Author's note: Woot, 100 reviews! Love you all, of course, and I would especially like to thank my beta, Maria Overlook (go read her stuff) and hhfanx2 for being such a consistently inspiring reviewer. (And she writes good one-shots) Anyways, I'm sorry about the complications with chapter 11. If you haven't read the re-post of it, I suggest you do, because otherwise, you will be missing quite a bit.

Disclaimer: I am not on vacation at the moment, therefore I don't own Harry Potter.

.s.c.

Lily stayed inside, pondering their meeting for what seemed like a long time. It was a complicated thing, really, the way that he could make her feel, and yet, she still wanted to make herself hate him. It was utterly impossible to explain, and the redhead could tell already that the way he acted drove her crazy – just not in the way that it used to. "James." She liked the way his name slid easily off the tip of her tongue, the way his face came easily to the front of her mind.

Then there was the way he had made her feel, just being in the room. He had more tact than she remembered. But what would have happened if he hadn't stopped them? Would she have? The Head Girl forced herself to stop the thought there. She'd cross that bridge if she ever came to it – after all, Potter seemed to be extremely loyal to Cadwen at the moment. Maybe she had been wrong about him. Maybe he treated people as if they would be the one he would end up with. Maybe he wasn't the type of guy she had cast him as – maybe he wasn't the type of guy to let go once he had gotten the girl. But what if she couldn't stop herself from doing anything she didn't want to do? What if she didn't really want to sleep with him? After all, that seemed to be all that James Potter wanted from her. But it was Potter who had stopped them. Maybe he didn't want to go any further. Maybe they were just friends. A small smile came across her features, as she flopped back onto the couch.

.s.c.

The dream. It was that familiar, warm night, and she was back in her bed at home. The sheets were wrapped casually around her thin frame, and she was smiling. The door creaked open, letting in a little light across the floor, and a shadow moved towards her. "Who's there?" she asked, knowing all the while that it was Potter.

"It's me, baby," he answered, discarding his cloak as he moved across her bedroom floor. She sat up, her eyes twinkling at him as he walked towards the bed. When he was right beside it, he stopped, staring down at her. She wasn't going to let him stand there, though.

Lily gripped his hands and pulled him down onto the bed beside her, allowing her hands to run up his muscular arms to his shoulders. "James?" He stared harder into her eyes. "Isn't it a little late? It's way past my bedtime."

He only laughed softly in reply. "Unfortunately, I doubt that you'll be getting to sleep for a while." He reached around to the back of her neck, feeling her pulse against his hand as they leaned closer. She could feel her heart racing as their lips met. The pain of being with him, of loving- wait, loving? No. Well, her heart hurt.

"Mm…" she answered, wrapping arms around him as she leaned closer to him – she couldn't get close enough to this James H. Potter. Before she knew it, her fingers were on his shirt, working at the buttons, and his hands had migrated to her hips, just as they had earlier.

He brought her deeper into each kiss now. "Lily… I love--"

.s.c.

Love? Love what? What was it that James Potter loved? Why did this stupid dream have to stop at the worst times? She sat up on the couch, unwilling to stay in the room by herself any longer. She would go find him, tell him exactly how she felt about him, what Cadwen was doing to him – everything. And they would get together, and everyone would live happily ever after. Well, except for maybe Cadwen, but Lily didn't exactly care about how she felt about any of this after what she had done to the Head Girl. When she left the Head's meeting room, though, the scene that met her was anything but what she had expected to see.

James and Snape had their wands raised at each other, attempting to stare the other down. Snape said something inaudible to James, his eyes flickering calculatingly towards the redhead. The Head Boy over reacted – that was what it seemed like to Lily, at least. He raised his wand higher and shouted a hex. "Sectumsempra!" Snape collapsed, and James turned angrily away, never even thinking to keep the Slytherin from dying.

"No!" Lily shouted, running forward. She caught Potter's apologetic look, but never gave him the chance to explain the situation to her. "Potter, you idiot! I thought you were different!" She kicked him sharply in the shin before she was able to flee in the opposite direction.

As Potter watched her go, he felt a stone drop into the pit of his stomach. He hadn't meant for things to work out like this. He had used dark magic. He had used dark magic. The Gryffindor couldn't get it out of his mind, at least until a cold hand dropped onto his shoulder. He turned to see an extremely angry Professor McGonnagal, but, oddly, he didn't really care what she did to him. It didn't matter any more – Lily hated him. "Your wand, Mr. Potter?" the Professor requested quietly, and Potter gave up the swishy willow wand without resistance. The amount of trouble he was in was finally hitting the boy; he shouldn't have been worried about his parents, or even about Dumbledore. No, he should have been occupied with not getting arrested. However, all James Potter could think about was the look on Lily's face. And it would be the last time he saw her.

.s.c.

Sirius Black was walking back from Transfiguration class when he collided with a small, wiry object. The object fell to the ground from the impact, and Sirius found himself crouching down beside a distressed Lily Marie Evans. "Lily?" He whispered, hoping to coax whatever the matter was out of her. She didn't answer, but gladly took the hand he offered her. However, it seemed, now that she was with Sirius, she would have to stay that way. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, alright? James is just a stupid asshole. I honestly thought for a moment that he might be an okay guy, but as usual, I'm wrong." The redhead sighed, suddenly feeling tired. "I'm always wrong about guys. Look at Amos Diggory. I thought he was nice. And Gilderoy. Asshole."

"That's not so bad," Sirius answered quietly, hoping to find out exactly what had gone wrong with James. "So… what makes James a stupid asshole? He seemed so much more like a son of a bitch to me."

Lily laughed weakly, leaning against the Gryffindor for support. "It's a long story," she said finally, not really wishing to explain what had gone on in the Heads' meeting room. However, before she could stop Sirius, he was leading her into an empty classroom.

"We have plenty of time."

"You're really determined to find out what he did, aren't you?" the girl questioned. He nodded in response. "Alright, fine. I was skipping Transfiguration… You know, just shut up about that," she added, before he could say anything else. "And I was in the Heads' Meeting Room. You didn't see the banner, did you?" Sirius nodded. "Well, I was upset, okay? And then James came in, and he sorta made it seem okay. And then… I don't know. We… we uh… kissed. Snogged, really." She said it in a nonchalant voice, as if it was no big deal to her, but in reality, it had met quite a bit. The redhead had to swallow the knot that was growing in her throat before she could continue. "So anyways, he left, and I fell asleep, and then I woke up, and I left, and there he was, standing outside the room, hexing Snape. And it looked bad. Sirius, he's a murderer. I hate him." It was only now that Lily started crying – she could no longer hold off the tears.

Black's jaw dropped. "He's a what?" He didn't wait for the answer before setting off to find Potter.

.s.c.

James was surprised at how easily he had gotten off – but then, all the Slytherins who had attacked him had remained at school. He did, however, have detention every night for the next two weeks. That was nothing new to James Potter, though. He took this punishment without complaint. Seventy Points had also been taken from Gryffindor. Hardly anyone within the house was speaking to him, so the Seeker had basically ignored everyone. He studied in the Heads' meeting room (after making sure that Lily wasn't there), and only ventured outside for Quidditch Practice. But the thing was, Potter wasn't even sure he wanted to play Quidditch any more. It didn't matter, knowing not only that Lily hated him, but why. He had almost killed a student.

The next morning at breakfast, a very subdued James Potter bent over his cereal, ignoring the angry glares he was receiving from the majority of the house, as well as the looks of pity he was getting from his friends and fan club. Then the post arrived. He should have expected the howler – of course his parents had been informed that he had nearly killed a student. But the Head Boy certainly did not expect it to be this bad. Bracing himself, James raced to open the letter, shutting his eyes as the voices of Elizabeth and Thomas Potter filled the room.

"How could you do something this horrible? You bring shame upon the family! This is not what we raised you to act like!" The shouts did not die down for quite a while, and James looked like he might have just run ten miles (minus the sweat) when they eventually did. The Slytherin table was engulfed in laughter, and the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were stealing furtive glances at the Gryffindor table. The Gryffindors were glaring more angrily (if possible) at Potter, and Lily Evans was calmly watching the Head Boy, waiting for the mental breakdown. He had stopped eating, instead just simply staring into his bowl of cereal, his jaw clenched shut. His left elbow was resting on the table, and his eyes were shut. A single tear leaked out from behind one eye, but he was quick to wipe it away. Lily couldn't be sure if anyone else had seen it.

.s.c.

Today was quite possibly the worst day of James Potter's life – he just didn't know it yet. He walked into the common room after detention feeling somewhat better about himself than he had that morning. However, that was about to change very quickly, and there was one person who could make his self-esteem drop like a rock. It wasn't either of his parents. It wasn't Dumbledore. It wasn't even Lily M. Evans.

Cadwen O'Brien made a point to ignore James as he walked in – he should have to work a little harder for her affections, especially after that little stunt of his. The Seeker, however, didn't seem so keen to talk to her. It was the opposite of what should have happened. Instead, he had flopped across a couch. Well, then she'd just have to go talk to him, make the first move. Evans beat her to it. "Potter."

"What?" he asked, exasperated, never even shifting his position on the couch as he answered.

"I want to talk to you."

"Talk away."

"Incendio," she answered, and he jumped up off the couch with extreme speed as he felt the heat.

"What?" It was less friendly now, and his eyes were narrowed as he met hers. He knew exactly what this was about, and he wasn't in the mood to get lectured on beating up someone who obviously deserved it. Besides, it was really Snape's fault, anyways. He had provoked it.

"I am very disappointed in your actions in the past few days. It seems to me that you don't care how much they punish you, and I don't like it. Nor do I approve of the fact that you nearly killed someone!" He winced at her words as she circled him, like a vulture circling its prey. After allowing this time to sink in, Lily continued, "and I certainly don't approve of what happened before hand. If I had known what you're really like…" Her voice drifted off into nothing.

James suddenly felt the need to stop this before it went too far. "Lily, can we talk about this later? Elsewhere? I don't need the whole common room to know the ins and outs of my social life," he hissed, nodding towards Cadwen. "Or are you jealous? Trying to make me miserable? Well, guess what? You've already managed to do that." He turned to leave, but she grabbed his hands. Her grip was surprisingly strong.

"I'm not jealous of anyone who is that much of a slut," Lily answered angrily, her arms crossed across her chest. He could have hit her for insulting Cadwen like that – she was jealous, and he didn't want to put up with all her childish ideas that everything would always go her way. She continued before he could tell her this, though. "Look, I know that hex must hurt. A lot. But… James, just because he did it to you…" She stopped, too angry to continue. When she finally did, the grief in her voice was clear. "Look, I don't know what's wrong with you! One second, you're about to screw me, and I would have, too!" James winced at this bit of information, knowing that Cadwen was standing just on the other side of the common room. "And then you're getting your stupid revenge for no reason! I can't believe it!"

"I was never gonna screw you, Lily," he whispered, fists clenching and unclenching slowly. "And my revenge had a very good reason. You don't understand, though, and I can't really expect you to. It's not about physical pain. Besides, it's not you'll accept anything I say. You think I'm a liar. You think I'm stupid. You think that I'm the kind of guy who'll give up on anything. But I don't give up, Evans." Why was he telling her this? "Just get out of my face."

She nodded, and walked away, not protesting what he had said. Did she think that? Well, James was obviously a liar. How many times had they been walking down the halls and had him tell her that he was sure they'd end up together? And then, seventh year, everything had changed. He had forgotten about her. But she had asked him to. And likely, he hadn't really forgotten about her, judging by the way he had kissed her the afternoon before. She flopped across the couch where he had been sitting moments before, as Cadwen made her way towards the Seeker, who was simply standing there, looking impossibly desperate. Maybe she should have talked to him somewhere more private.

"So, James, when did you plan to tell me you were cheating on me?" Cadwen inquired innocently, a forcedly pleasant expression on her face.

James took a step back, as if confused by the accusations. This was all Lily's fault. If only she hadn't decided to interrogate him now – or whatever she had been doing. He couldn't keep doing this – choosing between them, dealing with Cadwen's jealousy issues, the odd feeling that had been plaguing him ever since he had slept with her. "I didn't… I mean, I haven't been cheating on you. Please, you've gotta believe me."

"How can I believe you, James?" Cadwen asked quietly, false tears forming in her eyes. "You're like she says, you're a liar. I never should have gone out with you. James, how on earth can you stand to do this to me?"

"Do what to you? Cadwen, please, I can explain. I swear that I've never cheated on you, and I'd never do anything like that." He could feel every eye in the common room watching them, and his face paled even further than it had previously. "Nothing happened between Lil- Evans and me," he lied. "I don't love her." Another lie. "I love you." How much was he going to have to perjure himself in order to stay with this girl? Still, not getting hurt remained his top priority at the moment. "Please, you've gotta believe me," he continued, desperate now, his fingers entwining with hers.

She pulled away. "And if I don't?"

"I've taken enough shit from you already, Cadwen. I don't need this kind of thing. Both you and I know that I'd never do something like that to anyone," James continued in earnest. "C'mon, don't hurt me like this."

"You're the one who's hurt me."

He saw a glint of amusement in her eye. "You know, Cadwen, I'm beginning to think that this is all an act on your part. I loved you – I still do." So maybe he was fooling himself. But only a little bit. "I want this to work, but you know, when you really love someone, you'll do anything to avoid hurting them if you can. People don't hurt people that they love." He lowered his voice. "They don't guilt them into having sex." His voice returned to a normal level, now that everyone else seemed bored with the argument. "I haven't done anything wrong, and I'm sick of being your toy, or whatever you pegged me as. I don't fit under one label, and I'm not going to try to be the perfect boyfriend you want. I've tried my best, and if you can't believe me when I say that I haven't done anything, then that's your problem." His voice was breaking, and he turned away, heading blindly towards the spot where he knew the stairs to his dormitory were.

Still on the couch, Lily whispered a single word to herself. "Liar."

.s.c.

AN: Review for me, everyone, and let me know what you thought of the spat. I had sooo much trouble with it, but I thought it was time to start showing the cracks in Cadwen and James' relationship.