Thanks to those who are still here...reading and reviewing. It means a lot.
Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.
Chapter Twelve
CALLIE'S POV
Last night was something else. I got Arizona into that mood and yeah, she totally rocked my world. Honestly, I'm not sure I can even leave our bed today, let alone our suite. We may have been together for some time now but Arizona is still incredible in bed. She still puts her all into every touch. Every kiss. Every moment we spend together. Our love has never lessened and to be honest, our marriage only gets hotter by the day. Smiling as she shifts in my arms, I press a kiss to her head and she nuzzles into my chest. I love mornings like this. The silence. The uninterrupted time together before our day becomes manic and lonely. I love just being with her and it only makes the idea of her leaving her position at the magazine feel a little more exciting to me. I've been lying awake for a while now and my thoughts keep drifting to what she said last night. How she thinks she's made the wrong decision. How she believes it won't be good for us. I see the total opposite and I want her to know that. I want her to know that she can do whatever the hell she wants.
Shifting from beneath Arizona, I climb from our bed and head for the coffee machine. If there is one thing I need after round after round of lovemaking, its coffee. Unlimited amounts of coffee. I have a show tonight and I plan on being with the living for the remainder of the day, so yeah…I need a world of coffee right now. Arizona can sleep a while longer and I will simply enjoy my caffeine whilst I watch her. Yeah, watching her will always be my favorite morning activity. Something about the way she sleeps makes me feel completely loved inside. I mean, the crap we've been through, but she's still here. She still wakes in my arms and I'm so proud to call her my wife. I'm so proud to know that she chose me…not anyone else.
There were times when I wasn't sure we would ever make it, but I guess deep down, I knew. I knew that she would always be mine. I knew that whenever we broke it off, we would come back together. It's hard not to when you are so drawn to one another. It's hard not to feel like it will always fall into place when we are so good and so perfect together. Ugh, she's perfect. The very definition of the word. Watching as she shifts and the sheet falls just above her ass, my smile widens and I move towards the seat by the window. My hands wrapped around my coffee cup, I listen to her soft breathing and drop down into my seat. It's like music to my ears. Of all the tacks and music I've recorded over the years…Arizona's breathing will always win out. It will always settle me like nothing else in this world. I'm so in love with this woman that it's ridiculous, it really is.
"You're watching me." Her face buried in the pillow beneath her head, a groan falls from her perfect mouth. "Callie…" She whines.
"What's up, beautiful?"
"You're watching me." She repeats her words. "Stop…"
"Hard to stop when your gorgeous body is on show for me." Setting my coffee cup down, I stand and approach the bed. Climbing back inside, Arizona gives me one of her dimpled smiles and sighs. "I love you…"
"I love you, too." Turning, she faces me a little better and her fingertips ghost over my thigh. "And I loved last night."
"Mm, me too," I smirk. "Kinda tired today, I won't lie."
"Comes with the job of being my wife." She shrugs, a little cockiness in her voice. "Figured you knew that, though…"
"Oh, I know it." I agree. "You never let me forget it."
"Are we going to talk about the fact that I pretty much have no job?"
"Depends if you want to talk about it?" I snuggle back down beside my wife and brush her hair from her face. "Your call."
"I just think I should call Miranda back and apologize. Grovel, maybe."
"My wife will not grovel to anyone. I don't care who they are." Scoffing, I shake my head. "If you don't want the job, you don't want it."
"But is it really that simple?" She sits up on her elbow. "Is it as easy as just saying 'thanks but no thanks'?"
"I guess it is." I shrug. "I mean, do you want to go back to your position as the best photographer in the world?"
"A little dramatic and totally not true but yeah…I guess I do."
"You guess?" I raise an eyebrow. "I'm going to need more than that if you're trying to convince me."
"No, I do." She nods. "I want to just be a photographer again."
"Hardly 'just' a photographer." I snort. "You're so much more than that and you know it."
"You have to say that, you're my wife." She rolls her eyes. "I need you to be unbiased right now, Calliope."
"I am." I nod. "I'm telling you what I think based on who you are as a person, Arizona. I don't need to sugarcoat anything. You know how good you are. You know that you are more than just a photographer."
"Maybe…" She sighs. "You think I should take a little more time to think about this?"
"Honestly, I think you've made up your mind," I admit. "You wouldn't have made that call if you were unsure."
"I know." She drops back on the bed and sighs. "I just need some time, I think. You know, let it sink in."
"Okay." I agree. "Sounds good to me." My wife looks totally uncertain about everything right now but she knows she can talk to me whenever she needs some reassurance. She knows she can come to me anytime she needs an opinion or my thoughts. I've got her…I always will. "You wanna hang out today?"
"How is that even a question?" She climbs from the bed and grabs herself a coffee.
"Wasn't sure if you had plans." I shrug. "You know since you go it alone these days…"
"Go it alone?" She raises her eyebrow. "What does that even mean?" Crossing the distance, she joins me back in bed and sits up against the headboard.
"I miss you of an evening," I admit. "Knowing you're here and alone is depressing, Arizona."
"I quite enjoy it." She shrugs. "Sometimes it's good to be alone for a while."
"A while is like a night or two…not a week."
"Okay, so I'll join you tonight." She glances my way. "If you want me to?"
"Of course, I do." I roll my eyes, playfully. "You think I ask stupid questions but yours are just as bad."
"Mm, yours are still worse." Sipping her coffee, I study her profile and my eyes trail her incredible jawline. "You're staring again."
"I'm your wife…I'll do what I want."
"Oh, is that right?" She sets her coffee down and shifts until she is on her back. "If that is the case…you should probably do exactly what you want right now." Pulling me down on top of her, my lips trail her neck and she moans in appreciation.
"You're right," I whisper. "I should do exactly that…"
We've been walking around London for the past few hours and Arizona has been kinda quiet. I don't know if her job is still playing on her mind or if she doesn't want to join me tonight at the venue but I feel like I need some answers. I feel like I need the truth from her because honestly, she's been distant where my career is concerned lately. I know it must get kinda boring for her, but she just has to say. I won't be offended and I won't be mad…I just want to know. Pulling her towards a coffee shop, she furrows her brow and I motion for her to sit down. "Figured we could use a break for a few…"
"Okay." She smiles as someone approaches us to take our order. "Two Americano's, please." Giving the waiter a full smile, he scribbles on the pad in his hand and disappears. "Are you okay?"
"Me? Yeah…" I run my fingers through my hair. "You know, you don't have to be at the venue tonight if you don't want to be, Arizona. Just…I figured I'd be honest with you this morning in telling you how much I miss having you around."
"I do want to be there." She furrows her brow. "Why wouldn't I want to?"
"I don't know but you've been quiet and it's making me kinda uncomfortable." I shrug. "Is something wrong? Do you want to head home and figure it all out at the magazine?"
"No." She leans across the table and takes my hand in her own. "I want to be here with you…"
"Because you really have a funny way of showing it." I give her an awkward smile. "I just feel like something is wrong."
"I said some stuff to Miranda yesterday." She settles back in her seat and releases a deep breath. "Stuff I didn't even think about before I said it…"
"I know but you've told her you will take some time to think about it." I give her a reassuring smile and squeeze her hand. "She shouldn't expect anything other than that. It's a big decision to make."
"No, it wasn't about my job." She clears her throat. "It was about other stuff…"
"O…kay." I give her a look of confusion. "About us?" I ask. "Are you not happy with me?"
"What?" She laughs. "No, Callie…don't be ridiculous."
"You're really going to have to give me more to work with here, Arizona." I drop my gaze, my fingers running through my hair. The waiter returning with our coffee, I clear my throat and give him my best fake smile. "Thank you." Gaining a nod from him, he disappears and it's just me and Arizona again. "What's going on?"
"Miranda made a comment about how she wouldn't ever want to be editor again." She tugs at her fingers. "She said she had a son who deserved to have her there…"
"I get that." I smile.
"I then made a comment about how I may one day have a kid…"
"You did?" I furrow my brow. "I, uh…"
"I shouldn't have said it and now that I have…it's all I can freaking think about."
"Which?" I'm trying to contain my excitement. "Miranda and her kid or one of your own?"
"One of my own." She rolls her eyes. "Our own."
"Shit…" My voice barely above a whisper, I study my wife's face but I actually think she is being serious right now. Deadly serious. "We never discussed it after you walked out last time."
"I-I know…" She nods in agreement. "And it's never really been on my mind."
"So, what are you saying?" I ask. "That you hate thinking about it or you love thinking about it?"
"I…" She furrows her brow. "I-I…love thinking about it."
"You do?" My heart bursting at her admission, I'm struggling to remain in my seat. "Arizona, are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"I'm saying that one day…when you are taking a long break from your music, it will be something we should discuss." I don't know what there is to discuss but okay, that will do me perfectly for the time being. "I know I wasn't very enthusiastic last time but a lot has changed. Everything has changed."
"You think…" I breathe out.
"I mean, I wasn't sure I'd ever even marry you." She gives me a sad smile. "You kinda sprung the whole kid's thing on me and I didn't feel like I could even have a minute to think. We were still so new and fresh at that point. I mean, I know we had been together for the best part of a year, but you were away with your music most of that time."
"I know." I stand and take a seat closer to my wife. "I've always felt bad about that."
"No, I'm not saying it because I want you to feel bad." She shakes her head. "I just…now that all this time has passed and we are married…happy, I think I'm ready."
"Wow…"
"What?" She glances my way. "You've changed your mind haven't you?"
"No." Thankfully, I haven't. Judging by the look on my wife's face right now, she really wants this. She wants a family with me. "I could never change my mind about something like this…"
"Good." She nods, her eyes focused on the coffee in front of her. "I think I need something stronger." A slight laugh falling from her mouth, my hand settles on her thigh and her body relaxes a little. "Sorry…I just kinda sprung this on you, huh?"
"Not at all." I squeeze her thigh. "If it's on your mind, I want to hear it."
"You think we could do it though, right?" She looks at me like I have the answers to all of life's questions. "I mean, we would be good parents?"
"Damn right we would." My smile grows impossibly wide. "Of course, it would be new…but think of the outcome. Think of the amazing miracle we would bring into this world…"
"Yeah." A soft smile curls on her lips. "Would be kind of amazing, huh?"
"Incredible." I breathe out. I don't know what has just happened in the last few minutes but something inside of me has changed. Something has settled and I don't know exactly what it is. Maybe our last conversation about kids has always been there in the back of my mind, I don't know. What I do know, though…is that Arizona wants a family with me. She wants us to be complete and in this moment, I could happily stop everything I'm doing and make that happen for us. God, I'd give anything for this to come to something.
"So, maybe we should discuss it another time?" She raises her eyebrow and breaks me from my thoughts. She knows I'm thinking hard right now and I'm assuming she doesn't want that. "Calliope?"
"Sure, yeah." I clear my throat. "Whatever you want…"
"Whatever we want." She gives me a knowing look. "We're in this together, remember?"
"Of course." Leaning in, I press a kiss below her ear and she leans into my touch. "We do all of this together. Every single step."
"I know one thing right now, though…" She fixes her eyes on my own and stares intently. "I want this with you."
"Yeah?" My thumb brushes her cheek. "You do?"
"More than anything." I don't know why she has suddenly made this decision but I'm not complaining. Not at all. We have both been crazy busy with work and life kinda just happened but I genuinely haven't thought much about it. I know she said that it would be an option one day but I guess time just disappears and before you know it, you're a platinum-selling artist and married. Crazy to think that the first time we discussed kids I was nothing more than an artist in a bar who was trying to catch a break, but yeah…that's what I was. That's all I thought I would ever be.
People spend their lives wanting what I have and I completely have it all. I have an incredibly beautiful wife who supports me. Not only that, I have a wife who wants the same as me. Kids. A family. A life that doesn't just revolve around ourselves. She wants those things and I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather go on this journey with. Sure, it could be a year or two down the line before anything happens, but knowing that the option is there…I'm content. I'm content and I'm unbelievably happy that I could literally burst right now. "I love you, Arizona."
"I love you, too."
Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.