Chapter 12: Your heart is lost in a pool of sorrow

"LET ME GO IN!" I screach at the top og my lungs, "LET ME SEE HIM!" I yell even louder at all of the people in white suits. My eyes were blurry and it was hard for me to see everything.

Sora had collapsed, an ambulance came to get him, they left me sobbing on the dance floor and I wanted to run after them and tell them that I had to be by his side! They told me calm down and that he would be fine. They pushed me back as Soras un counscious body was taken away from me.

It was the worst experience in my life. Knowing that I may not be the first ine to be there when he wakes up. If he wakes up, that is. I was feeling so desperate and sad that I felt my first moment with him.

We were in the dark car and we started talking to each other. He seemed very weird at first but when I started to hear about his problems and his dreams I couldn't help but share everything with him.

"How long have you been in here?"

"12 minutes that felt like forever!"

I missed him. I loved him, I loathed the fact that I just stood there watching the cars pass me as they took him away.

"Miss?" Someone shook me, I looked around to see a nurse shaking me gently in a chair that I fell aslep in, "Miss? You can go see him now, but can you please tell me your position with him? Are you his sister? His friend?"

"I'm...I'm his girlfriend." I whisper and get uo to walk into his room slowly.

He layed there in peace with a small smile on his face. I sat on his bed next to him and stroked his hair slowly. He was in a state of deep counscience. The nurse told me that he constantly slipped in and out of counsciousness he could hear what people said to him, he could hear them, he just couldn't respond.

I smiled weakly, "So? You can hear me, huh, Sora?"

He smiled at my voice and I was happy that he could hear me. So I made the best of it and started to sing sweet disposition by Temper Trap. I took his hand in mine and started.

sweet disposition
never too soon
oh reckless abandon
like no one's
watching you

I paused and just skipped the chorus.

songs of desperation
I played them for you
a moment, a love
a dream, a laugh
a kiss, a cry
our rights, our wrongs
a moment, a love
a dream, a laugh
a moment, a love
a dream, a laugh

just stay there
cause i'll be comin over
and while our bloods still young
it's so young
it runs
and we won't stop til it's over
won't stop to surrender

I watched him breathe in and out as he smile faded into him trying to whisper, I leaned down to him desperately to hear his voice, even if he just said something I couldn't understand.

"Wh-who...are-...y...you?" I heard him croak.

"Sora, silly, it's me, Kairi. Stop playing around!" I say playfully.

"Who, who is-K-Kai-ri?" He whispered.

I let go of his hand.

Walked out of the room.

Out of the hospital.

Mindless.

I didn't know what I was doing.

I didn't see what was going on.

What did he mean? How coul he not know who I was? He had to be joking. He just had to be.

"Sora. What is happening?" I sigh driving a tad bit to fast, it was a 35 zone and I was going 65. I slowed down but was still at just 45. I could hear sirens behnd me and I stopped the car.

I don't remember, I didn't say anything. I was taken to the station and they called the mansion. Axel came to pick me up. I wasn't given a fine after Axel talked to the guy for a while. When I was home, I stumbled into my the bathroom and tried to grab the razor but someone stopped me, Roxas held my arm back, out of reach of the sharp object.

"Kairi, stop it!" Roxas grunted at me and pulled me back.

I didn't see what was happening before me. My body was just wildly hitting and slamming things around as I pleased. I couldn't hear what Roxas was saying to me. All I could do was sit back in my mind and watch. I didn't fightback to gain control over myself. I thought it would be useless.

I hit and bit Roxas and I could see him slapping me, I didn't feel anything. He shook me and my eyes were tired and sad.

He turned around and called someone in. Namine stepped inside and bent down to me.

She placed a finger over my lips and I hit at her.

I could see a part of her face turning red from my hit. She continued to look me in the eyes and I started to hear small parts of what she was saying.

"You...stop!...Not you...he's gone! He's gone!" She yelled at me and tears sprung from her eyes.

My head shot down and I blinked a couple of times before looking back up at her, "Who is gone?" I ask in my normal voice.

"Kairi!" She hugged me hard and I felt her sobs dropping to my shoulders.

"Who is gone?" I ask again.

"Sora, Sora is gone." She pulled herself back togethor and I stared at her.

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused, Sora was in a hospital. He was fine what was she talking about?

"Sora is gone. The hospital says he ran away and he should be dead by now."

"What? Why would...why would he be dead?" I whisper looking down at my hands.

"He needs to be taken care of, at this point he is crazy and will do anything reckless." She said to me.

"No, no, he's not dead, I kno that he is not dead!" I scream at them and run into the hall. I wouldn't sleep in my room, so I decided that I would sleep in Sora's room! I slammed the door behind me and burried my face into his bed sheets. They smelled just like him, it was all I needed.

"Kairi, Kairi, come out!" Knocks at the door brought me back to reality.

"What do you want?!" I yell at the shut door.

"HE IS NOT GOING TO COME BACK! YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT! Roxas screamed.

""NO!" I scream and sink deeper into his bed.

"He's right." A voice said next to me and I shot up to see Xion next to me.

"Ho-How did you get in here?!" I screech and scoot away from her.

She sighed, "Oh, Kairi, you didn't figure it out yet?" She asked me and I just stared at her.

Why do people always know before I do?!

But I knew one thing before everyone.

Sora is not dead. I feel his presence. He's not dead.

I will find him.