way to the far side of the courtyard.

Merlin snapped a photo of the duke on his horse and then saw that Arthur was in the photo as well. He thought, 'I can cut him out.'

At the end of the portico, there was a door and they were in a classroom, complete with tables, chairs and overhead projectors. "You have one hour to explore on your own. Then we will have a lecture by one of the National Monuments Guides. There is to be no running or fooling and Monsieur Le Directeur will not be impressed if you are barred from having your classes here due to bad behaviour."

Merlin and Lance made their way back to the chatelet, turned and slowly walked back to the portcullis, Merlin taking photos the whole time. Lance insisted he take one with his head in the salamander's mouth and he did. They both laughed about it. "Can you send it my mother?" asked Lance.

"Sure!" said Merlin with a grin on his face. Lance was genuinely kind and friendly and he really liked him.

He suddenly realised that he hadn't seen Arthur since walking across the courtyard to take a photo near the statue.

It surprised him at how uncomfortable he was feeling. "Lance, is Arthur with Gawaine?"

"Don't know. I saw him when we came through the gate. He was carrying one of the professor's charts."

Merlin forgot about it. He was in his element. The light was perfect and in no time, he was clicking away. The architecture thrilled him from the salamander downspouts to the cats and kittens on the roof sections. He just took whatever caught his fancy knowing that he would discard many. With his seasonal admittance card, he intended to come back at every possible opportunity to get more photos.

The lecture was excellent. At least eighty percent of the boys were interested and Geoffrey kept an eye on the four possible trouble makers. Merlin looked around and realised that Arthur was not with Gawaine. During a break in the lecture to set up a screen, Merlin asked him, if he knew where he was.

Gawaine shrugged, "He said that he had to go pee! Haven't seen him since."

Merlin couldn't concentrate. He checked the toilets next to the lecture room, empty. He couldn't understand why he was worried. Arthur hardly knew he existed. He thought, 'Why should I care about him? If the shoe was on the other foot, Arthur wouldn't!'

Lunch break was next, ICG had catered a meal and it was delivered to the chateau. Lunch was served picnic style under the trees on the hill opposite. At the next opportune moment, Merlin took the time to check out the public toilets in the purveyor's yard through the tall archway next to the chapel, still no Arthur.

Merlin couldn't shake the feeling, he took Miles' phone out and looked at it before finally clicking on his name. Almost immediately it was answered and he was relieved to here a familiar voice.

"Miles, I can't find Arthur and I'm worried."

There was a pause and Merlin was immediately relieved as he heard that Arthur was with him. "Don't worry, Merlin...See you when you come back."

For some reason, which he didn't fully understand, he felt better. He ran back to the others and had a great time. They had a guided tour of the areas not usually open to the public, the kitchens and attics. Merlin was disappointed that they weren't allowed up on the turrets but he could see that the cost for insurance for twenty boys, to run wild up in the towers and roof would be exorbitant.

The afternoon seemed to fly by. The group left after helping Professor Geoffrey load his car. They went through the parking lot and down two flights of stairs and came out on a road which they followed down to the village. Merlin loved the ancient stairs and the archways set in the wall surmounted with crests. He'd be back to photograph them in a better light.

They all trooped back up to the institute. He had told no one about Arthur's leaving and no one asked. He let himself into his room and was surprised to see Miles sitting near the window. He glanced around and saw Arthur asleep in his bed.

Miles put his finger to his lips and motioned for Merlin to join him in the corridor. "Thank you for thinking about him. Arthur had a nasty turn so I brought him back here. He's all right now but his head was causing him some discomfort and I didn't want him blacking out up there. We borrowed Geoffrey's car and one of the staff drove it back up."

"How did you know he wasn't well?"

"I was there. I had driven up with Geoffrey."

"Why?"

"…because that's my job. I will be a caregiver to Arthur until he no longer needs me. "

"But why today? You didn't come to tennis class?"

"Merlin, one day, you will understand. I'd like to thank you for looking out for him, even though I know he isn't nice to you."

"He doesn't like me...what have I done to hurt him?"

"He's unsure of himself when you are around..."

"I wouldn't hurt him, Miles."

"Deep down, he knows you wouldn't hurt him but he's not ready to let go of his fears." Miles put his hand on the door knob and they walked back into the room.

Arthur was sitting on the edge of his bed, stretching. He ignored Merlin and addressed Miles, "I'm going down for supper, I feel O.K. now." He stood and walked to the bathroom.

As the door closed, Miles smiled at Merlin saying, "Hang in there! You would have liked him before his accident..."

-0-0-

Merlin woke, Arthur was sobbing again but this time it didn't seem to be a nightmare. It sounded different. He raised his head slightly and could see that Arthur's bed was empty. Now he was worried...the window was a casement and wide open, he could fall over the safety bar.

He slipped his feet to the floor and sat up slowly. He could see Arthur's bare feet. He was crammed into the space between the wall and his wardrobe. He was crying and mumbling to himself.

Merlin again made out the words 'leave and Mummy'. Arthur's voice was much higher, he sounded more like a ten year old than his twelve years. Finally, Merlin knelt and shuffled across to the corner.

He grabbed his iPhone but before he could use it. Arthur said, "Someone, help me! I can't take this anymore."

Merlin put down the phone and crawled over to Arthur. He said, " It's me, Merlin. I'm here." He reached out his hand and laid it on Arthur's knee but he pulled back scooting further into the corner.

Looking at him, Merlin felt that Arthur was reliving something. His eye motions were erratic and he was again mumbling. This time Merlin distinctly heard the words, Captain and Sergeant.

"Arthur, it's me Merlin..."

"I don't want to go over the top. I'm not ready to do it again. Please…!"

Merlin put his hand on Arthur's leg and left it there. He couldn't back up any further and he didn't push him away. He started sobbing and it got to Merlin so he put his hands out and took Arthur's. "Arthur, come here." Arthur shuffled toward Merlin who was sitting in front of the wardrobe.

Merlin suddenly felt much older than Arthur. The moonlight was shining down on them and as Arthur crawled closer. Merlin stayed still until Arthur was beside him and he slipped his arm around his shoulders. Arthur's head rested on his shoulder. Merlin stayed beside him until he quietened.

"Arthur, I think you should go back to bed." Arthur just shook his head.

Merlin got to his knees but Arthur grabbed his hand. "Stay with me. Don't leave like everyone else..."

"Arthur, I won't leave you. Come on stand up!" Merlin surprisingly soon had Arthur standing and walked him over to his bed. He sat him on the side and straightened his blanket. "It's getting really late. Lie down…"

"Merlin, don't leave me alone. Get into my bed..."

"But I'm only across the room." Merlin pulled the blanket over Arthur. Returning to his own bed, Merlin said, "You can see me. I'll leave my bedside light on." He looked at the phone but decided not to waken Miles as Arthur was certainly more settled.

He lay their staring at the ceiling, Arthur had said his name! Not in a mean way but as if he might almost like him.

He must have dozed off and smiled as he felt Tessa jump on his bed. He moved over. She always joined him at dawn, having slept on his mother's bed all night. Then he felt an arm around him and someone put his head on his shoulders. He wasn't asleep anymore. He knew who it was. He asked quietly, "Arthur?"

A voice mumbled, "Go to sleep, Merlin..."

...and Merlin did.