A/N So this is a chapter is a bit different because it's actually going to be based on a Wren/Spencer moment. Specifically the moment between them in the hospital in 2x23, but it's really based on their whole story. Obviously that moment is pretty relevant to the Spoby story though so it all comes full circle. It's based on the song Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova which I would recommed listening to while you read this. Or any time. Because it's great.

Also, I really like this chapter, like a lot. So lots of reviews would just be the best. So yeah... Enjoy!

I don't know you but I want you all the more for that.

She could remember the first time they met. The way his eyes had flashed between her and Melissa. The way he had introduced himself as if he really wanted to know her. The way that he seemed to actually show concern for her feelings.

She hadn't known him at all at that moment, but something had pulled her towards him. Something mysterious. Something forbidden. Something kind.

But in a second that something had flown away.

Words fall through me and always fool me and I can't react

When he had kissed her, that first time, she had been gone. Looking back the memory was a blur as if she had blacked it out of her mind. The kiss itself was completely gone. All she could remember were her words.

"We can't. It's not- It's not right."

And games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out.

And so he had left, left to be what he was meant to be. A passing moment in her life. Another battle in the war between her and her sister. A game that in some ways she was ashamed that she had played and in others she held very dearly.

But the truth was that he was never meant to be more than that. A passing ship. So when he had come back, after all those months, things hadn't been the same.

Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time.

Because her heart had belonged to someone else at that point. Someone incredibly different than her sister's fiance, but just as forbidden. And in that moment, after she had asked him for help and he had given it to her she still couldn't bring herself to allow herself to go there. To betray the perfect thing that she had.

It had been the first time that she had not questioned her own judgement.

Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice. You've made it known.

And so she hadn't chosen him. She would never be able to articulate why. Her reasons for not betraying the carpenter for the doctor were beyond the scope of words, beyond the scope of feelings even. It had been something very deep inside of her, something that she was barely aware of that had given her the strength to say no. An subconcious choice.

Because true love was often subconcious.

Falling slowly, eyes that know me, and I can't go back

But if she tried to articulate it the best that she could say was that she couldn't go back. The unfamiliarity of Wren was gone now, replaced by the familiarity of Toby. Replaced by someone who knew her mind, heart, and soul.

And not just someone who thought he could understand.

The moods that take me and erase me and I'm painted black.

But things had changed, as they always did with her. But this time it wasn't her own personal demons which turned her destructive, but an outside force. And then another outside force, and another. A, her father, Melissa. It all added up inside her. And then Toby had left, and Aria had lied. And she was facing her own personal demons once again.

And when she faced those demons she tended to revert back to her old self.

Her old self who had looked into those unfamiliar eyes with admiration and trust.

Her old self who was willing to betray those closest for a moment of comfort.

And she had made a mistake.

And you have suffered enough and warred with yourself. It's time that you won.

"Do you want to agree that certain things between us never happened?"

After everything terrible that had happened it was this question that made her lift her head. It was this question that made her realize the scope of everything, of what she'd done, of what she hadn't done, and of the situation that she was in. But it was also the question that made her realize that sometimes there were people in your life who were there for a reason, and when that reason passed it was time to let go. But that didn't mean that you forgot about what they had given you.

It was the first moment in a long time that she had been able to think with clarity. That she had finally seen that maybe, just maybe, somewhere down the line she would be able to both atone for her mistakes, and allow others to atone for the mistakes that had affect her.

"No. I wouldn't take any of it back."

Take this sinking boat, and turn it home, we've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you've made it known.

She could not blame Toby for hating her, but she also couldn't blame herself for making him hate her. Because she was not the same girl that she had been when she had first met Wren, and the two people who had changed her were in the same hospital.

Wren, who had made her feel like she had worth.

Toby, who had connected with the very center of her soul.

But there was only room for one of them. And at that moment it was crystal clear which one she needed, which one she wanted, which one she loved.

Falling slowly, sing your melody. I will sing along. I paid the cost too late. Now you're gone.

She loved the one who, at this moment, was heartbroken by her lies. Who might never come back.

The carpenter.