A/N: Good Goddess, it's been a long time. As always, hope you enjoy and review.
Revised: March 2015
Night had fallen. It was quiet and serene for most of Pulse. The air had cooled considerably as the harsh heat of day retired with the sun. The moon shone down brightly and the stars were visible with brilliant clarity. If he hadn't been in such a mad rush, Hope would have stood and watched the sky for hours admiring the beautiful scene.
Hope's heavy breathing and thudding heartbeat were all he could hear as he approached Academia. He was so close and with the proximity, he felt his body giving. The gashes and bruises felt larger than ever, his sore muscles now ached and burned, sweat poured down his body as his legs pumped beneath him, and Zalera's weight was getting to him now too.
Concern for her weighed heavily on the young man's mind as well. She had lost consciousness long ago and he couldn't help the dread that filled him as he thought that he might not be fast enough. He could still feel her slow heart beat and her ragged breath on his shoulder and chest, so he knew she was still alive. But for how much longer?
As they grew closer and closer to his home, the silveret smirked. They were coming up on one of the hangars in the Calvary base. There should be soldiers to assist once he got there and the hospital wasn't far from them. Just a little farther and I'll be home. His pace picked up slightly at the thought.
Two soldiers stood guard on the perimeter of Academia that Hope was closing in on. As soon as they saw and heard the approaching man, they drew their weapons. They threw worried and confused glances at each other, wondering how to engage this situation. Approaching monsters was one thing, a thing they could handle. But a person? They could simply be in distress and require assistance or they could be a disguised threat. As the man drew closer, the soldiers tightened their grips on their weapons.
"Halt, identify yourself. What business do you have here", shouted the tense soldier.
Hope tried to yell and run, but his lack of air hardly allowed him to even press forward, let alone speak. "I'm... someone, help... please? It's the... I'm t...th...the..."
When he came within fifteen feet in front of them, one soldier noticed not only his aura of utter exhaustion, the many wounds that marred his body, and the fact that he was tightly holding an unconscious woman, but that he was, none other than, the director. The soldier, a seasoned one at that, that had spoken earlier immediately lowered his weapon at the realization.
This elicited a hiss from his fellow officer beside him. "What are you-"
The older, more experienced man then pushed the other's gun harshly down and towards the ground. "Are you blind or just that much of a rookie? Call in. That's the director, you idjit." He then ran towards the young man.
"The director? As in the missing Director Estheim?" Before he could make himself look like anymore of a fool, he took out his comm and called in.
As the guard reached him, Hope's knees gave leading him to kneel, Zalera still tightly gripped against him. His head bowed while he allowed himself to catch his breath. He knew he needed to tell the soldier, who was now crouched beside him, what was going on, but his head was far too fogged. His mind was enraptured in his aches and pains, his worry for Zalera and the fact that he could feel her blood trickling down his stomach, but mostly by the pure joy in knowing that he was home. Hope felt a heavy deadness inside him being parried by the blossoming lightness of life coursing back through his body. I'm home. Home...
"Director", repeated the soldier. He carefully, yet firmly placed his hand on the young man's shoulder, stirring him from his thoughts and bringing him back into reality.
Hope's eyes finally met with the man beside him. "Please, she... needs help", Hope whispered breathily.
"Of course. A med team is on its way." The guard carefully extracted the unconscious woman from his grip and stood.
The only way he'd managed to get as far as he had, was with Zalera in his arms reminding Hope to stay strong and alive for her - to make sure he saved her. Without that, his strength dwindled. Still, he stood alongside the soldier carrying the young Guardian. After a few steps, however, he felt the deadness rise within him once more. He felt an arm snake under his and attempt to help him up. The other soldier came up beside him and Hope continued with his support.
The twenty year old private sent a glance of pity toward the director's bruised, cut up and battered face. "Careful there, Director. You need some assistance as well."
"Sazh, your chocobo is shedding all over the equipment", grumbled Maqui as he stood. Maqui was up late, as he had been most nights, working on a ship that he had already fixed. Ever since the incident, Maqui hadn't slept much at all. His constant tinkering turning from habit, to a sort of coping mechanism. He couldn't help the nightmares that had followed his encounter with the l'Cie. Night after night, lost in the terrors of his slumber, he'd feel the beatings over and over again until he couldn't take it. Then, the dreams would morph. They would change from his own horrifying experience to that of his friends'. Knowing what the creeps were capable of, just made him imagine all of the things his captured friends could be going through. And he knew Hope was getting the worst of it.
Sazh, who had become concerned for the young man and his health, decided to stop by on his walk with his feathered friend. Seeing the kid lost in a bed of wires was no surprise to him.
Maqui gave the man a glare, but it quickly faltered when the object of his annoyance nuzzled his chest. Trying hard not to laugh, the mechanic smiled and pet the chocobo on the head, listening to the bird's soft sounds of contentment.
Sazh smirked at the two. "Don't be such a grump. That's reserved for old men like me." I'm glad I brought her. She can cheer anyone up.
The kid sighed. "How many times do we have to say it?" Sazh rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what he was referring to. "Quit talking like you're a hundred."
"Really now? Then why did someone happen to give me a cane and a bag of adult diapers for my birthday?" The man shoved him playfully and shook his head, remembering the rounds of hysterical laughter that had followed after unwrapping Maqui's 'present'.
"It was a joke because you always act like you're older than the Maker." They both laughed as they stroked the large bird's neck. "I can't wait until you finally name her. I'm kinda tired of calling her 'the chocobo'."
Sazh's expression turned pained for a millisecond before softening. "That right is reserved for Dajh... when he gets out of stasis." That last part came out as a whisper. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't disappointed that it had been Lightning that had woken up. It wasn't that he didn't want her awake, he wanted to see all of them - have them all back in reality, enjoying the lives they deserve and remaining close with him. Even Serah, who he didn't know in the least, but from the stories he heard from Snow, he knew she was a wonderful girl. But he had been waiting for two years to see his son, milling through a life that had seemed meaningless without him. Unknown to most, Sazh had gone through multiple bouts of depression. Hope was always there to help him out, constantly checking in on him on his scarce times off of work. Even choosing to pop in over getting some well deserved rest. And now he... Sazh brought his hand over his face as he dispelled his thoughts. Having only succeeded in sending himself into an even darker corridor, he realized he needed to leave that hall completely.
Realizing the slip of stupidity and carelessness, Maqui looked to his shoes. "S-sorry, S-"
"Aw, don't be." His smile was bright and charismatic as ever. "It's no problem kid." The man slung an arm over his companion's shoulders, shaking him a bit. As he went to say something else, he was interrupted by the side door to the hangar swinging open and banging harshly against the wall, a loud metal clang resonating throughout the building.
The two looked to the guard, who they knew as Sergeant Larinx, with curiosity as they saw a woman in horrible shape draped in his arms. Those looks quickly turned to an odd mixture of happiness and unbelievability as they saw those following through the door.
"Hope!" Maqui bolted from his spot toward their long lost friend, Sazh running after. They both took positions at Hope's sides to help keep him standing. The private nodded toward the two and went over to the sergeant's side as he laid the girl on an empty workbench.
Sergeant Larinx put a hand to her clammy forehead and sighed. He then turned to address the others. "The director came up running at us with this woman all torn up. A med team is on its way. It should arrive shortly."
Sazh nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to the young man beside him. He was shocked and horrified at Hope's condition. It seemed that every torturous pain you could ever experience, he'd been through, right down to the ripped out fingernails. Hope's dead eyes lost in the distance only reflected the excruciating events he'd experienced.
Maqui couldn't stop the flood of questions that cascaded from his mouth as he stared at one of the friends that all too often haunted his dreams. "Where have you been? What happened? How did you escape? How did-"
"Maqui", came Sazh's fatherly tone. "Slow down." He could feel Hope trembling against him and wondered if he was even aware of where he was. "Hope? Hope, it's us", he spoke soothingly, slowly guiding him over to a chair. "Are you-"
They all stopped abruptly as they heard a scream from the now writhing girl on the table. The soldiers, about to run to her side, were stunned, along with Maqui and Sazh, as they saw the director rush toward her.
Zalera was quaking and thrashing. She seemed to be fighting invisible demons – or past ones. "No! No stop!" Another ear shattering scream erupted from her. "Just stop. Don't touch her! I'll kill you. All..." She gasped and cringed, holding her stomach and curling in on herself.
Hope, who had been lost in a mindless daze, had heard Zalera's cries. Knowing that he had to help her, Hope was quick to get to her side, tucking everything else that had taken over his mind away for a while. He didn't dare touch her, remembering his own nightmares. His touch to her would most likely be like the sickening grabs and gropes of the monsters that had held them in the Ark. "Zalera", spoke Hope, loud as to reach her through her screams, but gentle to ease her out of her pain. "We're out. They can't hurt us anymore. They can't hurt her anymore. Castea, Sebastian... they're gone." Hope swallowed, taking in his words and finally letting his mind absorb the fact that they were safe. "Please, Zalera. We're home."
Zalera's eyes snapped open wide, full of fear. Breaths quick and erratic, it seemed she wasn't going to calm anytime soon. Her eyes searched the room around her before finding Hope's jade orbs. "Hope", she croaked. Her hand gripped his tightly, cracked, sweaty skin seeking certainty. "I-" Her eyes fluttered closed before she slipped back into unconsciousness, hand loosening before sliding out of his.
Sighing, Hope turned back to face the others in the room. "Hi", was all he said with a slight, feigned smile.
Maqui ran forward and embraced him, relief flooding him. "You're okay."
"As okay as I can be, I guess." Wincing a bit at the pressure on his wounds, Hope hugged back while meeting Sazh's eyes from over Maqui's shoulder.
The elder man stared not fooled by the smile Hope tried to give him, but he smiled back anyway and tried to brighten the mood. "It's great to have ya back, kid." Sazh swooped in to give the young man a hug when Maqui and Hope had separated. He grimaced when he felt a wet stickiness seep into his clothes and when the odor, a blend of vomit, blood, sweat and grime, hit his nose. The reflex to pull away was dulled by the need to keep him close. In finding that Hope was truly home and in his presence, Sazh hugged him a little tighter. Pulling back with a wide grin, he eyed the young man critically. "Time to get you cleaned up, huh? And where'd your shirt run off to? With your shoes?"
Hope chuckled until he felt the ground beneath his feet shift while a fuzziness invaded his vision. Falling forward into Sazh's arms, he sank to the ground mumbling something incoherent. He heard gasps and yelling and shouting, but none of it made sense. His breaths came in short bursts as he tried to let the air around him into his lungs. The blurriness of his vision would not relent. He heard more footsteps and new voices. Soon he felt himself being lifted and put onto what seemed to be a stretcher. He could hear Zalera kicking and screaming a short ways away from him, but he could not help her this time, even though he felt the need to soothe her fears as she had done for him.
As the world around him began to fade, Hope attempted to fight his way back, but his injuries and his mind held him with a steel grip. The darkness and deadness invaded him again, the pain not even reaching him. He had experienced so much pain in the past few months that it now barely fazed him. But he was home. He'd finally made it. He no longer welcomed that darkness and deadness that he wished so desperately for before. He reached and groped for the light ahead of him. The bright light that symbolized the warmth of his home and his family, but the evils of his past, of his pain, would not let him forward. It would not release him and Hope wondered if it ever would.
Lightning ran into the hospital with thoughts solely on Hope. The nervousness and guilt she'd had before when visiting Maqui held back by her sheer need to see him. She searched through the room of nondescript, unimportant people for Sazh. When she spotted him, she found her feet carrying her toward him before she had even realized she'd told them to move.
His eyes darkened at the sight of the soldier. He knew this was going to be a long laborious conversation that would probably involve a lot of restraining the unrestrainable woman before him. "Lightning, good to see ya. I-"
"Where is he?" She mentally cursed herself for the shakiness in her voice but let it slip from her mind. Some things were more important than her pride.
Sazh sucked in a breath and ran a hand through his fro. "He's being tended to, okay, he-"
"I asked where he was", Lightning barked. She clenched her fists to stop the slight tremble in her body.
"Lightning, you need to calm-"
She stepped toward him, murder in her eyes, and grabbed his collar. "I'm calm. Now tell me where he is or I'll find him myself."
Sazh, grabbing her hands while attempting and failing to take them off of him, tried to show her through his eyes how the situation was. He tried to tell her wordlessly, since she wouldn't allow him to speak, how bad things were and how patient she would have to be. However impossible it could be for the soldier, she would have to wait.
Growling, she let him loose and took a deep breath, stepping away a bit before returning her eyes to his. Sazh gestured to a chair beside him, but she refused, although now finding herself worrying more since he thought his next words warranted sitting.
"He's bein' taken care of and you can see him as soon as they're done. You don't wanna get in the doc's way of fixin' him, do ya?" He put a hand on her shoulder which she lowered until it slid off.
"Tch, fine." She sat and glared at the man as if it were his fault. She had a feeling that she was soon going to be talked to like a child. That Sazh was the one to call her, the one there to speak with her when she stormed in, to handle her. And she hated being handled. "You can tell me what happened."
Sazh sat beside her, finding himself sighing once again. "He was found by some soldiers guarding the perimeter. They said he came runnin' up to them with an injured woman in his arms. From what we saw of her, she looked close to death. Of course, so did..." He cast a wary glance to Lightning.
"What woman?"
"We think she was probably another person held captive with him. She didn't have the same injuries, but-"
Lightning felt her breath hitch in her throat. She knew he wouldn't exactly be perfectly fine, but she hadn't yet allowed her mind to think about his condition. She had really only focused on the fact that he was back. "Injuries?"
Sazh slowly nodded. "Along with some wounds obvious from fightin' off the monsters of Pulse... it looks like... he was indeed... tortured."
Jumping from her seat as the last word left his mouth, she huffed. She felt herself falling back into her grief and despair. What had she done? What had he gone through after she'd failed to protect him and failed to find and save him? She paced over a small distance in front of Sazh, trying to refuse the desire to run to his side, which would no doubt disrupt him from being helped and ultimately hurt him more than help him. I'm sorry. Maker, I'm so sorry.
He wanted to stand and comfort her, but knowing Lightning, that would only end with him having a broken jaw. So he sat and tried to let his words do the soothing. "He's goin' to be fine, Lightning. The doctors said that-" She gave him an intense scowl, telling him not to sugar coat anything. "He's got a lot of serious injuries and he'll need alotta time before he can... but he's gonna be all right. He's alive."
"You said he was all right. There's a difference between alive and all right, Sazh." Her tone changed with her next sentence and was now a yell. "Tell me the truth. How bad is it?"
The people around them had now quieted considerably and stared. Lightning paid them no mind, but Sazh cast his eyes over them before leading the distraught woman down a hall. "He's-" Interrupted yet again, Sazh stopped as Rygdea came through the doors leading from the ER.
His face was grave, yet held a small amount of happiness and hope. As his gaze raised from the floor to the two, he made his way over. "Okay, Lightning, give him a break." The sergeant sent him a token glare for his assumption that she was giving Sazh a hard time.
"How's Hope", asked Lightning, skipping over their pointless exchange and getting to the concern at hand.
"They're done bandaging and stitching him up, but-"
Lightning turned to Sazh. If his injuries were so bad then how could the doctors be done with him already? Unless Sazh had waited that long to tell her. "How long ago did you find him?"
Sazh glanced concernedly at Rygdea before looking apologetically at Lightning. "Four hours ago."
Before she could even register his outrageous words, Rygdea stepped in. "It was my orders to keep this quiet, Lightning. We-"
"Quiet from me", she screamed. "How could you-"
"Don't, Lighning." Rygdea looked into her azure gaze, trying to show her his seriousness, but all she could see was his weariness and sadness.
Sazh rubbed his cheek before turning to the Calvary leader. "Can we see him?"
"He's still unconscious, but yes you can." Seeing Lightning perk up brought a knowing smile to the man's lips.
"How's the woman... Zalera", questioned Sazh.
Rygdea pulled his ponytail out and fingered the tie. "She's still in surgery. Her wound was pretty deep. If what you expect is true, then Hope probably-" He stopped, seeing the warning look in Sazh's eyes and remembered their earlier discussion.
The young woman sensed their keeping of secrets and stepped closer toward them. "What", she asked, frustration and growing fury evident in her voice.
Sazh sighed and looked to the tense soldier. "I think that Lightning oughta see him first."
Before she could say another word, Rygdea was signaling a soldier standing in the corner to them. Rygdea told the man to take Lightning to the director's room and stand guard outside until she was finished.
As she eagerly walked with the soldier, forgetting her question toward the men completely, Lightning was practically on the tall man's heels.
After the two had left through the doors, Sazh turned his attention back to Rygdea. "That was close."
"I'm sorry I forgot. And you're right. You're completely right. It's his to tell her." Rygdea shook his head as he thought about it. That wouldn't be a pleasant conversation.
Sazh nodded. "He did have it hidden for a reason. We were most likely not supposed to see it, but... I just can't believe it."
Hope fell into Sazh's arms and the elder man sank to the ground with him.
Maqui yelled toward the guards to see what was taking the med team so long before coming to help Sazh. As he went to his side though, Maqui caught sight of something on his friend's skin partially hidden under a dirty piece of fabric that had ridden up. As he pulled it up slowly, his eyes bulged.
Sazh, noticing this, found his eyes widening at the sight as well. "No."
Maqui looked up at Sazh. "H-how? I thought it was gone?"
"It was."
Sazh was grateful to the doctors who'd sworn they would be sure to keep the cover on his arm, but he knew she would find it anyway. With the way Lightning was, she would surely note every injury on Hope and inspect his body completely. The foreign piece of torn cloth around his wrist would not go unnoticed nor unchecked.
Standing outside the door, she was surprised at the rising apprehension that was inside her. Her arm just wouldn't open the door. Anxiety, guilt, fear, pain, they grew inside her like weeds, spreading throughout her body. Is he really in such bad shape? What happened to him? He blames me, I know it. I should have protected him. I should have come and saved him. Instead he had to do everything on his own. I can't face him. He won't- No! Lightning growled and shoved it all away. You will face this, Farron. Hope's here now and you have to see what he's been through. You have to see what you put him through. And this is Hope. You have to make sure he's all right.
The moment she saw him, she wanted to scream. She wanted to take the people responsible for Hope's condition and break them into tiny little pieces. She wanted to hit something, beat something, shoot something... Yet she also wanted to stay by his side, heal all his wounds and make him better. Make him... him again. This was not Hope. This could not be her Hope that she had sworn to protect. She could never allow something like this to happen to him. Could she?
She stood beside him and couldn't believe her eyes as she scanned over his body, taking in all of his wounds. There were dozens of bandages of different sizes covering his body. Multiple cuts lied littered along him that were too small for coverage. He had bruising around his neck from obvious strangulation. Numerous burns marred his skin, and on his right wrist was a horrible burn from being restrained. Lightning trembled looking at him. He had such a gentle soul and was one of the sweetest and most caring people she knew. How anyone could ever do something so monstrous... to him of all people... she couldn't even imagine... she couldn't even breathe.
Taking a few, much needed, deep breaths, she looked at his face. His face even held the weight of his pain. Aside from the bruising and cuts, his lips were horribly chapped, there were deep, purple bags under his eyes and his skin seemed to hang a little loosely over his cheekbones from a noticeable loss of weight. With a shuddering breath, she brought a shaky hand to his messy hair and brushed it from his eyes. Why you? Why did it have to be you?
Lightning's brows furrowed as her eyes landed on his left wrist. His right wrist was left exposed, showing the burns from his bindings, but his left wrist was covered by a worn, tattered, green piece of fabric. Curious, she slowly, gently, almost nervously, slid the cloth up his wrist. As the brand slowly began to appear before her, she couldn't believe her eyes. She didn't want to.
In a huff of anger and disbelief, she ripped the fabric from his arm, exposing the offending mark fully. There it was. In all its glory. The hideous brand she knew all too well, that they had worked so hard to fight off, was back on his wrist and there was no denying it. He was a l'Cie once again.
I've failed you. Even more than I thought I had. I... let them do all of these... things to you and now you are... She couldn't process it. It was all too much. For so long, all she wanted was him back, but now... with him in front of her... she was faced with the harsh reality that she had abandoned him. It didn't matter why or if there was a good reason for it, she had abandoned him. And she knew she could never forgive herself for it.
Sitting, her eyes didn't leave the mark. Curiosity struck her as she saw the difference in color. It wasn't red and black. It wasn't white. It was blue. It was a bright, almost crystal-like blue. She found herself finding the dreadful mark quite beautiful and felt disgusted with herself at the thought.
Seeing as she couldn't bear to see it any longer, she looked to Hope's face once more. Calmness washed over her - the kind of calmness only Hope could instill in her. He was home. He was physically and most certainly emotionally damaged, far from all right, but he was home... with her.
As minutes ticked by, she watched him and she could feel herself already relaxing with him. She was regaining a sense of normalcy with his presence. It had been months, days of his absence she had endured, so it shocked her at how easily and how quickly she'd become accustomed to his presence in just twenty minutes. It baffled her. She knew that if anything were to threaten to take him away again, she would die protecting him. And if she failed and survived, she wouldn't make it this time. She wouldn't be able to handle losing him again.
Over the months that Hope had been gone, Lightning had had a lot of time to think about Hope as a person, as a friend, and as the man laying before her. As she watched his sleeping form, she couldn't contain the swarm of words from Nivien, Sazh and sadly even Cass, that buzzed in her mind. Yes, she was actually listening to Cass. Beginning to consider their words, Lightning crossed her arms and allowed herself to think about her and Hope.
Maybe there was something more forming between the two? Maybe that innocent bond they'd had years ago was flourishing into something else? She couldn't explain the feelings she had felt towards him. How she always wanted to protect him. How the distance between them seemed so unbearable while he was gone. Sazh had been right. She was completely torn up after losing him. She had felt utterly broken. She'd been too embarrassed, ashamed and in denial to admit it at the time, but he had been right. The only other times she remembered that feeling was when she'd lost her parents and when she'd almost lost her sister.
Something... something Lightning couldn't quite explain drew her to Hope. She could deny it all she wanted to everyone else, but it was useless to lie to herself any longer. I guess... there's a possibility... a strong possibility... that I... I have feelings for you too. The admission, silent and kept as it was, caused her to stand, her heart to beat wildly, and her hands to seek Hope's own. She didn't know what she would do with her feelings, if she would ever tell Hope or anyone else, if she could ever act on them, but there was a possibility. And that possibility made Lightning's head spin.
As her hands gripped his left, she found herself frowning as she felt the loss of his fingernails. She let go, imagining everything he'd been through. It wasn't hard. She'd done it so many times while he was gone, consciously, unknowingly, and in her nightmares. And now, with his wounds right in front of her, it only made it easier.
She shook her head. It's over now. They can't hurt him. He's here with me. And if they come after him, I'll kill them, because... because... because I care for you, Hope. She began to think of things returning to normal. How he would be after this. How they would continue on. If she really could... If they could...
And it didn't take much time before she began doubting herself again. It's too much. It could never happen. Not because I don't care for him... but I'm not the type of person to love. I don't even... know how to love anymore. Am I even capable? I'm not what he needs... what he deserves... Even if he does truly... have feelings for me, I just- Besides, he surely hates me now. I abandoned him, after all. Everything he could have felt for me is long gone. He could never forgive me, just like Serah. She shut down the thoughts running through her mind. Now was not the time to think of any of that. Self pity helped no one.
She sat down again, waiting. Waiting for Hope to wake. Waiting for Sazh or Rygdea to kick her out, or to try to. Waiting to wake up and feel her heart shatter as she realized it was all a dream. But none of it happened and she found herself falling into a comfortable relaxed state as she continued to wait. To wait for something to happen. Bad or good. Because as much as she hated it, as much as she'd rather suffocate than be patient, it was what she had to do. So that was the soldier's current mission; be patient and wait.
"Sazh... please... I just-"
"I know, Nivien, but he's okay. Really, he is and he's still unconscious. You can't even speak with him yet." Nivien had come in ten minutes ago ranting and screeching about not being told, about having to hear it from Cass. Sazh had to apologize once again and explain that they were keeping it as quiet as they could until they knew what happened. Cass stood by her side trying to calm her down while giving Sazh a sympathetic look.
"What about my brother? Did Hope say-do they have anything?" Her hands were clasped together tightly in front of her as her foot tapped anxiously.
"No. There's still no news about him or the rest of the team." As Sazh said this, tears started to fall down her cheeks and she bit her lip harshly. Cass rubbed her back slowly as a look of disappointment came to his face. The elder man rubbed the back of his neck. "As soon as Hope wakes up, we'll ask him, but we just have to be patient."
Nivien's eyes squeezed shut as she struggled to keep herself from sobbing. "I still want to see him."
Cass gave Sazh a questioning glance that was answered by the pilot's expression. He knew Lightning would be in there with Hope. There would be no force that could stop her from getting to his side. Over two months with her had taught him well that the extremely protective soldier cared a great deal for his friend. "And you will but... they have a lot of things to check and they need to make sure that he's fine and... I think that", as Cass spoke with Nivien, easing her anxiety, he led her over to a chair away from Sazh, "it would be best-"
"Lightning's in with him... isn't she?" She didn't look at him, but stared at her hands as she sat. A dull look came over her as she wiped the still running tears from her eyes.
He blinked at her question before putting a hand over hers. "Yeah, she's only worried about him and, well you know her, she-"
"She lacks restraint."
Cass' eyes widened at her statement and the anger in her tone. "I have to wait too, you know? It's not just you." Their eyes met as she nodded before leaning back in her seat and putting her head on his shoulder.
Lightning sat there, trying desperately to ignore the small, soft , yet seemingly blaring beep of the monitor beside her. The fact that it was helping Hope being the only thing saving the offending machine from the wrath of her gunblade and her foul mood stemming from her worry. Is it really that bad, Hope? Why haven't you woken up yet? A light tap on Hope's door brought her out of her thoughts.
Sazh stepped in and his eyes immediately went to Hope. "How's he doing?"
The soldier blew out a sigh and tightened her grip on her gunblade that laid across her lap, previously being polished in her 'patient' wait. "He's... the same. At least from what I can tell." She glanced at Sazh who stood uneasy. "How's the woman?"
Shaking his head, Sazh looked at Lightning with worry in his eyes that made the young woman curious. Sazh didn't know the girl so why was he so concerned? "She's still in surgery. It looks like... well, seems she'll be okay, but..." The man trailed off as he noticed the loss of fabric over Hope's arm. Eying Lightning cautiously, he opened his mouth to ask but she cut him off.
"Yeah, I noticed. I just don't want to believe it." Her grief stricken face held so much worry until she steeled her expression seconds later, gaze diverting from his.
Sazh frowned when her expression turned unreadable. "Why do you do that?"
"What..." Lightning turned to him with a look of dull curiosity.
"Keep everyone out? Stay stoic when you want to scream? When you're depressed or worried or anxious? I saw it, Lightning, when you came in the hospital. I saw it in your eyes filled with fear and frustration, in your actions riddled with anxiety and pain, in your tears that were threatening to fall. Why can't you just show that you care about him?" The pinkette looked away which only caused him to clench his teeth. He could feel anger bubbling inside of him. It took everything in him to not yell at her. "Maker, Light, what the hell? This kid cares so much for you. Do you know how much it would mean to him if he knew how much you cared? Why do you have to keep everything bot-"
"Stop", Lightning yelled and stood, her furious gaze searing into Sazh's. "You don't know anything." What do my feelings have to do with anyone else?
Sazh stepped back pressing his lips together and steadying his breath, calming down. "I'm sorry. That was... completely uncalled for and..."
"Why?" His eyes looked up from their spot on the floor, shame running from them and turning to confusion. "Why do you... care?"
"I-" Recovering from a state of bewilderment, Sazh looked at the soldier with a smile. You'd think she'd know by now. He walked over to her and put his hand on Lightning's shoulder. "I care because you're family, Lightning. I care about your feelings, your thoughts. Ever since our time together as l'Cie, I've considered all of you my family. Of course I care. And you know what? No one cares for you more than this kid, right here." His eyes turned to the sleeping teen before them and he felt his chest tighten. "I know he looks to you with so much adoration and amazement. I know that he-" Sazh began to choke on his words as he felt a prickling at his eyes. "You have no idea how much he ached while you were crystal."
Lightning's azure orbs looked to Hope while an intense heaviness hit her heart. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to know how Hope had dealt with being forced to lose his new family shortly after losing his mother. She didn't want to know his loneliness. She had had a taste while he was gone that had threatened to break her and that had only been a couple months. Hope had to endure five years, three until Sazh came back. Then he lost his father and... Lightning felt herself spiraling. This is exactly why I don't want to even think-
"I just don't want to see him suffer when he finally wakes up." Lightning's brows furrowed as she struggled to find his meaning. Sazh smirked knowingly. The girl was sharp, no doubt, but when it came to love and emotions, she needed much guidance. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he turned the soldier toward him. "I know, even if you don't that there's something here." Sazh took her hand, an incredulous expression overtaking her face at the contact, and led it to lay over top of Hope's. "Maybe you still need to discover this or process it or whatever, but... I want you to know that no matter what reason you come up with for denying your feelings, know that it will never be that he doesn't love you."
A light tinge of pink rose to her cheeks, but she kept her eyes behind her bangs. Lightning had had no idea how much Hope had cared for her, but it seemed everyone else did. It seemed everyone suspected her own feelings towards him even though she was only just becoming aware. Still, she was only hearing about his favoring of her from everyone else and as embarrassing and nerve wracking as it would be, she wanted to know from him. After all, where was the evidence? "How..." She cleared her throat, attempting to force her usual confidence to surface. "How do you know?"
His amazement at her question and the fact that she had allowed the question to escape from her lips to reach his ears, stayed carefully hidden inside him. He thought hard about it and tried to find the best example that wouldn't risk Hope's dignity and pride. Stepping away from the soldier, he walked to the other side of Hope until he was at the boy's right side. He smiled at the fact that Lightning's hand was still over Hope's and knew that this had to be said.
"Well... although I'm sure Cass and Rygdea could tell you so much more", his smile widened at the growl that broke from her throat after he mentioned the two, "but there was this one time where Alyssa was just frustrated as all hell and it was so uncharacteristic of her, so I talked with her." He was chuckling a bit as he spoke. "She said Hope wasn't letting her inside his office and was even giving her some time off. Now, to any other person, that would have been a relief and would have had anyone beaming. But this was Alyssa. She thoroughly enjoyed working at the Academy, with Hope especially. She was also very concerned for her boss since he worked tirelessly all the time and she had never been 'relieved of duty in such a manner' as she put it."
Biting his lip, his eyes scanned over Hope. "So, I went to check it out. Of course, it being shortly after I awoke, he let me in almost instantly, giving me another one of his eager hugs." He laughed a little, grasping the silveret's shoulder as if checking to see that he was really there. Then the seriousness came back to his gaze. "It took a bit of prodding but I got him to tell me what was going on." Smiling at Lightning softly and chuckling at her raised brow, he walked over to the door. "He said he was fine. It was nothing to worry about. I wouldn't hear none of that until he told me the real reason. So he said he was working on something for you." Her eyes tore from Hope to meet Sazh. "He said that he and I woke up. So you could wake up too." The elder man's eyes darkened and he felt his heart clench as he remembered Hope's look of happiness and glee. There was also despair as he knew for sure the reality of the situation; that it could take centuries for her to awaken. "And although he never told me what it was, he said he was going to have it ready for you when you woke up." Putting his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave her in quiet contemplation, he turned back briefly. "The look in his eyes, Lightning... spoke all the words in the world." Her lips parted as she struggled to contain the storm of feelings hitting her.
"Now, I'm gonna go check on Zalera." He left the room as Lightning sat back down, hand now holding onto Hope's with desperation.
Lightning didn't know how long she sat there after that, mind lost in a mess of thoughts. All she knew was that she didn't come back to reality until Hope started to stir.
Faintly, Hope could hear the beeping of a monitor beside him. He felt the sheets that enveloped him and the stale air on his face laced with the unpleasant scent of a hospital. So that's where I am. His eyes opened to the dimmed lights of his room, his vision still hopelessly blurry. He felt a warmth on his hand and noticed that it was locked in the strong grip of a calloused hand. His emerald gaze met a figure beside him, but all he could make out was the pink of their hair. Of course that was all he needed to know that it was surely Lightning. "Light?" His vision cleared after a moment and he smiled at the form before him. He felt so much relief to see her alive and at his side. He missed her so much that he wanted to jump up and envelope her in the biggest hug imaginable, but he remained still, taking in every bit of her gorgeous features that marveled him to no end. He finally felt that he was home. But as he stared at her unmoving, seemingly stunned form, guilt rose in him. The memory of his breaking her promise and putting her in danger with Sebastian coming to the forefront of his mind.
Lightning couldn't speak as her eyes bore into his, gaping at him. Once the haziness left him, his expression filled with such delight, but he kept silent as well. His utterance of her name sent a pleasant shiver through her. She felt herself fighting back her own delighted smile until he looked almost scared of her.
"I'm sorry, Light, I-" He stopped as she flew forward, aggressively holding him in a possessive embrace. This rendered Hope completely speechless, but he returned the hug nonetheless. It appeared that this would be how it was with the soldier. Any seemingly intimate act, even as simple as a hug, was sudden and surprising, but welcome all the same. Tears began to form in his eyes as he tried to stop the rushing onslaught of emotions. He couldn't let Lightning see him like this.
Little did he know that she was fighting that same overload of feelings. She was only more experienced at hiding them. Even with this experience though, she was still finding it frustratingly hard to restrain her own relief from spilling down her cheeks.
"Maker, I'm so sorry, Light."
I-I'm sorry Hope. I'm the one who broke my promise. I wasn't there to protect you. I didn't even look for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't leave again. Don't ever leave again. She said none of this, of course. Her pride wouldn't allow her to. Instead she tried to convey all she could through her hug. The time they stayed wrapped in a tight and soothing embrace remaining unknown to them as all they cared about in those minutes, was each other.
Rygdea and Amodar sat beside Hope, waiting for him to speak. It had been a couple of hours since he had awoken and it was now time to get to business. He had his warm welcome from Lightning, Sazh, Rygdea, and the general, but they had to talk about what happened to him. Getting Lightning to leave was no easy task and it took Hope asking her himself, pleading with her more like it, to get her to go. She didn't need to know the gory details of what he went through. He didn't want her to know. He'd managed to keep her knowledge of everything to a minimum and he wanted to keep it that way. So now it was just the three of them.
The air in the room became suffocating as he tried to remain calm. Telling them was not going to be easy. Although he was on some heavy medication, just looking at his woulds brought back the pain, the memories. Hell, just closing his eyes brought it back.
"Hope?"
Hope's eyes met Rygdea's as he fought to steady his quaking limbs. "I'm all right", he assured.
Amodar nodded. "Okay, first... how did they abduct you? They got you in the Harleen Cemetery, correct?"
Shifting, he tensed, hoping to find a calm detachment from his emotions as his mentor always could, but it was unbearably hard. "Her name was Castea... their leader. She came out first while I... was at my father's grave. They caught me completely off guard especially as others came out surrounding me. I t-tried to fight back, but they... they were too strong..." Shame took him as his eyes met the bed. All this time, all the training and fighting, and he still couldn't protect himself. Lightning knew it. She still felt the need to protect him all the damn time. He hated to think of what Rygdea thought, his other mentor that taught him how to use a gunblade when Lightning, who he would have preferred to teach him, had been unavailable. And he had to tell him everything.
"And what did they look like", was Amodar's next question.
"She's older, maybe middle aged. She had short blonde hair with... intense gray eyes. Her hair was always slicked back and she wore a white cloak. Those that followed her were all-all that I saw anyway were big burly men with black robes."
Amodar nodded again and Rygdea sat unmoving. His face was devoid of emotion, but his jaw was locked tight and his hands were balled into fists. The general continued. "What happened next?"
Hope heaved a heavy sigh, his eyes roving the room. "I woke up strapped to a stone table." His shaky voice faltered, but he carried on, not wanting to stop for he didn't know if he could continue once he did. "It was a musty, old, giant, stone room with other tables like mine beside me. I didn't find out until later, but I was in the fourth floor of the eighth Ark... When I came over my shock, I found that there was a woman in there with me. Over time, we got to know each other. She told me of the weeks she had spent there with Yeul. She had been her Guardian and felt... that she had failed her." Hope thought back to his time in there with Zalera and remembered that, even before he knew her, he felt comforted by her. Even in just the fact that he was not alone. "We formed a bond and tried to help each other when we could."
When Hope stopped, Amodar sighed. He really didn't want to ask his next question, but he knew his fellow leader felt even more apprehension toward it. "What did they do to you Hope?"
Clenching his teeth, he took a deep breath for what had to have been the billionth time. "They told me it was to bring back my brand. T-t-that I-I was the only one who could... find the crys-... crystals and b-bring back the Maker. That that was what they wanted." Hope ran a hand through his mussed up locks and tugged at it. "They tortured Zalera to get the truth from Yeul. They tortured Yeul to get the crystal locations from her. And they... to me so my brand would come back. All to bring the damn Maker back."
Hope had spoken so fast it had almost been hard to hear and grasp, but Rygdea had. He was now seething with rage that he projected it into his fists. They clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned a ghastly white.
Amodar looked deep into the young man's eyes, silently apologizing for having to push and pry. "What did they do?"
"Fuck... They put Zalera through so much pain. I saw and heard so much-"
"What did they do to you, Hope?"
It was a long while before he spoke. He looked so withdrawn after the minutes ticked by that it scared Rygdea to no end. He hadn't seen that look on the boy in a long time. His dulled voice came a few seconds before Rygdea was about to call out for him.
"I... Sebastian, one of the biggest, burliest of them all was Castea's right hand. He tortured me."
The calvery leader's gaze found the floor as he restrained himself.
"He told me at first that he had battled Light. That the scars around his wrists and neck were from her. He was a l'Cie like the rest of them, a powerful one at that, so it was understandable that he had healed her wounds on him. He said he'd killed her, though." Hope's voice held such grief, such anger, and he knew he was failing to hold his emotions back. "He also told me that he was the one who had personally tortured Yeul and sent her to us. Even healed some of her wounds to assure that she would make it."
Amodar tensed. "What happened to you, Hope?"
"I'm getting there", he snapped. But he soon apologized before carrying on. "Most of the time, I was on that table." The young director looked at his wrists, sickened by the sight. "But when I wasn't I was in a small cell. It was mostly bare... They would slide in a tray of food through a slit in the door." He bit his lip as he knew what he had to say next. He slid his hand over his face, tears now slowly falling. "He... would cut me... and s-stab me... a-a-and burn-and shock m-me... I spent most of my time choking on blood and the rest fighting to stay sane throughout the onslaught of attacks and I-" He gasped, squeezing his eyes shut at his recollection. "And when I wasn't being... even sometimes while I was... she-Zalera, she..." Hope struggled to breathe as the tears fell faster. Rygdea stood and walked over to the shaking young man before sitting beside him and taking him into an embrace. "I could hear her screams and cries. I could hear it all. There was no... I soon f-found myself not sleeping until my body forced me to. I was actually..." He stopped himself there, not wanting them to know the fact that he had actually plead for death.
Amodar waited for Hope to calm down and for Rygdea to peel himself away before moving on. "And how did you escape? How did you get here?"
Hope wordlessly held up his arm, showing off his brand. The moment he'd seen that the fabric no longer clung to his skin and knew that Lightning had seen, he thought he'd almost died. But she had put her hand gently over the terrible tattoo and told him that they would figure it out. Those words, and the small smile she'd given him, caused his heart to soar. The main reason he'd hidden it in the first place was so he could tell Lightning himself. Now, seeing as how she didn't reject him for his l'Cie status in any way and told him she would help, he felt no need to hide it. "Alexander came. He and I, as soon as I found my magic again... some semblance of it... we fought our way to Zalera, got h-her out and got out of the Ark entirely. Who we hadn't killed before, certainly died when the Ark completely came down and caved in. W-we fought through the monsters of Pulse until we fought against a Behemoth King. Then Zalera took a heavy hit and I-" He struggled to keep his new found composure. "I could only heal some of it, my magic is weak and unsteady, so I carried her here."
"Okay." Amodar wrote a few more notes down as he nodded yet again. "And-"
"For Maker's sake, will you let up already?" Rygdea was losing his patience and knew Hope couldn't take much more. He wasn't even sure if he himself could.
"You know full well that I have one more question to ask." His tone held sympathy and a bit of frustration. It was very evident that he didn't like asking the questions anymore than they liked hearing them and answering them. "Were you and Zalera the only ones you knew of held captive in the Ark?"
Hope's brows knitted together at the question. "Yes...? Why?"
"There was no one else?"
"Why are you..." His eyes widened. "Who else got-"
Rydea sighed. "A search team went missing shortly after you were taken. Maqui was there and was the sole survivor left. He said it was a buncha l'Cie who didn't want you found. They threatened to kill everyone on the team if we didn't..."
"Stop looking for me... was there anyon-"
"Olly and Gadot were among those taken", was Rygdea's grave reply.
Hope laid back as shock set in. He hadn't known. He hadn't known at all and now the only people who knew the location of the missing search team and his friends were dead. How were they going to find them now?
Hildough left the room shortly before Cass entered, a wide grin plastered to his face. "So the stiff ambassador gets to see you before your best friend. Thanks bunches, Hope." They hugged and he chuckled at the apologetic aura that radiated from his companion. He could already hear the multiple apologies coming, but Cass wouldn't let them escape. "Save it, dude, I'm glad you're all right."
"No, Cass... I..." Hope began nervously twisting his loosening bandage on his arm. "You took over for me and from what I hear..." He glanced at Cass with a small, sad smile. "You did rather well. I wanted to thank you for that and say..."
Cass rolled his eyes. "If this is gonna be one of those mushy little bromance moments, then..." The look he received from Hope was all the answer he needed. "Right, I forgot. It's you." He nudged Hope with his elbow and they chuckled.
"No, I'm just really sorry for freezing you out and... I was just concerned about you. I didn't know what to do and with work and my... dad I just-"
"I get it. And really don't worry about it."
Although Cass held a pretty good poker face, one that could parry Lightning's fairly, Hope knew him too well. He could see just how much he had hurt him and wasn't sure if their friendship could ever return to its same state again.
As a small silence drifted over the room, Cass' everlasting smirk turned somber. "Well, since we're..." He cleared his throat and walked away a few steps, staring at the wall before him. He didn't know how to address the elephant in the room or if he even should. Hope had surely heard his share of apologies and wouldn't need another look filled with pity and sympathy. He most certainly didn't need another person reminding him of his time away. Especially from me. If only he knew... Guilt seeped into him which was soon overcome by rage, but he kept it all back, careful to hide it from his 'best friend'. "Look, I'm gonna get." He turned to Hope with a wave, his cocky grin back in place. "I'm sure Lightning is just dying to get back in here, huh?" Winking at him, Cass left the room.
"Speak of the devil." Cass walked out and right in front of him, leaning against the wall, was a tense Lightning. "I knew you wouldn't be far, but-" His words ceased the moment he received a stern glare from the soldier. She seemed to perk up as her head turned to the right. Moments later, Nivien came around the corner. The teen sighed and walked over to the eager lieutenant, hoping to give her a little talk before she reached her destination. He stepped in front of her with a hand out and was met with a look of confusion and impatience. "Go easy on him, Nivien."
After his words, she looked incredulous. "What-"
"I know you want to find your brother, but Hope doesn't know where he is. And I know you're angry at him for whatever happened between you two," The lieutenant's gaze drifted over to Lightning, who all though seemed to be minding her own business, was easily within earshot. Nivien tried to step around Cass, but he stepped before her again. "...or angry for whatever reason... but he is in pretty bad shape." Nivien's eyes shot back to Cass. Her eyes were watery, but she held her tears locked behind her lids for she swore she wouldn't cry again that day. "You can just look at him and tell they put him through hell. So, I'm just asking that you let everything go for now and just be there for him."
Nivien was about to ask him how bad it was - just what they had put him through exactly. But he carried on.
Cass' gaze turned to the floor and he shifted. "You know, like you used to." With that, he left. He sped away hoping to leave before the conversation turned awkward.
Nivien watched him walk away, dreading the look she'd receive from the sergeant when she turned around. But what was she so afraid of? She shouldn't be afraid of or ashamed to be around Lightning. She was higher in rank, older, more experienced, and had been involved with Hope in a way the roseate had never been. At least to her knowledge. With her head held high, she turned around to face the woman who had been causing her such grief. Only to see that Lightning's eyes were closed, seemingly relaxed. As if the imposing guard had fallen asleep. But Nivien knew better. The sergeant's body was stiff, tense, and ready to strike at any moment. Lightning was probably trying to avoid confrontation with her as much as she was. The lieutenant sighed before walking over to Hope's door and going in.
Lightning opened her eyes as soon as the woman had gone into Hope's room. She was still processing Nivien's and Cass' small exchange in the hallway moments before. She had been concerned about the lieutenant stressing Hope about her brother, but it hadn't occurred to her that even without the worry for a missing Olly, things would still be tense between the two for their previous relationship. Which of course, Lightning didn't want to think about at all, but it was unavoidable. She felt a curious desire to go over to Hope's door and listen to their conversation. She shook her head and rubbed her forehead in frustration. What the hell? She would never do that. Would she? No, she had more respect for Hope than that and would never dream of committing such an invasion of privacy toward him. And she didn't understand why she'd wanted to. She hadn't when Cass was in there or Hildough or the remaining members of the NORA gang. Yes, she had when Rygdea and Amodar were, but that was because she wanted to find out what Hope had been through. Him keeping that from her had been, and still was, tearing her apart. But she couldn't believe the possessiveness she suddenly felt for the young man. She had always been protective, but... this was just... odd and made Lightning feel uneasy.
Incoming footsteps snapped Lightning out of her thoughts and brought her eyes toward their owner. It was Rygdea who had on a wide smile causing Lightning to raise a brow.
"Just came to give Hope the news. Zalera's awake and doing better."
Then there was her. Lightning was unsure of what to think of the woman everyone seemed so concerned about. She didn't know much about her and really, she was a bit suspicious of her. But apparently she'd helped Hope out in some huge ways, so she imagined that she should be grateful toward her. "Has she said anything about the... captivity." Lightning tightened her grip around her arms. She was getting tired of the weakness in her voice every time she spoke about Hope's time away.
Rygdea scratched the back of his neck. "Well, at first she was a tad freaked out and wanted to know where Hope was. I guess they became quite dependent upon each other."
No kidding. That was like the third thing Hope said after he woke up. 'Where's Zalera?'
"But after we explained that he was fine and was recovering, she zipped up her trap sayin' she wouldn't say anythin' until she spoke to him. Man, you'd think the woman's almost as stubborn as you." He chuckled nervously at her raised brow. "I said almost."
A loud crash sounded from around the corner following the loud, demanding voice that sounded slightly Pulsian. "I don't care. You better get the hell outta my way before I beat your ass."
"Ah, hell. I told her to stay put."
As soon as Rygdea said that, a young woman came into view in a hospital gown on shaky legs. She had long, waist length green hair threaded with multicolored beads. Her eyes were about as green as her hair and almost matched the vivid color of Hope's. An abundance of freckles were scattered across her nose and cheekbones. The soldier was curious though by the fact that the woman didn't seem to have a third of the injuries her friend had. A guard walked beside her, frustration written on his face as he attempted to stop the determined woman. A doctor was on her other side pushing a wheelchair to which the warrior looked at with distaste.
Rygdea ran toward her, his hand threading through his hair in stress. "What on Pulse are you-"
"Don't even try it", she yelled with a serious ferocity that made Lightning's eyebrows raise in surprise. "I'm not some invalid, you ass hole. I don't need to lay bedridden like some worthless victim and I most certainly am not being carted around in a damn chair." She pushed her way through the men blocking her path towards Hope's room, wincing at the pain in her side.
"You're going to rip open your stitches", yelled the doctor worriedly as he left the wheelchair abandoned behind him.
Lightning bit her lip as she felt her chest tighten a bit. The woman reminded her of Fang and she almost instantly took a liking toward Zalera. A feat that only the now crystal Pulsian had been able to accomplish. "Why don't you all get out of her way. It's obvious she has a place to be and all you're doing is making her trek worse and more laborious", spoke Lightning as the group drew near.
They all stopped, even the emerald haired woman. She smirked in response and straightened herself up before walking in Lightning's direction. She soon stood before the soldier, looking her up and down.
Lightning did the same and noticed not only how tall the Pulsian was, being probably at least an inch above Hope's new astonishing height, but she was very well toned and muscular. She certainly had the body, stance and will of a warrior.
"Well, you must be the great Lightning Farron." She bowed her head to the younger woman, grinning at the furrowed brow she received. "You couldn't have thought that in spending months with the kid, I wouldn't have heard all about you." Lightning frowned and shifted in response. "Thanks for that, by the way. They are impossible." She turned and went into Hope's room.
Rygdea huffed and gave the door a glare as if Zalera were still standing there. Lightning held back a laugh. "I like her already."
The man gave her an inquiring look in return, but she said nothing further. "Well, anyway..." He sighed. "Amodar wants to speak with you. We'll be having a meeting in the kid's room shortly, but he wanted to see you about something beforehand." A conflicted gaze came over the young woman's features. It was subtle, but Rygdea knew just what it was about. She was trying to decide between her duty to Hope and her duty to Amodar. "Don't worry, girl, it won't take long and I'll be here to guard him." A dubious look came over her before a glare set in with a growl. She stomped away muttering something about the use of the word 'girl'. This only caused the man to guffaw at her retreating form.
Lightning found the man in the waiting room not too far away. Although she didn't want to leave Hope's side for anything, she wanted to speak with Amodar. Since Hope had returned, she imagined that he would soon be going back to work and she wondered if she would still be kept on guard duty. Obviously since he had had guards before this, he would have them now. But since the vicious l'Cie were dead, as she had heard, she was anxious to know if her presence was still needed at the director's side.
That was another thing that had occupied her mind as she had been kept out of Hope's room. She had reflected on Hope's role; being devoted to his job and his duty. This had led her to think about her own role, her own duty, which until Hope had gone missing, had been a mystery to her. Without Serah to protect, without a life mission to accomplish, she had felt purposeless. But now she knew. Lightning finally found her purpose in this new world. She would be devoted to him. She would now protect him with all she had.
Determination settled inside her as she approached Amodar. "Sir." She stood and saluted in greeting.
"At ease, sergeant", he said chuckling. He was about to speak again but took note of the seriousness of Lightning's face. "Something up, Farron?"
"Well, sir, I was just wondering if I..." She trailed off as her eyes met the floor.
But the general had a suspicion as to what she wanted to ask and it was the reason he had sent for her in the first place. "You would like to remain in your position as the director's personal guard?" Shock came over Lightning at his intuition and he saw it instantly. "I think it's a wonderful idea and I have no qualms. I was about to suggest it myself, really. But you'll have to check with Estheim before it's official, though I can't imagine the young man having a problem with it." He smiled as the soldier before him slowly recovered and thanked him. "Of course, now we have a meeting to get to. Let's get going."
The room was quiet for the first few minutes. An uncomfortable and almost unnerving silence surrounded them, choking Hope as he tried to find a way to get the meeting going and over with. They were all in his hospital room, sitting and standing around. There was him, Sazh, Lightning, Amodar, Rygdea, Hildough and Zalera. They all had a purpose there and had their own part in the impending conversation. What each of their roles were, Hope was unsure. But he was glad to have his friends and family with him nonetheless.
"Well", started Rygdea. "I know we all wanna make this quick so our director here can get some much deserved rest."
"Right." Amodar sat forward in his chair. "The first topic I suggest we speak about, is the future of the crystal mission." The faces of those around him all darkened. "I know we all have a lot invested in this, but I'm concerned about the potential risks and-"
"If I may, General", interjected Hope. He sat up with a grim look on his face. "I think..." He cleared his throat and was careful to keep his gaze from all others in the room. "I know that this whole mission was my idea and I was completely set to do all I could to make sure that it was successful, but I don't think that it is wise to continue it."
Sazh looked up and tried to find Hope's eyes with his, but was unsuccessful. "But Hope, this could-"
Hope sighed. He knew Sazh would have been made aware, in his absence, that the mission, if successful, could wake his son. And it was one of the reasons he'd dreaded having this conversation. "I'm sorry, Sazh, but I won't do it."
Amodar smiled softly. "I agree. Why don't you explain your reasoning though, Director."
Hope swallowed thickly. "All of this apparently, if... Castea was correct, depends on me and my ability to control my powers. Say I was able to find the crystals and successfully put them together. Say that all of Castea's group really died in that cave and none of them came after me or the crystal, which none of us can be sure about. Say that it was safe from all opposing forces. What if I'm not able to control the crystal's power? I'm supposedly the only one and-" Hope's emerald eyes drifted over to Zalera's matching ones filled with concern and sympathy. "and the destined one who can bring back the Maker. I could potentially kill off everyone on the planet and not even mean to." Hope's internal distress on the issue began to leak into his voice.
Lightning felt her heart sink. The prospect of having to wait for her sister to wake becoming reality. But she understood. She understood every bit of Hope's doubts and nervousness and she could only agree with him. She was about to put a hand on his shoulder or give him some form of reassuring, soothing gesture, but Zalera beat her to it as she put her hand over his. Lightning furrowed her brow at the contact and the ease that seemed to fall over Hope in its wake, but said nothing.
Zalera raised her head. "I know you all don't know me and I know it may not be easy to trust me, but know that Hope has every right to fear the crystal's power. I doubt, even though I know of Hope's great strength with magic, I doubt he could control it. Yeul had seen many futures in her visions and many, very prominent, very real ones, were of Hope ending all life on this planet and bringing back Buinivelze. It would be idiotic and dangerous to tempt fate by going after the crystal shards."
Hope smiled and squeezed Zalera's hand. He had been surprised by the strength and steadiness of her words as she'd spoken of Yeul. It couldn't have been easy on her. He was very proud and glad that he had some back-up.
Rygdea nodded. "So do we all agree?"
Everyone in the room soon nodded in confirmation. Even Sazh, though he didn't appear completely accepting of it.
Hildough wrote down a few notes in his notebook before turning to Amodar and saying, "Sir, the last bit?"
"Yes, okay." Amodar glanced at Hope's wrist. "We only have one more thing pressing to discuss. That brand of yours, Hope, and your new l'Cie status."
Hope's appeased gaze turned solemn as it dropped to his left forearm. "What... What about it?"
Rygdea stood and put his hands on his hips. "We think you should keep it hidden."
The young man's head shot up. "No way."
His obstinate stance was shocking to the rest of those in the room. They all thought for sure that it was the best option, and thought Hope would agree.
Lightning was the first to ask about it. "Why, Hope? It would keep you safe and... it's no one's business but ours what happened to you whe-"
"No, Light." All eyes went to him. It was rare when Hope would disagree with Lightning of all people, but he seemed set in his decision. "I don't want to keep secrets from the public. We all know how that goes. We've all been victims of it as well. I will not keep this from them. I have a duty to my people and I will not lie to them." He expected the first one to yell at him to be Lightning. And she was furious. It seemed to her that all he wanted was to put himself in danger. But no. It was Rygdea who was ready to kick his ass.
"You can't be serious?" Hope's stunned and slightly scared eyes darted toward the fuming man. "Do you know what this could do? How many people are still afraid of l'Cie? Hell there's a whole city of people that didn't want to even associate with the families of previous l'Cie. You don't think they might take up arms and come gunning for you, Hope?" He sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I won't let you do this. I swore to your father that I'd watch over you and this is just suicide. One assassination attempt wasn't enough for you?"
Hope didn't dare bring up the attempts Castea had mentioned and neither did Zalera.
At that, Amodar stood. "I think that's enough, Rygdea."
But he kept going. "I can't even- How many more people do you want to lose?"
Amodar put his hand around the distraught man's arm. "Rygdea, stop." The calvary leader shook him off.
"What if someone came after you again, huh? What if you survived yet again because of more people risking their lives. What if it were more guards or Nivien or Sazh or me or... hell even Lightning? What would you do then, I-" He stopped abruptly as Lightning stepped forward and swiftly kicked him in the gut.
"You're not helping anyone", she yelled. She glared down at the man now on the floor taking large gulps of breath. Glancing in Hope's direction, she saw the lost, depressed expression that had captured his previously determined face. It made her ache seeing him in that state.
Rygdea growled. "Fine." He stood and yelled in her face. A dangerous move as you can imagine. "You talk some sense into the kid then. I don't know how you see it, but to me, it looks like he's gonna get himself killed. I won't stand for it." He left the room, still filled with rage. Amodar saluted as he followed his irritated associate.
Hildough stopped mid-step and turned to Hope. "I am glad you are back, my friend." Hope, snapping out of his slump, smiled back. "I respect your decision and wish you the best. Stay safe, Director."
After Hildough left, Sazh sighed. "I disagree, but I know you won't budge on this." He left as well, trying to make peace with the fact that the crystal mission was shut down.
This left Zalera and Lightning on opposite sides of a flustered and now unsure Hope. "Zalera?" She looked down and caught Hope's gaze. "Could you give us some time to talk?"
Zalera smiled and nodded. "I should probably get some rest. Who knows what I've done to myself getting over here, but I'm glad you're okay." She patted his hand. "And thank you. Thank you for rescuing me time and time again. You have no idea how much you've done for me." After mussing up his hair, as many did in an affectionate gesture, she left the room.
Leaving the wall, Lightning sat beside Hope. The guilt settled in again. He wanted to leave the brand conversation, but what did that leave him with? The string of apologies he had yet to give her? How could he convey to her how impossibly sorry and regretful he was at disobeying her? At leaving her? At putting her in danger? "I'm so sorry, Light."
Knowing that he was avoiding the previous topic and falling into their old one, Lightning sighed. "No, Hope. I'm sorry." She looked up briefly to meet his confused gaze before her eyes turned to her folded hands resting on her knees. "I should have been there and I should have.. protected you."
"Light, you have to know that it wasn't your fault." He could see the grief and despair inside her. He couldn't believe that she blamed herself for his mistake.
"I left-"
"Let me finish." Hope sat up, putting his hands over hers, effectively bringing her eyes to his. "I left. I chose to leave with no protection, without notifying anyone. It was my fault. And mine alone."
Her gaze then quickly turned from apologetic to hurt. "Why did you do it, Hope? You promised me that you would stay." A bit of anger flashed within her, but she tried to stomp it out.
"I'm sorry. I left because... b-because I-" This time, it was his eyes that fell away.
But Lightning was not about to let it drop and the anger grew. "Because what? What was so damn important that you risked your life again?"
Not bringing his eyes up, Hope tightened his grip on her hands. "I found a letter from my father."
Lightning gasped and the growing fury suddenly went out as if it had never been there. That was definitely not an answer she was anticipating. "I-"
"I found it and read it. It was a letter he... wrote me in case... he died." His speech was broken, but understandable. "I felt that I just had to see him... but- I'm so sorry, Light!" A few tears slipped through and he hated himself for crying in front of Lightning of all people. "I remembered my promise to you and I-I made a conscious decision to break it. I can't even tell you how so-"
"I understand, Hope."
Her calm and even tone brought Hope's tears to an immediate halt. "How could you, I-"
"You missed your father and I know that grief makes you do..." She gave him a stern look, but held a slight smile. "...stupid things. I forgive you, but... know that I'm not leaving your side again."
"What?"
"As I'm sure you've heard, I was appointed the director's, Cass', personal guard in your... absence."
Hope smirked. "And I'm sure that was a bit of a challenge. Being around Cass all the time."
Lightning scowled at him, but he kept his grin in place until her glare faltered and she turned her gaze to the wall. "I spoke with Amodar and, with your permission, I will stay on as your guard. I will be there to protect you."
And now, it was Hope's expression that faltered. "Why do you want to?"
"What?"
"Why do you feel like it's your job to protect me?" He pulled his hands from hers. "You've made it clear that I'm not a child. I'm not weak. I have plenty of others set to protect me. So why?"
"Because I have to." She made to stand but stopped. Leaving his side was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do. Even if the conversation got awkward or unbearable... she would stay. "I don't have anyone else. Serah was all I had. The one thing I had to do was protect her, fight for her... and now... All I have is you." Her cerulean orbs found his shocked green. "I will not lose you. I... I care about you far too much." He didn't say anything and it unnerved her. The silence that soon hung over them strangled her and she wanted it to end. "I will protect you. I promise you I'll protect you at any cost."
Hope gave her a sweet smile accompanied by watery eyes before another look of determination came over him. "You don't have to promise me that, Light. I don't want you to promise me that. Because any cost would include your life and that's a cost I could never live with."
Lightning smiled at him, a very wide smile that only diminished with time, which surprised both of them. They both fell into a state of ease and his hands found hers yet again. They stayed like that, in a companionable silence until Hope fell asleep. Lightning then disentangled her hands from his grip, somewhat sadly and sat back, once again astonished by how relaxed just having him beside her made her.
As she sat, waiting for sleep to take her, she took out Hope's bandana that never left her side. She felt a tad bitter, for she knew she would have to return it soon. Once again, she traced the patterns until she dozed off, one last thing going through her mind. I won't let anything take you away again. I swear it.