A/N: Hi everyone, I apologize for my lack of updating. I've been incredibly busy with classes and work but the semester ends in 2 weeks so you can expect more updating soon. This chapter is on the shorter side, but I wanted to update since it's been well over a month since I post anything and since I missed Captain Salvatore. Thank you all for your continued support and reviews. It means so much to me, XO
Elena's POV:
I fell back into bed with Stefan's note in my hand, tracing the grooves of his words with my fingertips. Every letter was so carefully written which meant he took his time writing it, which meant a lot to me. I thought about how my father used to write my mother little love notes every now and then just as a reminder. When I was younger, I would take them the note into my room and trace the grooves of the words until I fell asleep. I longed to have a love like that one day, I still do.
Matt must have let us sleep in super late because by the time we woke up, the air was dry and the sun was blistering. Caroline yawned as she stirred in her bunk.
"Ugh, I am so tired!" Caroline groaned. I opened one eye and shot a grin over to Bonnie.
"Well, you did come in pretty late last night….." Bonnie chimed in and Caroline sat straight up from her bed, I stifled a giggle.
"Nothing happened! We just talked… and kissed, and talked some more. I'm saving myself for when the time is right. I wasn't in the right mindset for that, you know? I'm sad he had to leave. I don't even want to think about how I'm going to deal with this when we leave to go back home." Caroline bowed her head down and Bonnie got up to lie next to her. I followed suit and the three of us were crammed into a twin sized bed facing the ceiling.
"I miss Jeremy, it's so hard not being able to call him whenever I want to. I know we'll make it through this and being here is a good thing, but I wonder if it's enough." Bonnie said quietly as Caroline placed her arm around Bonnie's head.
"You'll see him, Bon. I don't know what it feels like to miss someone that much, but I do know it's hard." I commented. Caroline then opened up her other arm for me to rest my head on.
"Oh, please, Elena. Don't try to convince yourself that you don't miss Stefan." Caroline snubbed. I scoffed and ignored Caroline's comment. Was she right? Of course she was, I didn't miss Stefan in a romantic sense, I just missed his companionship. And his smile. And his beautiful eyes. And him. Oh, who am I kidding? How could I not begin to develop feelings for him? He's so sincere and incredibly wonderful.
"Really, Caroline. Stefan and I are just friends and that's the way it's going to be." I said with affirmative tones. Caroline raised her eyebrows and smiled.
"I can't wait until I say, 'I told you so'. But whatever, Elena! It's so typical of you to deny your feelings." Caroline sighed and relaxed again. I didn't bother to argue with Caroline because one: it was too hot and two: Caroline was right to a certain degree.
I don't deny my feelings, I just don't express them. Ever since my parents died, I found it a lot easier to keep my feelings bottled up. It's a survival tactic that I've been habiting to keep myself from getting hurt. It's bulletproof, or at least I thought it was.
It took a while for us to get our day started but once we did, Matt had an entire day of activities planned for us. We went on a small hike and then attempt to ride camels. Caroline was the most successful out of all of us, she was an Equestrian rider for the longest time so it was natural to her. After that, we had a true Mediterranean dinner in the city at a small but cozy café and then we were going to watch a movie or something in the mess hall. Matt left the movie choice up to us but there was a lot to choose from.
"Yeah, sorry about the crappy selection. Usually they send us movies that haven't been released yet but I guess they just forgot about us this time around." Matt laughed and scratched the back of his head nervously. I looked at the collection, which included Top Gun, Fast & the Furious, Fight Club, Dumb and Dumber, and, oddly enough, Finding Nemo. I picked up the DVD case and Matt raised his hands in defense. I raised one eyebrow and half smiled.
"That's not mine, I swear! It's actually Stefan's. Once in while, he'll bring the orphans up here and have a movie night with them. We make popcorn and slushies since some of the kids never had it before. It's a nice escape for them and for us." Matt said it like it was nothing but it was everything. Not everyone can do that and those who can usually don't. I knew Stefan was different from everyone else but this definitely set him apart from the rest. I smiled down to the DVD and held it tightly in my hands.
"That's a really nice thing for him to do. He should consider doing it again and soon." Matt nodded in agreement and went back to scavenging through the box of DVDs. I couldn't help but miss Stefan in that moment. I wondered what he was doing in that exact moment and if he was thinking of me. It was silly of me to wonder such a thing but I can't help it.
We decided on Dumb and Dumber and half way through the movie, I felt violently ill. I wasn't sure if I had eaten something I wasn't used to or what, but I became very woozy and lightheaded. I told everyone that was with us that I had to go to the restroom for a few minutes just to freshen up. I was barely conscious by the time I made it to the bathroom. My pulse was rapid and my blood pressure was really low and a cold sweat was coming over me. I shoved my finger down my throat, hoping vomiting would alleviate my suffering but nothing happened and then my nose started bleeding profusely. I turned the faucet on to clean my face but before I could even attempt that, I was blacking out and falling to the ground.
I woke up in a dark, unfamiliar tent. My clothes have been taken off and fresh, clean pajamas have been put on. I started to quietly panic and began fearing the worst. I looked over at the clock next to the bed and it read a little after midnight. No one was in sight and so I got up too quickly, knocking over something in the process only to hear someone clear his throat and turn the light on.
"You should lay back down." His voice commanded. It was Stefan. I was happy and puzzled to see him sitting there in the corner of the tent. It was as if he never left at all and was actually sitting there the whole time. I got a little dizzy from standing up to fast and began to lean over but Stefan was there within 3 seconds to keep me from falling, again.
"Really, Elena. You need to lay back down." Stefan said with a little bit more kindness. He furrowed his brow and gently pushed me back into the bed and pulled the blanket over me. Before I could get a word out, Stefan had a glass of water in his hands, which he actually administered himself to me. His hand tipped the glass of water into my mouth and he studied me with concern and worry across his face. I felt horrible, that I couldn't even drink with my own hands but my arms felt heavy and I was tired. After I finished the glass of water, Stefan placed the empty glass on the desk.
"Please, lay down," He whispered gently and so I did. I sank into the pillows, which were heavy of his scent and that's when I realized that I was in his tent, laying on his bed. Stefan went back to his chair and watched intently from a far.
"Why are you here?" I croaked out. Stefan had unfolded his hands from his lap and placed them behind his head. He let out a slow sigh.
"Because I was worried something bad happened to you." Stefan admitted. I blinked a few times and he just kept sneaking looks at me, waiting for me to say something. I was quiet for a little longer, trying to find my voice again.
"You were found on the bathroom floor, passed out, nose bleeding like crazy. I thought you were assaulted or even worse…" He trailed off and sighed with frustration before he continued, "It's my job to make sure you're safe, if Caroline didn't go looking for you, you could have bled out, Elena. I couldn't live with myself knowing that you got hurt when I wasn't there to protect you. Protecting you is a personal choice, not an assigned one. You're my friend, I feel the need to look out for you, always." I slowly closed my eyes, taking in every word, attempting to find words of my own.
"I don't know what to say," I said in a dry whisper. Stefan looked over to me and slightly smiled.
"I believe the words you're looking for are 'thank' and 'you'. But enough talking, get some rest. You can thank me in the morning." Stefan smiled and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I'm sorry if I scared you." I said shamefully. Stefan titled his head to the side and shook his head.
"Oh, no, Elena. Don't feel sorry. I came back by choice, not because Matt called me panicking. Besides, I missed you." Stefan said lightly. I looked at him and he slightly shrugged his shoulders.
"Missed me?" I said without thinking. Stefan's face turned soft and he nodded again.
"There's something about you Elena. You make us being friends very easy." Stefan commented. His use of the word "friends" sounded very forced but it didn't bother me. I was just happy he was there, talking to me.
"How did you get here so fast?" I asked. He smiled widely and chuckled a bit.
"The Black Hawks flew me in. I was only about 200 miles away. I got here within 10 minutes." I felt bad that my mishap caused Stefan to leave. It was like he knew exactly what I was thinking because he then said,
"Don't feel bad that I left, we were coming back tomorrow, or should I say today, anyway... How are you feeling?" Stefan's question was warm and sincere. I swallowed my tongue.
"I feel fine, a little tired but fine." I was lying and he knew it.
"You should have said something about your condition, Elena. This is serious." He sounded a little mad but I knew it was because he was afraid.
"I don't want an illness to keep me from living life." Stefan looked at me with excited eyes and smiled.
"My mother used to say that all the time, right up until the very end." Stefan's eyes seemed somewhere else until I spoke again.
"I miss my mom and my dad. I shouldn't have ever gone to the NYU open house. We were mugged, you know, and then the guy was trying to get to me and my dad fought him off and then he pulled out a gun and shot my parents at point blank range. We had to have a closed casket for their funeral. It's strange how death works. It can take years to kill you off or just in a matter of seconds." I was beyond morbid and Stefan just nodded and took in everything I was saying. I was too tired to have filtered thoughts. Stefan walked over to the bed and sat at the edge of it. He bowed his head between his shoulders and exhaled.
"I'm sorry to hear about your parents, Elena. I really am. The death of a parent is one thing but dealing with them both.. that takes a lot of strength. You're a lot stronger than you let on, you know that?" Stefan finished his last sentence while looking into my eyes. I nodded and he just smiled.
"Okay, Elena, we'll talk about this more tomorrow. You really should get some rest." Stefan went back over to his chair. What came out of my mouth next was mortifying but I didn't want to be alone.
"Can you lay down with me?" I whispered almost silently. Stefan's eyes widened a bit and he pressed his mouth into a firm line. Stefan stood up and started walking over to the exit of his tent but instead, he pulled off his jacket, turned the light off, and laid down next to me. Stefan was hesitant at first, but eventually he wrapped his arm around me and sighed with comfort.
"I'm only doing this because you asked me to and because you're my friend." He said quietly, almost as if it was forced. I exhaled and started to succumb to sleep. I didn't care if he was doing it only because I asked. what matter was that he did it.
"I know," I whispered, "I know."