Sorry for the delay, but I've been extremely busy last weeks, so it's quite difficult to get to the writing. Unfortunately, I can't promise it will get better. I can just hope that you'll still stay with me. I'll post new chapter as fast as possible, promised!
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12 - Love Stinks
Beka was nervously pacing around and cursing. She felt like she'd been left out by not taking a part at the assignment down on the planet. "Damn, why did Dylan took Rommie along? She is no more capable of protecting him. Even more, I think she'll distract him from his duties. As if I wouldn't have noticed, how he looks at her! Damn!" She continued walking around and didn't even notice Harper's looks. He was watching her from the corner of his eyes, not really knowing what to think about it. He had rarely seen her so nervous before.
"Boss, why are you so nervous? I think that they will be perfectly well down there. I wouldn't worry about them."
"I don't worry about them all!" snapped Beka. "I just think it's not appropriate that Dylan decided Rommie could come along. I mean, she's not an android and she surely isn't capable of acting in extreme situations properly. She'll only be in a way if it comes to a fight."
Harper's eyes grew wide and a sudden thought shot through his mind. "Is it really possible, that Beka is jealous of Rommie?" Well, to be honest, he also didn't appreciate Dylan taking Rommie with him, but in the past few days he realized, that it is no use if he tries to interfere with their relation. He noticed the tension between them and soon enough he concluded, that it is inevitable, that they will find a way to come closer. Rommie still treated him like she did before, but nothing more. And, after all; he wasn't her creator any more. He was just another member of the crew, an engineer who took care of the ship. And Rommie was no more a part of the ship, so his relation to her degraded into a relation between two crewmembers. And, to be honest, although it was very hard for him, he gradually accepted the fact, he has no chance of becoming closer to her. And now he realized, that also Beka wasn't as unimpressed as she pretended to be. He suddenly understood why she'd been acting a bit odd sometimes, giving strange looks to Dylan and Rommie.
"Boss," he started carefully, trying to sound neutral, "I don't think Dylan made a mistake by taking Rommie along. She knows her thing about the computers and can be very useful if they have to break into some programs."
"I didn't speak about her capabilities as an computer expert. I just simply stated, they might fall into a fight and she might not be very useful at that!" answered Beka angrily.
Harper stood still for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Should he try to sort out things or should he let it go? After a while he decided, it's about a time, Beka realizes the inevitable and the sooner she does, the better would it be for the whole crew and for her especially. After all, the new android body was being built and who knows, how the things will turn out once Rommie's ego would be transferred back to an android body.
"I think we should talk," mention he carefully, looking at Beka.
She stopped and looked at him, not really knowing how to respond. "What the hell do we have to talk about?"
"Boss, I really don't want to get into your personal affairs, but I think, you are taking it too personally. I mean, after all, Dylan is our captain and has the right to decide whom he takes on a mission and who stays here. But, I think, we have to discuss something else."
Before he could continue, Beka cut him: "Mr. Harper! Just because you are an engineer and we've known each other for a long time know, it doesn't give you the right to tell me if I'm taking it too personally or not. I'm perfectly capable of dividing my personal feelings from my professionalism."
Harper shrugged a bit, but he didn't want to back up now. "Sorry, but I don't think so. I think that you're letting your feelings influence your professional behavior and your judgment. Look, I know we all have our problems adapting to the new circumstances. But we must accept them. At least until we reinstall the old situation again. I mean, we have to cope with the fact, that there is much more than just professional relation between Dylan and Rommie now. I don't like it, but I accept it. I can't do anything else. And I think, you should do the same."
Beka took few steps towards Harper and her eyes revealed her anger: "How dare you, Harper! How dare you say I don't accept this situation!"
Harper retreated a step, seeing dangerous glistening of Beka's eyes, but still didn't want to back up. It was about the time they once for all clear this latent problem, which presented a constant threat to the crew. "Beka, please, try to understand me. Look, as Rommie became human, I thought that I might get a chance to come closer to her. But I never really had one. I know she sees only Dylan and I decided I'd rather forget about my dreams. It's hard, it hurts, but it's the only way. And as I see, you also have more than just professional feelings for Dylan. Believe me Beka, it won't work! Dylan has eyes only for Rommie. I hate to be the one who say this to you, but it's the truth. The only, though painful truth! And the sooner you accept it the better for you and us."
Beka suddenly stopped. Her arms fell down, and she hanged her head. What Harper was trying to tell her was the truth. She knew that before, just didn't want to admit it. The past few days have been a living hell for her. She noticed how Dylan changed his attitude towards Rommie. Every time he looked at her his face brightened and he smiled at her, even if she wasn't aware of that. And every time she saw it, she gave him that million volt, shining smile of hers. Beka recalled the discussion she had with Rommie after the meeting. She knew then already, Rommie wouldn't just allow Dylan slip away from her. And she couldn't let her do it. But with each hour, with each minute afterwards she was loosing ground under her feet and Rommie was gaining it.
Beka sighed and looked at Harper with such a pain in her eyes, that it hurt him. "I know, Harper. I know. But it's so hard. I have been living on a hope for such a long time and as I finally got a bit closer, this change came and destroyed everything I've build up before with just one wipe. I hate to admit it, but you're right. I have been hoping Dylan would see what I feel for him, but he only has eyes for Rommie. Yes, I wish her nothing good and I'm ashamed of it. But it's stronger than me."
Harper took a step towards Beka and laid his hand on her shoulder: "I know it hurts. But you'll have to cope with it. Please, believe me, the best thing would be if you persuade yourself, there is absolutely no chance of you and Dylan getting together. It has never been an option, trust me. I've been watching them for a long time now. Dylan has always had some special relation with Rommie, from the first day on. She represented much more than just a ship's avatar for him, although he never admitted it to himself. And now, I think it's only a matter of days or hours, until he finally gives in."
Beka looked extremely miserable and hung her eyes, without responding to him. Yes, she was perfectly aware of that fact. She was perfectly aware, that Dylan would fall for Rommie very soon. And, although it hurt, although it hurt like hell, she knew Harper was right. She looked him into his eyes and saw compassion in them. She saw his hurt and it was a bit relieving, to see, she's not alone in this mess getting hurt. She sighed: "Yeah, Harper, I know that. I know I should erase him from my thoughts. Oh God, if it only wouldn't be so hard! I know you've been hurt too. Let's just try to help each other get over it. Agreed?"
Harper smiled and nodded: "Boss, I will always be there for you, believe me. I really didn't think I'd get over it. Well, to be honest - I'm not over it yet, but at least, the pain is bearable. I can now even be happy for Rommie and just hope she'd be happy too. You know, I've been watching her a bit more thoroughly last days. Believe me, she really loves him. Maybe now even more, as she is no more an android. I guess it's the hormones that sped up her feelings. And please, don't be mad at her. You see, it's just the way it is with you. She can't help falling in love with him, just as you can't help. The only, though painful, devastating difference is, that she has his love and you not."
He stopped for a second and then, seeing the pain in her eyes continued: "Look, Beka, I don't expect you to get over it over night. I know it's impossible. But, you must get over it. Otherwise it could jeopardize us all. Try to look at this the way I do; try to be happy for him. Yeah, it's very easy to say, but very difficult to act on it. But, with the time, the pain won't sting so bitter as it does right now. Besides, don't forget, we are working on restoring the previous situation. Rommie will get a new body, her personality will be transferred back again and who knows ......... maybe Dylan will then change his mind."
"Just hopeful wishing, Harper! Do you really believe he'd start something with her just to abandon her later? No, no, that's impossible. OK, I might not get Dylan, but I still do respect him. And I know him good enough to know, he wouldn't just finish a relation like that. He does have his dignity and I believe if he'd start something with Rommie, it wouldn't be just one night stand. Besides, Harper, have you maybe thought of the possibility, that Rommie or Dylan or perhaps even both, could reconsider their standpoints? Maybe they will no longer want Rommie's personality to be transferred back to the android body. I mean, Rommie now has a chance to experience everything we humans do, without having to be aware she's an android! And, seeing her love for Dylan, it might be of an advantage for her, to simply remain in her human body. Do you get the point?"
Harper gasped for air and looked astonished: "Geez, I have really never thought of that! I was always considering it definite, that the transfer back to an android is inevitable. But, on the other hand, if I try to see the things the way you just explained, you might have right! And we couldn't do a damn thing to change it!" His eyes grew wide and a certain amount of horror could be seen in them. Nope, he never even thought of such possibility. And now, as Beka explained it, he was beginning to se the point of it.
Beka bitterly smiled at him and nodded:" Yep, my dear Harper, that's the way I'm afraid the things will go. I don't believe Rommie will ever want to be transferred back into machine world, once she'll experience the sweetness of being together with the one she loves as a human woman. I guess, we should consider it a highly possible alternative and try to shape our lives anew."
Harper was left speechless and just stared into Beka's eyes. His mouth stood open and the blizzard of thoughts made it's way through his brain, thoughts and pictures of Dylan being together with human Rommie. What could possibly be that an obstacle for them two not getting together? He couldn't think of any one! He turned to Beka and said: "Well, I think we have no chance in that case. Damn, love stinks!"
Beka echoed: "Yep, love stinks!"
TBC
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12 - Love Stinks
Beka was nervously pacing around and cursing. She felt like she'd been left out by not taking a part at the assignment down on the planet. "Damn, why did Dylan took Rommie along? She is no more capable of protecting him. Even more, I think she'll distract him from his duties. As if I wouldn't have noticed, how he looks at her! Damn!" She continued walking around and didn't even notice Harper's looks. He was watching her from the corner of his eyes, not really knowing what to think about it. He had rarely seen her so nervous before.
"Boss, why are you so nervous? I think that they will be perfectly well down there. I wouldn't worry about them."
"I don't worry about them all!" snapped Beka. "I just think it's not appropriate that Dylan decided Rommie could come along. I mean, she's not an android and she surely isn't capable of acting in extreme situations properly. She'll only be in a way if it comes to a fight."
Harper's eyes grew wide and a sudden thought shot through his mind. "Is it really possible, that Beka is jealous of Rommie?" Well, to be honest, he also didn't appreciate Dylan taking Rommie with him, but in the past few days he realized, that it is no use if he tries to interfere with their relation. He noticed the tension between them and soon enough he concluded, that it is inevitable, that they will find a way to come closer. Rommie still treated him like she did before, but nothing more. And, after all; he wasn't her creator any more. He was just another member of the crew, an engineer who took care of the ship. And Rommie was no more a part of the ship, so his relation to her degraded into a relation between two crewmembers. And, to be honest, although it was very hard for him, he gradually accepted the fact, he has no chance of becoming closer to her. And now he realized, that also Beka wasn't as unimpressed as she pretended to be. He suddenly understood why she'd been acting a bit odd sometimes, giving strange looks to Dylan and Rommie.
"Boss," he started carefully, trying to sound neutral, "I don't think Dylan made a mistake by taking Rommie along. She knows her thing about the computers and can be very useful if they have to break into some programs."
"I didn't speak about her capabilities as an computer expert. I just simply stated, they might fall into a fight and she might not be very useful at that!" answered Beka angrily.
Harper stood still for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Should he try to sort out things or should he let it go? After a while he decided, it's about a time, Beka realizes the inevitable and the sooner she does, the better would it be for the whole crew and for her especially. After all, the new android body was being built and who knows, how the things will turn out once Rommie's ego would be transferred back to an android body.
"I think we should talk," mention he carefully, looking at Beka.
She stopped and looked at him, not really knowing how to respond. "What the hell do we have to talk about?"
"Boss, I really don't want to get into your personal affairs, but I think, you are taking it too personally. I mean, after all, Dylan is our captain and has the right to decide whom he takes on a mission and who stays here. But, I think, we have to discuss something else."
Before he could continue, Beka cut him: "Mr. Harper! Just because you are an engineer and we've known each other for a long time know, it doesn't give you the right to tell me if I'm taking it too personally or not. I'm perfectly capable of dividing my personal feelings from my professionalism."
Harper shrugged a bit, but he didn't want to back up now. "Sorry, but I don't think so. I think that you're letting your feelings influence your professional behavior and your judgment. Look, I know we all have our problems adapting to the new circumstances. But we must accept them. At least until we reinstall the old situation again. I mean, we have to cope with the fact, that there is much more than just professional relation between Dylan and Rommie now. I don't like it, but I accept it. I can't do anything else. And I think, you should do the same."
Beka took few steps towards Harper and her eyes revealed her anger: "How dare you, Harper! How dare you say I don't accept this situation!"
Harper retreated a step, seeing dangerous glistening of Beka's eyes, but still didn't want to back up. It was about the time they once for all clear this latent problem, which presented a constant threat to the crew. "Beka, please, try to understand me. Look, as Rommie became human, I thought that I might get a chance to come closer to her. But I never really had one. I know she sees only Dylan and I decided I'd rather forget about my dreams. It's hard, it hurts, but it's the only way. And as I see, you also have more than just professional feelings for Dylan. Believe me Beka, it won't work! Dylan has eyes only for Rommie. I hate to be the one who say this to you, but it's the truth. The only, though painful truth! And the sooner you accept it the better for you and us."
Beka suddenly stopped. Her arms fell down, and she hanged her head. What Harper was trying to tell her was the truth. She knew that before, just didn't want to admit it. The past few days have been a living hell for her. She noticed how Dylan changed his attitude towards Rommie. Every time he looked at her his face brightened and he smiled at her, even if she wasn't aware of that. And every time she saw it, she gave him that million volt, shining smile of hers. Beka recalled the discussion she had with Rommie after the meeting. She knew then already, Rommie wouldn't just allow Dylan slip away from her. And she couldn't let her do it. But with each hour, with each minute afterwards she was loosing ground under her feet and Rommie was gaining it.
Beka sighed and looked at Harper with such a pain in her eyes, that it hurt him. "I know, Harper. I know. But it's so hard. I have been living on a hope for such a long time and as I finally got a bit closer, this change came and destroyed everything I've build up before with just one wipe. I hate to admit it, but you're right. I have been hoping Dylan would see what I feel for him, but he only has eyes for Rommie. Yes, I wish her nothing good and I'm ashamed of it. But it's stronger than me."
Harper took a step towards Beka and laid his hand on her shoulder: "I know it hurts. But you'll have to cope with it. Please, believe me, the best thing would be if you persuade yourself, there is absolutely no chance of you and Dylan getting together. It has never been an option, trust me. I've been watching them for a long time now. Dylan has always had some special relation with Rommie, from the first day on. She represented much more than just a ship's avatar for him, although he never admitted it to himself. And now, I think it's only a matter of days or hours, until he finally gives in."
Beka looked extremely miserable and hung her eyes, without responding to him. Yes, she was perfectly aware of that fact. She was perfectly aware, that Dylan would fall for Rommie very soon. And, although it hurt, although it hurt like hell, she knew Harper was right. She looked him into his eyes and saw compassion in them. She saw his hurt and it was a bit relieving, to see, she's not alone in this mess getting hurt. She sighed: "Yeah, Harper, I know that. I know I should erase him from my thoughts. Oh God, if it only wouldn't be so hard! I know you've been hurt too. Let's just try to help each other get over it. Agreed?"
Harper smiled and nodded: "Boss, I will always be there for you, believe me. I really didn't think I'd get over it. Well, to be honest - I'm not over it yet, but at least, the pain is bearable. I can now even be happy for Rommie and just hope she'd be happy too. You know, I've been watching her a bit more thoroughly last days. Believe me, she really loves him. Maybe now even more, as she is no more an android. I guess it's the hormones that sped up her feelings. And please, don't be mad at her. You see, it's just the way it is with you. She can't help falling in love with him, just as you can't help. The only, though painful, devastating difference is, that she has his love and you not."
He stopped for a second and then, seeing the pain in her eyes continued: "Look, Beka, I don't expect you to get over it over night. I know it's impossible. But, you must get over it. Otherwise it could jeopardize us all. Try to look at this the way I do; try to be happy for him. Yeah, it's very easy to say, but very difficult to act on it. But, with the time, the pain won't sting so bitter as it does right now. Besides, don't forget, we are working on restoring the previous situation. Rommie will get a new body, her personality will be transferred back again and who knows ......... maybe Dylan will then change his mind."
"Just hopeful wishing, Harper! Do you really believe he'd start something with her just to abandon her later? No, no, that's impossible. OK, I might not get Dylan, but I still do respect him. And I know him good enough to know, he wouldn't just finish a relation like that. He does have his dignity and I believe if he'd start something with Rommie, it wouldn't be just one night stand. Besides, Harper, have you maybe thought of the possibility, that Rommie or Dylan or perhaps even both, could reconsider their standpoints? Maybe they will no longer want Rommie's personality to be transferred back to the android body. I mean, Rommie now has a chance to experience everything we humans do, without having to be aware she's an android! And, seeing her love for Dylan, it might be of an advantage for her, to simply remain in her human body. Do you get the point?"
Harper gasped for air and looked astonished: "Geez, I have really never thought of that! I was always considering it definite, that the transfer back to an android is inevitable. But, on the other hand, if I try to see the things the way you just explained, you might have right! And we couldn't do a damn thing to change it!" His eyes grew wide and a certain amount of horror could be seen in them. Nope, he never even thought of such possibility. And now, as Beka explained it, he was beginning to se the point of it.
Beka bitterly smiled at him and nodded:" Yep, my dear Harper, that's the way I'm afraid the things will go. I don't believe Rommie will ever want to be transferred back into machine world, once she'll experience the sweetness of being together with the one she loves as a human woman. I guess, we should consider it a highly possible alternative and try to shape our lives anew."
Harper was left speechless and just stared into Beka's eyes. His mouth stood open and the blizzard of thoughts made it's way through his brain, thoughts and pictures of Dylan being together with human Rommie. What could possibly be that an obstacle for them two not getting together? He couldn't think of any one! He turned to Beka and said: "Well, I think we have no chance in that case. Damn, love stinks!"
Beka echoed: "Yep, love stinks!"
TBC