(I'm not myself you know. – Alice in Wonderland.)

Obsessive Reader22

Thanks to Spiffytgm for tagging me, and sorry it took so long. As for my usual, I brought it someplace that it hadn't quite gone. My inspiration for this chapter is the quote "I'm not myself, you know." From Alice in Wonderland. (The final quote is as well, of course.)

I hope that you enjoy this chapter and not be too angry with the crazy train that I boarded for this one.

Helen POV

Stephanie turned around and held out a hand to stop her. "No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time."

Helen froze, her mouth agape, the realization finally sinking in that her daughter wasn't going to change her ways. Her heart broke, but not because of a notion that her daughter was somehow making a horrible mistake, but because she saw that she no longer had the control over her that she had always had.

Looking at Joseph Morelli, seething and panting in anger at his former fiancée's refusal to see reason, she saw the hostility and danger that could have been. The Morelli's have always been drunks and beaters, but Joseph had always been the golden child. The one that seemed to have dodged the curse. Now she wasn't so sure.

Without saying another word, Helen Plum took a breath turned and walked out not looking back. The realization that her actions caused the emptiness in her life. Her chest ached as she continued her way out of the building and onto the streets. Haywood was a busy street, filled with both new and old businesses. Traffic was non-stop as she stood watching the traffic whizzing by.

She heard the door slam open, crashing against the brick face of the building as Joseph stormed out. He cursed under his breath and grumbled about making a big mistake and how she would pay. The ache in her chest grew and she felt as if she was going to collapse into herself like some sort of black hole.

"Helen." Joseph growled, coming up next to her and placing his large hand on her shoulder. He squeezed, twisting her around to face him; her face twisting in a grimace as pain radiated through her shoulder. "We will get her out of that criminal's hands. She is meant to be with me. She ruined my career with the TPD and brainwashed my mother and grandmother into hating me."

"No." Her voice was quiet but surprisingly firm.

"NO!?" He shouted, grabbing her with both hands and shaking her slightly. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? You're the reason why we have fought so hard. You can't just roll over and allow your daughter to be such a disgrace. Such a disappointment!"

His face was feral, spit speckling her face as he yelled. His hands tightened around her shoulders and she could almost hear her bones creaking in distress. His eyes were black, gone were the deep chocolate orbs that she had seen the past four years. They were replaced with the eyes of someone that she never thought she would see again.

"You WILL go home and prepare for her. She is going to come with us whether she likes it or not. She's like an addict. We just need to get her away from the toxic waste that she has been abusing." For the first time, in a long time, Helen was afraid of Joseph Morelli. The fear rushed through her veins as he continued his rant, explaining in detail the horrors that her daughter was going to face at the hands of a man that she had been pushing for.

"No." she said again, pushing at his chest forcefully. His grip slipped as she caught him off guard, sending him back a few feet. "No. No. No." She whispered over and over, dodging his grasp as he lunged for her. "NO!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He finally grabbed her by the hair and the back of the neck, leading her toward his vehicle which he had parked in front of the building. Pushing her in the back seat, she slipped and smashed her face into the cup holder in the floor of the back seat. Even though she cried out in pain, he didn't look back. He only slammed the vehicle into gear and sped off down the street.

Curled on the back seat, Helen Plum felt things that she hadn't felt in years. She felt the love that she had for her youngest daughter. Images of her little girl, the girl that grew into the woman that had just basically told her that she no longer considered her a mother. The holidays, birthdays and special occasions where Stephanie always made sure that she made something for her mother. A card, hand drawn and colored in brightly. A mud pie filled with flowers that she knew were her mother's favorites.

"When had I started to hate my own baby girl?" She whispered, the view out the window blurring from tears. "What have I done?"

The vehicle lurched to a stop, sending Helen once again into a free fall; this time into the back of the front seat. Joseph ripped open his door, slamming it so hard that the vehicle rocked. When the back door opened, Helen didn't have time to think before Joseph reached in and pulled her out by her arm. She felt the brittled aged bone in her arm crack as pain radiated through her. When she cried out in pain, Joseph only growled at her to shut it as he continued into his home.

"Get in the fucking kitchen and make me some food." He pushed her in, taking the stairs two at a time as she stood gathering her thoughts.

'I can't do this.' She thought. Tears continued to flow down her cheeks as guilt and shame filled the spaces that fear hadn't quite reached in her mind. Looking up at the now empty stairs she thought about what she could do to make this right. Joseph was in full swing of some sort of violent breakdown. No one is going to help her, and she didn't blame them. With a shaking hand, she sighed and moved into the kitchen to start on dinner.

Steph POV

Stephanie lay on the sofa in the living room on the seventh floor. The screaming match between Joe and her mother left her drained but also confident in the decision that she had made. She loved her mother, there was no way around that, but she had come to terms with the fact that her mother was never going to allow her to live the life that she wanted.

Carlos was in his office downstairs. It took a great deal of convincing on Stephanie's part to get him to believe that she was okay enough for him to get some work done. He needed to focus on his business, especially after Tank's recent time off and Lester and Bobby's failed management. She could admit to herself that she wished that she could crawl into Ranger's lap and cry. She would love to have his arms around him as he whispered in her ear all the reasons why everything was going to work out.

'If I can stand up to my mother and Joe, then I can handle this myself.' She thought, sitting up tall and nodding her head. 'This may be the end of my and my mother's relationship, but this is only the beginning of my life with the man I love and the friends who have always supported me.'

Even believing in those words, the stabbing guilt of losing her mother was still there. She wondered when exactly things had gotten this bad. When had the sweet, kind, caring woman become this vindictive woman. The memories of her during my early childhood were those of after school specials and Sweet Sixteen novels. She was always smiling and laughing; always supportive and loved how creative her and Val were.

It was like one day she just stopped. She just turned off that part of herself and opened up an insecure and bitter woman.

Helen POV

Dinner was done by the time that Joseph came back down stairs. The shaking of her hands had stopped after the first 20 minutes, but the pain that radiated in her chest only grew stronger. Ideas swirled around her head of ways that maybe she could protect her daughter from the woman that she had become and the man that she had fueled all these years. So far, nothing had come close to being manageable.

"This better be good." Joseph growled, sitting down at the table and looking over the serving dishes that covered the table. I served him his food, watching for ques as to what he wanted. She stood behind him, waiting to hear whether or not it was going to be acceptable. He said nothing, but continued to eat. "I can't believe you couldn't teach your daughter how to cook. Isn't that the only job you really have? She isn't prepared to be someone's wife at all."

'Preparing her to be a wife.' The phrase rolled over and over through her mind, conjuring memories of a man that she never wanted to remember. That day, all those years ago, bubbled to the surface choking her with malice and guilt.

Stephanie had burst into the house, tears flowing down her face and her dress torn and dirty.

"Momma! Momma!" She cried, throwing herself at her mother and wrapping her small shaking arms around her thighs.

"Baby, what happened?" Helen Plum reached down and cradled her youngest child in her arms, looking over her to see if she was hurt. "Tell Momma what happened."

"Joey tricked me!" She cried out, her usually angelic features twisting into an angry scowl. Helen knew her daughter had a temper but this wasn't the normal type of mad. "He…He…."

Pounding on the kitchen door stopped her. She shrieked as she saw the menacing figure of Mr. Morelli on the back stoop. Whimpering she curled deeper into Helen's arms. Fear and anger radiated off both of them. The Morelli's weren't known around town for being upstanding citizens. Even Frank, Helen's openminded husband, had warned her not to get involved or allow the girls to play with the boys.

Taking a deep breath Helen placed Stephanie on her feet.

"Go play in your room, Baby." She kissed her forehead and patted her bottom, immediately freezing when she noticed that the Strawberry Shortcake panties she knew were there hours prior were now gone. Stiff legged, after Stephanie had scampered off to her room, Helen turned and opened the door.

"Keep that slut away from my boy, Helen." Mr. Morelli's greeting was more of a growl. Swallowing she tipped her head back and stood taller, holding the door frame and the edge of the door with her hands.

"Mr. Morelli, you will not speak of my child in that way." She could feel her body quivering in fear, but stood tall hoping that he wouldn't notice.

"That SLUT of yours was molesting my Joey." He spat out, his lip curling in disgust. "Maybe if you would raise your daughters to be good Christian girls they wouldn't give cause to call them names."

"Keep yourself, your family and your son away from my daughters, Morelli. If I see any of you even set a toe on my property I will call the authorities." She was proud that she stood up to him, but was still afraid.

He grinned a horrible malicious grin and leaned forward, his whiskey soaked breath hot against her face.

"Helen." He reached out his hand to touch her, but she moved out of his way. "Calling the law? I know you wouldn't do that."

"Leave." She ground out, trying to press the door close. He held it open.

"Don't make me come back here, Helen. You know that making me angry never worked out good for you." He laughed and her heart nearly stopped. She did know what making him mad would do. They had gone to school together, and had personal experience with his inability to accept the word 'no' from a woman. "Why don't you just accept your role? My boy doesn't need some slut coming after him. He's too young. You need to prepare her to be a wife, instead of filling her head with those ridiculous ideas of…what does she call it….flying?"

"Get out!" Helen's voice cracked as tears swelled in her eyes. He winked and turned around to leave.

The fear never left her, and every day Mr. Morelli would point in her direction and wink. Every day, he would remind her of what he could do to her. That fear created this monster inside of her. That fear made her do horrible things to her child, so that she would never have to face a monster like Mr. Morelli.

Her hands shook, standing behind Joseph, as she realized not only had she tortured her children but she had driven her into the arms of the man that she had always tried to keep her away from. She had been pushing her child into the hell that she knew existed within a monster like Mr. Morelli. A monster that seemed to grow even more evil as it passed into his youngest son, Joseph.

Closing her eyes she realized what she had to do. She had to stop this chaos. She had to let her daughter finally be the woman that she wished that she could have been herself. As she watched, Joseph grumble through the meal she had cooked him, her conviction grew strong.

"You burned the gravy, Helen." Joseph spat, pushing the gravy boat onto the floor sending glass and thick sticky gravy everywhere. "No wonder your daughter is useless."

With a deep breath, she reached behind herself and grasped a large heavy trophy. It had been the highlight of his life, being a football star and taking the team to state. Winding her fingers tightly against the bronze man atop the marble base she raised it high above her head.

"NO!" She screamed as she drove the marble into his skull. Over and over she swung, each time spraying blood around her. When her arms became too tired to strike him anymore, she carefully set the trophy back on the side table where it had been.

She walked in a trance to the door and out into the street. She didn't think about the blood that spattered her clothing, and dripped from her hair. She didn't stop when neighbors ran out to see what was wrong. She just kept walking. She walked as sirens screamed blocks away. She walked, never breaking stride as people gasped and asked if she was alright. She walked until she reached her destination.

"Ma'am?" A voice echoed through her consciousness as she stood balancing on the edge of the bridge overlooking the train yards that separated the housing district from the manufacturing plants. The tracks were a good thirty feet down, speckled with debris. "Ma'am, you need to stay away. I can help you."

Turning around she looked at the man who was standing behind her. He was a nice looking young man, with beautiful green eyes and dark wavy hair. He wore all black, the Rangeman logo stitched into the breast. She smiled at him and shook her head.

"Tell her I'm sorry." She whispered, knowing that he heard her.

"Mrs. Plum, please. Come with me. No one wants you to do this. Just step down and I can help you." The man pleaded. She didn't know his name, but not because she hadn't been introduced. She had just never bothered to remember it.

"Take care of her." She smiled and turned back to the edge. Closing her eyes she leapt, feeling the air rush around her face.

Time seemed to stop as she descended. She smiled realizing that this feeling, of flying, was what her Stephanie had always dreamed of. The feeling of being free and calm filled her as she took her last breath.

Lester's POV

I lunged forward as Mrs. Plum leapt off the edge of the bridge, missing her by an inch.

"NO!" I screamed as her body rocketed toward the ground, and winced closing my eyes as she hit. "Son of a bitch."

No one liked Mrs. Plum, but this wasn't what anyone wanted. He knew that he had to call this in. Both the police and Rangeman were on their way, as he called the second he saw her strolling on the bridge covered in blood. His heart ached knowing that no matter what Stephanie says, losing her mother will hurt her terribly.

"Control. This is Santos." I sighed, clicking on the speaker of my walkie talkie. "We have a situation. Mrs. Plum is…." He stopped and swallowed. "She's gone."

The radio clicked over to respond, but I was met with only silence.

"It would be so nice if something made sense for a change." I whispered sending a final prayer.

*The quote is from the Matrix.*

CHRISTIBABE…you're up next.