Law POV

When Law awoke, he had a moment of confusion as to where he was. He felt achy and stiff, but his face felt cool. But after recognising the feel of his own sheets around him, he relaxed back into the pillows with a sigh, closing his eyes again. There was the faintest trace of a headache.

All Law remembered from yesterday was staggering to his bed with a fussy Shachi hovering over him. He was aware that his illness must have gotten worse if his memories were affected. Everything else was a dark cloud, filled with confusion and blurry recollections of pain and cold touches.

The sound of heavy footsteps in the corridor roused him from his dozing state, and he frowned through slitted eyes as his door was pushed open cautiously. Light from the doorway filled the room, and Law blinked with a quiet grunt.

"Law?" A careful voice called out.

"Yes, Bart-ya?" His voice was barely there, and his throat stung a little.

"Ah!" His crewmate gasped quietly. "You're finally awake. And aware, too." Law shifted, frowning in slight confusion.

"Aware?"

"Yeah, your fever got so bad that, well..." Jean Bart approached in the dim light. "That you had no idea what was going on." Law blinked at his crew mate, a little shocked. He hadn't expected to hear that his illness had worsened to such an extent as delirium.

"Is that so? Well, I'm sorry if I caused any-" But Law's apology was cut short by a soft mumble to his left. Slowly, Law turned his head, and nearly jumped as his heart skipped a beat. Rose was curled up on a chair at the side of the bed, one of her legs resting languidly on the bedside table. Her blonde hair, a little in disarray, fell across her bare shoulders. Her face looked peaceful in sleep, her dark lashes and pink lips standing out. Law felt himself draw a sharp breath.

"What is she doing here?" He whispered, staring at her. She shouldn't be here. There was a stony silence from Jean Bart for a second.

"You weren't getting better." He said. "She said she could help." Law turned to stare icily at Jean Bart as he sat up.

"You disobeyed my orders?" Jean Bart frowned.

"Yes, for your own good!" He growled. Law scowled.

"That's not for you to decide." Law didn't like how defensive he was sounding. "She could have gotten sick!"

"It was her that made you better!" He raised his voice.

There was a slow intake of breath from Rose, and Law's head snapped back to the girl relaxing in the chair beside him. Her brown eyes fluttered open innocently, and she blinked a few times before focusing her attention on Law. He felt a shiver go down his spine as he gazed into her hazel eyes, his heart beating a little too fast for comfort.

She then sat up completely straight, tense as she stared at Law with wide eyes. She cocked her head ever so slightly.

"Law?" She asked softly, leaning closer. "Are you feeling better?" Law swallowed, nodding. The edge of her mouth curled in a relieved smile, a breath escaping from her lips. A strange tension appeared between the two of them after a few seconds. Rose seemed to sense it, as she averted her eyes to the ground, biting her lip slightly. "That's...that's good..."

"Thank you Rose." The words tumbled from his mouth as soon as they formed in his mind, and he tensed up. He hadn't meant to thank her. He had meant to tell her that she shouldn't be in the room with him. You'll get sick, get out quickly - but instead of a stern reply, a soft voice poured from his mouth.

Timidly, Rose brushed a few strands of her long flowing hair behind her ear, a charming blush gracing her cheeks. Law couldn't help the squirming of his insides as he fought the temptation to murmur again to her.

"It's nothing..." That shy smile again. Brown eyes melted into grey ones. "You were sick." Looking away quickly, feeling a little warm, Law swept his eyes across what lay on his bedside table. A bowl filled with water, a damp cloth resting over the rim. An empty glass.

"It was very surprising how much she helped," Jean Bart said behind him. "She got your fever right down, just through cold water." Law had to admit, he was impressed, but he wasn't going to show it. He had never thought that cold water could cool down the body's temperature so much.

"I did nothing special," she gave the smallest of amused huffs. "Just washing, really."

She washed me. His heart thumped. She touched me. Breathing deeply before turning back to her, Law spoke.

"You should leave, Rose." He wanted her to stay. Very much so. If Jean Bart hadn't had been here, Law was with little doubt that he'd have asked her to stay. But she couldn't - and not just for her own sake. Law was having a hard time distancing himself from her right now. Her body was in a half-reclined position, one of her feet resting on the seat of the chair with her eyes locked with his - flickering with concern and uncertainty, they were captivating.

She nodded quickly at his dismissal, getting somewhat clumsily to her feet. She was still blushing. Law's eyes followed her as she slipped through the open door into the corridor, and out of sight. Law felt himself relax then, no longer feeling torn between his desires and his thoughts. He looked at Jean Bart then, who was watching Law with a strange expression. Law knew what his crew mate was trying to do - to pry his thoughts open.

"Thirsty?" Law nodded calmly. "Let's go get something, then. You can stretch your legs."

After pulling on his hoodie, Law got out of bed with a little difficulty - he wasn't fully recovered, and so his limps felt a little shaky, but he managed to get to the kitchen without any help from the wall or his companion.

He sipped on a glass of ice-cold water as he sat at the counter, allowing the coolness to sooth him from the inside. It was peaceful, just the two of them. Law felt some of the tension in his shoulders finally seep out of his body, and he let out a small sigh.

"Are we just going to ignore what happened back there?" Jean Bart suddenly spoke, breaking the silence. At his words, Law's insides clenched in anxiety. The memory of the bar flashed before his eyes, when he had been taunted into a nervous breakdown. What is this about? He looked up at the older crew mate, trying to keep his expression blank, even though inside his heart began to pound. Don't you dare mention her.

"Nothing happened, Bart-ya." He said, trying to sound dismissive. The other man barked a harsh laugh, but it wasn't in amusement.

"Cut the crap, Law." He muttered, staring at Law with a piercing gaze that made Law freeze. "Just give up this act already." His hand unwillingly gripped at his mug. What? He felt his anxiety rise. And he knew Jean Bart could sense it.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Law feigned innocence, feeling very uneasy. In reality, he already knew what this was about - his interaction with Rose just now. Law knew he had been staring, and that his tone had been too soft. Shit, he cursed himself for being careless. He was not ready to admit anything yet. Jean Bart continued to stare at him.

"I'm talking about your goddamn feelings for Rose, that's what!" He hissed back, clearly irritated. Law's eyes widened, feeling his breath catch. Fuck.

"You're talking shit," Law growled defensively, heart beginning to race in his chest. "I don't have any feelings for her."

"Oh, you don't, do you?" Jean Bart sat back in his chair. But he was still giving Law that damned look that made him feel entirely exposed. "Tell me, then. Did you enjoy kissing her?"

It felt like his stomach had fallen out of his body. His heart skipped a beat in pure shock. No. He felt mortified. He...he knows!? He wasn't supposed to know that. Nobody was. Nobody nobody nobody, only her and me, me and her.

"What?" He breathed, glaring at Jean Bart, feeling his fists clench in panic. Don't let him know. But he knew, deep down, that he couldn't get out of this one. His crew mate's mouth curled up into a smile that Law didn't like at all.

"Don't play dumb." He continued. "Rose told me what happened. How you initiated it, in the laboratory."

Law continued to stare, feeling his stomach turn to lead. Then, a sense of hopelessness descended on him, and his gaze dropped to the table. And it was then that he knew it was game over. His secret was out. Jean Bart knew. He grimaced, turning away from his crew mate. To say he was humiliated was an understatement.

"Well tell me, Law. Did you like it?"

"Don't push me, Bart-ya." He warned quietly through gritted teeth, gripping his mug so tightly that his knuckles were beginning to turn red. Jean Bart fell silent then. They remained like that for a few moments. Law's stomach was flipping, his heart was pounding, his head swimming. He was panicking. He rarely felt helpless, but right now, he had no idea what to do, what to say. Nobody was supposed to know. Nobody.

"Did you honestly think that none of us would notice?" Jean Bart spoke again, leaning closer. Nobody should know. "Did you really think you had your tracks covered-"

Law snapped.

"What do you want me to say, Bart-ya!?" He yelled, turning his burning eyes on his crew mate. "Do you want me to say that I hoped nobody would find out? That I wanted to take it to my grave? That I spent every god-damn moment wishing that I didn't feel this way!?" He stood. He was burning up. "I failed, okay?" He spat. "I failed to conceal it. I failed to move past it. Don't you think I know that already!?"

He drew in a deep breath, panting. Why was he shaking? He glared at his crew mate. What did he think of him now? "I tried to forget her," he hissed acidically, gripping the edge of the table in a shaky grip. "But I couldn't! And it scared me, alright? It scared me shitless that I couldn't. So forgive me if I didn't want you reminding me of how much I fucked up."

Silence descended on the room like a thick, suffocating fog. Law panted, trembling as he straightening his back. Jean Bart just watched him calmly. And it pissed Law off. He stood up and stalked to the fridge, grabbed a drink and popped the top off. Calm down, he chided himself as he took a long swig, the alcohol burning his throat. He needed space to breathe. He felt grilled.

"Why were you scared?" Jean Bart had followed him to the counter. Clearly Law wasn't off the hook yet. His crew mate's continued prodding made him flinch. He didn't like how exposed he felt. Turning, Law took another long swig from his drink. It wasn't calming him down in the slightest. Jean Bart caught his defiant look, and sighed. "Why are you so afraid to feel this way?"

"Because," Law murmured coolly. "I can't allow myself to. I just can't."

"Why not?"

"Why do you fucking think?" Law bristled angrily. "Have you forgotten my vendetta?"

"Calm down, Law," Jean Bart eased quietly, hands motioning to relax. Law found his anxiety being eased slightly, despite his glare. "Of course I haven't forgotten. But I don't see why you can't continue your mission to kill Doflamingo, and have something with Rose as well." Law huffed.

"It would be a distraction. And she would be a weakness." Jean Bart paused then.

"Fine." He murmured, and Law thought he had finally escaped the questions. But then he threw a curveball. "But just imagine how good it would be if something happened between you and Rose."

At his words, Law's imagination immediately jumped into play without his consent. He imagined Rose curled up against him, their bodies pressed close as she gazed happily at him, a soft smile gracing her face. Law's heart fluttered, and he unconsciously stopped breathing for a moment. He was entranced. He imagined leaning closer, cupping her jaw in his hand and pressing his lips against hers. But not teasingly short, like the one they had shared a few days ago. No, this kiss was exactly what he craved deep inside.

Law blinked out of his trance, and his face felt hot. Ducking his head, he bit his lip ever so slightly. Fuck, he wanted that. How could he deny it to himself? He heard a soft chuckle from his crew member.

"I take it you don't want to share what played in your head." Law didn't say anything. Feeling like he needed to sit down, he brushed past Jean Bart on his way back to the table. He was trying to file his buzzing thoughts into understandable pieces of information. "So why does that, whatever it is, scare you so much?" Law grimaced.

"She doesn't feel the same way." Jean Bart tutted.

"That's not true, and you know it." He was right. Law wasn't oblivious to her glances, her blushes. He had suspected it, but had ignored his intuition. "So why are you so afraid to love her?"

Law felt his stomach squirm. His mind was reeling. He was having trouble thinking straight.

"Because I know how much trouble it spells for me," he said, his voice uncharacteristically shaky, "and yet I still want it so badly. It scares me because it turns my reason upside down. My mind is telling me so many reasons why it shouldn't be, why it can't be, but I'm ignoring them. And I hate it."

"What are they?"

Law hissed in despair, rubbing his face. His emotions really were running high. "Doflamingo...I can't let this get in my way. I can't let it stop me." Jean Bart remained silent for a second. Law knew his eyes were fixed on him.

"How would it get in the way?"

Law felt heart begin to pound painfully in his chest. How indeed. He really didn't want to answer. But he had to.

"Because," Law breathed, staring at the table. "When I meet that bastard face to face..." Just say it. "I can't have a single trace of fear in my body. I need to face him being prepared..." The words weren't coming. He swallowed.

"To what?"

Pounding heart, clenched fists.

"Prepared to die."

Silence. Law forced himself to continue.

"I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know how strong he is. But all I know is that, when I see that man, that disgusting piece of shit that ruined my life, I can't have anything in the back of my mind, holding me back. I have to be ready to die." Law took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. "But I can't if she's in my mind." Then he looked at his crew mate with great difficulty.

What he saw shocked him. Jean Bart wasn't looking at him in horror, in anger, in pity. No prejudice at all. Instead, he had a calm gaze as he watched Law. After a pause, he spoke.

"I understand." Law turned back to his hands, the strange urge to smile tickling his cheeks. Reassurance was something he had been in need of lately. It hadn't been easy to reveal that. He was glad Jean Bart had not reacted more explosively. He knew it wasn't out of apathy that Jean Bart was so calm, even though Law had just expressed compliance to death. It was because his companion had faith in him. "Do tell me though - what else is holding you back." Law sighed, frowning. He was still uncomfortable with opening up to Jean Bart, especially about matters of the heart.

"A lot of things, Bart-ya." He said wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "She makes me want to change."

"Change?" His companion prodded, and Law tensed up.

"You know what I'm capable of. You've seen it." Jean Bart nodded. "It's that that has kept me alive this whole time. It's my ruthless cruelty. I've been forced to adapt to my surroundings and that is how I did so."

"I understand, but what is this thing about change?" Law shook his head.

"Despite everything that has happened to her, Rose is still so innocent. Her outlook on life is...remarkably pure. But it doesn't strike me as naive. And when I am with her, her goodness touches me - I forget how cruel the world really is. And I feel filthy in comparison. And I hate it, because I know that I need to be tough to carry out my revenge. I hate that I want to change for her, to become good enough for her."

Law buried his face in his hands then, humiliated. Voicing his thoughts was causing his anxiety to rise. But it was all coming out now.

"It's not just my attitude that I want to change either! I've never felt the need to be affectionate, but when I am around her, I want to be gentle, and loving. But I can't afford to feel such things. I have to kill Doflamingo. I know this and yet it doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do."

Jean Bart did not try and interrupt him, and Law was grateful. He had to tell someone. It was eating him up alive.

"Not only this, but I cannot see two people like ourselves ever having a successful relationship. She has a good heart, and I don't. When I first saw her, and realised how pure and innocent she was, my first feeling was that of envy. My first thought was 'I want to corrupt her'. I am not good for her - we couldn't mix. I would destroy all that is good in her."

Law paused here, and looked up at Jean Bart. He was watching Law with a strange expression.

"And I keep forgetting how young she is." Law clenched his fist again. "I'd bring too much danger into her life."

At this, Jean Bart gave a huff. "I think her age is the least of your worries." Law gave him a glower then. "Yet it seems like what you're facing here is a battle between what your mind is telling you is wrong, and what you truly want." Law tsked.

"Evidently." Jean Bart held up a hand.

"Your main reason for resisting her is because you want complete focus on your revenge on Doflamingo, and you fear that if you were to get involved with her, not only would it distract you from your goal, but you fear that in giving into your desires, your ruthless attitude that you think has brought you so far will disappear. But you're also concerned by the fact that you and Rose couldn't mix, and that there would be a serious backlash if you two were to get too close."

Law nodded, feeling tense. That was pretty much it. Jean Bart took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair. He seemed to be thinking about what to say next.

"I understand." He said. "But can I give you my opinion now?"

Law worked his jaw. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt like he dearly needed advice right now. "Go ahead." Jean Bart cleared his throat.

"I think you're being a coward." Law froze, and then turned his head slowly to his crew mate. It took him a moment to formulate a response.

"Excuse me?" He hissed icily.

"Listen." Jean Bart said seriously, leaning closer. "I think you're being a coward because you're too afraid to let yourself feel anything for Rose because of the problems that might arise. I think that is foolish. Firstly, nothing is easy. You're going to have problems anyway getting revenge on Doflamingo. But to you, these problems are worth enduring in order to attain your goal. You think that killing the man you hate will bring you satisfaction and peace. But I'd like to explain to you what I have seen over the past few days. Maybe you haven't realised the affect she has already had on you."

"What do you mean, 'already'?" Law said quietly, staring at Jean Bart. He felt uneasy. His companion gave a small smile.

"You don't see it, do you?" Law continued to stare at him, tensed up. "Her presence over the past week has had a good effect on you. I've rarely seen you so relaxed and peaceful. You seem to calm down whenever she's in the room - it's like she grounds you to the present. And it reflects in the way you act with her - you're attentive to her, and you look out for her."

Law lowered his eyes, feeling his head swim. "I..." he tried to explain, but his voice seemed to leave him.

"Don't think of it as a negative thing," Jean Bart said. "I think it answers your worries. You're concerned that being with her will change you, or 'make you soft'. Judging by your interactions with her so far, it seems that, yes, whilst you'd most likely become more affectionate towards her, that doesn't mean you will become weak. On the contrary, having something that you truly want will only make you fight harder to defend it. The only reason her presence makes you feel conflicted and distracted at times is because you're resisting what you feel around her.

"It makes me sad that you're so hung up on revenge, Law. Not because I think your revenge is unjustified. Not at all - the reason behind your vendetta is arguably as honest and noble as such a thing can be. What makes me upset is that you're throwing away a chance at happiness in favour of your revenge. You think that killing Doflamingo will bring some peace and happiness to your life. Undoubtedly it will, but let me tell you - revenge is nowhere near as sweet as being with someone you love. People spend their entire lifetimes searching for love. And you, Law, have found it. And you're throwing it away. When you think about what it would be like to have her, do you really want to throw that away?

"I know Rose feels exactly the same as you do. I'm not telling you to choose between revenge and love, Law. You can have both. The only question is, are you prepared to handle both?"

Law didn't know what to say. He was staring at Jean Bart, no doubt with astonishment in his eyes. What worried Law the most was that his words made complete and utter sense. He wanted to tell her how he felt. The urge to do so was nearly overwhelming. And as he thought about it, with Jean Bart's words echoing around his head, it suddenly became clear.

He slowly lowered his gaze to the table. The truth was, he knew he didn't have the self-control to shun her any further. And now he realised that he didn't have to anymore.

"You don't have to be afraid to love, Law. She will make you happy beyond imagination. And you of all people deserve that."

His words struck a chord.

I deserve happiness?

Law had always thought happiness was something out of reach for him. Fate had forever seemed his greatest enemy, always pointing her poison-filled sword towards his throat. And yet here she was, practically forcing Rose into his life, into his heart.

And here he was, trying to push Rose back, when in reality, all he wanted to do was squeeze her against himself and never let go.

A wry smile then twisted its way onto his face. He now knew he had to tell her how he felt. After all, who was he to deny Fate's wishes? Furthermore...

...who was he to deny his own wishes?

~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Yey, for Law chapters! :D

I LOVE writing as Law. It's so clinical and single-minded, yet so emotionally tense too! This was so much fun to write, especially the interaction between Jean Bart and Law. I love the tension between the two! But don't fret - they do not hate each other. They are just both very strong-willed!

Thanks to all of you who have left a review/followed/favourite! It really means so much to me to read what you think! After all, I'm not just writing this for me - reading your comments is what pushes me to write and update! Love you all 3

Next update soon - you're not going to want to miss this one ;)