~ 1 month later, a little over 7 months pregnant ~
Lucy sighed down at her stomach as the little ones kicked again. She leaned back a bit and placed her hand on the small of her back to rub it where it was sore. They had been apartment hunting all day and she had been on her swollen feet for hours. Her back was starting to kill her. Still, she wasn't going to complain. She was trying her best not to let the two combative men know she was in a bit of pain. The day had been, well, a bit rough. Both Natsu and Gray had different ideas of what her new place would be like and on how far apart they should actually live. While Gray wanted to be less than a block at most, Natsu preferred him to be at least three blocks away. He wouldn't give a reason for this, but he was pretty adamant on it. Gray thought two bedrooms would be fine, but Natsu wanted three or four. Once again, he wasn't forthcoming about his reason. Every time it seemed like they had found a good place, someone would find a reason to bash the idea. It was really starting to irritate her. They had been looking at apartments and houses, buying and renting, still unsure of how much they wanted to (and how much they could) actually spend. They were going to their last house of the day, an exasperated realtor leading them, when it felt like a miracle happened.
They were a bit out of town, desperately trying to find a place that didn't cost as much as those in central Magnolia, when she saw it and she knew from that moment that she wanted it. She wanted it bad. It was a beautiful two story house. The outside was painted a faded white and some ivy crawled up the right side of it. There were two big bay windows downstairs boarding the dark brown door. The roof shingles were a deep shade of blue and she was instantly struck by its unique look. A small wooden fence surrounded what she could see of the yard. She smiled, she couldn't believe the place actually had a yard. Plus, it was only about a fifteen minute walk from the guild.
The realtor ushered them inside and they began their exploration, the men oddly silent. When you came in the door there were dark hardwood floors and a very light beige painted on the walls. You walked into a small entry way where you could take off your shoes and jackets before opening a second door. Once through, to the left was a small study with a large built-in-bookshelf. This room had one of the bay windows. There was an ornate wooden desk already in place with a small plaid carpet beneath it. An odd choice, but she was already falling even more in love with it. She could see herself working in there with plenty of space for her books. To the right was the living room where a small fireplace with an adorable carved mantel sat against the far wall. This room had the other bay window which let in a lot of light. A giant brown couch and a coffee table were in the room, making her imagine what it would look like with a few pictures. straight across from the living room was the kitchen and dinning combo. The kitchen was semi-updated and had a nice breakfast bar with stools. The dinning area was adjacent with a nice table that could fit six people. There was a beautiful sliding door that led out to a patio behind it. They took a peak at the back yard and her smile grew even bigger when she saw the space. It wasn't large but it was a good size with a giant tree in the far corner and small bushes and flowers were growing around the fence. The stairs were to the left of the dining room (next to a small half bathroom), in front of the study. They were sturdy and made of dark wood. Up stairs there were three bedrooms. One was a decent size, clearly the master, looking out the front side of the house with two large windows, with a small walk-in closet, while the other two were a tad small. Even though they were small, the closets were long and they had big windows looking out onto the back yard. The only downside was that there was only one bathroom upstairs, but it had two sinks which were separate from everything else. The toilet had its own small room while the shower and bath were right beside it. Lucy could hardly breath. She wanted this house. It was even furnished! There was no furniture in the smaller bedrooms but the master had a large bed and nice dresser. It was just enough to get started. It was perfect for her budding family. When they went downstairs the real talk began, and she was nervous.
"What's the catch?" Gray said, his voice stern.
The realtor smiled nervously and fiddled with her fingers. Gary and Natsu together could be quite intimidating to a trained wizard, let alone an everyday person. "Well, um, the price is a littler higher than what you told me… But, it comes with all the furniture and, um, there is another house for sale two doors down."
Gray sat frozen. It was clear what he was thinking. He wanted to see that other house, now. Natsu's face was a bit more, difficult to read. It almost seemed like he was frozen. The realtor sat, waiting, for him to chirp in like he had every time before but he kept his mouth shut. Soon, they were down looking at the other house. It was smaller, one story, made of dark wood with black shingles. There was an open concept living/dinning/kitchen room to the right while two bedrooms lined the left beside a large bathroom. There was also a yard here, bigger than at the other place, with a fire pit already ready. Gray smiled. It was clear he liked this place, especially because it was so tantalizingly close to the other house. They sat down and had a real talk with the agent. Natsu, oddly, still completely silent. They discussed prices and decided they would put in an offer. They would buy. They would be owners, not renters. Lucy turned nervously to Natsu… The price was a little much for just her alone but they had never truly discussed living together officially. He was splitting her bill payments with Gray and she waited for his silent nod before she enthusiastically agreed to her brand new home. She couldn't believe it. She was a home owner. They were a home owner. It was like a fantasy.
When they got back to her apartment that night Gray rushed off quickly to go tell Juvia the news. They still weren't officially dating yet, but Lucy thought it could be any day now. She could tell, Gray was so close to simply letting himself have what he so desired. He needed to stop punishing himself and just enjoy life and the love Juvia so willingly gave to him. Lucy was lying on the bed, her giant stomach in the air above her. She looked over at Natsu and sighed. She rolled over onto her side, a slight wince due to the pain in her back, and looked at him. She didn't like him being this quiet. It was wrong.
"Natsu?" She said gently. He looked over at her with slightly dazed eyes and made his way to the bed, sitting upright beside her.
"Lucy." Is all he muttered, his voice deep, before he leaned down and snuggled up beside her, face to face, arms around each other, their breath heating up the space between them. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at her, seemingly steadying himself for what he was about to say. "It feels like this all is real." She looked at him puzzled. What in the world did he mean by that? He sighed before continuing, "It just, ugh, really hit me when I saw that house. I knew you'd love it…" She smiled slightly as her fingers twitched against his back, nervous for what he was about to say. "Suddenly, I could see you, the twins, and Gray there. A family." She frowned slightly at the direction the conversation was going. "I couldn't see me." He paused for a moment before continuing. "It became all so much more real, that you will be having that kind of life together and not with me…"
"Natsu, I'm not living with him, I'm not dating him…" She had barely said the words when he abruptly sat up and started pacing in front of the bed before turning to look at her. She sat up too, unable to remain lying down without him beside her.
"That's not what I mean!" His hands balled into small fists before relaxing. She could tell that he was battling within himself, fighting off his own anger, anxiety, and frustration. "How can I explain this to you…" She couldn't help but notice that slight look of pain in his eyes and in the way his muscles tensed, she wanted to look away, but she forced herself to keep agonizing eye contact with him. "As much as I want to be, I am not in that picture. I can't see myself there. Gray has everything I want!" She could tell his frustration was mounting. The fire was burning in his eyes and his fists were constantly clenching and unclenching as he stood there confronting her. "Lucy, let's face it, I am not their Dad." He huffed, she could see a gleam of tears in his eyes and she had to fight back the urge to cry. "He is their Dad and now you will be living right next to each other. You will be a family and I'm just some strangler off on the side." His head bowed down and his gruff voice went soft. She couldn't see his eyes anymore as his pink hair flopped over them. Lucy stood up and walked over to him, grabbing his hands in hers. "Lucy, I…" His voice broke a bit and he lifted up his head, she could see tears dripping down his face and she couldn't help but start to cry too.
"Natsu…"
"No, let me finish Lucy." He breathed in deep, trying to stop his tears, before he continued with shaky breaths. "No matter how much we both wish it, it doesn't change the fact that you were with Gray." His voice cracked a little more. Even though they had been together for a while now, they had never really discussed what had happened that night since she had told him about it. "You two kissed, before we did, you guys did…" He couldn't seem to make himself say the actual word, "it… You guys did it and we love each other and we haven't even… I try not to think about it but with your stomach getting even bigger and with today it was all just so real." He removed a hand from hers and ran it through his hair. He walked back over to the bed, dragging her with him, and sat down. They sat there for a minute before he continued. "Lucy, it hurts."
With that there was silence. She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand and leaned her head against his shoulder. She didn't know what she could do. She didn't know how to help him through this, she still struggled with the reality of it herself. He leaned down so he was laying on the bed and she nuzzled up to his side, her head comfortably placed in the crook of his neck. She leaned so she could gently kiss his neck.
"I love you Natsu." Her voice was soft and loving, trying her best to be comforting.
He didn't respond.
Yes, she loved to pretend that everything was perfectly fine. That they were all just one giant mushed up happy family. But, they weren't. There was going to be a lot of bumps along the road. This, was just one of those bumps. Albeit, one of those bumps that made her heart ache in unspeakable ways. She did this to him. Yea the magic imbued in the room played a part but that doesn't change the fact that it had happened. They laid that way for a while as she worked up the courage to ask him something that she realized she wanted desperately as soon as they had bought the house.
"Natsu?" She felt him turn towards her more, wrapping an arm around her, but he didn't answer. "I have a question."
It was quiet for a minute before she heard him speak. "Yea?" His voice was soft, slightly broken, and she couldn't help but feel at least a little bit happy that he was letting her see him even when he was hurting, that she was letting him be there for him.
"When the new house is available…" The realtor had said it would probably be about two weeks before they could move into the new homes. "Would you like to move in together?"
The room went even more silent and his body went stiff. Not the reaction she had hoped for or expected. After several minutes he sat up, not looking at her. She sat up too, her hands nervously fiddling with the sheets.
"I can't." His voice was firm.
She gulped and tried not to let her emotions show too much. "Why?"
He reached a hand over and grabbed hers, squeezing it lightly, still not looking at her. "Lucy, I just, I can't." His voice was soft in a heart-wrenching way. She nodded and squeezed his hand back. Her happy day had taken an odd, unexpected, and emotional path. She didn't even know what she was feeling right now. She wanted to cry and smile all at once, her hormones were a crazy mess.
It wasn't much longer till Natsu left for the night and she felt completely alone in the world. She laid on her bed, gentle kicks in her stomach reminding her that she would never actually be alone again. Yet, regardless off that, she felt completely alone in that moment. She didn't know why Natsu had acted the way he did today, but she couldn't deny that he had the right to be upset. He hadn't acted out at all. He had been ignoring the truth that was only becoming more and more impossible to ignore as her stomach expanded and the reality of the babies came even closer. She closed her eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.