Disclaimer: See Chapter 11

Kiss And Control

Evan sat alone in the hotel lobby, sighing as another lonely car rolled past outside the giant window next to his chair. He'd been sitting in the lobby ever since the complete mess that had happened at the hospital. He sighed again, rolling his phone around in his hands. He'd already called Jake once, getting no answer.

A sudden ringing filled the silent lobby and caused Evan to jump before answering without looking.

"Hello?"

"Hey Evan," Matt's soft voice came, making Evan jump up and run to the elevator. "How've you been?"

Evan pushed the up button. "Okay, I guess. It's late over there isn't it?" he asked, trying to ignore his heart racing so fast. "Not that I'm not happy to hear from you, ya know?" He paused, sighing.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked, his voice showing concern for the other man.

Evan sighed again, thinking about what had happened at the hotel.

He and Jake had caught a cab over to the hospital, both running up to see where Nikki was, Brie and Nick outside the room, Brie in tears and hysterics while Nick just held her to his chest.

"Where is she?" Jake asked, letting go of Evan hand just as they walked up, his blue eyes locked with Nick's. "How is she?"

Brie looked up and hugged Jake tightly. "She's fading in and out but the doctors got her stomach pumped in time and they said that she should be okay," Brie explained, pulling away and pulling Jake inside Nikki's room.

Evan stood there in silence a foot or so from Nick. He was looking down at his feet, wondering why he'd went with Jake in the first place. It wasn't like Nikki liked him, hell she didn't even want him around Jake, let alone her hospital room.

"You know he means the world to her," Nick said, walking over to Evan and resting a hand on the smaller man's shoulder. "She loves him. I don't know why you would pretty much up and steal Jake away from her, like some homewrecking whore."

Evan's heart thumped hard in his chest, the words hitting him hard. "I didn't steal him away Nick," he whispered, looking up at the blond, his dark eyes on fire. "He came to me, I didn't do anything to break them up."

Brie exited the room, leaving Jake alone with Nikki. "How could you!" she snapped, pushing her boyfriend out of the way and grasping Evan by his shoulders. She began to shake him, the tears getting harder. "How could you do this to her! She could be dead you little prick! It's your fault my sister did this to herself. I hate you! I fucking hate you! Just a little slut like she said, taking anyone out to get to Jake like a little gutter rat!"

Evan was in shock, his heart hurting. He pulled away, Nick yanking her off of him. "I didn't… it wasn't supposed to… I… I'm so sorry Brie," he tried, unsure of what to say and sure that him going along was nothing but a mistake.

"Sorry!" she cried incredulously, jerking out of Nick's embrace. She slapped Evan across the face, making his cheek sting with pain, leaving a red hand print. "You don't know how sorry you'll be you little bastard! Get the hell away from here! Rot in hell for all I care!"

Evan backed away, seeing the fire in both Brie and Nick's eyes. He turned, deciding not to say another word. He walked back to the lobby before deciding to walk back to the hotel. This only lasted for about half the trip when a taxi pulled up to him and asked if he would like a ride back to where he was going and Evan accepted.

"Evan?" Matt asked for the third time, afraid of what was going on. "Evan!"

Evan shook his head, the daze wearing off. "I'm sorry. I just spaced out," he answered, the doors dinging on his floor. He walked out, looking down at the carpet under his feet. "Matt, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, what kind of question is that?" Matt was getting even more worried and he was debating whether or not to take the next flight to wherever Evan was, no matter the cost or time it took to get there.

"Would you miss me if I left?" he asked softly, unlocking his door, looking over the empty room, thinking that all his things were up in Jake's room.

"The business, of course I would. I mean I barely get to see Jeff, it would be hell to see you if you quit."

"No, I mean if I died," he was stoic, his eyes landing hard on the bed, his mind going a million miles a second. "Would you miss me, like really miss me?" He felt tears enter his eyes. He trudged over to the bed, the silence on the line leaving his mind to keep going through emotions he hadn't felt since he was a teenager. No one cared about him. No one really loved him. He really was everything that Mike had told him. He was nothing more than a little whore, a dick tease to be used and then left in the end for someone else. He was nothing more than an object, just some sex toy.

"Evan… Evan! EVAN!"

Evan hit the end button, dropping his phone and falling face first into the pillows, the tears falling as his mind took a turn for the worst. Would anyone miss him? Matt might for a little while, but he'd forgotten about him once, why wouldn't he do it again? Jake wouldn't care. He was too stuck on Nikki, no matter what he said, and the others in the locker room… most of them didn't even act like he existed. He sobbed into his pillow, wishing everything was a bad dream, that he was never born, that he'd never became a wrestler, that he would have listened to his father when he said he should get a real job and not chase silly little fantasies that would lead him no where.

Evan's phone sprang to life, ringing in a high pitched ringtone that hurt Evan's sensitive ears.

Evan got up, wiping his face off before answering it.

"Evan!" Jeff cried, his voice panicky. "Are you alright? You're not hurt are you? You haven't done anything to hurt yourself right?" he asked, a rustling sound of clothes and coats being pulled on.

"I'm fine," Evan murmured, plopping down on the end of his bed, his back slumped.

"I don't believe you at all!" Jeff snapped, a door slamming behind him.

"Where are you going so late?" Evan asked, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"To you. I'll be there in a few hours. Matt and I are on our way there so don't you dare move an inch before we get there. And so help me if you do, Evan."

Evan knew Jeff wasn't kidding. He agreed to stay put before saying that he would wait for them and he wouldn't do anything he would regret later. He hung up, only after hearing Matt in the background yell that he loved Evan and that he would always be there for him.

Evan tossed his phone away and curled up into a ball on the bed, uncaring of his clothes or that he was on top of the blankets. He groaned, closing his eyes and trying to push his thoughts away.

After a few moments of it completely not working, he got back up and went into the bathroom, looking himself over in the full wall mirror above the sink and counter.

Evan's eyes looked all over himself. His own dark eyes, moody with his depressed state, his brown ruffled hair, nothing too special, his lightly tanned skin, nothing special about that either. He was short, not as fit as he could be, skinny. He hated it, he hated what he looked like, he hated everything about himself. He felt tears start to slip down his cheeks as he sniffled and looked down to his feet, then back up. He wasn't special, hell he wasn't anything to even look twice at. He wasn't like Jake, tall and handsome and country. He wasn't like Mike, charismatic, up in your face with a lot of confidence. Hell he wasn't even like Jeff. He wasn't pretty and he couldn't pull off anything if he wanted to. He was nothing compared to his friends and ex's. He wasn't anything… And he hated it.

He wanted to change it, he really did. He sighed, walking away and going back to his bed. He laid down, looking emotionlessly at the wall while time passed and his mind was finally too numb to think.

Jeff was fiddling with his fingers on the plane, as they were about to land. "You don't think Evan would hurt himself do you?" he asked, looking over at his brother, the older male looking out the window, his lower lip sucked into his mouth, his white teeth knawing on the sensitive flesh. "Matty?"

"I hope he doesn't do anything stupid. I wouldn't be able to handle seeing Evan like that, not again," he whimpered, closing his eyes and sighing. "I'm going to kill Jake. I know it had something to do with him." He looked over at Jeff, his eyes completely serious. "When we land you call Evan and see where he is, because I'll break down if I do it."

Jeff nodded. He didn't want Evan to hurt himself in any way, shape, or form. He only hoped that Evan wouldn't be in some strange mood when they got there either, he knew what those moods were like when you just didn't want to live anymore. He remembered those days.

Once they landed and Jeff got the hotel name and room number out of Evan it was only a few minutes before they were knocking on the door to Evan's room.

Evan opened the door, his eyes droopy from lack of real sleep. He yawned, turning away from them without a hello and going back to the bed. He flopped down onto the blankets and curled back into a ball.

Matt and Jeff stepped in, Matt motioning for Jeff to wait for a moment by the now closed door.

Matt walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed and resting a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Evan," he whispered, leaning over the smaller man to look into the dark eyes. "Evan are you okay?"

Evan shook his head. "Nikki tried to kill herself last night. Jake never came back from the hospital… What's the point of loving someone that doesn't even care to call you back after fourteen hours?" he murmured, his eyes focused on the wall across the room from him.

Jeff took a step closer. "You haven't been to sleep yet, have you?" he asked softly, taking a few more steps closer. "How long have you been awake Evan?"

"Thirty hours. I got up yesterday at six and I just haven't been able to sleep… What's wrong with me? Matt… Jeff… no one cares what happens to me."

Matt threw his arms around Evan before turning him so they were face to face. "Evan I love you. I care about you and what happens to you. Don't talk like that, please!" he pleaded, stroking back the soft brown hair of his ex-lover. "Jesus Evan."

Evan was limp in Matt's strong arms. He was too drained to fight or do anything to push the other man away. "I miss feeling loved…" he whispered, looking up into the kind brown eyes above him. "I miss feeling like Jake cared about me…."

Matt held Evan to him closer, pressing kiss after kiss to Evan's cheek and over his face. "We care Evan. We really do. I care…. Evan I love you, please, snap out of it."

Jeff waited, watching as Matt cradled Evan. "I'm going to get Melina," he mouthed to his brother before turning on his heels and leaving the two to be alone.

Matt looked down into the blank face, and sighed. "Evan," he sighed, leaning in and pressing their lips together. He waited, the tender lips forming to his after a moment. He smiled slightly, holding Evan closer to him as they kissed chastely. When he pulled away a few moments later, Matt looked into the tear filled brown orbs. "Are you okay Evan?"

Evan shook his head, trying to shake off the depressive spell he had. "I feel useless, like it doesn't matter how I feel. I get told all the time that I broke Jake and Nikki up, but Jake broke it off with her before we even decided to be together. I don't know what's going on. It's like I'm nothing but some toy to be used and left behind. I hate it Matt. I hate life right now."

Matt nodded, holding Evan to his chest until there was a knock at the door. He eased Evan back onto the bed, before opening the door and seeing Melina and Eve on Jeff's heels as they came barreling in, Eve and Melina going over to talk to Evan quietly.

Jeff waited at the door, holding Matt's arm to keep him from intruding on the girls and Evan talking. "He needs them more than he needs us," Jeff said softly, leading him and Matt out into the hall, making sure to leave the door cracked just enough so they weren't locked out.

"What makes you say that?" Matt asked, wanting to be in there with his former lover. He turned to Jeff, fire in his eyes. Evan needed him no matter what his little brother had to say.

Jeff sighed, looking down at his feet. "He needs Jake really," he whispered, looking up into the seething dark brown eyes. "Hear me out Matt."

Matt crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at his little brother skeptically.

"You left him all that time ago. He remembers that. It's only going to fuel his depression with you there telling him you love him. And I'm not in the WWE anymore, that and you're my brother. He's going to think about you with me around. Matt… please… just listen to me. I know what he's going through."

Matt sighed, remembering when Jeff was depressed and on drugs. He could kill that asshole that had played with Jeff's heart. "He means too much to me to be hurt like this," he murmured, pushing open the door enough to look in on the other man. "I know Eve and Melina will take care of him but… I still love him Jeff."

Jeff nodded. "I know Matt. I know."

Eve wrapped her arms around Evan, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his head as he rumbled on about what had happened at the hospital and why Nikki was there.

Eve growled, "She had to know someone was going to find her. She's too vain to actually do something like that."

Melina nodded, already knowing what Nikki had done when Brie had called the night before. "Listen Evan. We're going to work something out. We will. I promise," she cooed, stroking his hair back and hugging him closer to her. "

Evan nodded, getting up and out of Melina and Eve's arms. He walked over to Matt, looking up into the dark eyes. A silent tear slipped down his cheek as he leaned in, wrapping his arms around Matt's waist and planting a firm kiss on the soft lips he'd once loved so much.

(A/N): Sorry about the late updates everyone! I've been so swamped with work, school, and life. It's just been a tiring time right now. But very soon, as soon as these finals are over, I'm going to be able to going back to writing all the time whenever I want. Anyway, past all that. The plot is thickening. Evan feels so unloved and alone, Matt and Jeff are trying to be there, and Melina and Eve are trying to be with him as well. Well, I don't have a lot to say so tell me what you think. Please and thank you! Title is Kiss and Control by AFI.

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