Hi guys,

Sorry for my absence and as always, your kind reviews and messages have prompted me to add another chapter. Glad to see so many stories that are based around Jax and Tara, it's a great compliment to Charlie and Maggie's talent in bringing their love to life.

A little warning, there is a bit to bad language in this chapter, apologies if it offends xxx

Tell her she's always right….

The papers were signed. Tara had got what she had set out to get and yet she couldn't help the feeling of betrayal engulf her.

She watched as he exhaled, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and she could only imagine what he was thinking. Did he feel as fucked up as she did right now? She felt the guilt start to eat away at her, the little voice in the back of her head whispering "You betrayed him. You lied to him. He'll hate you forever"

She closed her eyelids to try to stop her stinging eyes from spilling her tears. Yes she had lied, she had done the worst thing a wife could do, but she had done it for the safety of her boys.

Jax brought his hand up to his head, trying to ease the niggling ache that rested in his temple.

"Is that it?" his tired eyes looked across at Lowen who slowly nodded and stepped towards him.

"Yes. I'll file these first thing in the morning. It will take a day or two for it to be processed" and she reached across and took the manila folder from the table and carefully placed it in her briefcase. "I'll be in touch in the next few days"

Jax nodded, not really processing her words. With a final look and a sympathetic smile at Tara, Lowen made her way out of the hospital room, carrying his consent to give custody of his kids to Wendy should anything happen to him or Tara. Not that it would. After today's events Jax had made a solemn vow that nothing would ever come between him and his family again.

He stared at the door for a few moments and just wished the world would go away, leave them alone for a while. He desperately wished he could rewind the clock, figure how to do things different, better, before the miscarriage, before Collette.

Collette. He closed his eyes as he felt his chest tighten. He had betrayed his wife in the worst way a husband could. Was it three times he had now cheated? He hated the fact that he could even count the conquests. And here was the love of his life lying in a hospital bed having just miscarried their daughter. What a fucking asshole he'd been.

He involuntarily shook his head as he felt the salty tears prick his eyes. He gripped the rail at the end of the bed and slowly breathed out, exhaling some of the tension inside him "I'm so sorry babe. Everything has been a whirlwind these past few weeks and I didn't stop to think about the effect it was having on you or the boys or the-"

He stopped himself before he could say the word. Baby.

The ghost of their daughter seemed to haunt the space between them. He swallowed as he glanced across at Tara, seeing her eyes swim in salty tears too. She was completely broken, not the strong willed woman he had known all these years, and the worst thing was that he had no idea how to fix her.

He stood at the end of her bed, his hands continuing to grip the bedrail as if to steady himself.

"You were right babe. I asked you to let Gemma back into the fold, to be around our boys, around you, if she would help to club. I knew you weren't ok with it and yet I still pushed it. And now….now she's done this to our family. You were right and…..and I'm so sorry"

His voice broke as he pictured his blonde haired blued eyed daughter. He had swore that he would never have a daughter, he and Tara had always joked that Jax would need some kind of therapy if they had a little girl. Over protective would not be the word. Boys he could handle. He knew how boys were wired, the shit they could get up to. But a little girl was something different. And yet when he had found out Tara was pregnant again the idea didn't seem so daunting. He liked the idea of being the over protective father, of her looking up at him and worshipping him, of her being daddy's little girl.

His brow furrowed and he stared down at the linoleum floor, tears stinging his eyes. Tara looked across at him and knew he was trying to hold it together, trying to be strong for her, to not grieve for their daughter that had never existed. She wanted to break down, tell him that she had royally fucked up, that in her desperation to keep their family safe she had betrayed him in the worst way possible. But she bit her lip in order to stop her confession from spilling out. She bit it so hard that the metallic taste of blood warmed the tip of her tongue.

You did it for your boys. You did it to protect them.

"I'm so sorry" her breath hitched as the words tumbled out of her mouth "I know you hate me for this"

Jax tore his eyes off the floor and looked over at her, disbelief shrouding his face. He shook his head and walked across to the side of her bed, reaching for her hand.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry Tara. This is not your fault. I'm the one who fucked up. The shit with the club has just turned my head sideways, I was so neck deep in it that I just didn't pay attention. If anyone's to blame it's me"

They stared into each other's eyes, both raw from tears, and in that moment she wanted to hold him and to forget. To forget about today, the club, Charming. Had their ever been a time when their relationship hadn't been tainted by Samcro? She wanted to feel like she did when they were sixteen and wrapped up in each other, too obsessed with one another to notice anything else, even the club.

He brought her hand up to his lips and closed his eyes as he kissed her. A single tear fell down his cheek.

Why did it feel so wrong in doing something that she believed was right?