When Nicholas had told him to imagine the tables turned, Soda hadn't hesitated for one more moment. He told Nicholas what he was worried about, realizing it may indeed be necessary.

Soda opened the toolbox and pulled out the wrench and sockets he was going to need. He closed it, before going to see where he had left the ratchet. He found it over by the set of paperwork he had finished earlier, then went back to the Toyota Steve had tested the evening before, saying it had a bad alternator.

Soda had told Nicholas about the conversation he had with Steve on their spur of the moment drive and about how the way his best friend sounded reminded him of a time not long ago. The pain in Steve's voice, as well as his words, revealed the shame and guilt he was feeling that wasn't just about Evie at all. Soda didn't blame him for feeling bad or for expressing it. Steve needed that. What had his attention now though was the connection between those clearly overwhelming emotions and what Nicholas had pointed out about Steve's demeanor since that day.

Soda popped open the hood of the Toyota and searched for the area where the alternator should be located. Finding it easily, he checked the belt, before beginning to disconnect the cables. As he worked, Soda remembered how Steve was when he had just begun to really talk through the abuse he suffered, and the conversation in the car was reminiscent of that time. Of course, the fact that Steve's first reaction hadn't been to try to hide made a big difference. That meant a lot, and Soda was glad for it. Yet, it bothered him that Steve had expressed these feelings, then subsequently gone back to being too calm on the surface. He didn't want him trying not to feel those emotions or burying them underneath an exterior that made him seem numb to the pain he obviously felt.

Soda hadn't been able to answer Steve's questions about God any more than Nicholas had. He also felt that no answer could've been sufficient in those moments, knowing how his friend was struggling with hurt no one should have to experience. It made sense to wonder why, to question God's knowledge and reasoning. Yet, maybe there just were no answers.

Even so, as Soda continued working on the Toyota, a ratchet in his hand to unscrew the bolts, he found himself saying a prayer for his best friend. He prayed for Steve to have comfort and help and for himself to have the right words to say the next time his friend talked to him about anything. He hoped God heard him and that he was really listening. Even if he didn't always intervene and stop terrible things from happening, Soda figured God knew more than he could ever know.

Steve and Evie sat side by side on the hood of Steve's car, as the stars twinkled and the moon cast its glow from the night sky.

Evie looked over at Steve, a smile on her face. "What are you thinking about?"

Steve shrugged. "Nothing."

"I'm glad we came." Evie took Steve's hand in hers, squeezing it. "It's almost a full moon tonight."

"Yeah." Steve squeezed Evie's hand.

"I read once that you can't see as many stars during a full moon because it's so bright."

"Oh." Steve turned his eyes from the sky to Evie. "I'm sorry. I'm still having a real hard time. It's not that I don't want to be here with you. It's just... Things feel different, and I'm not sure what to do with that."

"Things? Do you mean us?"

"Yeah."

"I wish I knew what to do about it." Evie gave Steve's hand one more squeeze, before letting go. "I love you, sweetie. Please know that."

Steve rubbed his head. "Evie, I'm not feeling too good. I think we should go."

"But we haven't been here long. Are you getting sick?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

Evie reached over and rubbed circles on Steve's back. "Okay. Let's go then."

Steve slid off the hood of the car, pulling his keys from his pocket, as he opened the door.

"Is there anything we still need to talk about?" Evie asked, as she slid in next to him.

Steve looked through the windshield at the nearly full moon. "I don't think so."

Evie spoke, as Steve turned the key, starting the car. "Just checking. I really want us to be okay. Even more than that, I want you to be okay."

Steve shifted the car into gear. "Me too."

Suzie was staring at the drive-in movie screen and had just taken a sip of her drink when she felt Soda's arm go around her. "I like going out with you," she said. "You're so sweet, Sodapop."

"I like going out with you too." Soda said, as he let his arm slide from her shoulders to her waist, and she leaned in to kiss him on the lips.

Soda kissed Suzie back, and she put her arms around his neck, as he used his other arm to draw her closer. Their lips stayed locked, as Soda moved one hand down to her hip. He slid his tongue into her mouth, as she closed her eyes, leaning more into the kiss.

Suzie moved her hand from Soda's neck up to his head, letting her fingers tangle in his hair. She kissed him a few more moments, before she pulled away, her head falling onto his chest.

Soda ran his fingers through Suzie's hair. "There's more where that came from," he murmured, sliding his hand up her shirt.

Suzie giggled, as she sat up. "I bet there is." She touched Soda's thigh, then brought it up to rest on the waist of his jeans. "But I want to finish the movie."

Soda grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. "That's sure not what I came for."

"But it's all you're getting." Suzie winked at him. "For the moment anyway."

"All right, all right. We'll watch the movie. But if I didn't have to get Darry's truck back to him, we'd be getting a room for the night." Soda winked at Suzie, then put his arm around her waist.

Suzie smiled and turned to the movie screen. "Hey, you think Evie and Steve would like to go on another double date sometime?"

Soda stared at the screen. "Maybe. I'll ask him."

"We could all go out to dinner or something." Suzie put her head on Soda's shoulder.

"Sure. Sounds nice." Soda kept his arm around Suzie, trying to focus on the movie that was playing. He looked down at her, then tilted her chin up, so his lips were almost touching hers. "I need another kiss. Maybe even more."

Steve stopped his car in front of Evie's house, and she reached for the door handle, about to get out.

"Hang on," Steve said, about to get out himself. "I'll get that and walk you to the door."

"No. You go on home and get some rest." Evie said, as she leaned over and planted a kiss on Steve's cheek, lingering for a moment, cupping his other cheek. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Steve nodded and kissed her cheek. "Okay. I love you, Evie. I really need to make sure you know that."

Evie smiled. "I do know. Bye, sweetie." She got out of the car, closing the door behind her.

Steve watched Evie go up the porch steps and into the house, before driving away.

"My son was abused by someone we both trusted," Nicholas said, sitting in a rocking chair on Samuel's front porch, as he drank the last of the coffee his friend had given him. "And a few nights ago, he asked me why God didn't stop her."

"What did you say?" Samuel asked, from his place in another rocking chair next to Nicholas.

Nicholas shook his head, placing the coffee mug on the small table near him. "I couldn't answer. I kind of tried, but he kept asking so many other questions too, and I didn't know what to say to that anyway. I finally told him I don't know."

"So you were honest. You don't know. I don't know either. What else did he ask?"

"Why God took his mom. Not just why didn't he stop the abuse when it was happening, but where was he when she came into our lives in the first place."

Samuel sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Poor kid. Mine's a totally different situation, but I've asked the same kinds of questions. Even now, I don't have the answers to why I lost Matthew or why it had to happen like that. Maybe I don't want to know."

Nicholas nodded his head. "Yeah, and I don't think Steve really expected an answer. Besides, what explanation could be good enough? I knew even less what to tell him when he asked how he could trust God now."

"Those are all tough questions." Samuel leaned back in his chair, rocking it a little. "I may be a preacher, but I'd be just as speechless. Even when someone asks questions, I think sometimes they just want to get it off their chest. I know I've done that. Any answer probably would've made me more upset."

Nicholas tilted his head, glancing at the night sky, then looking at Samuel. "You know what though? Steve said all that, but he didn't sound like he was blaming God. He told me the next day that he blames her. He blames the person who abused him."

"As he should. God gave us freedom to make our own choices, and a person who chooses to hurt a child on purpose misuses that." Samuel leaned forward, his hands in his lap, as he met Nicholas' gaze. "You know what Jesus said about someone who hurts a child?"

Nicholas rocked the chair, thinking for a moment. "I don't believe I do."

Steve noticed his dad's car wasn't there and wondered where he could be, as he got out of his own car and went inside the house. Searching for a distraction, he turned on the T.V., then pulled a Coke from the refrigerator, popping it open. He sipped the drink, as he sat down on the couch, trying to focus on the T.V. screen.

Steve switched on the lamp, then set the can on the table beside him, before taking a deep breath and lying back against the couch cushions, that feeling of coldness returning and giving him chills. He shivered, realizing he didn't want to be by himself.

Steve sat up and covered his face, hating this feeling, but hating the fact that he was alone with it even more. I have no idea where Dad is, he thought. He's the one who told me it's good to tell someone if I don't want to be alone. Steve knew Soda had gone on a date tonight, but maybe he would be home now. He's the one who said always tell someone if I feel like this, Steve mused.

Steve pulled his car keys from his pocket, where he'd shoved them just minutes before. He couldn't stay home alone with his mind wandering the way it was.

Samuel kept his eyes locked with Nicholas', while he referenced Jesus' words."He said it'd be better for them to have a stone tied around their neck and be thrown into the depths of the sea."

Nicholas' eyes widened. "Wow. Maybe I shouldn't say this, but I like the image that creates. She deserved exactly that."

"It's metaphorical, of course, but that gives you an idea of how much God hates kids being mistreated. Even if he didn't intervene and stop what happened to your son, I guarantee he hurts for him even more than you still do."

"I believe you, even though that's hard to imagine." Nicholas smiled. "Steve ended up surprising me that same night, and I think what he said to me might help me be able to forgive myself for not stopping it, for not knowing sooner what was happening."

"So his own pain doesn't stop him from helping you."

"Sure doesn't. I wonder if it makes him want to help more. I was praying and asking God why I didn't see it, why I trusted her, and why I let it happen. I didn't know Steve had even heard until he was there beside me."

Samuel raised his eyebrows, smiling at Nicholas. "That sounds familiar."

Nicholas chuckled. "I guess it should. Steve answered the questions too, and I think he's right. It's funny. I send my prayers to God, and he uses people to answer them."

"She seems like a nice girl, Soda. I'm glad you brought her by," Darry said, as he put the clean dishes away.

"Yeah. She's hot too. I think if-" Soda said, interrupted by a knock on the door. "Who knocks around here?" He went over and found Steve standing right outside the door, then opened it. "Stevie, why are you knocking?"

Steve turned around and dropped down onto the porch swing, before answering. "I don't know. I just did. I didn't know if you'd be home yet."

Soda grinned, as he stepped outside. "Yeah, I haven't been home long. I took Suzie to the drive-in, but we didn't watch too much of the movie, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah." Steve wrapped his arms around himself. "I got back from being with Evie, and my dad wasn't home. I can't be alone, Soda."

Soda sat down beside Steve. "Did something happen?"

"No. I just- I can't." Steve didn't look at Soda, as he felt his heart begin to beat faster. "You weren't wrong before."

"What does that mean? You said it the other day too. I wasn't wrong about what?"

Steve met Soda's gaze for a moment. "Never mind. I can't tell you."

"I've heard that before. It hasn't been true once."

Steve looked away, feeling Soda's eyes still on him. "I didn't come over here to tell you this."

Soda rested against the arm of the swing. "Whatever is going on, you can tell me, and I know you want to, or you wouldn't keep almost spilling it. Whatever I wasn't wrong about has something to do with why you don't want to be alone, doesn't it?"

Steve gripped the edge of the swing. "I do want to tell you." He dropped his head into his hands. "God, I can't keep doing this. I just want it to stop."

"You want what to stop? Come on, buddy. It's me."

Steve got to his feet, the swing moving as he stood. "I should've just waited for my dad to come home. Maybe he's home now. It's starting to get late."

Soda sat up, watching Steve. "If he is, are you going to tell him what's bothering you?"

Steve shook his head. "No." He took a step forward, before stopping, his back to Soda. "Sodapop?"

"I'm still right here."

"If I tell you" Steve swallowed. "please believe me that I don't want to think like this."

Soda got up, going to stand in front of Steve, who had let his eyes drift to the ground. "Steve, look at me." He waited for a moment, making sure his friend's eyes met his own. "What's going through your head?"

Steve went back to the swing, tense as he sat down on the edge of it. He stared at his feet, his eyes not blinking. "That day I called out of work cause I wanted to be alone, and you were worried because of all those things I said to you, so you and my dad thought I was going to kill myself, remember that?"

Soda nodded, easing himself down next to Steve and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, I remember."

"I think I did mean the things I said that way, but I didn't know it. They just came out. I did feel like that. I did think about..." Steve blinked his eyes, still not looking up.

Soda kept his voice soft, even as an unsteadiness came over him. "You were thinking of killing yourself that day?" He let his hand drop from Steve's shoulder to his arm.

"No." Steve lifted his head and looked at Soda. "I don't mean that. I didn't lie to you guys. I just mean I'd had the thoughts. I didn't realize it until after you said something." He stopped, taking in a breath and slowly letting it out. "Please believe me, Soda. I didn't want to die. I still don't. That was never what I was going to do. I told you the truth."

"Okay." Soda squeezed Steve's arm, feeling the need to hold on to his friend. "I always believed you."

"I remember telling you that dying did cross my mind. It did, and it still does, but it's more than that. It's like these thoughts flash into my mind, and I can't control it."

"That's why you keep saying you can't be alone."

Steve nodded. "Yeah. It scares me because I get afraid I might... I don't want to do it. But I get afraid I'll do something anyway. Because the thoughts get so strong sometimes."

Soda blinked back tears, not wanting them to fall right now. "Why didn't you tell anyone before?"

"I didn't want anyone to think I was going to do it. You and my dad were so freaked out when you thought that's what I was going to do." Steve bowed his head, staring at his feet once more.

"What about Laura? That's what she's there for, right?"

"She asked once if I ever had thoughts about killing myself. But I couldn't do it when I was talking about so many other things for the first time. So I just told her no, that I'd never do anything like that." Steve eyes began to fill with tears. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Soda squeezed Steve's arm once more, as he closed his eyes, a silent prayer going up for the words to say.

"I almost did tell Laura this week, but it's like part of me was still afraid of what she might say. I really don't want to hurt myself." Steve leaned his head against the chain on the swing, a tear sliding down his cheek.

Soda released Steve's arm and leaned forward to see his friend's face. "Listen. I believe you. But you need to talk to her and to your dad too."

Steve didn't meet Soda's eyes, only stared straight head, his voice shaking. "I don't want to die. I just want the thoughts to stop. I don't want to feel like this."

"I really do believe you." Soda's voice trembled. "But you did just say you were afraid you'd do it anyway." He put his hand on Steve's back, gripping his shirt. "We both know it only takes a second to make a decision you can't take back."

Steve lifted his head and looked toward Soda. "Yeah. I guess we do."

"You don't have to fight anything alone. Please don't try. Promise me you'll talk to them. Tell them what you told me."

"I promise."

"Come here. You know I have to hug you." Soda pulled Steve close, his arms tight around him. "No matter what goes through your head, I'm still here, okay?"

Steve closed his eyes, more tears falling down his cheeks, as he returned the embrace. "Okay."

Soda didn't hold back his own tears this time. "I'm sorry you've been feeling like this. You're my best friend, and I love you, buddy. I don't want anything to happen. Please talk to your dad and to Laura. You know I'll do it myself if you don't."