Harry lived the next month in constant worry, watching Draco waste away before his eyes. The blond was still missing from the castle for large chunks of each day according to map searches; Harry was fearful that he was back in the forest receiving more reprimand for whatever he was or was not supposed to be doing. The Gryffindor constantly watched the map, so as to be by Draco's side as much as he could when Harry did know where he was. Whether forcing him to eat or walking to and from class with him, Harry loved to see Draco light up behind his eyes when he saw Harry coming toward him.
They shared a few moments together in abandoned classrooms, exchanging kisses, far from the prying eyes of other students. Harry wondered at the softness of Draco's skin, the perfection of his lips, reveling that he had finally attained what he had spent months dreaming about.
But Harry was also constantly fretful, wanting to help Draco but knowing that he couldn't. The blond was almost skeletal in his thinness, and Harry worried each day that he wasn't taking care of himself enough.
Harry dragged Draco into an empty classroom one day when they were on their way to Transfiguration. Draco smiled as Harry shut the door behind them, coming forward and pressing his mouth against Harry's. Harry slid his arms around Draco's waist, pressing their bodies together.
They came apart a few minutes later, gasping for breath. Draco's cheeks were bright pink, and there was a glimmer of hope hidden behind his blue eyes that Harry hadn't seen in months.
"What's with you today, Dray?" Harry asked, reaching up to cup the blond's face in his hands. "You almost look, dare I say it, happy."
"Course I'm happy," Draco said, looking down at him. "I have you. And everything's going to be ok."
Harry looked deep into Draco's eyes, trying to read that mind. "Everything's going to be ok?"
Draco swallowed hard and nodded. The blond perched on one of the long tables at the front of the classroom. Harry came up in front of him, climbing onto his lap, and pushing Draco onto his back with the force of his kiss.
Minutes passed. Harry finally sat up, looking at his watch. "We are going to be so late for class," he mused, and swung himself off the table. Draco followed him, standing quickly. He gasped quietly, faltering; he would have fallen if Harry had not turned quickly and caught him.
"Are you ok?" Harry asked worriedly, as Draco pressed both hands to the sides of his head.
Draco nodded, his eyes closed. "I just got light headed. I'm fine now." He gave Harry a weak smile. The Gryffindor was unconvinced, but stepped away from Draco, allowing him to stand on his own. Harry started walking towards the door, but Draco's voice stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Harry, you love me, right?"
"You know I do."
"What if I… if I did something bad? Would you still love me, then?"
"Dray, I'll love you no matter what."
"Promise me."
Harry strode forward and, standing on his tiptoes, kissed Draco deeply. "Is that promise enough?"
Draco nodded. Harry took his hand, entwining his fingers with Draco's, and led him into the hallway. Class had started a few minutes earlier, so the halls were deserted. Harry and Draco walked along, hand in hand. Harry felt liberated to flaunt their love in the open, even though no one was about to see it. Or they thought no one was about.
A body pushed itself roughly between Harry and Draco, breaking their hand holding. Harry registered the person as Blaise. The Slytherin turned and stuck his face in Draco's.
"You're a fucking traitor," he spat, before walking away.
Draco watched him go, lips parted, eyes downcast.
"Hey," Harry said, taking both of Draco's hands in his own. "Don't listen to him. You're worth so much more than he is."
Draco nodded, looking unconvinced. They continued their trek to Transfiguration.
As the class sat scribbling notes of McGonagall's lecture, Harry's mind raced within him as he watched Draco from across the room. This has gone too far. I love him, but I don't think keeping his secret is helping him. Dumbledore is the most powerful wizard in the world. He'll protect Draco. We'll figure things out. I just can't deal with this on my own anymore. He nodded to himself, deciding to go to Dumbledore and tell him that Draco was a Death Eater as soon as class was out.
Harry hurried toward Dumbledore's office directly after class.
Dumbledore was standing at the window looking out at the grounds, a long, black traveling cloak in his arms.
"Well, Harry, I promised that you could come with me."
Malfoy stepped forward, glancing around quickly to check that he and Dumbledore were alone…
Harry stood, frozen and invisible, staring up at the terrified face of Draco. The words he exchanged with Dumbledore were muffled in Harry's mind; he could only see Draco's eyes, his fear. What if I… if I did something bad? Would you still love me, then? echoed through Harry's mind. The question still stood: would he love Draco if the boy killed Dumbledore? It was too much to fathom, he thought, as tears slid down his cheeks.
Other Death Eaters appeared. How did they get it?
And finally, Snape.
"Severus, please."
A flash of green.
Harry collapsed to his knees as the petrifying charm broke. Dumbledore dead? Impossible. Harry looked up just in time to see Draco being dragged away by his fellow Death Eaters. No, that was too much. It was all too much. Adrenaline sped through his veins and a numb buzzing filled his ears as Harry staggered to his feet, still hidden beneath the invisibility cloak, and followed the Death Eaters down into the castle.
Mayhem was happening somewhere, with crashes and yells echoing through the stone hallways. The group made their way efficiently downward, unaware of their invisible tagalong. They passed duels and bodies lying crumpled on the flagstone floors. Harry hardly had eyes for any of this, watching the blond head bob along in front of him, held by Snape's side by one claw-like hand around his shoulders.
Once out of the castle, hurrying down the castle stairs, Harry caught a glimpse of Dumbledore's body where it had fallen. Anger filled him to his fingertips and he ripped off the Invisibility Cloak, sprinting after the group of Death Eaters, wanting to avenge, wanting to kill…
He sent a silent stunning spell at the back of Snape's head, but it missed, ruffling his greasy hair as it passed only an inch from his ear. He turned quickly, as did the rest of the dark wizards, drawing wands, ready to face the enemy.
"Traitor!" Harry screamed, feeling his voice rip at his throat. "Backstabbing, two faced, loveless cretin! How could you?"
Snape's eyes were cold. The Death Eaters raised their wands in unison and chanted, "Crucio."
Harry was knocked down by the force of the spell, pain too great handle. He heard a scream, every muscle twitching, back arching, eyes streaming. He was being burnt alive.
The pain stopped. Harry lay panting on the grass, his eyes streaming, catching his breath. He didn't understand: he could still here the Death Eaters screaming the Cruciatus curse, but nothing was affecting him. He stared at the stars for a moment, watching his breath cloud above his mouth, before he had regained enough strength to prop himself up on his elbows.
The Death Eaters were still standing before him, in semicircle, angry streaks of red flowing from their wand tips in response to their calls. The curse had a new victim. Draco stood in front of Harry, shielding him from the unforgivable curse. His neck was arched back, mouth open in a silent scream of agony, body almost lifted off the ground with the strength of the curse.
Harry scrambled to his feet as fast as he could, throwing disarming charms toward the dark wizards. He hit at least one of them, and the cries of "Crucio!" halted. Draco collapsed, falling backwards right into Harry, cascading them both into the ground. The air was ripped from Harry's lungs as his body met the grass. Every muscle in Draco's body was trembling violently: Harry could feel the shakings against his chest. Harry shoved the boy off of himself, getting breathlessly to his feet, wand gripped tightly, ready to fight. But the group of Death Eaters were beyond the gates, were vanishing even as he watched.
Harry let out a wild scream of frustration, of sorrow, of helplessness. He sank back onto the ground, letting tears run over his cheeks, tears for Dumbledore. He couldn't even look at Draco beside him, the blond barely conscious. How could he? To kill Dumbledore? It was unforgivable, just like the curse. Harry felt betrayed, abandoned.
But then he felt a cold hand on his arm: Draco was reaching out. Harry looked down at him, and his heart melted. He pulled Draco until his arms, holding the small shaking frame. Draco could barely keep his eyes open, let alone speak.
"He's dead. He's dead, Dray."
Ragged breathing was the only response.
"What's going to happen now?"
Draco shuddered, his eyes rolling back, almost falling out of consciousness. Harry stood, lifting him as gently as he could. He walked back towards the castle, which was finally still – all fighting seemed to have stopped. Harry couldn't wipe the tears from his cheeks with his arms occupied with Draco: they dripped unabated, fogging his view.
"Harry!" He heard the scream almost as soon as he'd crested the steps to the main doors of the castle. Hermione was racing toward him, looking unharmed. "Thank goodness you're ok. What happened to Draco? We think we've stunned all the Death Eaters left in the castle, but some of them escaped. Oh Harry, however did they get into the castle? Dumbledore thought it impossible but they found a way."
"Dumbledore's dead."
"What?" Her eyes were wider than he'd ever seen them before.
Harry shifted Draco's body in his arms; the blond was now shivering, sweat breaking out all over his body. "Snape killed him. He's dead."
Hermione shook her head, eyes filling up with tears.
Harry wanted to say more, tell her about the cave and the horcrux they'd recovered, how Draco had been the one who tried to kill Dumbledore [tried], how Dumbledore was true to the very end, had Draco had taken the curses for him, sacrificed himself. But he had run out of words. Hermione took his arm and led him up the stairs, past destroyed portraits and crumpled suits of armor, past holes blasted in the walls, floor, ceiling, past shaking groups of students huddling close together for comfort.
He let her lead him all the way to the Hospital Wing, where they found the rest of the Order. There were choruses of gratitude, everyone happy to see Harry safe. But he was deaf to their words. He gingerly laid Draco down on a vacant bed. The blond's grey eyes were glassy, staring at nothing, body curled up as though to protect itself from any further hurt. Harry looked down at him, sweeping his mussed hair back off his face.
Madam Pomfrey managed to drag herself away from the bed most of the Order was crowded around and came to check on Harry and Draco. "What happened to him?" she asked Harry.
"Cruciatus," was all Harry could get out.
She clicked her tongue in disgust or sorrow, Harry couldn't tell. "He's in shock. He needs rest, quiet, stability." She looked away from her patient and up at Harry, saying, "Seems you could use some of that yourself."
She bustled away, returning a minute later with two goblets of potion. "Sit him up for me?" she asked Harry. He immediately sat on the edge of the bed, gently pulling Draco up into a sitting position, allowing the blond to use Harry's body as a backrest. Madam Pomfrey helped him drink the sleeping potion.
"Some for you too now, Mr. Potter," and she offered the cup. He drained it in one gulp, and lay down right where he was, cradling Draco in his arms.
Madam Pomfrey opened her mouth as though to say something, but thought better of it and walked back over to where the Order was crowded.
"Go to sleep," Harry whispered into Draco's hair, and he finally felt the other boy's shaking subside. His taught muscles relaxed and his breathing evened, deepened. Harry allowed the potion to do its work, letting his heavy eyelids slide closed.
Harry woke, after a dreamless sleep, half a day later. The stirring creature in his arms woke him. Draco looked up at him with clear eyes, wetting his lips with his tongue. Harry kissed him firmly on the forehead, his mind slowly whirling back to awareness, memories of last night assaulting the peace of the quiet infirmary.
"Dray?" Harry said in response to the blond's eyes flooding with tears.
"I'm s-s-so sorry, Harry."
Harry held him. Draco tucked his head into Harry's neck, sobbing.
"I betrayed you. I betrayed everyone. I-I killed…"
"No, you didn't." Harry interrupted. "You didn't kill Dumbledore."
"I as good as killed him."
Harry pushed Draco back, wanting to slap him and kiss him at the same time. "You didn't."
"But I betrayed you. Your trust…"
"My trust remains. Draco, you chose what side you're on last night when you stepped into the path of those curses. You sacrificed yourself for me." Harry slowly convinced himself these words were true as he spoke them.
"I had to. I love you. There was no other option."
Harry smiled sadly. He traced the Dark Mark etched into Draco's forearm, finger cold against his warm skin. So much harm had been done. So much…
But not so much that light could not overpower it.
A few days after the funeral, they sat in the sun by the side of the lake. Harry was leaning against a tree; Draco was reclined between his legs, his head resting on Harry's chest. Harry ran his fingers through the pale locks again and again. Draco sighed heavily, slumping against the Gryffindor. Harry slid his strong arms around Draco's chest and hugged him, kissing the back of his head.
"Dray, I'm not coming back here next year."
"I know," Draco said unexpectedly.
"You know?" Harry questioned, resuming his stroking of Draco's hair.
"Of course. You're going to go after You-Know-Who."
Harry nodded, saying nothing.
"I'm coming with you."
Harry looked down at the blond in his arms. "No, you're not. I want you here, where it's safe."
Draco twisted in his arms so he could look at Harry's face. "Harry, nowhere is safe. I proved that this year."
"But…"
"You think I'm going to let you run around with Ron and Hermione, having all sorts of adventures without me?"
Harry smiled down at him.
Draco continued, "Besides, you saved me… so many times this year."
"Along with almost killing you."
"That was only one time," Draco grinned up at him. "I need a chance to save you, ok Chosen One?"
"Ok," Harry answered, knowing it was fruitless to argue. Draco turned back around, leaning against Harry's chest again. Harry ran his hands up and down Draco's arms, eyes captivated with the perfect little creature who had somehow made his way into Harry's life.
"I love you," Harry whispered, leaning down so his cheek was against Draco's.
"I love you, too," Draco answered, catching his mouth in a sweet kiss.
"And I always will."
A/N: Hi friends,
This was my first fan fiction. Thanks so much for reading, and for all the reviews: they were very encouraging!
Here's my disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters and places and the like all belong to Miss JK Rowling. I wish I was her.
Chapter titles come from lyrics from Snow Patrol, Augustana, Arctic Monkeys, Death Cab for Cutie, the Killers, Keane, William Tell, Modest Mouse, Coldplay, Tilly & the Wall, the Fray, and the Shins.
Hope you enjoyed it! Love.