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Chapter 12: Happy Endings Are Lies

Song: Demons by Imagine Dragons but Boyce Avenue Cover

Clarke coughed, making her presence known, and Lexa immediately looked towards the sound. Her eyes widened a little when she saw Clarke was awake. Lexa didn't know how to act; should she go to her, checking if she's ok? But obviously, Ayden came to the rescue.

"Mommy, you're awake! Come play with us!" he shouted at his mother, a beamed smile on his face.

Clarke smiled back, and approached the duo. She was feeling Lexa's eyes on her and sat on the couch. Her son got up and put a kiss on his mother's cheek. Clarke's heart melted. Ayden always had been the best kid ever, but she knew life was hard on him these days. But right now, with Lexa, he really looked like his age, for once.

"Do you want a hot chocolate too, Clarke?" Lexa asked, taking the blonde out of her thoughts.

Clarke nodded, watching Lexa head towards the kitchen. She felt her son tugging at her hand.

"Mommy look, that game is so cool! Lexa said she was giving it to me!" Ayden said, excited.

Clarke smiled.

"Alright, how do you play at this?" She asked her son.

Ayden started to explain her everything; of course Clarke had already figured how the game worked, but Ayden was so happy to explain it that Clarke hadn't the heart to tell him she had understood. But then Ayden suddenly stopped talking, and frowned.

"Ayden?" Clarke asked, raising her brows at the look on her son's face.

The boy didn't answer right away, still looking at the cards on the table.

"I think Lexa is letting me win", he whispered to his mother, "She has lost every single game".

Clarke chuckled, because of course Lexa had been letting him win. Who wouldn't?

"Maybe she has a bad memory", the blonde suggested.

Ayden shook his head. "No, she's a grown up, grown up have good memories Mommy."

Clarke didn't have time to answer to her son, because Lexa was coming back with a fuming cup in her hand.

"Here you are", she said, giving the mug to Clarke.

Clarke nodded as a thank you, watching Lexa resuming her position on the carpet, sitting at the opposite of the table, with Ayden in front of her.

"Yexa you're ready?" the boy asked.

"Yep!" she answered, "you first!"

They began to play, under Clarke's curious look. Really, she had thought it before, but she was stunned by the complicity between those two.

"Concentrate Lexa, you're going to lose again!" Ayden said, laughing because Lexa had picked the wrong card again.

Clarke noticed the huge smile on Lexa's face, and her heart melted. How was she supposed to handle this? What would happen, when they'll have to leave Lexa's apartment? They couldn't stay here forever, and that's why Clarke had been so reticent to accept Lexa's help in the first place. Because eventually, everything good thing has to stop. Good things were never meant to last, and Clarke didn't believe in happy endings.

Clarke remembered when she found out she was pregnant with Ayden. It was five years ago, and things were a complete mess then. She wasn't trying to get pregnant, hell it always had been out of her mind. Wells just had died, and Clarke was very angry at her mother, and refused to see her. It was not the time to have a baby.
But soon enough she had started to feel dizzy, and had nausea every time she would wake up; she didn't tell anybody first, but eventually Octavia and Raven noticed something was off about her. Clarke was a med student at that time, she had understood the hints of course, and knew she was pregnant, but in the first three months, she tried her best to deny it. Octavia and Raven figured out too, and then it was obvious for everyone when Clarke's baby bump started to show up.

Being pregnant was hard at first, because she was pregnant of Finn; Raven's ex-girlfriend, and even though Clarke knew Raven and him were completely over and Finn was Clarke's boyfriend for a couple of years now, the blonde had been feeling very embarrassed, and even if Raven was trying her best to hide it, Clarke could often read sadness all over her face when Finn would touch Clarke's belly or talking about their baby. That was normal, Clarke had guessed, because Raven and Finn had known each other for such a long time, and she couldn't blame Raven to be sad about the fact she wasn't the one pregnant with Finn's baby.

Her whole pregnancy had been hard, because she hadn't had time to mourn Wells' death and Clarke hadn't been able to forgive her mother enough to let her be there for her during her pregnancy even if she knew she needed her. Clarke hadn't lied about it though, because she was working at the same hospital as her mother, and in a few weeks, everyone knew. She had just kept telling people she was fine, and that she didn't anything. The people who didn't knew her very well believed her, but the Arcadians, they never did, and secretly helped her.

One day, she found out Bellamy was washing her dishes and taking out her trash every time she wasn't home and she hadn't done it by herself. She first had thought it was Finn, but then she had caught Bellamy doing it. There was also that day when she found out Octavia was cleaning her apartment every Friday when Clarke was on shift, and that she was making her groceries to make sure Clarke's fridge was always full. Clarke thought it was Finn's doing, but then again, he hadn't been the one to do it. She eventually had figured out that Raven, Monty and Harper weren't coming to eat with her every few days because they were feeling lonely, but just to cook something for Clarke and be sure she was eating well.

And days after days, Clarke had seen the caring and the attention her friends were giving her, always trying not to look like they were helping her. And Clarke had been grateful, really she had been. She knew that if she asked for help, they'll help her, but the fact they were doing things to help her without having to ask, each one with their own way, had melted her heart more than once.

But things grew more and more complicated, and the closest to delivery day Clarke was coming, the more she was stressed. And one day, that was too much. One night, she was meant to come home from a shift to have dinner with the whole group –they had insisted, telling her they missed spending time all together- but someone badly hurt had caught her up in an OR for longer than she had expected. When she finally came home, it was to hear noises and shouts from a nearby hangar, when she knew there was a dealer's QG. Clarke always had been curious, and had approached the local, recognizing Bellamy's loud voice between the shouts. She had entered the hangar, and she had seen him. Finn, with a gun in his hand, shouting at people. She had heard Octavia scream. She had seen Bellamy's eyes widen. And all she had managed to do was standing here, completely frozen, watching the father of her child murdering people, right before her eyes. Bellamy had been the first one to move, throwing himself at Finn's arm, making him drop the gun, and then running to the people lying on the floor in a huge pool of blood.

Clarke hadn't felt anything after. Everything had turned blank. She hadn't fell Octavia's strong arms hold her, and carry her to her apartment where the others were waiting for them. She hadn't felt Raven's touch when she was trying to make Clarke react and answer to her questions. She hadn't slept a minute in the entire night, even with Raven Octavia and Harper sleeping with her in her bed. And the next day, when she had woken up, Finn had been there, in their living-room, with Bellamy and the other boys. No one talked about that night, and life seemed to start again. But for Clarke, something had break inside. She couldn't look at Finn the same way. First, she was shivering every time he would touch her, and she had trouble staying alone with him sometimes.

But Ayden was born a week after, and Clarke couldn't do much than follow Finn when he decided to buy a little house for the three of us. Clarke had been glad to escape from Arcadia and the constant violence around it, but she wasn't that happy to go live with Finn. Eventually, he had made himself useful in the first months, helping her with Ayden, but soon enough he stopped caring about them, and Clarke stopped caring about him.
Everything had been about Ayden ever since. Even if he was kind of an accident, he was the best thing in Clarke's life. He had beautiful eyes; brown almost like Finn's, but one of them had green spots in it, making them slightly different. Ayden never cried; he was always peaceful, and was laughing a lot.

Bellamy, Octavia, Raven and the others still living in Arcadia had tried to reach her, to help her with Ayden like they had helped her during her pregnancy, but Clarke had slowly pushed them away. It was not against them, Clarke knew they would protect them, but they were surrounded with violence, and Clarke knew she was surrounded by it too, and she had been trying to take care of her baby son by herself. And when he grew up, Ayden had had that same restrain against them; he didn't talk much with them, was uncomfortable when they were touching him, and was always staying around Clarke.

But there he was, her baby son, laughing, playing and joking with a perfect stranger. Suddenly, Clarke didn't want to leave this place. If her son trusted Lexa enough to be completely at ease around the brunette, Clarke could be too. And slowly, she let sleep take over her tired body, tired to fight and content to finally feel safe. She closed her eyes, and soon she was sleeping on Lexa's couch.

Still in their game, Lexa and Ayden hadn't noticed Clarke falling asleep. It was Ayden's turn to flip a card, and Lexa was internally smiling, because that kid was smart, and he was going to win the game. But Ayden didn't choose the right card, and Lexa frowned, turning the right card. She had won. Ayden gently smiled to her, not leaving place for doubts. The boy had faked not remembering where the right card was. He had let Lexa win.

"You let me win", Lexa stated, raising her brows at the kid, "why did you do that?"

"You had done so the past fifty games", he shrugged, "it can't hurt to lose sometimes".

Lexa looked at him in awe, tearing welling in her eyes.

"Ayden..." she whispered.

She couldn't believe it. The kid had purposely let her win.

"Hey Yexa look", Ayden took Lexa out of her thoughts, "Mommy is sleeping".

Lexa smiled, because god damn she's cute when she sleeps. The brunette took a look at her watch. It was already late.

"Ok Ayden, do you want to shower?" Lexa asked, noticing he hadn't showered himself for a couple of days.

"Yes", Ayden smiled.

Lexa went to her closet to pick up some new clothes for the boy, and showed him the guest's bathroom. She could have made him shower in her own bathroom, but she wanted to put Clarke in her bed while Ayden was showering, and she didn't want to wake up the blonde. Yes, put the blonde in her bed for her to sleep, not anything else, stop it Lexa.

"Who sleeps in this bedroom Yexa?" Ayden asked.

"I will", she said, "Because I lent my bed to your mother".

Ayden nodded, and went into the bathroom. Lexa left him so he could shower –he had assured Lexa he could do it on his own- and she got back into the living-room.

Clarke was still sleeping, and Lexa didn't know what the right thing to do was; should she wake her? Carry her to the bedroom? The blonde looked so peaceful, and Lexa hadn't the heart to wake her up. Slowly and carefully, she put an arm around Clarke's shoulders and the other one under her knees. In her sleep, Clarke put both her arms around Lexa's neck, making the other girl shiver.

The brunette put Clarke under the blankets, switch off the lights after being sure Clarke was comfortable, and made her way back to Ayden.

In the bathroom, the boy had just finished to shower himself, and was trying to dry his hair. Lexa entered the room after knocking, and couldn't keep herself from laughing. He was funny, with the big towel on his head, rubbing and rubbing his hair.

"Let me help you", Lexa said when Ayden frowned because she had laughed at him.

The boy handed her the towel, and she began to dry his hair. While doing so, Lexa noticed there was water everywhere on the floor near the shower; maybe Ayden wasn't capable of showering himself properly after all, but Lexa didn't say anything, remembering to ask Clarke about it.

"Okay Ayden, let's go eat dinner!" The brunette said, and Ayden happily ran into the kitchen, already asking Lexa what he had to do to help her.

They made dinner together, and as they were sitting at the kitchen table, Lexa noticed Ayden seemed a little off; he was barely touching his food, just playing with it.

"Hey, is everything ok Ayden?" Lexa asked with a gentle voice. She didn't want to scare him.

"I miss Mommy", he sighed, pushing his plate away, "I'm not hungry".

Lexa's heart broke. She quickly got up, and went to kneel in front of him.

"Your mother is in my bedroom, she didn't leave Ayden", Lexa started to try to reassure him, but the boy shook his head.

"No Yexa, you don't understand", he said with a tiny voice.

Lexa's brows rose. "Will you explain it to me then?"

"I miss Mommy being happy", Ayden confessed, "she lost her smile because of mean Finn".

Lexa didn't know what to say to the kid. How could she possibly explain something to him? She didn't even know the whole story about this Finn guy and Clarke!

"I'm sorry Ayden, but eventually it's going to be better", Lexa tried.

"I wish we could stay with you forever", Ayden whispered, taking Lexa's sleeve in his hand and playing with it, "Mommy smiles when you're with us".

Lexa was voiceless, and quickly put both her arms around the boy, hugging him. Lexa too, wished they could stay with her forever. In fact, who was saying they couldn't? Lexa internally sighed, because those things couldn't happen in real life. In real life, you couldn't meet a homeless woman with her child, bring them home and start acting like a family together. That was impossible. And Lexa knew it well; love is weakness, love stories and happy endings were bigger worldwide lies than Santa Claus and the tooth fairy combined.

"Alright Ayden", Lexa said when they pulled out of the hug, "Maybe you could go on the couch watch TV while I wash the dishes, ok? "

The child nodded, and went into the living-room.

Lexa took her time washing the dishes, thinking hard about what would happen next. Clarke had been able to get up today; she definitely was strong, and in was a matter of hours before she was strong enough to run away. Lexa sighed, because she didn't want the girl to go. She couldn't explain why, but when they were around, she was feeling like it was right, you know? Like they were meant to be or something, like she was right at her place. Meant to be my ass yeah, Lexa scolded herself, do you hear yourself talking? They are not your family, remember? Yours is dead.

Lexa quickly wiped the tear that had rolled down her cheek. She couldn't think about that, not as Clarke and Ayden were still under her roof.

She had finished cleaning the kitchen, and went into the living-room, to find a sleeping Ayden on the couch. She slightly smiled, because god how cute he was when he was sleeping, just like his mother. This time, Lexa didn't wake him up, and carried him to her bedroom. She had figured he would want to sleep with his mother for this night. Lexa was nothing to him, after all.

She carefully pushed her bedroom's door open, trying to make her way into the room without waking Clarke up. But then she noticed Clarke was already awake, since two blue eyes were looking right at her.

"Lexa?" Clarke whispered.

For all answer, Lexa put the still sleeping boy on the mattress near Clarke.

"He fell asleep on the couch", Lexa explained.

Clarke nodded, and put an arm around her son, and smiled when he snuggled closer to her, grabbing her shirt into his hands.

"Are you feeling better?" Lexa couldn't help but asked.

Clarke's eyes were glowing, but not because of the fever. Lexa really cared about her, after all.

"I'm ok", the blonde whispered.

Lexa nodded, and started to leave, but Clarke stopped her, grabbing her wrist.

"Lexa wait"

Lexa frowned, and turned herself to face Clarke.

"I... I just wanted to thank you, for all of this", Clarke whispered pointing towards Ayden and her with her finger.

"It's nothing", Lexa brushed her off.

"Yes it's something, no one else would have done it, and I don't how I am going to repay for every..."

"Stop", Lexa cut her off, "you awe me nothing". Lexa sighed, and sat next to Clarke, her face at her eyes' level.

"Clarke, I don't know your story", Lexa murmured, "but I would like to help you way more than that. But for that, you have to let me".

A single tear rolled down Clarke's cheek.

"You don't have to do this alone", Lexa added, "I can help."

Clarke nodded, and without thinking, Lexa wiped her tear with her thumb, bringing their faces very close to each other. Clarke's heart was beating fast, because the two women never had gotten so close to each other. Is Lexa going to kiss me?
Lexa slowly leaned, and Clarke closed her eyes, already seeing the brunette's lips on her own. Lexa's heart was beating fast too, and she couldn't believe what she was about to do. She leaned more...

But at the last second, she leveled her head and kissed the blonde's forehead. If Clarke felt something irradiate her whole body, as well as a tiny feeling of deception, she didn't show it. Lexa stayed a few second with her mouth on Clarke's forehead, and then pulled back.
None of them said something, and as Clarke didn't seem ready to let Lexa go yet, Lexa could see the blonde was silently asked her to stay with her until she fell asleep. Lexa began to draw circles on Clarke's forearm, drifting her to sleep in a matter of seconds.

When she was sure Clarke was asleep, Lexa went into the guest room to have some sleep for herself, thoughts rushing through her mind. Was I really going to kiss Clarke, with her son in the same bed? , Lexa thought. What was going on with her? Lying on her bed, Lexa couldn't stop thinking about the almost kiss. Why Clarke?

Lexa sighed, and buried her face into the pillow. Soon enough she was asleep too.

During the night, Lexa awoke, feeling something moving in her bed, and snuggling under the blankets. She managed to open her eyes, to see Ayden snuggling against her chest, wrapping his tiny fists around her night shirt.

"Ayden?" she whispered, surprised to see him here.

"Safer with you", Ayden yawned, half-asleep.

Lexa sleepily smiled, put both her arms around the small boy, and got back to sleep with Ayden's breath on her neck.

Maybe happy endings weren't that big of a lie, after all.

End of this chapter! Don't kill me for the almost kiss, everything will happen eventually! What did you thought about that chapter? What did you think will happen next? Do you have ideas you want to tell me? Feel free to let me knooooooow! DON'T FORGET I'M FRENCH and I can make typos, tell me if I'm not making any sense to you! See you later guuuuuuuuys