Author's Note: And so this is the end! Hope you enjoy~
Your head is killing you. You're so tired, practically catatonic with exhaustion. You should sleep, but you sleep so much that you can't. Not that sleeping itself helps you much.
You don't want to eat, go outside, and trying to watch television or movies just leaves you feeling hollow. Everything that used to entertain you just makes you feel bitter now.
You spend every waking moment trying to sort out all of your conflicted emotions.
You spend every night writhing in terror as you dream that ghouls are feeding parts of yourself to you, pulling off fingers and limbs and stuffing them down your throat until you choke. You dream that the ghoul who wanted you pulled you out of the bag and ate you right there. You dream that you're still in that prison, and whenever you cry out for help the walls close in, crushing you into nothing.
Most of all, you spend every moment missing Naki, and desperately wondering what happened to him. Was he safe? Had he been there during the raid? How Aogiri found out about their relationship and punished him?
Was he still alive?
You missed him so badly. The feeling of his hair beneath your fingers, the fierce emotions in his eyes, his bright smile….
"I…need to undress. Can you wait outside?" You turn blearily to the CCG officer, who had been assigned to guard you until they could relocate you to a safer location.
He drove you insane, but you knew he was a good man. He was devoted to his job and wanted to make sure nothing happened to you, and he tried his best to be kind even when you snapped at him. You knew he meant well, that he was just doing his job, just trying to protect you, but you felt like you were breaking apart at the seams and the last thing you wanted was this man watching it happen 24/7. You wanted to push him away, to get him as far away from you as possible, but you knew it was impossible, and that just drove you crazier.
He nods, promising you that he'd come back in the moment you were done, and reminding you to call him immediately if anything seemed remotely suspicious. He'd already checked the room earlier, but he gives it another quick once over before he leaves. He gives you a polite nod, hesitating only for a moment before he closes the door behind him.
He wanted to ask, but he never did. You appreciated that.
He understood that you'd gone through a lot, and tried to give you as much space as he could while still guarding you. Still…he was a stranger, and after everything, you just wanted to be with your friends and family. People who knew you, who knew what to say to make you feel better, people who didn't look scared and uncomfortable whenever you started to cry.
Then again, Naki had been a stranger when he started out as your guard.
But Naki…Naki had been different.
You swallow thickly, rubbing your eyes to get rid of the tears gathering.
You were also tired of crying. So, so tired. Yet it seems that you couldn't stop sometimes.
You had been so relieved to be saved, to finally go home and see everyone you loved. You'd thought your nightmares were over.
But nothing was the same. You'd looked forward to returning and everything going back to normal, everything being just the way it was before the accident, but it hadn't. You hadn't. You weren't the same person as before…
And you were terrified you never would be.
Sometimes, you wondered if you'd left a part of yourself back in that prison. If there was a piece missing from you now, and you were just…just a broken human being being now.
But no. You didn't think that was it.
No…it was more like you'd brought back a part of that prison with you.
Still broken, but not incomplete.
You stand up, walking towards the window of your bedroom. The CCG officer had warned you not to get too close to them, so you stayed a good foot away. You weren't even sure what you were looking at, honestly. You could only see the walls of the apartment building across from you. It was a deep brown and clean, but it was still a wall. You'd been staring at those for so long, that staring at it now felt strangely familiar.
It helped ease the desperate longing ache in your heart, if only a little.
You missed him. So, so much. All you wanted was to see him again, yet the thought of going anywhere near his home, where Aogiri Tree was located, actually paralysed your body with terror. Not to mention that you had no idea where it was, and even if you did you'd be killed the moment you set foot in there.
You loved him. You needed to see him again. You couldn't, not of your own accord.
"So Naki…what happens now?" You whisper softly, gently running your hand over the glass. "What—What do I do now?"
There's no answer. You put your head in your hands, giving a long, low sigh. Your body trembles, and it takes all you have not to sink to the floor.
You hear something…odd, just outside on the balcony, to your right. You jump back suddenly, your head whipping up as you look towards it. The window of the door leading out to the balcony is just out of view, and you slowly walk to the side, your heart beating wildly and your mouth slightly open as you prepare to yell for the CCG officer.
Slowly you walk forward, and begin to see more of the balcony. When it all finally comes into view, you feel your eyes open wide.
Tears gather at the corners of them, before trickling down your face.
"And so, he gave her a…a…" Naki's brow furrows in concentration and frustration, and he turns the book on it's side, as if that will make the word clearer. "What the hell is that?!"
You lean over, looking at the words on the page.
"A bouquet of roses. He gave her a bouquet of roses." You explain.
"Boo…kay…boo…kate…oh!" He beams, his eyes opening wide. "It's a fancy way of saying 'bucket'! He gave her a bucket of roe-says!
You open your mouth to disagree, when you realise it's probably close enough.
"'Roses'." You say instead, pointing to a picture of the flower in the book. "It's a flower that men like to give to women, as a gift."
"Why?" Naki asks, looking at the flower skeptically. "It doesn't look so great."
"It's a symbol of romance. Ah…you know, love." You explain, your face flushing slightly.
"So you give it to people you love?" He asks, his eyes widening in interest.
"Um…yeah, I guess so." You reply. It was a bit more complex than that, but considering Naki had only just learned to say the flower's name properly, you thought that was enough explanation on its use.
Naki nods, his expression turning serious as he looks back at the book. Then, his gaze turns curious, and he looks at you with raised brows, his eyes wide.
"Did you ever get roses?" He asks.
You blink in surprise before sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck, cheeks flushing slightly.
"No…but I'm glad." You shrug. "I never really liked roses…they're pretty, but when I was a kid I cut myself on their thorns. They're really sharp." You sigh, pointing to the thorns also pictured.
Naki tilts his head slightly, his eyes brightening as he looks at you.
"What kind of flowers do you like then?" He asks. Your eyes open wide in surprise, and you press a hand to your lips as you think. Naki simply watches you intently. After a few moments, you slowly begin to speak up.
"…When I was young, I saw these sunflowers…They were a really bright red, with white around the edges." You smile happily, the memory becoming clearer in your mind. The nostalgia makes a pleasant feeling bloom in your chest, and for a moment you allow yourself to be lost in the pleasantness of the memory. "I like a flower like that. Bright…something that makes me happy."
You turn to Naki, and then you can't help but laugh.
"Like you, Naki!" You smile. Naki's face flushes, and you feel yours do the same.
"I'm not a sunflower!" He says, high voice raising at least an entire octave.
You laugh, leaning against him gently.
"No, sunflowers are like you!" You tease him playfully. "They…"
"They remind me of you."
On the balcony is a large silver bucket, filled with several large sunflowers. They're all sorts of different mixes of red and white.
Next to the bucket, you can see the blanket he gave you. Halfway under that blanket, you can see the letters you wrote…but none were as crumpled as the one you'd balled up to leave for Naki. Meaning…
He'd kept it.
But no, there was one page you didn't recognise. You can just see your name written messily on the top, a handwriting you recognise well. Slowly, you pull it out, and read it.
It's simple. Short. It says everything it needs to, in only a few sentences.
I'm really glad I met you too.
I'll remember you forever.
Be alive.
Naki
On the bottom is a picture, a drawing, of all of you. Gagi and Guge stand in the background, with smiles drawn on their masks. Naki stands in front of them, holding a large sunflower. On the other side of the page is you, surrounded by people, and smiling happily.
You're holding a sunflower too.
Two separate worlds, but one thing still connects you. A joy, a brightness in a dark world that you two had brought to each other.
You push the page away before it can be stained with your tears, which are now rolling down your face without cease.
You sink to your knees, your palm on the ground as your body is wracked with sobs. You hear the CCG officer calling from outside, but you ignore it.
"Naki…Naki!" You cry out, your voice nearly cracking. You feel like you're being pulled apart, and put back together at the same time. As if, despite the pain, you were slowly healing.
You now knew what part of the prison you had brought back with you. The memories, good and bad, that you would never forget.
The ones you would treasure forever.
The man who would always hold a piece of your heart.
The man you would always love.
"Naki…
Thank you."