Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does
Chapter 12
Lee closes the door to the observation room behind him gently, yet the sound echoes in the stark silence. Immediately, he turns to activate the comms and listen in, only to discover they're already on. With the window situated at the vantage point of looking down the table, he can see his father and Roslin sitting across from Kara. Aside from a crackle of static, the broadcast coming from the interrogation room consists of nothing but baited breathes.
Kara's still donning the tanks and cargo pants that she was discovered in and her hair looks as though she combed it with her fingers. In short, she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. The only thing missing is her smile and by the looks of things, that's not likely to change anytime soon.
Her attitude of indifference is painful to observe. The fear that Kara is beyond help is debilitating, and as much as it shames him to admit it, that fear is the reason he didn't fight harder against his father and Roslin. If Lee were sitting in that room right now, her apathy might break him and that was a risk humanity couldn't afford. It's the barest glimpses of her old mannerisms that sustain his hope.
Outwardly, she looks relaxed, but Lee knows by the way that she's clenching her jaw that she's anxious, alert. He remembers seeing that same tautness build within her facial features when she'd climb into the cockpit as the claxons rang. A flash of starry sky framing her face, sends a ripple of heat through his body and reminds him how he expelled that tension once before. All too vividly, he recalls how the muscles along her neck and chin melted against his lips as he thrust into her and he can almost hear the way she chanted his name, breathless and demanding. The sound of his father's voice calling out Kara's name, clashes horribly against his revelry, and Lee can see his reminiscent smile fade in the mirror's reflection.
BSGBSGBSG
"Kara?" Bill's heart clenches as she ignores him and continues to stare, unflinching, at a point in the middle of the table. He feels Laura's hand slip into his beneath the table and squeeze gently. It gives him the courage to try again, but this time his voice carries more authority, less of a question and more of a call to attention, "Kara."
She doesn't change her demeanor in the slightest, which makes her sudden reply all the more startling, "You're looking for Kara?" There's a beat of absolute silence, "So am I."
Coming from Starbuck, those words penetrate deeper than any of the rounds Boomer fired into his chest. He finds it difficult to breathe as fear takes the lead in the race against hope. Bill extends his hand into the field of vision where her eyes are set, "Let us help you."
Slowly Kara's eyes travel from his hand, up his arm, finally meeting the Old Man's gaze, "Us?" Her eyes flick quickly over to Roslin and she quirks her brow in an obvious display of doubt. "I don't believe you."
"Captain Thrace, I know that we can't even begin to appreciate what you've been through these past few weeks, but I give you my word that I'll use every resource at my disposal to help you piece together what you've lost."
Kara stares at the President, "You're not interested in what I lost. You want to know what I found. You don't want to talk to Kara," she leans forward her tone dropping as though she were divulging a secret, "you want to talk to the Guardian." She shakes her head, "Not happening."
She turns sharply to the Admiral, "I can't be the good little soldier right now. I can't even be the rebellious, frak-up, Starbuck." Kara leans back in her chair and looks at the ceiling, speaking to everyone and no-one but herself, "Kara is the piece that ties all those identities together and I don't know how to find her. She's lost." She drops her head back down and smiles sadly at the pair across from her, "And neither of you can help me find her." She drifts her eyes to the Old Man, apology and pleading in equal measures, "You've seen most of the pieces, but he's seen the whole. I need to be whole again." She reaches out and takes the hand he extended before, "I need to be me."
William Adama nods slowly.
BSGBSGBSG
Once inside the observation room Laura spins on her heel and pins Bill with a hard gaze, "I'd like you to explain exactly what you just committed us to with that nod to the prisoner."
"She's not a prisoner." The sentence echoes around her in a freakish version of Adama-stereo sound.
Laura takes a deep breathe, "Just because she isn't a cylon does not mean that we can dismiss her as a potential threat."
Lee can barely keep the exasperation from his tone, "She doesn't even remember who she is?"
Laura turns and watches Kara sitting for a moment, "I think she's confused, but she's not as naïve as the two of you would like to believe." She turns her most penetrating stare back on Bill, "That's why I want to know what, exactly, it is you agreed to?"
Bill's eyes cast a fleeting look in Lee's direction, before returning to the Presidents, and when he does, there's recognition dawning behind her sharp eyes.
Lee clears his throat and pushes the uncomfortable weight of their collective stares aside, "There's no one alive who has known Kara Thrace longer than I have. She's my best friend. We have been there for each other through flame and fire, love and war, life and…death." Laura cocks her head at him, truly curious, and Lee continues, "I've lost track of the number of times, she's saved my life, but I owe her a few. Let me help her." He knows his father is in his corner, but Laura still seems unconvinced. Lee decides to adapt his approach, "She's no good to us in this state. If you want answers, then you're going to have to trust me. Didn't you tell Kara that you'd use 'every resource available' to help her recover?"
Laura scowls at having her words thrown back at her that way, but seeing the teasing smile on Lee's lip diminishes the sting. "What do you propose?"
"Well for starters, I refuse to grill her like she's the enemy. No interrogation room. Kara doesn't respond well to such petty intimidation tactics. I'll be more successful if she feels comfortable, safe…Senior Officer's Quarters."
"That's a good idea." Bill smiles at the surprised look on his son's face, "She may be more receptive if she feels she has the home court advantage."
Lee returns his father's smile with one of his own, "Aside from her viper, I think SOQ is our best option."
BSGBSGBSG
As the wheel on the hatch turns over Lee feels adrenaline rush through his veins. Kara's presence has always wreaked havoc on his senses but the faint scent of her that precedes her entry causes his hands to shake; after so many weeks of withdrawal he's desperate for another hit of his favorite drug.
The guards escort her across the threshold, but she keeps her eyes trained on the ground. Lee gestures to the cuffs binding her, "You can take those off and then hold position outside." The marines follow his commands swiftly and Lee offers them a quick salute of dismissal. Kara doesn't move until the hatch is closed firmly into place, and even then, it's only a quick survey of her surroundings. She falters briefly when she meets his gaze.
Lee tries to keep his movements slow and deliberate, so as not to scare her. She seems to be muttering something and as he draws closer, her ramblings become more coherent.
"I can't believe…I can't…" a soft laugh intersperses that same phrase, over and over, until he's standing in front of her. She falls silent, studying her feet, waiting.
"Kara?" He reaches out tentatively and touches her elbow. She shudders and mirrors his movements, clasping his elbow, pressing her forearm flush against his. Gently he cups her chin, drawing her eyes to his. She leans into his touch, closing her eyes briefly, and Lee swears she sighs a little when he pulls her closer.
When he draws back to look at her again, Kara's wearing her most impish grin, and there's a sweet, if not patronizing, lilt to her voice, "I can't believe they bought that."
Author's Note: Are you confused yet? Answers are coming I swear...actually a lot are coming in the next chapter. It's a scientific fact that reviews help people write faster...and by 'scientific fact' I mean my own conjecture, and by 'people' I mean me. Hugs for reading, kisses for reviewers. Cheers!