Chapter 12

About an hour and a half had passed since Harry, Isis, and Severus had curled up for a nap. All three seemed to be resting peacefully at the time. The whole manor seemed to know that their masters were resting because there was complete silence throughout the whole manor. Everything in the manor was peaceful for the time being.

Then all of a sudden Harry woke and struggled to sit up knowing that something was wrong. He took a few deep, but silent breaths as he tried to figure out what was wrong. After a few moments he realized why he woke up was because he was close to getting sick. He still felt weak, but he knew he had to find a way to make it to the bathroom. Harry looked at Severus and Isis and noticed that they were both sleeping peacefully still.

Harry sighed very softly as he glanced around the room in search of a bathroom. Relief washed over him for a moment as he caught sight of a bathroom a few feet away from the door leading to the hall. He stole another quick glance at Severus and Isis to see if they were still sleeping. They were, and so was Kasha, Harry noticed for the first time since waking up.

Deciding that he wasn't going to wake either of the two sleeping vampires, Harry began to slowly and carefully crawl toward the foot of the bed. Once he reached the foot of the bed he paused long enough to catch his breath before he cautiously stood up. He took a few shaky steps toward the bathroom before his legs gave out from under him and he collapsed onto the floor. He barely managed to prevent his face from connecting with the floor.

Harry used his elbows to push himself up a little bit as he looked toward the bathroom. 'Darn, that hurt.' He thought to himself. 'Merlin! I'd better hurry before I end up getting sick right here.'

It took a few minutes, but Harry managed to drag himself into the bathroom. He lightly kicked the door and it closed until there was only a crack of an opening. He had been able to prevent himself from being sick until he pulled himself up enough to be able to reach the toilet. He ended up spending the next few minutes hunched over the toilet emptying his stomach until he was just dry hacking and coughing.

During that time Severus began to stir sensing that something wasn't quite right. As he opened his eyes he heard the slightly muffled sounds coming from the bathroom.

'Shit!' Severus cursed mentally as he quietly got off the bed. 'This is the last thing he needs right now.'

'Do you need me?' Isis began to stir but not quite wake up, yet she could still communicate with Severus while she was still asleep.

Severus turned back to Isis and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 'No.' Severus replied. 'You need to get as much rest as you can sense you haven't been able to rest at all in a fortnight.' He paused for a moment as Harry's retching turned to the dry hacking and coughing. 'I will tend to Harry.'

After a moment or two Severus was sure that Isis would remain sleeping. He quietly made his way to the bathroom after picking up a potion from the nightstand. He silently pushed the bathroom door open and took in the sight of Harry resting his forehead against the toilet seat.

"Harry." Severus said softly as he want and knelt next to the teen, he didn't want to accidentally spook him. "Are you okay?"

"Not really." Harry hiccupped. "I'm sorry if I woke you." There was a slight catch in his voice that indicated that he was close to tears.

"There's no need to apologize." Severus replied gently as he placed his right hand lightly on Harry's shoulder. "Would you like something to settle your stomach?"

"I suppose so." Harry muttered, he felt like he was going to be sick again very soon. He silently took the potion from Severus and with a shaky hand raised it to his lips and downed it in a few swallows. "Thanks." He muttered as the potion began to take an effect almost immediately.

"Better?" Severus asked.

"Yes." Harry paused for a moment, then asked quietly, "Where's Isis?"

"Still asleep. She had begun to wake, but I told her I would help you so she could remain sleeping." Severus replied.

Harry gave Severus a puzzled look. "Why? And why didn't I hear anything until you said my name?"

Severus sighed as he sat down on the floor. "She hasn't been able to sleep all that much for around a fortnight or so. That's why I told her to keep resting." He paused for a moment to think of how to word the answer to the other question. "You didn't hear anything until I said your name because Isis and I developed a telepathic link a few weeks after we shared blood for the first time. We can communicate with each other even while being asleep because of our shared connection with the telepathic link."

"Oh." Harry said as he processed what Severus said. "She hasn't been able to sleep much for around a fortnight?"

"Correct." Severus stated, wondering where the teen was heading with the conversation.

"Weird." Harry muttered mostly to himself. "That's around the time I got to Private Drive and Vernon started his shit again."

Severus froze in confusion and narrowed his eyes slightly. "Again?" He repeated. He wasn't completely sure about what Harry was referring to when it came to the abuse that he had gone through.

Harry sighed a little. "Let's just say that this wasn't the first time that he did any of that. It just hadn't happened in a really long time (undetected sarcasm). Well, since around the time he found out that I had a godfather accused of murder. He had been afraid that if Sirius found out then he'd come and kill him at the house. He had also been afraid of anyone else in the wizarding world finding out as well because he thought that anyone magical would be willing to kill him or his son if they ever found out what the two of them had been doing to me. He figured that Sirius would lead the 'band wagon' against for abusing me so he told me to keep my mouth shut or I'd end up regretting it." Harry paused as he tried to fight back the tears that were close to being shed. "I guess he changed his mind about not abusing me any more when he found out that Sirius is dead. I suppose he just didn't care anymore because there wouldn't have been anyone left for me to use to 'threaten' him with. "

Severus's heart clenched at the pain in Harry's voice. "Harry, come to me." He said it gently as the teen's tears began to flow. Harry reached out to Severus and was pulled into the older man's lap and embraced just as he began to sob. "Shh. I know it hurts, but given enough time it will get better. None of what has happened to you was ever your fault. I can only hope that you understand that none of it was in any way your fault."

Harry snuggled into Severus's warm embrace and just let his tears flow. He allowed the older man to comfort him as he shed the tears that he had refused to let flow for a long time. A lot of hidden pain came to the surface and was washed away with his tears. After about an hour or so Harry had stopped crying, for the time being he had no more tears to shed.

"I hate crying." Harry grumbled softly. "But I guess I just needed a good cry." He paused for a moment as he shifted enough to rest his head on Severus's shoulder. "And just so you know, there is a part of me that knows that none of it was my fault. The thing is, though, that there seems to be another part of me that wonders what I did for them to think that I deserved what they put me through." Harry shrugged. "Then again, I'm starting to think that it doesn't even really matter anymore why they did any of the things they did. Before Sirius died I don't think that I've let myself cry about any of this since of time during my second year. I suppose that I just kind of got used to that kind of treatment."

"I'm satisfied to know that there is a part of you that does know that it wasn't your fault." Severus stated. "I believe that you have already begun the process of healing."

There was a moment or two of silence as Harry debated about talking about some more of his past or not. He gave a small sigh. May as well, it wasn't as if he had anything to lose by letting someone know about some of the things he went through at school. He felt like he was finally ready to talk.

"Is something wrong, Harry?" Severus asked after he had heard Harry's sigh.

"I'm just mostly thinking, that's all." Harry replied. After a few seconds he asked, "But can I tell you something honestly?"

"Of course you can." Severus answered. "I'll always be here to talk to whenever you want, as is Isis. We'll both listen to anything that you have to say."

Harry took a small breath and let it out again, then said softly, "Vernon and Dudley weren't the only ones who ever molested and/or raped me." He paused for a moment. "I… I just thought I …. I should finally tell someone. I…. I thought that I should tell you and Isis before…. I decide if… if I'm going to tell anyone else." He paused again. "Are you angry or upset with me?" He had to ask since he felt the older man stiffen with his words. "Severus?" He quietly asked after a few minutes of silence went by.

Severus's arms tightened around Harry slightly as he forced himself to relax. "No, Harry, I'm not upset or angry with you." Severus said very gently. "I'm just surprised is all." He leaned over a little bit and gently placed a kiss on Harry's forehead. "You've been through so much so far in your short life. I never realized just how much you have gone through until yesterday and today."

"No one knew just how much I went through until now." Harry shrugged. At this time he felt like he was somehow disconnected from his emotions and in a way he thought that it was a better way for him to be able to talk about his past. In another way it was also a little bit of a relief. Maybe it was more like he was feeling indifferent, he wasn't really sure what it was but it didn't really matter to him at this point in time. "I kept it hidden really well. Not even Ron and Hermione know just how bad it was at the Dursleys or just how bad my life in general has been." He paused for a few moments. "Can I talk about it some more?" Harry muttered.

"Only if you want to." Severus replied. "I won't force the issue."

"I think I do want to talk about it some more." Harry said. Then he took a couple minutes to get his thoughts together. "My life did seem to improve for a while when I first started Hogwarts. I've always felt safe at Hogwarts, even though some of the sexual abuse I went through did happen at Hogwarts as well." Harry stopped to let the information sink in. He also waited for Severus to ask the questions that he must have. He would answer the questions honestly even if he didn't want to. He had so much of it in for so long that it had been eating away at him and he just wanted to get some of it out while he still had the courage to talk about it even though it did hurt to think about it and to talk about it. He really didn't want it to keep eating away at him because that would be more harmful to him than talking about it would be. "Go ahead and ask whatever questions you have right now. I'll be honest and tell you no matter how much it might hurt or how hard it might be. I'm just so tired of keeping it all to myself. I feel like I need to talk about some of it right now. I kind of also feel like I have to talk about the abuse a little." Harry stated softly.

"Dear sweet Merlin!" Severus exclaimed. "It happened at Hogwarts too? Hogwarts is supposed to be one of the safest places in the world, well in the magical world any way."

"Yes, it happened at Hogwarts too." Harry replied calmly. "More times than I care to remember." H e paused briefly. "Hogwarts is still one of the safest places, if anything I think there were times when the castle protected me from some of the worst things that my abusers had planned on doing to me. After all, Hogwarts wouldn't let any of them kill me or torture me. In a way I think that the castle some how managed to save my life a few times."

"Harry, can you tell me who at Hogwarts abused you?" Severus asked as gently as he could. He was very unnerved that Harry had been sexually abused at Hogwarts as well as at Private Drive.

Harry groaned softly. "Damn, I was afraid that you'd ask me that." A small pause. "I could," Harry ceded, "but I know for a fact that you're not going to like what I have to reveal and you'll probably be angry about everything that happened to me at school. And you'll definitely be pissed off about who it was that has abused me."

Severus was starting to really worry. "How do you know I'll react so badly?" He asked.

"Oh, please!" Harry grumbled in exasperation. "After observing you for all of these years in class and in school in general I know that much about you. I know enough about you to know that you hate anything and everything about child abuse and hate anyone who abuses a child. You'll be royally pissed about it because you know them. Just knowing their names will most likely be enough to anger you." He stopped for a moment. "I don't really want to see you angry about this, but if you really do want their names then I'll tell you and let you do what you wish with the information."

Severus took a couple deep breaths to steady himself and he closed his eyes. "Who?" Severus said tonelessly. "If you are really sure then I wish to hear their names."

To Be Continued…..

A/N: So who will Harry's abusers at Hogwarts be? Will Harry really be up to telling Severus about the abuse he suffered while at Hogwarts like he thought he would be able to do? You'll all have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter. And if you guys really, really want to know who the abusers are then please review because the more reviews I get then the better the chances that I'll post chapter 13 within the next 2-3 weeks instead of me waiting until after I graduate from high school in June. Maybe if we're all lucky then I might be able to get both chapter 13 done and post and have chapter 14 done as well. Until the next update I wish all of you readers the best of regards. - Ice Princess.