I appreciate all the great things you have all said about the story. I'm going to be on the road from FL to AZ starting Tuesday, so Im going to try and finish the next chapter by Monday afternoon. After that It will be Friday before I can update next. But I will make the next chapter 13 longer so to make up for that. Enjoy!

(EPOV)

I could feel gentle strokes on my face, I was dreaming. I kept trying to fight the urge to wake up, but then I heard a voice that even death couldn't keep me from. Bella.

She was whispering to me, but I was still in a dream state so the words weren't fully making sensce. I kept my eye's closed and committed myself to hearing what it was she was saying.

As the tender strokes from my temple to jaw continued, so did my concentration. Finally I could now understand what it was she had been saying.

Bella was telling me about what she felt the first time she had met me. I listened now with my eyes still shut about how she was jealous from the moment she looked at me about any woman who had ever been with me. She said that I made her feel brave and drunk with passion. I listened to her explain the way her body ached for mine when we kissed while walking. How my body had made her yearn for release when we made love.

I was aroused to the fullest when I had opened my eyes to her, but then saw she had been silently crying while telling me that. When she saw that I was awake, she dropped her head down to my chest and held on to me.

The sky was still dark so I knew it wasn't near time for my shift yet. I looked to the clock on her side table and saw it was just after 2am. I kissed her forehead gently and then maneuvered so that she was beneath me. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was even, but I knew she wasn't sleeping. I kissed her from her wet jaw back to her eyes while taking her tears into me as I went along.

When her tears had stopped running and there were no more to be collected I spoke.

"Bella...love, look at me baby." I kept my voice low, it was too peaceful a moment for anything more.

She opened her eyes and met my gaze. I just stared into her soul for a moment longer before I kissed her gently on the lips. She kissed me slowly and tenderly as well, but I could feel her pain through the passion, it was just as strong.

I didn't want her to regret what had happend between us, and I had no idea what it had meant to her nor did I know how to ask.

I realized then that when she had confessed her pain earlier that night, she was leading me in the direction I needed to head if I wanted her back.

Bella needed me to be as vulnerable as she felt. If I wasn't then we werent on equal footing and our balance was non existent.

I needed to put myself out on her dizzy edge. She said that she felt as if she were spinning and looking for balance. I needed to be on that edge with her.

I continued kissing her, but the new realisation was clouding my ability to convey my emotions. So I stopped and pulled back from her.

I sat up, pulled her with me and she draped her legs over my hips to be closer. She showed no signs of concern and followed my lead with blind faith. It was one small victory for me while the war still continued.

I gazed into her eyes and held her face as I kissed her one more time on the tip of her nose and began.

"I love you." I took another deep breath and locked her eyes with mine.

"I'm here until you send me away,until you tell me there is no hope and that your only desire is to be free of me....until that moment, I am yours. Even then, I am still yours."

I kissed her lips before she could respond.

Again, I didn't deepen the kiss or seek anything more from her, I let her lead me where she wanted to go.

After a few minutes, Bella pulled back and lay her head on my shoulder. She ran her hands from my chest to my shoulders and down my arms.

Her gentle touch made me shudder with need with each passing circuit, but still I was weary of seeking more.

Instead I settled for rubbing gentle stokes on her thighs and placing small kisses to her forehead.

It felt like eternity as I waited for her to acknowledge my words, but I endured it with patience as I held her to me longer.

"How do we move forward if I cant forget the past." She said it as a statement, not a question. She continued rubbing my body with her dainty hands while waiting for my response.

Suddenly my naive thought of time and counseling sounded ridiculous. I didn't have a realistic answer for her that wasnt filled with my selfish hope of just having her forgive me. I felt defeated all over again.

"It's just that...even with as much as I love you, I don't know how to look at you this way and see past that pain. You had so many opportunities to tell me the truth and you didn't, you didn't trust me to understand or to wait for you until you resolved it. I would have waited..."

If I could do anything different in our past, it would have been that. I wish to every god and spirit that I could take back the decision to lie to her. This lie could very well cost me my future and I willfully had let the words spill from my lips. Nobody had forced me to do it, there was no gun to my head.

No, I made a poor and selfish choice and now Karma had come to collect.

I could feel the ache in my chest that had been sated just hours before come back to the surface. It was such a consuming force that I wasn't sure I would be able to stand if I needed to.

I pulled her to me closer as if she were an anesthetic for my pain and just held on. I wasnt above begging or pleading, I would put it all out there for her.

"Bella, I can't be without you...I lied and I'm so sorry. I have no real reason other than I was affraid you would turn away from me and never let me in. I was selfish and wanted you only for me...I thought I would loose you just as I had found you and that was the driving force behind my betrayal. I just wanted to keep you."

There, not only was I telling her the truth, but she was able to see the extent of my selfishness that consumed me involving all things her.

She was quiet for a while but her gentle caresses continued. After a few more minutes she lifted her head from my chest and kissed my lips. She met my eyes briefly and then stared down at my chest. I braced myself for the pain of her dismissal, but was pulled from the concentration when I felt her begin to gently stoke my length.

"Bella? What are you doing baby?" I couldn't of stopped her if I wanted to at this point but I wasn't sure what her mind set was. My mind was all over the place and I couldn't make heads or tails of any of it.

"I only know that I want you, all of you, the good and the bad, but I just need time. For now I need to feel your love, and the best way to do that is to actually feel your love inside me. I cant explain it...but I can always feel your love when we come together like this."

She pulled her self forward so that my tip was settled between her beautiful bare lips. I shuddered from her warmth and exhaled heavily as I placed my forehead to hers.

"I just want you to feel good, Bella. I dont want you to hurt anymore. You can take from me anything you want as long as it's mine to give. I'll give you all the time you need and anything else you want from me, it's yours."

With that said, she hooked her legs around my back from where they had lay while we spoke and pushed herself onto me. We were in the same position we had been in earlier but somehow this seemed so right for us. I couldn't bring myself to move us from it.

I kissed her with fervor but calmed myself to the tone she was set at.

By some miracle this woman was giving herself to me and I wasn't about to rush it, I wanted to savor every moment of this gift and I did.

We moved together in a rythm that was all our own. I kissed at ever part of her I could find. When I had gotten to every piece of skin that was bare to me, I sought out more.

I began to open the buttons from my shirt on her body and kissed and nipped at everything that was revealed along the way.

When I had undone the final button, Bella tried to shake it off from her shoulders but I stopped her.

I just shook my head no and grabbed the two open sides and pulled her down to my mouth for a searing kiss. She whimpered as I gave her everything I could stir up in my body. I released from her mouth and made my way down her body everytime she would lift up. I caressed her nipples with my tongue and rubbed her back gently.

I could feel her shake and whimper, calling my name as I continued loving on her body with my own. I felt her tighten with each new stroke until she couldnt take anymore and bit down on my shoulder and her walls convulsed around my length.

It triggered my own impending orgasm and I released into her with joy. I was home.

We both just stay in each others arms coming down from our high and enjoying our passion. Eventually Bella broke the silence.

"I know that I can't be without you anymore, just please give me time...."

I could give her time. I could give her anything she desired...anything. I could only nod my head and hold her tighter as I gave her my word.

"I'll earn your trust back if it's the last thing I do." I kissed her firmly and lay her back to rest in my arms.

**************************

When I woke again, it was to the bed shifting in weight. The sky was light grey and the room was quiet. I turned to the bathroom and saw Bella disappear behind the door. I sat up and prepared to fully wake and go to work. I heard the shower going and I assumed Bella was taking one, but then the door opened and she was still in my shirt with only two buttons keeping it together. I smiled to her and she came to my side.

"You need to get up or you'll be late for your shift. I dont know much about hospitals outside of being a patient, but I bet they frown upon that." She had a tender smile for me and continued.

"The shower should be ready for you, so go get in. Come find me when your done, okay?"

I nodded my head and kissed her cheek. I went to the bathroom and saw that she had folded my scrubs and sat them on the counter next to a new toothbrush that looked to be from a dentist visit. I smiled at the gesture and got in.

When I was dressed and ready for the day to begin, I went to find Bella. She was in the kitchen with the music softly playing in the background while standing over the stove. I went to her and wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my cheek against her lovely hair.

"What are you still doing up this early on a Saturday, hmmm?" She rested her head against my chest as she continued with her cooking and just shrugged her shoulders.

"I didn't want you to be hungry when you left so I figured I would just make you some breakfast. Then I realized you probably weren't going to have a lunch either since you didn't go home, so I made you one to take."

The smile on my face must have made me look ridiculous, but I didnt care. The love of my life was standing in my arms, in my shirt and doing what she could to take care of me. I was euphoric.

"You didn't have to do that, Bella. But thank you for wanting to....I really do appreciate it." I kissed her neck and rubbed my nose along her jaw. She shuddered and exhaled in contentment.

I sat at the island with her and ate the omelet she had prepared for us. We both had smiles as we talked about the weekend and what we had planned to do. Bella would be going to brunch with my parents and both Alice and Jasper. They had invited her to go last night at the mixer

I however, was going to be working thirty two hours at the hospital, so I was bummed that I wouldn't be able to at least see her again, even if I would have had to share her attention with my family.

With a final lingering kiss on her lips, I walked out the door to head for the hospital. I had just closed the door behind me when I heard it open again.

Bella, poked her head out the door and her gorgeous hair spilled over with her.

"Hey!" she whispered to me as if in secret.

I turned and the biggest grin came over my face at the sight of her. I walked back and kissed her lips. She pulled back with a wink and handed me a gray thermal pack.

"You forgot your lunch..." I couldn't help but grab her body from behind the door and bring her to me one more time.

If this was to be that last time I would see her until she decided what she wanted, I was going to get as much from this time as I could.

She must have realized that was what I was thinking, and pulled back to see my eyes.

"I just need time...but I don't want to be away from you...can we take it one day at a time? Just see what were feeling day by day?"

Her voice was hopeful and my heart was once again filled with hope.

"Whatever you need, it's yours. You just have to tell me, okay? We will do this whichever way makes you comfortable."

She exhaled and nodded with a smile. I kissed her head and turned to leave with my lunch now in hand.

"Can I call you?" She said a little louder.

"Please do....." We both nodded and I made my way down the hall.