CHAPTER 11: What Are You Talking About?

Another nightmare visited me tonight.

So, I decided to leave my room for a while and catch some fresh air outside. I tugged on the sleeves of my sweater, pulling it till it covers most of my fingers as well. Well, cold air hit me the moment I stepped outside. I didn't imagine it would be this freezing so I decided not to bring an extra jacket to cover me up.

I need time to clear up my thoughts. Earlier, I just had the most wonderful idea – to entertain Tonouchi's flirtatious gestures, defying whatever command my bastard best friend had texted me. I think it would be a lovely revenge, and I'm curious as to why people do the opposite of what others say. Does it give them any kind of emotional outlet or something? It's my first time to do something quite against my character - or even my will.

I walked slowly down the hall, eyeing the view of the vast, star-filled sky. I have often wondered if ever the universe did have a limit – an end. You see, there has to be because that's the way things work.

"Mikan-chan?"

I turned to see Misaki advancing towards me, holding out a flashlight in one hand. The light it produced made me put a hand over my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, stopping in front me, as she held the flashlight nearer to my face. "It's way past curfew!"

"Well, I can say the same to you," I replied.

"Mine's a different case though," she began, turning off the beam coming out of her flashlight. "I'm on patrol duty."

"Just like Tsubasa-kun?" I was practically shocked. What on earth is happening nowadays?

She started walking down the hall; I immediately thought that she wanted for the two of us to take a stroll. Patrol duty, huh? I wonder how many people have this opportunity. I believe it's more of a punishment rather than a benefit, and I've got two reasons: less sleep and more responsibility. And that doesn't sound good together given that those two words started with 'less' and 'more' respectively.

"Sadly, yes." She heaved a deep sigh as her footsteps became slower. "Unlike him who's enjoying every minute of this duty thing, I feel it as a kind of hefty burden thrown towards me. I blame Tsubasa for this everyday. Won't he just fail Anjo's class? I mean, can't he at least do that?"

Confusion was obviously present on my face. "I don't quite get it, Misaki." I'm not that familiar with Tsubasa's academic standing and all; however, Misaki's almost dumb as I am.

"He always gets an A+ in that fucking English class for all I know. And, with that being his partner, I need to be stuck with him for every task he's assigned to. Doesn't that go the same with you and Hyuuga?" she asked, completely unknowing.

Trying to block that hateful name, I answered, "Now, that I think of it. It does. However, difference is that that guy always turns down every job offered to him." Yes, that's true. Two years ago, he was asked by every teacher to assist them with paperwork or something, but he's lazy to begin with so why bother. I should thank him for that, I know.

"He must know you hate it."

"…"

I do hate it, actually. Whenever I do something, everything goes wrong. I tried growing flowers for the gardening club last year and the soil where I had set my babies (or daffodils) became barren. But, you know, it never occurred to me that he's even considerate of that; I just like to think he's languid as he is.

Even though I was pretty much silent and unresponsive, she continued her rant, "Andou, on the other hand, seems to like making me suffer especially these past few days. He doesn't reject anything at all. Even weird jobs like playing with the pre-school kids every Saturday." She stopped and turned to face me. "Saturday? Can you believe it? It's supposed to be my date day with Sono, and even that is being robbed off me."

"You hate spending time with me that much, huh?" A sudden voice erupted which surely came from the garden. I haven't noticed we've walked about a mile from where we were once. The garden - one of the places that seemed to be part of my midnight escapades. Trees, bushes and flowers lined the perimeter as the moon showered its faint light across it, almost producing some kind of faded photo.

Misaki stopped in her tracks, and I wondered why. Then, I saw Tsubasa standing as he brushed off some dirt on his plaid pants; his eyes gazed pensively at Misaki who seemed to have her fists clenched as her eyes narrowed on him. Quite unusual if you ask me.

"It's not that I hate it," she defended. "It's just that I need to spend some time with Sono too. You know that, Andou. Besides, we've been like buddies since we were little, having me no choice but to always be with you. So cut me some slack, will you?"

Tsubasa snickered and stepped closer to us. He seemed alarmed when he saw me. I had been standing there with Misaki for quite a while, and I don't get why he reacted like he didn't see me at all in the first place. "Uhm. Mikan, why don't you go to your dorm now? It's quite late." It was like he was only seeing Misaki and her only.

I wanted to protest, but the demanding tone he used was very different than what he always used to speak with me. Normally, his voice will be filled with humor, sarcasm and affability. This one – this one is totally staid and… I don't know.

I nodded my head and bid the two of them goodbye. Being the curious person I am, I wanted to listen in their conversation, but I would feel guilty all day long if I overheard something I shouldn't hear.

"You let Mikan go, and now I don't have a girlfriend to –"

Thinking that I must've been out of hearing range, Tsubasa cut her off. "Then why didn't you?" I was about halfway through the hall before I make a left turn towards the dorms. I cannot help myself to want to slow down and listen in.

"Didn't what?" Misaki asked, irritated.

"Be with me… always."

Those were the last words I got to hear as I made a sharp left, hurrying to not hear anymore of their conversation. I don't know but I knew I should not be eavesdropping on that one. Definitely.

A week has passed and a lot of things happened. The whole Tsubasa and Misaki thing was basically dead news. It hasn't been mentioned even once by either of the two. Whenever I see Misaki along the halls, I cannot strike a conversation with her for she was always with Sono-senpai. As for Tsubasa, I haven't seen him all week even if I took my usual midnight strolls.

Yes, a lot of things did happen… and most of it was regarding Akira Tonouchi. He was really being what a girl would want for a guy. Sweet, caring, understanding, patient, partly evil but mostly tolerable – why would I be saying such things?

Well, I guess he earned it. I mean, I call him whatever I want to yet he doesn't seem to be bothered about it. I do not respond when he's talking but he continues to talk despite that. I practically glare at him whenever I see him but he just smiles at me. I throw the most insulting of words I could think of yet he just dismisses them with a wave of the hand. When I'm silent in the corner, he instantly comes over and talks to me and asks me what's wrong. When he does, I tell him to go away and do not bother me but he just changes the topic and makes it funny or something.

You see, what I liked about him is that he isn't pushy with knowing what I think and all. And this does not mean I'm falling for him.

But what I cannot seem to fathom is what I am doing here. I must be insane.

I'm standing in front of Akira Tonouchi – in a desolate environment. It's lunchtime and I'd gathered up the courage to call him out, away from his group of friends who eyed me like they knew that this was eventually bound to happen.

Before we reached this place, Tsubasa passed by as he raised an indiscreet brow and looked at me with much curiosity. As much as I wanted to block his way and let him explain for what happened a week ago between him and Misaki. I deemed that the Tonouchi case was far more important than some petty conversation which I was totally not allowed to hear.

Would harass – two words that kept echoing inside my head.

"So, what you called me out for, Mikan-chan?" He questioned.

Stopping all the nonsensical mumblings that have been continuously going on inside my head, I took a deep breath. Whatever I'm going to say will seriously change my future in this Academy; it will be a big change in my life too. For the reason that, I'm about to violate my principles; I'm about to do one thing I'd never imagine I would be doing.

"Do not be too happy when you hear what I'm going to say right now. Okay?" I glanced at him, and he seemed to be enjoying himself based on that permanent smirk plastered on his face. "You remember your question during our date? I'm finally answering that, and I'm thinking that – that I will regret it sooner or later… but I'm willing to…how should I say this… uhm… go out with you."

There I finally said it.

He stared at me, and silence was definitely present between the two of us. I don't know but he seemed like he was trying to read my thoughts or something.

"What ever changed your mind? You clearly hate me, you know." His eyes met mine, sweeping me off my feet with his red-specked amethyst orbs.

Trying to defend myself, I caught up with some air and positioned my arms across my chest in a proud manner, raising my chin. "I do hate you, but it's worth a try anyways. I have conditions though," I said, recollecting what I've decided earlier with Hotaru who happened to think I was out to have emotional suicide.

Yes, my agreeing to this date condition is definitely going to either save my sorry butt or make the already tough situation worse.

Glancing at him, I continued anyways, "First, we'd be going out for like a two week trial. It's a trial, okay? It's up to you whether you'll cheat or something. I don't effin' care."

"Then, what's the essence of going out with me if you don't care if I have some other fling?" That was true, but I, Mikan Sakura, just find this going

"Well, I don't like you in the first place. So why bother? I'm just out for killing boredom out of my life. Second, you are not allowed to ask whatever reason I have for doing this. Yes, it's personal and all."

He just shrugged and looked at me like he wasn't interested at all. "Whatever. As long as you're going out with me. It just doesn't matter."

He is a conceited womanizer who just doesn't want to be single for the rest of his damn life. I rolled my eyes and continued, "And lastly, I can call you gay for all I want." I sneered, feeling evilness coursing through my veins. I never knew I'd inherit some malevolent trait from my parents. I wonder from which side did it actually come?

His forehead creased and his eyebrows met at the center. He looked puzzled, sucked into deep thought. "It rather sounds like a challenge to me – dating you, that is. It thrills me. You didn't know, right?" He asked, quirking up a teasing brow.

"What?"

"I love challenges… and I never lose – ever," he finished off explicitly with his fulsome air around him.

I'm supposed to be cowering away into the farthest place I could reach – a place Tonouchi couldn't get to; however, valor unexpectedly overcame me, and I blurted out, "Oh yeah? It'll be fun experiencing first time failure. You don't need to worry; I'd make it less painful for your oh-so-manly pride."

I'm a fucking prodigy. Just so you see, ex-best friend, you just don't text me stuff.

"I'm screwed. I wanna die. Give me some pills I can use for suicide."

The entire brave act I pulled earlier instantly left me the moment Tonouchi disappeared down the hallway. I had to grip on the pillar to prevent myself from slumping down the ground due to my trembling knees. Well, the trembling did something good too; it actually prevented me from hitting my head on the wall repeatedly. Given that I'd be too mortified to even take a step inside that teen-filled cafeteria, I trudged along the way to the Clinic where I ended up telling every single thing that has happened to Miss Mio – in exchange for a decent mac and cheese meal. What can I do? I was starving.

She placed her cup of coffee down the table and slightly turned in her seat. She gazed at me like some kind of specimen under a microscope. "You are a hazard to the society with your suicidal tendencies. Mikan-chan," she said as she poked me on my forehead; I winced in pain. "I thought this whole Natsume Hyuuga ordeal had been dealt with accordingly. But why push through the path that would make it even worse?"

"I told you. I was… feeling vengeful, and my brain said it was the… right… thing to do."

"It was the most impulsive and despicable thing to have done under that situation. You know, that text and warning haven't made its way to you. Despite Tonouchi-san being a perfectly fine male specie, it doesn't mean you don't need to be wary of what the people around you are saying."

I admit it was. Now, I feel like I'm the stupidest person on earth. I just know I'm stupid but right now I feel like I'm at the bottom of the heap, trying to claw its way to the top yet with no avail. I buried my face in my hands. "Ohmygod! What should I do?" I practically stopped myself from screaming. My face must've looked really red from that.

"Think and talk to your best friend," she stated firmly.

"Hotaru?"

"No, not her." She took a sip from her cup of coffee. "Natsume."

I gawked at her in disbelief. She just said that as if it was the easiest thing to be done in the whole wide universe. It's quite funny that it was once one of the most casual things I did. Talk to him, that is.

~ I never thought I'd fall in love, love, love, love.

But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush ~

"WHAT THE HELL?" I shouted, startled.

"Mikan, your phone is ringing. Better pick it up. It might be important," she said as she stood up, picked up her cup of coffee and went to the other room.

Okay. Remind me to change my ringing tone later.

I pressed on the button and put my phone on my ear. "Hello, Mikan Sakura speaking."

"Hey, you! You didn't even tell me you decided to go out with Tonouchi-senpai! You lucky, girl! Everyone was in –"

"Sumire, I didn't tell it to you 'cause you'd fuss over it so much that it will be the only thing you'd talk about. You might've been the one who'd tell him."

She would really tell that gay – I mean, Tonouchi – that I'm going to date him. It's already her reflex action to do so. Sumire is definitely not the one to keep secrets.

There was a pause on the other line. "… that's reasonable enough, I guess. But, Mikan! Do you know everyone's talking about you? Really. Even Luna's freaking out. Not only her. Tonouchi-senpai's fans are going wild! They are demanding to see you and find out what Tonouchi-senpai liked about you!"

"Are you kidding me?" I snorted, not buying her.

There was a shuffle on the other end and voices that argued with each other. Then, it grew quiet. They're seriously screwing with me right now. And I just have to remember what Hotaru said before about guys thinking I'm hot and a lot of Koizumi-like girls out to kill me.

"Mikan, she's not joking at all," said a cold, staid voice.

I knew that voice anywhere – Hotaru. With that tone on her voice, it was definitely not a lie. This only means that obviously my life is about to get more chaotic than it already is.

RINGGGGGG!

Oh shit. Lunchtime's over.

I grabbed my bag (still with my phone on), about to sprint towards the door. Then, Miss Mio came in and spotted me with a very troubled expression etched on my face. Regardless of that, she smiled and said, "Mikan, can I give you an advice?"

"What? Didn't you just give me?" I asked back, itching to get out of there to not be late for my class and earn another detention on my already ruined student record.

"You must know that the mess you're experiencing right now is not done by the people around you. It was done by the wrong choices you made. And, dear, this last one is definitely bad."

"Ditto to that," Hotaru said on the other line, making me remember that I was still on the line.

Every teacher throughout the day congratulated me for getting together with Tonouchi. I know, who knew he was popular with the teachers as well? I hate the feeling that every person inside the academy had his or her eyes on you to either hit on you or claw her way to your neck and strangle you.

"It's good to be back in this dorm," I mumbled, resting my head on the couch.

"Idiot, get out of here and go back to your room," Hotaru stated, emerging from the bathroom in her white nightgown.

I sat up and frowned. "Oh c'mon, Hotaru. Those fan girls will kill me while I'm sleeping! Did you see their president? The one called Miyuki Hirata? She had that murderous aura around her whenever I saw her along the hall."

"No, she will not, Mikan. She just hates you, and she does not hate you that much to kill you." She climbed on her bed and wrapped herself up with her blanket. She clapped once and the lights dimmed, enough so that I could sleep.

I cannot sleep with darkness engulfing me, and Hotaru knows that. I just feel lost whenever I cannot see a single source of light anywhere. It's like being stuck somewhere you'll never get out of. Aside from that, I love her lights responding to her gestures like clapping. I had asked her before to install the same thing in my dorm but she told me to pay her an amount I didn't obviously afford. Well, money to Hotaru is what feeds her needs.

There were shuffling sound over where she was. Maybe, she can't sleep and kept moving and tossing around in her bed. "Mikan, I just want you to know that Tonouchi seems suspicious," she suddenly blurted out.

"Suspicious?" I asked, quirking a brow.

She sat up, hugging her knees, and nodded. "Yes, haven't you ever wondered why someone with so much girls swarming around him everyday would settle for you?"

Although it may sound harsh and all, she has a point. Why me? Of all people? He could just turn Sumire's offer down that instant. Yes, that has crossed my mind for a lot of times already.

"You see, I do not mean to offend you, but I had done a little research about him. All his past girls were tall, curvy and gorgeous. I'm not saying that you are not pretty but you are definitely not his type."

Well, I knew that. He's pretty much out of my league too, you know. Why am I always stuck with such guys? I heaved a sigh. "You know, I don't really care. I'm not going to get serious about him anyways."

"Make sure about that, idiot," she murmured. She must be drifting off to dreamland right now and she's near. I smiled awkwardly to myself and closed my eyes with the hope that I did the right thing.

I can't say if I had a good sleep for those fan girls' faces kept floating in my mind the whole time, thinking if they'd really strangle me to death because of what I've decided.

So, I'm on my way now to Serina-sensei's class. Walking down this hall has never been this suffocating. Eyes pinned me down and followed my every move. Seriously, it feels like I'm dating some hot movie star or a famous rock star. Taking a little detour, I decided to take the less crowded halls. Although some people still stared at me, it was better than having a lot of them in number. Less is always better in this case.

"Dude, I can't, okay?"

It's coming from one of those rooms with authorized personnel sign on it. Curious, I leaned on the door to hear more of the conversation. Yes, I have a bad habit to be inquisitive with things I am not even supposed to be dealing with. Usually, I can control it; however, this person used a totally pissed off tone, anxious or something.

"I told you… Yes! I promised but I can't – dude, c'mon. I can't keep doing this."

This is getting interesting. Is this some sort of Yaoi thing unknown to the school administration? Okay. That sounded all too perverted off me. I mean, why did I even think of that?

I lightly bumped my head to clear my thoughts.

"It's not my problem if he's after her. It's yours. You're asking me why? You know why! I –"

Silence enveloped the area. Then, a sound of fists coming in contact with concrete wall came. Ouch much?

"Listen to me! For once, okay? I like her! I don't care if she has a boyfriend now. You know, I was mistaken. She really is the one, and I can't keep my promise to you. I can't, Natsume. I simply can't."

Wait. Did this guy just say, Natsume?

As in, Natsume Hyuuga?

"Bye. I'm going to take care of my problems first."

Too stunned to even move, I almost fell back when the door opened. My eyes travelled from his feet and, slowly, to his face. That's when bewilderment caught me.

"Mi-mi-mikan?" He said, stuttering, as he tried to compose himself by smiling his usual affable grin. "What are you doing here? C'mon, you're going to be late and –"

"Ne, Tsubasa, why… why are you talking with Natsume? Wait. I mean… what are you two talking about?" I asked, staring straight at him.

Those feelings I thought had disappeared came rushing back to me again. I know they're friends and they talk to each other about things; however, what I just heard I just know they're hiding something from me, and I can't simply ignore that.

Yo! Update here!

So, did you like it? I had planned to change a little bit of what I've originally thought on how this story would proceed.

I know the flow's a lil' bit slow, but from here on, it will have a fast pace already.

Yes, I left a cliffhanger. Might update on Thursday or Friday. :D

Tell me your thoughts!

Review! :)

anim3gurl; shimahiko4ever; Xyrhyn: Thanks you guys! Yes, I'd need all the luck I can get for that.

Mid-Summer Romance: Nice idea there! :)) Never thought of a rape scene. But, yes, maybe I'll put some pounding scenes in the next chapter? HAHA. Thanks again!

spica14: Hey! Thanks for the review! :) Uhm. You got that one, huh? Yes, maybe? I guess the story has some connection. Awww. Thanks for that again.

The Faded Smile: Yes, she is. :)))

hannaxsweetheart; MeliRockStarNinja; Cheerysmile: Thanks for the review, guys! :)

KyokoKoizumi: Oh yes, there's not much of Natsume in this fic for I had him running away to US and stuff. XD Don't worry. The next chapter will definitely have him in it. Yes, it's a NatsuMikan fic. And I guess your question about Tsubasa and Misaki was just answered in this chapter although it may appear vague and all. Thanks for being curious about my story! :) And for the review as well!

Kookie: Oh wow. I'm one lazy author indeed; I can't argue that. I can take your review and all; however, you didn't need to call me asshole. That was insulting - that part only though. My updating with months and even a year of interval has reasons. I don't need to explain it again. Thanks for reviewing btw.

7 MAY 2011

10:35 PM

(: nineprincess :)