I'm gonna break the 4th wall
(Percy)
What the hell. First my mother, and firewood? 'and that relates how?' Shush Moros, its stress right now. 'Man, when can I put a hand on the wheel? Be in control, rip out some spines?' When its time, its all due in time. Percy was arguing with the demon inside him when a thud hit his head.
"Oof, now what was that exactly?" Percy spoke, as if he did not want to know the answer.
"Umm, would it be ok if it was a tree?" Emma asked, scared of the answer. With no response, she continued "But the tree broke on your head! So nobody got hurt! Yay!"
"Wow Emma, what if I got hurt? Don't you care about me?" Percy fake whimpered. Emma looked like she was about to spontaneously combust with emotion when Zoe commented
"Did it hurt though?"
"No." Percy replied tossing away all emotion. "So, why are we collecting all this wood?" Percy asked.
"We always do this the might before we move to a new campsite! Why?" Thalia chimed in, somewhat far away.
Percy huffed. "Well then! What's the point if we're moving tomorrow? Just why?!"
"We obviously keep most of it. Like tonight, we're only going to use that tree and that's it." Emma said, not seeing any problem.
Percy just threw gibberish out of his mouth. "phfjsdhf, ONLY that tree. Golly, why not all? Oh wait, that tree is already too much! This tree's 15 feet tall! Or well, now it's 15 feet long, but still!"
"Why do you care? It's not like you sit with the hunt anyway." Phoebe remarked.
Percy replied with "I see your point. Why do I care about this? Why do I care about monsters, we all are going to die. Heck, let's just not win any battle, eh?"
Emma said "Woah, now I still want to live longer now, don't get this twisted."
"So? We're going to die at one point, let's make that faster, shall we?" Percy said, convincingly.
"Stop there big boy, you don't mean this right?" Thalia asked, a bit scared.
"No I do, let's hurry the death part up, eh?" Percy said, his plan working. "I'll summon a monster, why not." Percy summoned a hellhound, but unknown to the hunt, this was Mrs. O'Leary. He gave her a wink, and she roared, stampeding towards Emma. The hunters there were in shock, they thought he was bluffing. As O'Leary jumped, she landed on her back, wagging here feat expecting belly rubs, even though the hunt could hardly reach her.
"Praise the Gods! I was so scared." Thalia said.
"I made my point huh? Now, what was my point?" Percy said smugly, yet confused.
"I won't tell you, if you're going to pull another stunt like that." Emma responded.
"No. Don't do it Leary. Don't you fucking dare. Op well you've done it." Percy told the hellhound in a menacing tone. She decided to summon her play mate, which According to cliché is Cerberus. "Do I look like I got a ball? Hmm." Percy asked rhetorically. Meanwhile, the others were cowardly hiding.
"Percy? Y-you know th-that's Cerberus, right?" Phoebe asked. Percy, ignoring this, summoned some titanium and molded it to a ball.
Percy, finally noticing the question, "Hmm? Oh yes, he doesn't get much playtime. I need to play with him more, Mrs. O'Leary plays with him, but she can't be a human, right. I don't see him often. I don't see my mother often. I need to visit her soon." As he drifted into thought.
"HES RUNNING BACK!" Thalia yelled. They all ducked, peeking through their fingers.
"Bad boy! Always return the ball!" Percy berated, effectively winning a tug of war over the ball with the three heads of Cerberus. The group of girls were quite shocked on how Percy was winning. As Percy berated Cerberus, he whimpered.
"Shit, umm, alright. Here, play tug of war with Mrs. O' Leary." Percy said, feeling bad. He smoothly pulled out his Naginata, and used the foot blade on one half to cut the tree in half, and gave the trunk to him and Mrs. O'Leary.
"What?" answering the girls' bewildered faces. "The tree was too big anyway, not like you're going to use all of it, right?"
Thalia shook her head. "Mrs. O'Leary, I remember her. But her chewing on that trunk reminds me of something."
Percy asked "Oh yeah, what?"
"Of how badly I beat you in spar sessions."
Here we fucking go. The fucking cliché 'oh I need to spar with Thalia' Shut up Moros. It's true (A/N He's not wrong.) The author agrees.
"Lemme guess, you wanna fight?" Percy predicted.
"15 minutes, get ready." Thalia answered
The two dogs left, which led to Percy and Moros arguing for 15 minutes on the cliché-ness of the spar I'll bet Artemis will come next. 10 drachma Moros we are the same person, we can't bet against each other. Fuck
"PERCY! Goddamn man we are supposed to have begun." Thalia exclaimed
"Alright, alright, any weapons, but what powers?" Percy asked, having a wide arsenal
"Fine, but uh, all powers, gimme all ya got." She eagerly answered
"Alright." Was her response.
All Percy did was freeze Thalia in time, through 6 frozen tomahawks, again in time, and when he let go, the flew against her, making her helpless and weak.
"You submit?" Percy asked.
"No fair, you cant do that, I want rematch!" Thalia whined. The audience that was gathered were astonished on how in 5 seconds the Lieutenant was taken down. After that short match, the whole hunt gathered, including Artemis (A/N See where I'm going.)
Thalia asked Zoe "Do you got any pointers?"
"I'm not foolish enough to fight him!" Upon her questioning look Zoe continued. "You can take away all of Percy's powers and weapons, hell take an arm, and hell beat all 12 Olympians coming at him at once. No offense, Milady." Zoe addressed that last part to Artemis. Artemis shrugged it off.
Percy (humbly) told her "Yeah fucking right Zoe, you over exaggerate." When she started to argue Percy put ice over her mouth rendering her incapable of doing such a thing. "Now, let's get this over with."
Thalia started off charging with her spear and shield but was deflected by Percy's imperial golden mace. He then jumped over her, far enough where arrows would only come into effect. However, Thalia blasted Lighting at him. At lightning speed Percy jumped and turned horizontally and spun so fast, in which the bolt blasted at Thalia. (A/N To imagine this, take a closed fist in between your hips. Put it at your head and open it horizontally, the open hand represents Percy's body, but a hand can't spin that fast.)
"Do it again, I'll show you how it's done." Percy answered to her face. Thalia did in fact do it again, but all Percy did was lift up one arm and one pointed 2 feet away from her. When the bolt came in ran through the shirt sleeve and out the other.
"Now lets continue." He said. Thalia launched a few arrows at him, and one or two actually stuck. To her surprise, Stop fucking saying bewildered and Surprised and astonished author. IT GETS SO FUCKING REPETITIVE. (Hey man, I've gotta introduce this stuff some how) he pulled them out and continued.
"Seriously? Out of all the things, no one here knew he could heal incredibly fast? I'm disappointed." Zoe stated, the ice melted from her body heat.
On with the show! Percy pulled out Riptide, and Kronos' Scythe. The hunt was indeed fazed, along with Thalia, but wanted to see the fight more. Percy summoned a tidal wave, Outta fucking nowhere! How cool is that! Knocking Thalia over, and threw the scythe so where it bent over her, and held riptide at here head.
"You surrender?" Percy asked.
Thalia answered "Nope!" And tried getting up, but Percy pushed her down, touching her breast by accident. (A/N Percy's gonna get real comfortable with them alright, and I don't think he's looking for a girlfriend.) The audience got upset noticing this. And quite a few were going to go out, but stopped when Zoe said
"If he was going to do something, I lived with him for 500 years. He would of done it then."
"Fine, fine! I submit!" Thalia grudgingly said.
"That wasn't bad, but with your arrows, heart shots are more affective." Percy said, trying to give advice while being humble. And Thalia huffed it off. Seeing other disappointed looks in their Lieutenant, Thalia got hot headed and yelled,
"What! If you think it's that easy you fight him!"
"Thalia, what did I say about your angriness?" Percy told her with a dad look.
Thalia laughed and calmed down, his look and acting was funny for who he was. "Alright I'm sorry."
The audience watched the two bond over just jokes. Emma asked
"Well if our Lieutenat - Lituenat- Thalia! Can't beat him, maybe Art- Lady Artemis can?
Artemis responded with a polite "No, no, we don't need to hand his as- dignity to him on a silver platter now." But that encouraged them to the point where she turned into an 18 year old figure, and stepped up to the challenge. Percy gave her a questioning look, but then asked
"Alright then, any restrictions?"
"None of your time shenanigans." Artemis responded.
"Ok, I see." Percy said, and snapped his fingers. Suddenly the place around them appeared to be a smoldering place, with broken rocks and fires no taller than four feet.
"I killed Perses, and this counts as a destroyed land, so here we are. Or appear to be" Was the answer to the silent question.
"Why didn't you do this when we fought, it would have been cool!" Thalia exclaimed.
"The same reason you don't take a soft bunny to a burning volcano. You'll scare it." Percy said
"Hey! I won't be scared by this, landscape! I'm very tough." Thalia responded.
"Thalia honey, no, no, I toss you 20 feet in the air, you'll come back whiter than my ex-stepdad. Which is to say, whiter than a marshmallow." ALL RIGHT. I get it, you have to do the fucking argument and shit, but are you gonna get on with the goddamn fight?
"Well, um, just hurry up and fight Artemis already!" Thalia said, at a loss for words.
"Alright, come on Artemis." Percy stated, exhausted from the conversation. "Make your move."
Artemis took three arrows from her quiver, knocked them, and shot. Now not aiming to maim, 2 of them got stuck in Percy's stomach. Unfazed, Percy launched at her with his Naginata. (The dojo stick with a foot long blade at the end.) He came at her and Artemis barely was able to deflect each strike, and at the end she had one knife left. She leaped back, attempting to get range, in which she did. Percy got prepared to dodge arrows that never came. Artemis used her hunt powers to summon a wild lion.
"Hey that's no- your fucking powers, I see." Percy noted. He then stared at the lion racing at him, making it turn back whimpering. The hunt was surprised and somewhat scared, as the face Percy made was not nearly as aggressive as it could be. A few moments later, the ground shook. Percy was the only one standing still in the matter, so Artemis concluded, she used her powers and he used his. Percy pulled out his first Tartarus weapon, the old fashion Scythe. Artemis summoned a wild hog, but Percy used the scythe to maneuver the hog back at Artemis, causing her to dodge it. While this happened, Percy threw his Scythe horizontally at Artemis, so when she landed, the scythe (The holding part, mind you,) pierced through the wall, and formed a sharp hook that would cut her if she moved.
"Do you submit?" Percy asked. With no reply, he threw his golden mace right next to her face. (A/N I'm quite the rhymer.)
"So, it was, do you surrender?" Percy asked, in a more, demanding tone. Artemis gave the slightest agreement, which meant her loss. Many hunters look disappointed, but Zoe quickly called them out.
"What? You're disappointed, yet will you fight him?" With no response, " I didn't think so." Zoe finished.
"Well, that makes me ready to start that fire from a while ago, no?" Percy said.
Its me, ya boy. Yeah so expect not to frequent updates, Fourth wall breaking from Moros and Percy, leaving everyone confused. A hell of a lot of cliché-ness. Like duh, I'm gonna have the capture the flag at camp. Yeah he's going to camp. And parts of travelling where Percy gets picked on, by hunters and monsters, and more. So Hate, Reviews, and Constructive Criticism are welcome. See ya!