Unintended

A/N: Wow, everyone was really supportive of Bella in the last chapter, and I wasn't expecting that, so thank you very much.

The story is going to thankfully pick up pace now, but as for the amount of overall chapters, I have no idea. Thanks again for sticking with me, and I hope you will continue to do so all the way until the end.

~Chapter 12 –Maybe~

I lived for the nights.

I spent my days just counting the hours until I could be alone with Bella, and forget about the rest of the world.

Time did nothing but intensify my craving for her. We started out only connecting every few days or so, but it quickly escalated to every night.

I found myself searching for her at school, just to know what she was doing and who she was spending her time with. It wasn't a jealousy thing…it was pure obsession.

I knew how intensely I yearned for her, and I was well aware of how unhealthy it had become, but I couldn't bring myself to care either.

We continued to pretend like we didn't care about each other when other people were around, but both of our façades were beginning to break.

It started off slowly. We were passing each other in the hall between third and fourth periods, just like we did every other day, but that time I brushed her hand with mine as we breezed past. She didn't respond, but I knew she felt it. The next day I did it again with still no response from her, but by the third day, she decided to play along. I went to brush her hand, but instead, she grabbed my fingers and twisted them painfully. It hurt like hell, but even though she didn't laugh, I knew it was meant lightheartedly.

At home, we continued with our little games. I'd sit at the table at dinner, and she'd sit as far from me as possible, but I always found a way to touch her. If it was grazing her fingers while passing the salt, or playing footsy under the table, whenever it was possible to touch her without anyone noticing, I'd do it.

"Honey, will you help me set the table?" Esme asked me one afternoon.

"Uh…sure," I said reluctantly. I was just on my way in from having a cigarette out back, and I actually planned on doing some homework, but I had a feeling that Esme had something she wanted to talk to me about, so I humored her.

She handed me the plates and silverware, and then she began filling a pitcher of water.

"Uh, there's too many," I told her when I realized that she gave me more than enough plates.

"No, Rose is going to be here….and so is Pastor Swan," she informed me.

Fuck.

Charlie had been over a few times since Bella moved in, but I always did my best to avoid him whenever possible. I appeased everyone by going to church every Sunday with them, but I really didn't want to sit at the dinner table and have a forced casually conversation with the man. I didn't know enough about bible shit to keep his interest anyway, so there wasn't anything to talk to him about.

But I didn't complain. The only thing complaining would accomplish was to get me a night sleeping on the floor with a pair of blue balls in the morning. Bella owned my ass, and we both knew it so there was no point in denying it…at least not to myself.

When I was finished setting the table, Esme gave me something else to do. She was obviously trying to stall my departure until she could figure out exactly how she wanted to tell me what was on her mind.

"Esme, why don't you just say what you have to say," I told her after she asked me to refill the napkins.

She sighed. "Ok, here it goes. Bella is having her six month check up tomorrow, and I know that I've been taking her to her appointments, but I really think you should be the one to take her this time."

"Why?" I asked bitterly.

"Because she's your wife, and she's having your baby. Edward, aren't you even the least bit curious of what the doctor has to say about everything?"

"No," I stated.

"Well, I think you need to be," she told me.

"Why can't she just drive herself?" I asked frustrated. "I'm already paying for her insurance; can't she handle her own appointments?"

"Edward, you need to go," she said sternly, and then I could tell the conversation was over.

I fully admitted that Bella owned my ass, but matters of her pregnancy were different. I didn't want anything to do with it, and I really didn't see the point in going to an appointment for it. I slept next to Bella every night, and sometimes I'd see her rubbing her stomach, but never once did I have the urge to feel it for myself.

I just couldn't go there, not when I still planned on leaving after graduation…and I had to leave, it wasn't even a choice; Bella needed a chance to move on with her life.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Bella and I were forced to sit next to each other, which I was actually thrilled about, even if no one else knew. And we all just sat there uncomfortably as we ate in silence for awhile. Esme kept trying to make small talk with Charlie, but the man didn't have much to say so it was like pulling teeth.

Rose was also quiet because she was still scared to be around my family due to the way she and Em were caught screwing; of course, the way I embarrassed her afterwards didn't help, but she was trying for Emmett's sake. He kept shooting me warning glares to remind me to watch my mouth, but to be honest, I really didn't want to embarrass Rose anymore than I wanted disappointed looks from Charlie.

"So dad, have you been keeping track of football much this season?" Bella asked Charlie out of nowhere.

Emmett and Carlisle automatically became interested.

"Uh, yeah actually. I mean, as much as I can," Charlie said hesitantly. And that was all it took. Carlisle and Emmett took over the conversation and the three of them were rambling on as if they were all best friends.

I had to admit, I was really fucking impressed by Bella; she knew exactly what to do to make the situation a little less agonizing.

I absently placed my hand on her knee, but she turned her head and glared at me, so I promptly removed it. Damn, I really couldn't wait until bedtime.

After dinner was over, I decided to be nice and help clear the table… although, I guess it was for selfish reasons. Bella always helped Esme with cleanup, so I just really wanted to get it all done as soon as possible so we could make our way upstairs. When the table was clear however, I still had more waiting to do.

"Thanks honey. Now, you better hurry along before Edward drives everyone crazy," Esme said lovingly to Bella after they were finished with the dishes.

I had been pacing back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, and despite their ignorance to the nature of my and Bella's relationship, it was obvious that I was waiting for her.

Bella said something back to Esme, but I couldn't make it out because I was already halfway up the stairs.

It was much early than our usually 'naked time', but I was desperate so the second I got to our room, I immediately started stripping.

I jumped into bed, and wondered what was taking her so long to join me.

She strolled in leisurely a couple minutes later, but instead of taking off her clothes like I hoped, she just plopped down on the new rocking chair in the corner of the room.

One by one, different baby items had started to appear in our room, and the first of which was the rocking chair. But I did my best to not think about any of it, I just couldn't if I wanted to stay sane.

"Uh…are you going to come to bed?" I asked her after a minute.

"I'm really tired today," she said casually.

Fuck.

"Is this payback for the whole knee touching thing at dinner?" I asked her suspiciously.

"No!" she said angrily. "I thought we agreed that this was going to be on my terms?"

I sighed. "Ok," I said quietly. She was right after all; if she didn't feel like it, then I sure as hell wasn't going to pressure her into it.

I got redressed, then grabbed my pillow and pulled it down to the floor, but all that did was piss Bella off even more.

"Oh, so because I don't feel like fucking, you can't stand the thought of sleeping next to me?" she asked irately.

"Whoa, I thought you just wanted some space," I said defensively.

"Some space? As in - I'm too fat for the bed and we both can't fit anymore. That kind of 'space'?" she fumed.

What. The. Fuck.

I didn't know what to say or do, but I knew continuing to speak wasn't doing either of us any good.

But out of nowhere, I just started laughing. I didn't mean to laugh at her, and I knew she was just hormonal so I didn't take it personally, but everything about her outburst was funny to me.

She glared at me even more intensely as I tried to control my laughter, and then she snapped. She screamed out of frustration, and she picked up the first thing she could get a hold of, and chucked it at my head.

I ducked and narrowly missed the flying book, but that didn't satisfy her. She picked something else up and threw it just as hard, but this time it hit me. I was only glad that it was just a pillow.

But I couldn't take that lying down, so I picked up a different pillow, and threw it back at her. I didn't do it hard enough to hurt her, but it was enough to shock her. I was expecting full on fury after that, but she surprised me by smiling and then picking up the pillow again, and charging me with it.

Feathers started flying everywhere as we thrashed the pillows with our impromptu battle. But it didn't matter, because we were actually laughing, both of us, together at the same time. We jumped on the bed…well, I jumped and she just basically stood there and let me bounce her. We chased each other around, and rolled in the feathers like a couple of kids; it was the most fun I could remember having in a long time, and it felt really good.

I think we both needed that. We needed some time to let everything go and just let our guards down for awhile. And as odd as it sounded, I think we may have even connected on a different level that evening. There were no false pretenses and no ulterior motives, it was just her and I, and we were playing with each other for no other reason than just to have fun together.

Eventually, I could tell that her exhaustion was taking over, so I waved the white flag and ended playtime. She laid in the bed to calm herself down, and I laid beside her, just enjoying her presence.

We were both lying on our backs, but then she surprised me by rolling over to face me, so I did the same. Our faces were within inches of each other, and I found myself altering my breaths so that when she breathed out, I breathed her in.

"Will you take off your shirt?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," I said without hesitation, and for the first time, it had nothing to do with sex. When my shirt was on the floor, she scooted closer to me and wrapped her arms around my bare torso, before closing her eyes and going to sleep. I continued breathing her in, taking deep breaths so she filled my lungs, and I just laid there completely content while I watched her sleep. She was absolutely mesmerizing.

I must have finally fallen asleep as well, because the next thing I knew, it was morning. I woke up before her, in the exact position I had fallen asleep in, and I couldn't remember a time when I felt more rested.

I watched her sleep again, but after awhile, I could tell by the way that she was breathing that she was actually awake and just faking. I smiled knowing she was enjoying our quiet time together as much as I was, but it was actually getting late in the morning, so I decided it was time for her to open her eyes.

I started by pressing my lips lightly to her eyelids, and then I proceeded to pepper her entire face with kisses. She kept her eyes closed and tried not to smile, but she quickly broke and began giggling. Then we were in full on make out mode, but it wasn't our usual erotic kissing, it was gentle and passionate at the same time.

What the hell was happening to us?

After a few minutes, our kiss slowed, but we still didn't pull away. We just rested our heads together and basked in the amazing moment.

"You have morning breath," she said abruptly with a giggle.

"Mmm, you taste like feet," I said softly.

It should have been enough to make us separate, but we only held each other closer and continued to smell each other's unpleasant aromas.

But all too soon, she pulled away.

"Where are you going?" I whined. It was Saturday so we didn't have school, and all I wanted was to stay in that position with her all morning… granted I had to piss, but that was beside the point.

"I have an appointment this morning," she reminded me with a smile.

"Oh, right….do you want me to go with you?" I asked surprising both of us.

Why the hell would I offer that? In fact the thought of it scared the shit out of me, but it was too late to take it back.

She stared at me in disbelief, but then she shook her head.

"You don't have to do that," she said as she continued to get ready.

"I want to," I blurted out.

What the hell was wrong with me?

It wasn't actually a complete lie. I did want to go, but only because I wasn't ready to be away from her yet. Esme had given me a brief description of what went down during her appointments; she gets measured and weighed, some kind of finger poke thing, and then we could leave, right? None of it was a big deal, and I could definitely handle it.

"You really want to go?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah," I said. I was going to add a joke, but then thought better of it.

"Ok," she said with a smile that completely took my breath away.

How the hell did I become so pathetically whipped so quickly?

We finished getting ready, and then it was time to leave.

"I'm really proud of you," Esme whispered to me as Bella and I were walking out the front door.

And that was all it took to flip my switch.

I had no idea why, but her comment really fucking pissed me off. I didn't need or want her praise, and it was just a reminder that I was going down a road that I had no intentions of following through with.

I didn't even realize it, but as I drove onto the highway, I was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. I didn't realize it because I was freaking myself out too much, but Bella certainly did take notice.

"Edward, just pull over!" she yelled at me. Apparently she had tried to get my attention a few times, but I was too zoned out to hear her.

"What?" I yelled back.

"You're not even paying attention to the road," she nagged.

"We're fine! Why the hell are you freaking out?" I asked angrily.

"Maybe because I don't want to end up wrapped around a tree!" she screamed.

"Well, I don't want to hear you bitch!" I shouted back.

"If you can't stay in the lines, then just let me drive," she continued.

"Oh fuck, just drop it," I said frustrated.

"I told you that you didn't have to come…"

We bickered all the way to the doctor's office, and when we arrived, I really had to fight the urge to just leave her there.

I sat in the waiting room three chairs away from her, and agitatedly tore through a copy of Sports Illustrated without actually reading or seeing anything in it.

"Bella, we're ready for you," a nurse said finally.

"Are you going to come in?" she asked sourly when I didn't get up.

"No," I said coldly.

"Whatever," she said under her breath, and then she followed the nurse inside.

I really didn't know what I was so angry at, but I just couldn't shake it. Everything was pissing me off, even the way the chairs were arranged in the waiting room rubbed me the wrong way.

But then the worst thing that could possibly happen, happened. A woman walked in, carrying one of those baby carrier things, and with all the empty seats in the room, she had to sit right next to me.

What the hell.

It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't turn the thing so that the kid was facing me, but she did, and it actually started making noises at me.

"She likes you," the woman said to me.

I scowled bitterly at her comment, but she didn't have time to see it because the receptionist called her up to speak to her. I glanced down briefly, and realized that the bitch actually left her kid there with me.

Uh…

But it really wasn't my problem, so I tried to ignore it; it wasn't like the woman left the room, or anything.

And then my mind started working in overdrive again. I started thinking about how everyone seemed to be so enamored with kids, so I looked back down at the baby and tried to figure out what all the fuss was about. She kept making noises as if she was trying to talk to me or something, but all I could think of then was how ugly she was. She looked like Darth Vader in 'Return of the Jedi' when he was dying and asked Luke to take off his mask. And then I started thinking about how sad it was that people were born and died the same way; helpless with diapers, looking like old shriveled up men. Humans as a species were pretty fucking pathetic.

All of a sudden, for no reason that I could see, the baby just started screaming bloody murder. It was the type of scream that went straight into your fucking brain, and caused an immediate migraine.

"Uh…" I looked up at the woman, but she continued talking away with the receptionist as if the crying wasn't a big deal. "It's ok…" I said awkwardly, and tried to jiggle the carrier to rock the baby to sleep….they liked that sort of thing, right?

I vaguely remembered Bree being a baby, and my mother had told me then that all babies liked being rocked. But this kid still wouldn't shut up.

"Um…excuse me!" I called to the woman in almost a panic.

"Sorry about that," the woman said sheepishly as she came back. "She's just hungry," she explained.

I was grateful that all the baby wanted was a bottle and the loud screaming was about to end, but then it happened. The woman started unbuttoning her shirt, and I knew there was no way in hell that I'd be able to sit there while she did that.

I practically ran up to the receptionist. "Uh…my wife is in there, can I go to her?" I asked desperately.

"Sure…Bella right?"

I nodded.

"Ok, room three," she told me.

"Yes, you are hungry, aren't you?" I heard the woman behind me cooing to her baby…Ugh!

"Thanks," I said quickly and then hurried inside.

I found room three easy enough, and was surprised to see Bella in there alone. I really thought she would have been almost done by then, but it looked like they hadn't even started yet.

"Hey," Bella said, surprised to see me.

"Hey," I said feeling guilty for my previous fit. "Sorry," I mumbled.

She smiled halfhearted to me, and accepted my lame ass apology. She knew me well enough to know that I don't do apologies very often, so even a mumbled pathetic one was worth something.

"Come and sit," she said and pointed to the chair next to her, so I did.

"What's taking so long?" I asked. I tried my best to sound more curious than annoyed, but I had no idea how well it came out.

"Oh, I'm all finished with the routine exam, this is just the ultrasound," she said, taking me aback.

I looked around the room in pure horror as I noticed all the specialized equipment for the first time. There were computers, and monitors, and a whole hell of a lot of weird shit. Fucking Esme did that shit to me on purpose.

I stood, and tried to think of an excuse to escape. "Um, I think…." I was about to tell her that I needed to go out for a smoke, but then the doctor walked in.

Fuck.

"Well hello, you must be Edward," she said to me with her hand outstretched. When I didn't shake her hand, she dropped it, and continued introducing herself. "I'm Doctor Kebi; it's nice to finally meet you."

I wasn't trying to be rude, but I had suddenly found myself completely frozen and unable to control any of my motor functions.

"Ok, let's begin, shall we?" she said before going to turn off the lights.

Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me back down so I was sitting where she told me to again, and then she laid back and pulled up her shirt.

The doctor squirted some gel crap on her stomach, then put the stick thing to it…and then a loud swishing thumping noise echoed throughout the room. I understood what the noise was, but I tried to block it from my mind, I really didn't want to hear it.

Bella was still holding my hand, but it wasn't in an affectionate way, it was in restraint. It was as if she knew I wanted nothing more than to bolt from the room, and she was holding me there with every last ounce of energy she had.

"And there's the head," the doctor said, but I still wouldn't look. The Doctor continued to name off body parts, but then she said the one thing that would knock me on my ass.

"Do you still want to know the sex?" she asked Bella.

She must have nodded, because I didn't hear her answer.

"It's a boy."

I felt like my heart stopped. For whatever reason, learning the sex made everything infinitely more real. I couldn't just think of it as some parasite that had invaded Bella's body anymore, and despite sharing those awkward moments with the ugly baby in the waiting room, I couldn't help but be in absolute awe of the monster in the monitor.

Yeah, I finally looked, I couldn't help it.

It was definitely odd looking, and resembled some kind of alien more than a human, but it was inside of Bella; it was a part of her, and came from her, so at that moment, it became the most amazing creature in the entire world.

"Oh shit!" I said slightly startled when the baby moved on the screen.

Bella giggled at me, but I couldn't take my eyes off the monitor.

"The fetus is nice and active," the doctor said amused by my outburst. I almost wanted to chew her out for calling my kid a 'fetus', but the bitterness melted away as quickly as it came; nothing could really upset me in that moment.

I was finally able to turn and look at Bella, and she was looking at the monitor with pure adoration plastered all over her face. It was an expression she never let me see before, and I realized that it probably would have sickened me if I saw it without feeling it myself, but I understood her completely. It was amazing, and I knew my life would never be the same.

Suddenly everything made sense. When Carlisle told me that my life had to become about Bella and the baby, it had nothing to do with rules or what was right, it was just a simple fact. It wasn't a choice that I had to make, it chose me and I was absolutely helpless to fight anymore. It was as if I had been running on a conveyer belt all my life, always trying to run in the opposite direction of fate, but eventually, I had to fall off the end.

"Here, put this in the boot and leave it there; that way you won't forget to bring it to the hospital with you when you give birth," the doctor told Bella before handing her some papers of some sort.

"In the boot?" Bella questioned her.

"Oh sorry, I mean the truck. Sometimes I get the words mixed up because my boyfriend is English," the doctor explained.

"Oh, ok," Bella said with a smile.

"I'll see you in four weeks," the doctor said before walking out of the room.

I felt like I was hearing their whole conversation from under water, and yet it was all extremely clear at the same time.

We walked out of the office and Bella insisted on driving home, but besides that, we didn't speak. I didn't remember the trip, but when we got there, I knew I needed some time alone to let it all sink in.

"Uh…I'll be back in a little while," I told her before taking the keys from her. She looked confused and maybe even a bit worried, but she didn't say anything and just went into the house.

I drove absently for awhile, and wound up at the beach. I got out and stood on the sand dunes, and just tried to consider my life.

I couldn't be what Bella needed me to be, I just didn't have it in me…except, what if I could? What if I didn't have to leave after graduation; what if I stayed and just became what everyone hoped I'd be? Not just playing a part and pretending to be good, but really and truly becoming the guy Bella needed, and actually be happy.

Maybe I could do it. Maybe I could be content as just being Bella's husband and raising our son together. Maybe I could go to college locally and make something of myself; support my family respectably and live a normal life. Maybe we'd have more kids, and we'd have family BBQs and I'd coach little league…maybe Bella and I would end up one of those little old couples, still holding hands eighty years later…

But maybe I'd find myself stagnant and resenting my life, maybe I'd become distant and Bella would want to leave me, and maybe I'd snap and find a gun, maybe….

"UGH!" I yelled out loud, and aggressively threw a rock towards the sea.

I didn't know what to do, but it was clear in that moment what I wanted. I wanted my family, I wanted Bella and my baby, but I knew they deserved so much better.

***Poor Edward, so conflicted. Lol

I'm not going to assume to know how everyone will react anymore. I learned my lesson with the last chapter, so please enlighten me and REVIEW! ;p