Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to review, I love hearing what you think and what you want to happen. I'm so sorry for the delay in updating this story, my aim is to now update every couple of days as the story is written, finished and ready to go.

This story was a labour of love, it was hard to write Olivia as so shattered and damaged, thank you for responding and always being so encouraging and positive. I hope you enjoy the next installment as we begin to travel towards the end of the story.

She'd sat in her car for exactly three hours, not sure why she was there and what to do next. She'd thought about making this trip before, she'd thought about what she would say and why she felt like she had to be there? It never made sense but she knew it was something that she had needed to do.

She looked up as the other woman re entered the room, cupping the coffee she had earlier requested. "I'm sorry it took so long, I had to go and check on the baby."

Olivia's eyes darted to the many baby items across the room, how had she forgotten? Charlie had mentioned the fact that she had remarried and had been expecting a new baby.

"You wanted to talk to me about Charlie? Is he okay?" Carla looked genuinely worried, her wide eyes full of concern.

"Uh he's okay..." she lied, wishing she had planned this conversation a little more. "My...my captain has asked just to do a few background checks on the officers who have been working on your daughters case and I...I connected the dots," she lied again.

"Charlie always told me not to talk about Lisa to any of his colleagues," she sighed. "He was always so scared that he'd be taken off the case if they knew about her." The other woman was around the same age as Olivia, bouncy, black curly hair and wide brown eyes, her dark skin was almost glowing.

"But you're talking about it now?" Olivia asked, wondering why the woman had broken her silence so easily.

"I haven't heard from Charlie in nearly six months, I know that the killer is still going, and...i know what he gets like. He becomes obsessed, he won't sleep, won't eat...he had been seeing someone, I'd really hoped that she would change him, I can't remember the last time he'd mentioned anyone other than the killer but...the last time I heard from he he called me, drunk, I figured that she had enough..." she shook her head. "I really want the best for him, I do, I want him to be able to move on but...he's never going to be able to move on unless he's off that case so...so maybe if he didn't have a choice..." as she spoke Olivia heard the faint sound of the baby upstairs crying. "I'll be right back."

Olivia sighed, no clearer on how to help Charlie than when she'd first arrived on Carla's doorstep. Maybe the other woman was right? Maybe the one thing Charlie needed more than anything else was to have the choice taken away from him, to force him to face his feelings rather than continue the chase. This had been a mistake, lying to Charlie's ex wife had been foolish, she had told her that her name was Emma Brown...who the hell was Emma Brown? She had to get out of there now.

"This is Tommy."

Too late.

Carla smiled and sat directly across from Olivia whilst at her son intently, she finally tore her gaze from her son and faced the woman in front of her. There was something about this woman that didn't add up, and although she knew that she would come to no harm she wondered exactly why the woman had vistsed.

"How old is he?" Olivia asked slowly, not quite sure to do as the pain in her chest became increasingly difficult to ignore. She had seen children since Grace had died, she had seen mothers with children, why was this moment the one that was almost killing her?

She took a deep breath and managed to tear her eyes away from the tiny little boy.

"He's nearly 7 months, do you have any kids Detective?" she couldn't help but notice the slight wince as Olivia processed the question.

Olivia felt her heart drop as she shook her head, "Um no, never been that lucky."

And awkward silence followed and Olivia wondered fi she should just leave? As she was about to make her excuses Carla spoke.

"This is what I wanted with Charlie, more kids, the chance to start again but he just couldn't...I thought maybe...with this woman..." she shook her head as her son wriggled in her arms.

"Was he ever...was he ever violent towards you?" she regretted her question as soon as she she'd asked, as soon as the frown spread across Carla's face and her eyes darted to the very apparent bruise on the side of her face, the bruise that no amount of makeup would hide.

"Uhh, no...but he..." Carla looked from her son to Olivia. "Towards the end...he scared me. He'd come home at all hours, yell at me and throw things and I...I couldn't take it anymore. One night he threw a photo of Lisa at the wall, told me I didn't care about finding the man who killed her, the man who killed my baby?"

Olivia fought the chill that ran down her spine. This woman was the only person in the world who knew what she had gone through, who understood what the pain of losing a child and then Charlie felt like, she desperately wanted to reach out to her, to beg her to tell her how to make the pain go away but she couldn't, she'd lied to the woman and Charlie was no longer her issue, she had the chance to be happy...hell she already was happy.

"Could you just take him for one second-"

Before Olivia could even think about refusing the little boy was gently placed in her arms as Carla rummaged around in the drawers behind her.

Breathe. Breathe now...Her heart beat echoed through her body as she struggled not to fall apart there and then. She slowly looked down at the little boy, his wide eyes and podgy cheeks almost made her heart explode there and then. He was so beautiful, his tiny fingers curled around her index finger as she struggled to catch her breath. The pain was almost unbearable but there was something inside of her that was screaming for her to keep a tight hold of the baby boy, to hold him close and keep him safe.

"This is Lisa." Carla smiled sadly as she produced a photo of a smiley little girl with a gap where her front teeth should have been. "This was three days before she...before she was taken."

"She's beautiful...she...looks like Charlie," she could barely speak, the little girl looked like her daughter too. "Uh, I should-"

"Olivia."

She looked up, shocked by the use of her real name.

"I...I'm sorry, I wasn't sure...I thought-" she watched as the other woman held her child, she was tenderly holding him but there was something else in her face, fear? She knew her baby was safe so she slowly sat down. "Did he...did he do that to you?" she asked, referring to her purple cheek.

"Uh..." she had lied to get into this woman's house, she was holding her baby and she wanted nothing more than to leave, to get out as quickly as possible before the tiny hole in her heart became a gaping black hole.

"I...I shouldn't have come here-" she lifted her arms, offering Carla the chance to take back her son.

"He likes you, you're okay," her voice was so soft it almost made Olivia feel like the situation was okay, made her believe that having an infant in her arms wasn't killing her, wasn't threatening to break her there an then.

"I can't-" please, please take him.

"Charlie is a good man Olivia, and I believe he loves you but...he's a very hard man to love back. He spoke about you a lot, and...he said you were pregnant..."

There it was, the final shot. Olivia closed her eyes, "I'm not...anymore..." as she spoke Tommy began to fuss. "Uh..."

"It's okay, he likes it if you hold him close to your chest..." she smiled as Olivia hesitantly pulled Tommy closer until his belly was against her chest and his head was resting on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for your loss, and uh...if I know Charlie he took it hard? The miscarriage?"

"Uh, yeah..." she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think...what was she doing?

"Can I..." Carla took a deep breath, scared of just how uncomfortable Olivia looked. "I had to get out before he dragged me into the hell that he was in and as much as I will always love him...he needs help and I won't ask if he hit you again, it doesn't matter. The fact that your here tells me that he's gone again and if you don't want to sink with him you should get out while you can, it' nearly killed me...he was the father of my daughter but look at everything I have now?"

"He...he's beautiful..." he heart was slowly breaking, the feel of the little boy gently snoozing on her shoulder was something she had craved for nearly five months and now she had it with someone else's baby it remonded her of exactly what she was missing out on. "I should go-"

"I'm sorry about your baby Olivia, I am." Carla gently took Tommy into her arms and immediately Olivia felt empty and like her heart had just been taken from her as well as the baby.

"Thank...thank you and I'm sorry for-"

"It's okay, you need someone who understands him...and I do. If you ever need to talk again..." she trailed off.

"Thank you."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot had been sat at his desk for exactly three hours. Thinking about the same thing over and over again. Where was she? It had been days since anyone had heard from her and he was terrified that she had done something stupid, that she was drunk somewhere...lonely somewhere...the thought nearly killed him. He looked up as he heard footsteps behind him.

"Stabler-"

"Don't!" he looked away, did the man have a death wish?

"I need to know she's okay, that's all I need just tell me-"

"What the hell is it to do with you?" Elliot stood up, fighting the tiny ounce of guilt he felt as he saw the injuries still apparent on Charlie's face. He could've killed him.

"I love her-"

"Shut up! Can you hear me? Shut the hell up!" he was going to hit him again, God help him. Did he not understand that he needed to leave Olivia alone?

"It's her!" Charlie was almost elated as he answered his ringing phone. "Hello...baby...where are you? Where?...Okay...Okay...okay I'll be there."

"Where is she?" Elliot asked, ready to strange the man for information on his partner.

"She's at her apartment, she wants to see me."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

They'd been sat in silence for nearly ten minutes. He'd tried to kiss her when he first arrived and she stepped away, he understood, of course he did, he could still see the bruise on her face from where he'd lost control but he knew what this meant, she'd called him because she wanted to give him another chance, because she loved him...

"I..." she took a deep breath. "I think you should pack your things."

As the words exited her lips he felt as if he'd been shot in the chest. "W...what?"

"I...I know you probably haven't found a place yet but I...it's just easier if we don't prolong it-" she hated this, ever bone in her body wanted it to be over.

"Pro...prolong it? No, no, you...I can't...Liv..."

"I can't do this." She couldn't take any guilt, she couldn't take anything else, she knew she was on the verge of breaking down and she fully intended to be alone when it happened.

"I'm sorry okay, I'm sorry." He slowly walked towards her, placing his hands on the side of her face gently. "Tell me you know that I'm sorry, that I didn't mean it-"

"I know," she whispered, and she did. She closed her eyes as he ran his hands through her hair, pressing his forehead against hers as he whispered:

"I love you so much, so much. I can't lose you-"

"I can't do this, " she felt the tears begin to surface. "Please," she placed her hands on top of his.

"Think about our baby, think about Gracie, she wouldn't want this." He needed her he was so desperate, sober but desperate all the same.

"Don't." And with that the first tear fell.

"We can try again, we can have a baby, a beautiful baby and I'll-" he would do anything to make her see how much he truly loved and needed her, they could still have a great life together and he knew it.

"Stop it, please stop it." She slowly pushed him away from her. "I can't Charlie, I have tried everything...we were only together because of the baby-"

"no-"

"-and we don't have her anymore," it physically hurt to say those words but she needed him to understand. "I love you but I can't, you...you remind me of her...and I can't do it."

"I'll give you time-" he openly sobbed in front of her.

"No...no, please...please just go...please if you..." she swallowed her own sob as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. "If you ever loved me...you'll go."

"I did, you know I did-"

"Please Charlie you're killing me!" she brought her hand up to cover her face as she could no longer hide the sob. She couldn't take the constant pain any longer, she had to make it stop.

"I love you." As his lips pressed against her cheek she could only cry harder and listen to him leave...

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

"You sure you're okay?"

"If you ask me one more time this bottle...is going to go somewhere you really don't want it to go." She didn't even bother to smile, she wasn't even sure if she was joking.

"Okay," Elliot nodded, taking another swig from his bottle, he knew that she simply needed a silent drinking partner...in fact she probably didn't even want a drinking partner but it made him feel better knowing she was okay, and not alone...though there was still every chance that she was desperately lonely.

He was pretty sure that she was by now, drunk, and that he was on his way there. He wanted to drink himself into oblivion and had been fighting the urge to do so for nearly five months, scared that Olivia would have to clean up any mess he made during his state. "You want another?"

"That you can say, yes." She swallowed the final contents of her sixth bottle. It was still there, it wouldn't stop, the constant ache...although it was slightly less apparent after a few beers...there was only one thing to do... "Elliot, I want two!"

"Two...uh Liv-"

"No one asked you to be here, if you want to go-"

He had shown up at her apartment exactly fifteen minutes after Charlie had left and she was convinced he'd been sat outside the door the whole time but she didn't have the energy to be angry at him, or to tell him to stop following her as he walked alongside her silently when she left her apartment without a word.

"Okay, two it is." He knew it probably wasn't the best idea to let her get this drunk but at least he was with her, he could make sure that she was okay. He walked towards the bar and ordered the four beers, looking behind him a few times to make sure she hadn't gone. He was going to help her through it, whether she wanted him there or not there was no way he was leaving her to cope alone...

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEO

"I can't carry us both..." he slurred, struggling to support her full weight as he searched for her keys.

"Just carry me then..." she mumbled, her closed eyes almost convincing him that she'd fallen asleep. She took a deep breath and suddenly pushed herself away from him, attempting to stand on her own. She failed. Luckily he just about caught her as she fell.

"Come on," he finally found the key and after a few attempts managed to open the door, pulling her inside praying his own balance would hold out. They had been drinking for six hours straight, every time he wanted them to pack up and head home she would order more drunks and he'd silently promised that he would stay with her all night. He knew that the brave face...the stern face she was putting on was all for show and that the moment he left she would crumble...he wanted to be there for that moment and he sensed it was about to come.

"I'm coming on...you are bossy." She took a deep breath before falling backwards onto her sofa, narrowly hitting the target, very nearly landing on her back on the very hard floor. "Why are you so god dammed drunk Elliot!" she brought a hand up to cover her face.

"Do you need some...water?" he spun around looking for a glass. He found one, the one that he'd inadvertently send flying to the ground as he turned. "Sorry..."

"That was my favourite vase!" she sat up slowly, her slurring words one of the many signs of her inebriation.

"It was a glass, calm down..." he waved her back to the sofa as he bent down and tried to clear the glass, he knew he was drunk...he simply wanted to pass out but Olivia was in a worse state than him and he wanted to make sure she didn't get hurt.

"Then it was my favourite glass you asshole..." she stumbled towards him, crouching next to him for about three seconds before landing on her ass.

"Liv! Ow, dammit!" Elliot dropped the offending piece of glass and brought his bleeding finger towards his mouth. He slowly stood up, struggling not to join her on the floor as the room began to spin, why the hell did he match her every drink? He was supposed to stay sober.

"Don't shout at me!" she tried to pull away as he hauled her off of the ground.

"You're going to hurt yourself, it's broken glass-"

"I can see what it is," she swayed slightly as she finished her sentence, of course that was a lie...she could barely see past the end of her nose but he didn't need to know that. "Are...you're bleeding..." she frowned as blood dripped onto the floor.

"I'll live."

"You will...you'll live." The sadness simply wouldn't leave her alone. She felt the tears threatening to appear and she wanted to scream.

"Hey..." Elliot placed a gentle hand on her arm.

"No," she pulled away and shook her head. "No it's fine but you need a plaster...I don't have any-"

"I don't need a god dammed plaster would you look at me," he placed his hands, minus the bloody finger, on the sides of her face. "It's okay to cry."

"I'm not." A single tear slipped down her cheek.

"Talk to me, talk to me," he urged, praying she would finally talk knowing that she would never open up to him without the amount of alcohol she had consumed. She closed her eyes briefly, swaying despite his hold. "You can say anything to me you know that-"

He froze as she slowly leant towards him, her lips pressed against his for less than a second but it nearly blew his mind. His heart beat was suddenly the only thing he could hear as her eyes fluttered closed. "Uh..."

She fisted the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer again, she didn't want to talk, she didn't want to cry she wanted to forget. The kiss lasted longer this time and for a second he could have sworn he felt her tongue tracing the outline of his bottom lips. Before his brain had time to register what was happening her lips were on his again and there was no mistaking the feel of her tongue as it plunged inside his mouth as her hands roamed his body.

He couldn't think...This needed to stop...He couldn't quite remember why but he knew it had to... "Liv," he started.

"Shut up," she ordered, it was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard. That was the last coherent thought he had as her hands reached his belt...

What do you think he will do? WOuld love to hear your thoughts x x