A/N: Okay, so this chapter's gonna be a bit wack. Well, it's always wack. Anyhoo, I'm sorry about the wait... I say that all the time now... WAAAHHHH!!!!! Anyway, enjoy... And get your pencil and paper ready. Your doom awaits. You'll never see again after reading what's below.
Kiaya: What do you MEAN, you're going to let that absolute IDIOT be in charge of-
Author: C'mon, Kiaya, play along...
Serra: I'm here! In all my glory! Hey, you're clicking on the shiny square again!
Author: What? Oh, you mean my computer? Yep, I am.
Serra: Are you writing about ME again? I was awfully bored when the story was based on Erk. He's ucky and boring! And sad!
Author: With good reason.
Serra: What?
Kiaya: Nothing, Serra.
Serra: Anyhoo, whatcha writing now?!
Kiaya: We truly don't know.
Serra: Awww... But I wanna rule the world!
Author: Give me a break. Please. I need peace and... well, proper grammar if I want to do this properly.
Serra: I WANNA RULE THE WORLD!!!
Kiaya: WILL YOU SHUT UP?!
Author: She wouldn't be an interesting character then, would she?
Kiaya: Good point.
Author: On the other hand, what can we do to make you leave?
Serra: Me? Candy!
Kiaya: No way. We're not giving you a sugar high. We like being alive and having hearing and being perfectly all right, thank you.
Serra: I'm gonna cry.
Author: Kiaya, you're not helping.
Kiaya: Ugh! Well, what am I supposed to do?!
Serra: I WANNA RULE THE WORLD AND EAT CANDY AND BEAT ELIMINE UP!
Kiaya: You've technically already killed her good nature and kind spirit.
Serra: What?
Author: That's a good explanation. The reviewers have been wondering why Elimine is so evil. Now you know, 'cause it's Mike's Super Short Show!
Kiaya: ...What did you do, Serra?
Author: I eat candy before writing, Kiaya. You know that. It allows me to delve into my inner mind...
Kiaya: You mean, it allows you to think like a maniac.
Author: Precisely! Spongebob! Oooh... Why haven't I done a parody on that? Or Barney!
Kiaya: Elimine... You can't write a story in this state.
Serra: Ooooohhhh!!! Pick me!
Author: Whuzza?
Kiaya: You've got to be kidding me. We don't want to burn the readers eyes out, do we?
Author: They'll go blind. Hm... Chickens.
Serra: I like chickens.
Kiaya: Although I love to see a great conversation filled with true meaning, maybe I should type the story and Serra should go away.
Author: Not on your life. I am not leaving this seat until the story is...
There is a mild squawking noise as a bloodcurdling scream resonates.
Author: Gotta go! And Kiaya... I'll need you.
Kiaya: What for?! I'm a Muse!
The author gets up and walks awa
serra liks te shynee skren it is almos pretti es serra. ya forrr serra she is preti.
sili awtor hoo wil not let serra tipe her storee
dom on uuu
butt serra wil tipe her storee aneewahhh.
onse opon a tim ter was a pretti prinses. evreebodee lovud her. her nam was serra
she was pretti
on dae she rid her preti ponee to te forehsst. a bandett caht her and tryedd to maree her. but the prinses was sooper smrrt and skaped
ten shii give cokkees too her granddmaaw hoo was reelee hEktorr desgissed. he wuntedd to maree her but her hart beelonggd to erk
hektorr wus sadd butt he wuntedd serra too bee happi.
so he litt serra go
evreebodee wunted serra. butt her eeval steppmoter deednt wunt her to marre the prinse so she loked her een a toeerr
erk cam and shee lit don her hare wich was veree long and pinc and prette
he climted ohp then sad hee loved her and they roedd aeay ento te sonseht
serra leeks her storee it is veree gooodd. yooo beterr lek it too or elss shee well sind her bohfrend Gafer to gett uu helo kaya and autor urr bak
I am so, so very sorry for any problems in the last few paragraphs. I've looked it over, and I've decided that it's too horrible for words. It's a mix of Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White, Cinderella, and Rapunzel all in one (plus a few of Serra's insane ideas). Of course, Serra is too stupid to distinguish between the fairy tales. Anyhoo, the sugar high has worn off, my brother is okay despite the chicken and the purple flagged kinkko, and the REAL story is about to begin.
Oh, I forgot. Although it will burn your eyes out (perhaps it already has), you may read the words by Serra and you may gasp in sympathy to her very small brain activity. Er... Why am I talking like Ann?
Anyhoo, if you can figure out what the heck Serra's saying, please tell me in your review (I suggest you get a pen and pencil, and if you have a preschooler or baby who just might speak the same language as Serra, USE HER OR HIM). The winner gets...
Er... I'm not really sure. But I guess you get to decide the theme of the next story (if it's a spin-off of something, I might know it, and I might not). If people tie, then... They both get to decide. I dunno. Anyway, on to the story! Mwa ha ha!!
The What's-Their-Name-Again?-People's Ways
12
Serra was evilly plotting, Elimine was up in the heavens crying her eyes out, Erk was secretly attempting to kill Serra again, and Eliwood was fighting the horridly vicious and evil-
"Excuse me!" Piped up a polite British voice. The said voice adjusted his monocle, and smoothed his purple robes.
As you've probably guessed, it was Canas. "What is it, Canas?" Kiaya asked with a sigh, seriously considering swatting the poor little shaman away.
"Ahem. Yes. So sorry to bother you, Miss Author, while you are story-telling so beautifully." He adjusted his monocle again. "But... The group and I have decided that-"
A girl with brown hair and green eyes appeared in front of him immediately. "The group?" She demanded, poking a rude finger in his face. "Don't you need a license to do that?"
Canas blinked. "Er..."
A rude voice growled behind him, "Karel wants to talk! Let Karel talk! Canas does not get his point across good!"
"Good chap, I'm certainly more educated than you and therefore-" A sword at his neck, and he gulped.
"Karel thinks that you are not talking about Karel enough."
Kiaya crossed her arms. "Uh huh. And your point is? Who's the author here, huh?"
Karel squinted.
"Who's the one with a sword here?" Another new voice said. His scowl looked very evil.
"Quite a good point, old chap," Canas agreed.
"I have a bow!" Another voice chirped.
"Me too!"
"I'm going to sue you," one very evil (and money taking) voice plotted.
"By order of fairness, we demand that you include us more in the story," Fiora explained helpfully.
"We have a paper for you to sign," Marcus explained. "Making this proper."
"So sign here on the dotted line," Lowen said, pointing at Marcus' purple hair (and missing the paper completely).
Kiaya gave them all a menacing glare. "...I'll have you know she could write you all dead right now."
"Karel bows down to none!" (Do you really need to ask who said that?)
"Bartre got shiny axe," Bartre announced, completely off the subject. His drool covered axe had no sign of blood (no, Bartre did not clean it, sillies. "BARTRE NO CLEAN, BARTRE'S HANDS BURN WITH BUBBLY STUFF!!"), seeing as how he couldn't hit somebody if his life depended on it.
"Let's be friends!" Rebecca chirped (she'd spoken before, unnamed. But do you really need to know which voice she was?). "Turn that frown upside down!"
Kiaya's eye twitched. "Elimine. What's wrong with all of you? You're obviously not good enough to be put in the main storyline a bunch..."
Raven glared. "We are SO good enough!"
Kiaya snorted. "Yeah, if my story was boring."
"Why you little!!!"
Kiaya disappeared in a flash.
Raven let out a growl. "We'll show them! We'll show them that we SOOO deserve to be in their stinking story!"
"If it's bad," Rebecca asked innocently, "Then why do we want to be in it?"
"Because-" Raven sputtered. His face colored as he scowled. "WE JUST DO, OKAY?!"
"But you don't really belong to this club," Wil pointed out cheerfully with a smile. "You've been in the story lots of times."
Raven glared. "...You're all idiots."
"But Wil has a point, my good man," Canas pointed out.
"Are you gonna believe the idiot who doesn't stop smiling, or me?" Canas thought for a few moments. He was about to come up with an amazing discovery that would bring electronics to the world of Fire Emblem when
"OOooohh!!" Rebecca squealed. "F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and m-"
A dagger was at her throat. It quite easily conveyed, "That's MY song."
Rebecca just grinned. "So what's our plan to get the author to add us to the story more?"
Raven thumped a hand in his fist, grinning an evilly evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil grin. "She won't have a choice, if we're the only people left..."
"Old chap, you're suggesting murder?" Canas asked, appalled. "Get you gone, you old dog!"
"'Tis not my ferret," Marcus added dimly.
Raven looked puzzled, then shook the words away. "They'll never know what hit them! See, what we're going to do is..."
Everybody leaned in.
Here's the part where the author cuts off the story just as you get interested. Don't cha hate it when that happens? Therefore, I'm gonna break the mold! So THERE!!
"We're gonna create a LOVE TRIANGLE?" Farina asked in scorn. "How is that going to kill ANYBODY? I want my money NOWWWWW!!"
"It's not proper," Fiora added, aghast.
"I just can't see the point of it," Lowen added sorrowfully (Admit it, Lowen, you can't SEE the point of anything).
"It's an absolutely horrid plan," Rebecca giggled joyfully.
"Karel says we just kill them all with shiny weapons."
"SHINNNYYYY!!" Bartre bellowed like a cow.
"What is the issue that you are discussing?" A voice asked, blinking innocently.
The group whirled round to see Ann.
"Well, we, er, we..." Raven, as usual, when he lost his words, started talking with his sword (Ann backed away several inches).
"Violence is not the answer!" Rebecca chirped from behind him.
Ann rolled her eyes. "You can't possibly be attempting to form a love triangle with YOUR group. It's absolutely insane. Not to mention that fact that I doubt anybody will go along with it."
Raven let out a war whoop, only to be tackled down by Karel.
"Karel wants you to talk more."
Bartre drooled. "Smart girl make plan to kill?"
"No, smart girl make plan to destroy the love lives of everybody in the camp."
"Really?" Canas asked in fascination. "You can do that?"
"Of course I can," Ann scoffed. "What do you think I DO all day? Certainly not battle plans. Those are short and easy, compared to the complexity of love triangles."
"I still don't see how everybody would die," Lowen said stubbornly.
"Haven't you seen the point of depressing stories about love triangles and squares and hexagons and all that other quintessence? Everybody is depressed. They just want to DIE."
"But, old chap, this isn't a depressing love story. We're in a comedy!! And as far as I know, there's been no romance yet." Do you really need to know who said that?
Ann shook her head. She did not want to attempt to convey her plan to them all, or at least in full. Their small brains could barely wrap around the idea that there were such things as love triangles. "We'll start with Hector. Then we'll move on to Lord Eliwood, then Lady Lyndis." He whirled around to Farina. "You! You have to be as romantically sappy as possible towards Hector."
"Do I get money for this?"
Farina got a familiar glint in her eye. "Then what are we waiting for? That dope should be easy!"
"Hector!" Eliwood wailed. "Fiora wants to talk to me! Inprivate! So we can talk about "US"! And Marcus is making me go!"
Hector raised an eyebrow, then turned to Matthew.
Silence.
"...Nope, not Serra."
He crashed a fist in his hand. "Well, Eliwood, maybe if you get a woman, you'll be more manly so you can protect her from harm!"
Eliwood's eyes filled with tears. "But I don't LIKE Fiora!"
Hector didn't hear. "CRYING IS FOR WOMEN!!" He blasted in Eliwood's face.
Eliwood let out one last indignant sniffle. "But I-"
He was interrupted by a loud voice from the door.
"Crying is not for wo- Ow! That hurt! Why, you little I oughta-" Farina turned away from who she was glaring at (cough, ANN, cough!) and smiled sweetly at Hector (like a shark looking at its meal).
"Helloooo, Hector."
Hector knew there was something weird about her tone of voice. He observed her for several seconds, trying to put his finger on it.
She sauntered over to him, batting her eyelashes (Hector blinked and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't going blind or seeing spots).
"Aren't you looking handsome today?"
He checked for earwax in his ear. "Sorry, master- I mean, Farina- I don't think I heard that last sentence right. Can you repeat it?"
She was now in front of him, looking sweetly up at him. She puckered up her lips. "I DO love you, you know."
Hector got the look of someone who had just witnessed a person being beheaded. "You WHAT- You..." He broke off.
He banged his head against the tent wall (which immediately swayed and caused him to land on his butt, not a very lordly thing to do).
He turned back to Farina. "Okay, Hector, don't hyperventilate... It's just a dream... A really WEIRD, TWISTED DREAM, and soon I'll wake up and Farina will be back to whipping me, thank Elimine..."
Farina jutted out her bottom lip. "Hector-poo? Are you okay? Should I kiss your boo-boo to make it feel better? I'll heal you with love!"
Hector tried to back away.
Okay, so the 'dream' was more like a nightmare.
A/N: Joy to the world... Hector's going insane! Anyway, yep! Talky time!
Nightwing of the Azure Shadow- Thank you, thank you!!! Yep, yep! Thanks so much for reading!
Cheea5- Sakura Con? And you're being Wil for Halloween? Coolio! Thank you! Good luck with the costume and I hope you get lotsa candy!
Immortal Wifey- Hmm... It couldn't be that Erk actually may have feelings for her, could it (Erk glares from background, twirling knife and seriously considering targeting another person)? Anyway, poor kids? Well, thanks for your review! I hope you liked it!
Dark Blaziken- Glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing and thank you! It's okay if you can't talk much. Some people write long ones, some people write short ones (I write short ones too). Thanks for reading!!!
Tri 17- Yes, I do feel sorry for Erk... Perhaps he needs a hug... FROM SERRA!! MWA HA HA!!! Okay, so, maybe I don't feel too sorry for him. Yes, I'm evil. Anyhoo, thank you!!!
Wery Jack- YAY NEW REVIEWER!!! Welcome to the gang... And now you'll NEVER GET OUT (or face the evils of Serra)!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!! Okay, now you're probably scared. Well, thank you so much!!
sagewolf- As you can see, I've done a lot of what you suggested (great ideas!)! Who's Elliot? Anyway, I do LOVE Canas, I just kinda forgot about him (hence the chapter about all the 'poor unfortunate souls' who were forgotten). He rocks at fighting. And he is so COOL!! Yes, I like pansy Eliwood... I think a chibi him crying at a spider would be adorable. Yes, well, it was kinda the other way around with Serra and Elimine. Elimine was good until the dreadful day that Serra was born... MWA HA HA!! Thanks for all your kind words and help!
I just want to say to everybody that I really am happy about your support and your kindness and everything!! You make my day, and you rock!!