Brenda fought the urge to throw up at her blunt statement, instead focusing on the task at hand, making sure she was ok, physically anyways.
"Your going to have to help me here." Brenda began calmly laying towels over the broken glass so it wouldn't cut into Liz's bare feet. "I can't carry you, Your going to have to help me, get you up and out of the tub."
"I can't even make myself feel clean this time, not even for a second." Liz said as if the other woman hadn't spoken. "I woke up and I could feel his hands, I can still feel them, all over me. I just wanted to feel clean but, The water, I can't make it too hot, it'll hurt the baby."
"I don't know what to do for you Liz, just tell me what you need?" Brenda begged her calm facade fading rapidly.
"I need to feel clean." Liz replied numbly. "But I never will be, never again." She said her head clunking against the cold white tile as she leaned back closing her eyes.
"I don't know what to do?" Brenda said softly.
"Liz?" Lulu voice called.
"Thank god." Brenda sighed. "We're in here, hurry!" She shouted back.
"Oh god, what happened?" Lulu asked as she ran into the bathroom.
"I..I don't know." Brenda replied tearfully. "She was like this, and I just,...She wont get up, I don't know what to do. She said...she said..."
"It's ok." Lulu said shaking the brunet. "We need to focus, you can't fall apart too."
"I'm sorry." Brenda said blinking back her tears. "What do we do?" she asked desperate for direction.
"Go get a blanket." Lulu ordered pulling out her phone.
"Jason is everything ok?" Sam asked worriedly as he hung up his phone the color draining from his face.
"I..I don't know." Jason said springing into action. "That was Lulu, something happened to Elizabeth. She thinks she remembered." He explained hurriedly rushing across the room. "She said...I have to go."
"Jason?' Sonny asked worriedly.
"I have to go." Jason repeated hurrying out the back door and across the lawn that separated the main house from the guest house.
"Can you stay with the kids, don't let them know...We don't know what's going on, no sense worrying them until...especially Cameron." Sonny began painfully.
"Of course." Sam nodded.
"I should,... I should call Lainy." Sonny nodded picking up his phone.
"We didn't want to risk her fighting us and slipping." Lulu explained as she lead Jason into the small bathroom.
"Elizabeth." Jason called softly kneeling down beside the white bath tub. "I'm going to picky you up now." He said as her gaze met his. "Ok, you can't stay in there." He continued keeping eye contact as he slowly moved his arms under her wrapping the blanket Brenda had placed on her more securely around her body as he lifter her into his arms.
"Elizabeth." He began calmly laying her down on the soft bed. "I'm going to go outside, Lulu will help you get dressed."
"No, don't leave me." She cried disparately clinging to him.
"Ok, it's ok." Jason assured her. "I'm not going anywhere." He said taking the soft white towel Lulu offered and gently drying her hair as Lulu began opening drawers and puling out clothing. He kept a hold of her hand calmly talking to her. About nothing in particular as Lulu helped her into some warm Pajama's. He fought to control his rage as he saw for the first time the true extent of what she'd been through. Gone was the heavy makeup, the concealing long sleeves, that hid her injuries.
"I...you need to tape my ribs." Liz said quietly wincing as Lulu raised her arm to pull it through the sleeve of her shirt. "They said someone kicked me." She continued quietly.
"I got it." Jason said quickly getting the medical tape from the destroyed bathroom.
"Should I have called 911?" Lulu asked quietly after they had her dressed as under the heavy comforter.
"No, I think she's ok." Jason sighed.
"She said they told her." lulu began confused. "But Brenda said she remembered."
"I..I don't know." Jason sighed.
"Lainy's here." Brenda said quietly opening the door a crack to poke her head in. "Sonny called her." She explained.
"Ok." Jason nodded. "Elizabeth, were going to let Lainy come in and talk to you, ok?"
She nodded numbly shutting her eyes.
"I panicked, I didn't know what to do." Brenda said ignoring the tears that streamed down her face. "She was just sitting there crying in the shower. I kept calling but it was like she didn't hear me."
"It's ok." Lulu comforted her. "I should have been here. I..She told me to go, that she was fine. I was damn determined to find out, to prove...I should have been here."
"How is she?" Sonny asked quietly walking into the small living room. "Sam's with the kids, I couldn't...How is she?"
"Elizabeth, I need you too look at me." Lainy said calmly perched at the edge of her bed.
"What?" Elizabeth asked tiredly opening her eyes.
"What happened tonight?" Lainy asked.
"I'm just tired, tired of pretending." Liz sighed. "It's too hard."
"Pretending what?" Lainy prompted.
"That everything's ok, that I'm ok." Liz replied quietly. "I had a dream, about that night, about that happened in the office. I woke up and I could feel his hands all over me, touching me, I just wanted to feel clean, I couldn't even do that."
"And that made you angry." Lainy nodded.
"I turned on the water, hot, real hot, but I couldn't step under it, I knew it could hurt the baby. I was so frustrated I just...I just started throwing things, anything I could get my hands on." Liz sighed. "My life is so out of control, out of my control, even a stupid shower. So yeah, I guess I was pretty angry."
"That's understandable." Lainy replied.
"Really, not to me." Liz said bitterly.
"Why didn't you talk to me about feeling this way?" Lainy asked.
"I...I figured if They thought, if you thought, it was better to just pretend it was ok." Liz sighed.
"Not for you." Lainy replied. "It's ok, not to be ok."
"Jason told me that once." Liz smiled sadly. "And it was, I could not be ok, because I had him."
"He's still here for you." Lainy replied. "He was here tonight."
"Yeah, he always is, he's here when I'm not ok, when I'm a mess, in trouble." Liz nodded. "But I can't let him do that anymore."
"Because it's not fair to him?" Lainy asked.
"No, this is completely selfish." Liz sighed. "I know he's be there for me, he wants to be, but I can't let him. Because as soon as it is ok, as soon as the danger passes, he wont be there anymore. I can't let him in again. I can deal with this, I can handle this, not very well obviously, but I'll get through it, I have to. But, the next time he walks away that, I don't think I'll survive."
"Ok." Lainy nodded. "I know you want to be strong, you want to prove you can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. It's ok to need someone."
"I don't want to need Jason." Liz sighed.
"It doesn't have to be Jason, there is a room full of people who are worried about you. They want to help you, you just have to let them." Lainy replied.
"It's just..I'm scared." Liz admitted quietly.
"I know." Lainy nodded. "Do you want to talk about your dream? What you remembered?"
"I didn't remember anything, well nothing new." Liz sighed. "But what does that matter, we both know what happened in that room."
"I don't." Lainy replied.
"Yes you do, and so do I and everyone else." Liz said bitterly. "I mean come on you don't repress good memories, do you? I'm not protecting myself from the fact that I wasn't raped."
"We can't know that, not for sure." Lainy replied.
"Yeah, but honestly, tell me the truth, it's the most likely outcome. That I'll remember... remember that I was raped." Liz demanded bitterly.
Ok, I know you all are ready to kill me so I'm going to take mercy on you and let you know that this wont be dragged out much longer. The question of was she or wasn't she will be answered in chapter 16. After some very unhappy responses I was going to go back and change the next chapter to answer the question of the rape once and for all but, I really like them as written and feel some things need to come before the revealing all that happened in that back room.