Okay, here's chapter 11. Oh and don't worry. This will not be an M rated fanfic. But it may be kinda close. And I know Peeta may seem a little OOC but remember, they have nothing else like the Games or a rebellion to distract themselves from each other. They have pretty much all the time in the world, so Peeta's hormones are now wanting some attention.

Anyway, enough chit chat. AND thanks so much to all the wonderful reviewers!

KATNISS POV

I stare at Peeta. Did he just say he wanted me? I want him too, but I'm not sure if I want him in this way, at least not yet.

Peeta's grip on me is tight, and I barely have wiggle room. Peeta's still breathing hard, waiting for my response. I'm not sure what to say. I admit, I do feel like I want more of him sometimes, but this is just all so sudden.

"Peeta, I'm not sure if we should…I mean, this is all happening so quick." I really don't want to disappoint him, but I know he won't make me do anything I don't want to do.

The fire in Peeta's eyes dull a little, but not completely. He sighs, loosening his grip around my waist. "You're right. I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me lately."

Peeta looks so disappointed in himself that I want to say yes right now. But I know I shouldn't. Instead I take Peeta's chin so he's looking at me in the eye.

"Soon, okay? I promise."

Peeta smiles. "I love you."

"Love you too."

I realize that I'm still straddling his lap and stand up. I can feel my face heat up. Peeta follows me back to the kitchen and goes back to the food, which I admit I forgot about. I sit back down and continue my work, waiting for lunch.

PEETA POV

As I finish up lunch, I can't stop thinking about what I said to Katniss. I want you. Man, could I be any more inconsiderate? I shouldn't make Katniss uncomfortable like that. Although her being uncomfortable did hurt me a little, I guess I kind of deserved it for pushing the subject with her.

But I still want her. My mind says no, while my body says go. I wonder what girls even feel. How can they control themselves so easily? Or maybe they're just stronger than us. With Katniss, I can believe that. Obviously, she's the strong one in our relationship.

As Katniss and I eat lunch, we exchange some small talk. I know it's still awkward, but I don't want to bring earlier events into the scene again.

But then all of a sudden, Katniss says, "Peeta, I want you too."

Huh?

"You…want me?" I choke out.

She nods. "Yes, I know exactly how you feel. But I'm not ready. And I'm telling you this because I want you to know its not about you. I know this may sound cliché but it's me. Someday we will, um…you know…" she makes some vague gesture with her hands.

"You mean…make lo-"

"Yes that." She quickly interrupts me. I smile at Katniss' innocence. Its kind of hot.

"So…?"

"So, what?"

Katniss is pushing around her food. "Have you ever…"

"No!" I say, knowing what she means. "Katniss I've never done it before. Remember you were the only one I've ever wanted. I haven't even thought about anyone in that way. Well, mostly." I can't lie about that. I have ogled some girls in my life, but it's rare. It's more like I admired their build.

Katniss doesn't seem to mind the last part. She smiles. "Me neither."

I laugh. "I kind of figured that."

She laughs too, and we continue eating. A couple of bites later, Katniss says, "You know, I'm kind of surprised. You were pretty popular in school."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I was tempted. But, that was just lust."

"So, what is it with me?"

I look up at her. "Love." She blushes and looks away. I was never one to hide my feelings, but Katniss was harder to read. She was never comfortable with this sort of stuff, so I'm surprised she is even mentioning it. She has no reason to feel insecure. She has to know by now that she's the only one who makes me want to…well you know what I mean.

"You know, Katniss," I tell her. "I'm perfectly fine with waiting. If that's what you want then…I'll respect your decisions." I smile at her, but I'm not as confident in myself as I look.

KATNISS POV

Peeta is amazing. I mean, what kind of guy is perfectly willing to go for abstinence when they are so tempted not to? An amazing guy, that's what. And that guy is Peeta. He says he is perfectly willing to wait, and I'm happy we're on the same page. I still feel a little guily that I'm with holding from him. But, he doesn't mind right?

Anyway, I reply to Peeta, "Thanks. I really appreciate it." I smile at him.

I help Peeta clean up lunch and we work on the memory book a little. He bakes some bread too, and I go and deliver the squirrel I caught earlier to Greasy Sae.

When I return home, Peeta isn't inside. I search the whole house. "Peeta?" I call. All that answers me is silence. I decide he probably went to his home.

I cross over to his house, and open the door. We never really knock anymore, because our doors are usually open. I enter and look around. Everything is eerily quiet. Where is Peeta?

I hear someone shuffling around upstairs and I climb the steps. When I get to the hallway, there's a light coming from Peeta's room. Quietly, I crack open the door and see Peeta with his back to me, on the floor. He's kneeling, head bowed. At first glance, it looks like he's praying, but then I see his shoulders shaking.

I immediately run over next to him, bending down on my knees. I shake Peeta. "Peeta! Snap out of it! I'm here now, it's ok."

Peeta lifts his head and I see his wrists tied up with a shirt around the leg of the dresser we're in front of. He grinds his wrists into the shirt, desperately trying to use pain to distract him. I begin to untie him, but he shakes his head, saying, "No, please. I-" He doesn't get to finish because Peeta shakes violently, then he's fighting the flashbacks. This is a particularly bad one, it seems.

I wrap my arms around Peeta, whispering, "Don't listen to the flashbacks. They're lies. I love you, Peeta. I'd never hurt you."

Peeta eventually calms down as I murmer comforting words to him. I untie him then, and he avoids my eyes.

"What is it, Peeta?"

He shakes his head. "I hate when you have to see me like this, Katniss." I open my mouth to say something, but he continues. "And I love you so much, Katniss, I just want them to stop. I'm tired of it all."

I've never seen Peeta seem so hopeless before. He must really think he doesn't deserve me. Boy, is he wrong.

Sorry I have to stop. I'll continue this scene in the next chapter. Review and tell me what you wanna read. Oh and I wonder if any guys are reading this. Just curious, is all. Thanks!