december 30th ... yeah...almost new years there. yeah best plan ever! Herbert is from family guy, u know,that pervy old man who likes chris. DIsclaimer..I WOULD NEVER Gaara bash ever. therE are NO hints of Kankukiba.

Naruto, after not being able to think about anything else but his hallucination, went to Jiraiya to talk about it. "Yeah, you were probably hallucinating." Naruto looked disapointed. "But all of the things you hallucinated were based on fact." Naruto's face lit up.

"So they were seriously my parents?" He asked..

"Basically." Now Naruto's face looked yet again confused.

"What the hell? If you knew that, why didn't you tell me?!?!"

"I wanted to but, someone was blackmailing to kill me if I did. "

"Who?!? Tsunade baa-chan?"

"No..." Jiraiya pointed behind Naruto. "That!" Behind him, was an old man in a blue bathrobe and a walker.

"What?!? He doesn't look harmful. He's probably lost." It was Naruto's mistake of trying to help him by grabbing him.

"You got a mighty fine grip muscly arms." The old pervert said, then did his classic weird moan thing.

"Um..thanks..." Naruto said, then freaked out and backed away from him. "What the hell old man!? You just grabbed my ass!" But he just did his weird moan thing again. Then out of no where, Orochimaru came.

"I like your style old man." He said all , snake like. "Wanna join me?"

"Hm..I don't know..."

"Um...I have an army of little boys." Orochimaru stated, though it wouldn't be a suprise if he did.

"OH HELLZ YES." Herbert said and rode on an ostrich to Orochimaru's secret lair.

Jiraiya was glad that was over. " I meant the thing behind the pedophile. " He said matter-of-facty. And behind Herbert, after all, was a giant Wizard of Oz head...only it was completly made out of mayonaise.

"How did I not see that?" Naruto fell over...then got his self up.

"Jiraiya...you have disobeyed my wishes." It said scornfully. "Now face the consequences of my condiment based wrath!"

"Um...Ero-Senin...I'm gonna go write my assignment...Good Luck with your problem though!" Naruto left very rapidly, leaving Jiraiya to deal with the Wizard of Goz...yeah..

Speaking of his assignment, Naruto was looking at the paper, wondering who to write to. "Hm...should I write to the creator of Ramen for giving me happiness all these years?" Then, his brain went all...scholarish. "Well, now that I think about it, my continuous Ramen indulging has just been a way to avoid the mental pain inside of my own soul. " Then he shook his head. "Nah. I think she just wanted us to write to a person."

"That may have been the most philisophical thing I have ever heard you say." There was someone in his house. But not just anyone, but a certain boy with deep red hair and a tatoo of death on his fourhead.

"Gaara?! How long have you been standing there?!" Naruto was confused.

"Your front door was open."

"No it wasn't. Or was it? GAH!!!!!" He grabbed his hair and banged his head against the nearest wall.

"Calm down." He wasn't calming down. "Naruto..." Naruto was going nutsy kukoo. "NARUTO , CONTROL YOURSELF!!" Gaara grabbed the blonde and slapped him across the face. Naruto finally calmed down.

"Thanks. I needed that. It's just that alot has happened to me."

"Tell me. I need to practice being compassionate." So Naruto explained everything that had happened in the past 5 days. Gaara just listened.

"So, that's it." Naruto finished, leaving Gaara wide-eyed.

"Damn that's a lot of mayonaise..."

" I know, right?"

"I've noticed a trend in your story, besides the mayonaise."

"What?!?"

"The girl." Gaara bluntly said.

"Hina-chan?" Naruto said doubtly. "Why would she be my problem?"

"Well, this is the first time you guys have actually hung out. And you don't know how to handle it because she makes you feel fuzzy."

"Woah. I don't know about fuzzy." he looked at the clock. It was getting late and he hadn't written a thing. "By the way, Gaara. What were you doing in my house in the first place." For the first time ever, a slight ping of fear came to his mind. He brought Naruto to the window.

"To avoid ...them." Hundreds of girls were holding signs and saying things like, "OMG WE LUV U GAARA- KUN!!!!" and "HAVE OUR BABIES!" and stuff normal gaara fangirls would say.

"Damn...that's even more than Sasuke had."

"Plus, I got bored. Kankuro has been doing whatever with Inuzuka Kiba, playing with puppy puppets and Temari has been hanging out with that Shikamaru guy...A lot...Ooh. Maybe I should spy on them."

"OOoh. Can I come?" He asked.

"No, you have a paper to write."

"Damn."

"Goodbye Uzumaki Naruto." Then, braced himself to face the fangirls as he left all badass-like.

Naruto was all alone again and he was thinking about what Gaara had said. "Why would he think that Hina-chan makes me feel fuzzy? I mean, she's my friend...with pretty eyes, a pretty smile, the cutest laugh ever, soft hands." It was happening. He was feeling...fuzzy...like the sun was using its rays as hands to carress him. Then it hit him. He began to write.
OMG we're allmost done!!