Notice the title change? Yes, this is still Regrets of a Self Insert...

Yes, I'm back! On the end of Spring Break with another update! I'm going to try my best to get at least one, maybe two, chapters by the end of the week! I'm working towards getting some longer chapters soon, but please work with this almost 3,000 words segment! Also, anyone see the RAW of the Tethe'alla arc section of the anime? It's looking cool except there's no subtitles! Anyway...

ShadowVDP: Heart Gold is amazing! Unfortunately, I haven't gotten very far... I'm stuck at Jasmine's Gym right now...

Whatsername427: The Hard Path.... Hahaha! I kinda figured it be funny to go through the hard path, in a evil sense of humor... And yes, some MIGHT notice if you snuck a few Rheairds, but not a few Rare Candies. ^_^ Heart Gold... I am frustrated with it. Must get some levels in!!!

Here's the chapter and Happy April Fools!!!

~Fukachi no Rin

Disclaimer: FnR does not own Tales of Symphonia. She does own the few jokes she inserts into these disclaimers though....

"Can I please skip breakfast?"

"If you do not eat, you will not have the strength to carry yourself through the remainder of the day."

"Look at it. It's gross."

"Its physical appeal is irrelevant to its true taste."

"Then why don't you try it?"

Kratos made the whole "I'm-seriously-thinking-about-killing-you-for-being-an-annoying-brat" face. His victim, a certain dual swordsman in red didn't flinch at this expression, staring defiantly at the older man. "Lloyd, if you do not eat your breakfast-" Kratos' voice rumbled dangerously. My tin fork was wobbling in my hands when he spoke, and I dropped it before it flung out of my hands and stabbed the person sitting across from me (Genis.)

"A deal's a deal." Lloyd crossed his arms, turning his nose away. I looked at Kratos expectantly, waiting for his reaction.

He's not going to take the deal. He'd rather let Lloyd starve and then gloat after Lloyd admits he screwed up. Just wait, Kratos is going to walk-

Kratos slammed his fist against the table, er, rock, causing it to practically SINK a few inches into the soggy grass. Eyes snapping, the mercenary death-glared across the makeshift table, looking angry enough to kill. Lloyd stood up, taken aback at the sudden reaction, hands waving innocently in front of him.

And then Kratos did something I never thought he'd do. Grabbing both Lloyd's plate and a spare fork, he stabbed the utensil into the amorphous glob of burnt porridge, and shoved it in his mouth. He chewed, surprisingly not flinching once, and swallowed the food, unaffected.

"A deal's a deal, then," Kratos responded, pushing the plate in front of Lloyd. Lloyd's fear had been erased, replaced by shock. He looked like Kratos had just told him he enjoys roasting live puppies over a smoldering fire. Kratos next dropped the fork in front of his son, and commanded darkly, "Eat your breakfast, Irving."

Kratos turned away from the makeshift table, pacing quietly away from the group. A shocked Lloyd dropped from his feet, eyes glazed over from the same shock he had received ten seconds prior. Genis' mouth had dropped to the point of hitting the group, looking like he might throw up.

Raine stepped into the clearing from the woods, both her and Colette bearing a second burnt dish. Her eyes flashed to Lloyd, to Genis, to me, and back to the almost full serving dish. "…Has anyone eaten yet?"

"Your arm is finished healing," Raine announced later that morning as she removed the splint. I let out a single sigh of relief, glad to finally be freed of the cast. "Try your best to be careful, though. I don't know how your body would react if you received another fracture."

I bent my arm in the air a few times, letting the wind wave against it. "I will, Professor."

Healing magic here never really ceased to amaze me. A fracture on Earth would've taken eight weeks tops to mend by itself. Here with screwed up magic, my arm had been totally healed in almost… one, two weeks? I had lost count of the days since I came to Sylvarant, truthfully.

Lloyd's eyebrows had furrowed, and he looked like he was thinking extremely hard. He was staring at me, like I had grown a fifth head or something. "Something up?" I asked almost casually.

"What?" Lloyd looked at the sky immediately, and I sighed.

"What's wrong?" I elaborated.

"Oh, well…" Lloyd looked at me for a second, his thinking face coming back into action. "I was looking at your arm, and sorta realized… well, your arm looks a little paler-"

I could feel my eyes widen. "No way!"

Lloyd gave a weak nod, and I brought my arms in front of me. Pushing the forearms next to each other, an audible groan escaped my lips. "A tan line!" I complained, staring at the obvious difference in colors. Tan lines drove me insane. It might have been something to do with a never diagnosed OCD, or it might've been me not liking being two different shades of color. I didn't know! What I did know was that my right arm was noticeably darker than my other arm, and just a bit thinner than the other. "This sucks!" I whined, rubbing my arms against my pant leg.

No one commented on my complaint, for they most had turned around and started walking. Sure guys. Make me feel reeeeeally important here. I slung my bag over my shoulder and started jogging after them.

And we walked. And walked. And walked. Have I made my point? We walked more. Lloyd stopped to piss behind a tree. And then we walked.

"Shouldn't we go a bit faster?" Lloyd asked some time later, stopping in his tracks for the billionth time that day. Who was the genius that put Lloyd as leader? He didn't have a freaking map, and he was leading??

"If we move abruptly, we'll disturb the natural environment, and attract unwanted attention. Reducing our speed also reduces the enemy encounter rate."

"But then we walk longer!" Lloyd countered.

"He's got a point," I added. Upon receiving a Kratos-death-glare, and I raised my hands in defense. "Alright, lets speak about this logically. If we were to continue at this speed, about how many enemies would we run into total before we reach Hima?"

"….At least thirty."

I nodded. "What if we walked at the speed we usually do?"

"…Between twenty-one and twenty-seven."

I snapped. "You see! We should-"

"If we were to travel at the speed we have for the majority of this trip, we would leave the entire party fatigued during the battles. It would be prudent to conserve energy, for the events in which we do run into enemies. Besides-" Kratos paused, and I noticed his hand rest on his sword's hilt. "The extra battles will offer more experience. It will be needed, seeing as how training has been postponed."

"Some training. In that sense, we'll be prepared for the enemy," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. "Aren't you the one that is always about preparing for the unexpected, enemy shall have no mercy-"

Crap, everything after that happened so fast, I didn't see any of it. All I really could do was draw a theory from the result. Kratos' sword was pointing at the floor, I was on the ground, Lloyd's hand was gripped on the back of my shirt… Judging from the hiss of metal, I was guessing Kratos tried to slice me, and Lloyd pulled me away before I had quite literally "lost my stomach."

"Perhaps I'll have to contribute, then." Pointing his sword at my side, he drew back his blade into his sheath, and proceeded to lead. After the moment's silence, a red-gloved hand was at my face, and I used it to pull myself to my feet.

I started walking with my right hand on the hilt of my sword after that

;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:

I narrowly dodged the projectile shot by the Grasshopper. "Shoot!" I yelled, landing forearms into the dirt. I made a face, rubbing the grains of sand off my reddening arms.

Lloyd's cry filled the air, as he fell back next to me. His swords had stopped in front of the grasshopper, one under its scythe-like arms, and the other stabbed into the ground. The young boy had a thin scratch across his cheek, accompanied by a bruising spot on his forehead. "This isn't good," I whispered to him as he rubbed his bleeding lip.

"Ehh, it could be worst," Lloyd replied, careless tone strained. "I'm going to grab my swords. Can you cover me?"

"No-" Ignoring the beginning of my response, Lloyd stumbled off ahead. "Lloyd!!!"

"Just keep him distracted for me! I'll wrap this up quickly!!!"

I swore that this boy was going to get himself killed – or maybe severely injured. Hands on the hilt of my sword, I let out a breath and prepared carefully.

I stood by Lloyd's flank, in front of the massive grasshopper. What could I say about the grasshopper – it was big, green, and dangerous. On a dangerous scale, I'd say it was a 5.8. Only because Kratos was around.

"Protective Aura!" I yelped, the green sphere of pure mana solidifying around me. The bladed arm halted at immediate contact with my shield, and after struggling against the barrier, it broke through. The mana shattered into large shards, and before the arm met my forehead, I ducked out of the way.

Lloyd dove for his twin swords, shoulders first rolling against the dirt. He picked up his first sword, strewn across the ground, and reached for the second one.

"Lloyd, watch out!"

The Grasshopper dislodged its arm from the dirt, and it was aiming straight for Lloyd's chest. "Demon Fang!" Lloyd yelped, trying to repel the grasshopper. The blade of mana hit directly on the grasshopper's torso, but had no effect on the monster. It continued to swing down its arm, aiming at the red clad swordman.

I shut my eyes for a moment, just before the tip of its arm found itself buried in Lloyd's chest.

Lloyd let out a scream. The noise, tearing from his throat and lungs, was the most terrifying sound I had ever heard. That pain… it was so obvious, so conspicuous…

"Lloyd!!!"

I finally opened my eyes, right as Lloyd's swords clattered to the dirt. He was looking… horrible. In the past few seconds, his eyes had widened, and perspiration had formed over his forehead. His hands were reaching for the bladed arm, until they dropped limply at his side. Lloyd's head began to droop as well, and for a few moments, he looked like he might be feigning in and out of consciousness.

A streak of purple, Kratos, flew its way between the Grasshopper and Lloyd. His sword moved swiftly, as a quick flash, slicing through the Grasshopper's arm. He raised his right hand, now crackling with electricity. "Lightning!"

The energy shot from the tips of his fingers, and the magic ripped through the body of the grasshopper. As the Grasshopper fell, Kratos cast his own Guardian spell to prevent the poison from splattering his frame. He continued to glare at the falling carcass, at the dead bug, and his stare wasn't broken until a certain swordsman hit his arm.

Genis panicked. "Lloyd!"

Kratos was slowly helping the boy to the ground when the said half-elf ran to his best friend's side. "Lloyd, come on! Hang in there, Lloyd!"

Lloyd face had been almost drained of all color, with exception to the faint tinge of green layered under his pale skin. Kratos was studying him, not casting any magic of real sorts. It was hard to tell where the blood was – his jacket was so red…

One half gloved hand was held out expectantly in front of me. "Alexa, your dagger."

My da- oh. "O-okay," I said, carefully reaching for my dagger with my left hand. After unsheathing the dangerous weapon, I handed it, by the hilt, to Kratos.

Kratos took the blade in his hand, and after seizing a firm grip, he turned to teenager breathing heavily in front of him. He began cutting away, piece by piece, at the weapon lodged part way through Lloyd's chest, his face expressionless.

Raine slid to the ground in mere seconds, before she started removing supplies from her bag and reached for the Grasshopper's arm. "Do not remove it," Kratos warned.

Raine's eyes flashed. "If we do not remove this, it will become infected and never heal. I must treat the wound immediately-"

"If you try to heal the wound your artes, being unpredictable as they are, may cause the poison to spread further into his body."

Raine shook her head in disagreement. "Leaving him th-"

"Give him a Panacea Bottle."

I saw from the corner of my eye Colette and Genis exchange a nervous glance. Finally, Colete stood forward. "Um, Mr. Kratos? We ran out of Panacea bottles today…"

For a moment, I saw a glimpse of emotion pass Kratos' face. But it was so brief, so subtle, I almost didn't notice it. It was the faint signs of worry. His eyes had softened, as his eyebrows furrowed. But as soon as it was there, it was gone.

"Can't we just treat him in Hima?" Genis questioned, filling in the blank.

"Hima is at least a day's walk away," Raine mused. "He may not make it." Coughs tore from Lloyd's chest – man, how bad was this poison anyway? I finally looked away from Lloyd, unable to watch his pain anymore. The hesitation in Raine's voice was clear. "Does anyone know how to call Noishe?"

"Noishe?" Genis repeated. "Noishe is usually just… there whenever Lloyd needs him."

"We could try whistling," I suggested lightly, staring at the grass. "I mean, he is a dog, and I read that they have really good hearing…"

Kratos did the half nod thing, and rose a hand to his lips. He pinched his index finger and thumb together, and blew lightly into the space in between them. There was an incredibly high-pitched… noise coming from the purple mercenary, ringing through the forest.

There was one bark, coming from the West. I turned left, freezing before making the full turn. Raine had been staring at me…

Noishe halted in the front of the group. Spotting his injured owner, he bowed his head over Lloyd, sniffing him. "So, we're having Noishe take Lloyd?"

"Yes," Raine replied. "You and Noishe are taking Lloyd to Hima."

I blinked. "Come again?"

Kratos had the glare-of-DOOM aimed straight at Raine right now, looking very close to Judgment-pissed-off. "We can't send Lloyd on his own," Raine elaborated. "Colette is the Chosen, Kratos has to protect the Chosen, Genis would be too busy casting spells to fight off enemies, and I…" Raine's eyes cast themselves to the ground, her expression saddened. "I do not have any substantial methods of offense."

I blinked again. "You can't send me!" I objected. "I'm... I… I can't use a sword! Ask Kratos!" I pointed at the said mercenary, who was taking this opportunity to roll his eyes. "He'll agree that I suck at using a sword!"

"You're stronger than you think," Raine argued. Kratos had resumed to his death-glare, aiming it exactly at the one he didn't trust the most in the group. Lloyd coughed again, his breathing labored. "The poison was strong… You must leave now!"

"Wait-"

Kratos had hoisted Lloyd from the ground onto Noishe's back, leaning him against the animal's neck. "Hurry up," Kratos growled, agitated. Not wanting to piss the man off anymore, I stumbled to Noishe's side. Noishe bent his legs, letting the short person hop on.

Carrying two swords, Kratos walked to the other side of Noishe quietly. He inserted the first sword into Lloyd's right sheath, the blade clicking against the material. He began placing the next sword in its sheath.

"Listen to me carefully," Kratos growled darkly, his voice quiet. Something had nudged against my left leg – I looked down nervously. "You are not to hurt him, to touch one hair on his head. Anything – a small scratch he might have on his arm, a slight bruise on his side - I swear by the Goddess…" The pressure against my leg increased, the side of the dagger pushing deeper into my skin.

"Okay!" I peeped, sweat dropping down my forehead. "I swear on my life I won't hurt Lloyd!"

The dagger was removed, hilt being offered to my hand. "You better keep to that promise, or I will hunt you down until you fulfill the last end."

I took the dagger hesitantly, clicking it back in the sheath. Lloyd made a noise from the front, and Kratos said, "Keep the blade from stabbing deeper into his chest."

"Why not remove the damn thing?"

"It acts as a lid," Kratos explained, raising his voice finally. Shit, he made me jump for a minute. "It is keeping his blood from spilling out. As soon as you remove the blade, however, it will bleed much."

I nodded weakly, the images of blood pouring into my mind. "Remember…" Kratos growled again, and I shivered.

"Hima is Northeast from here," Raine explained, pointing off in one direction. "Keep riding until you reach a mountain, a cliff of sorts. There will be a path leading to a small settlement – find someone there." She shoved hastily into my hands a small pouch. "Here's some Gald…"

"Be wary on your travels. These lands are still thick with enemies, and if you run into one…" I exchanged for at once the first civil look given by Kratos the entire day, and nodded.

Lloyd coughed once more. "Hurry!"

"Noishe, don't stop for anything!" I said. I gave Noishe one nudge in the side, and the protozoan launched itself into the path, towards the thick woods of the Asgardian continent.

What I would give for a Holy Bottle right now…