Room For Rent – Chapter 11 – EPOV
A/N: So here is the EPOV I am sure you have all been waiting for. I started a thread on Twilighted (dot) net. Here is the link (www) (dot) twilighted (dot) ?f=44&t=4127 . Thanks for all of your encouragement and support. I appreciate every review even the hate ones. Enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------November & December--------------------------------------------------------------------
I found myself spending a lot of time with Bella. She and James were going strong and I was getting used to the idea of the two of them together. I won't say that I didn't still have a crush on her but I liked seeing her happy and she was definitely happy. Most nights after school or work we would all end up at the dining room table. I would help Anna with her homework or we would read a book. She was an amazing little girl. She wasn't annoying like Alice at all. Anna is smart for her age. She liked to read a lot and loved learning new things but struggled with math. I can't say that I remember 1st grade but I am pretty sure that the stuff she was learning was more like when I was in 3rd grade. Things must have changed a lot in the past 15 years. Bella helped her a lot but would mostly make her do it herself.
"Edward don't give her the answer; give her a hint on how to solve it herself." Bella scolded me often. I sometimes felt like I was a child along with Anna but it was fun to see her get all flustered and turn pink when we would get on her nerves.
James and I were about the same. His cousin James or Jimmy we liked to call him had finally divorced his wife Victoria and the drama was over. James relaxed a bit more now and was concentrating more on Bella and his relationship. He didn't share the details as much as he did before but I had a feeling that he was getting more serious than she was. Bella also never talked about her relationship with me. She said that was what her girlfriends were for and she thought I would go back and tell James everything she said.
Emmett missed this season for the Ravens but was picked up to train and try out for the next year. He was excited and training back in Washington and very busy. Alice was bouncing around Europe for her internship and my parents were going nuts. They made the mistake of watching the movie Hostel on Emmett's recommendation. I knew that Emmett was trying to get them to not let her go but she was Daddy's little girl and of course got her way. I wish I could have seen her face when dad insisted on her taking a companion so to speak. She had a babysitter. Dad wouldn't let her stay in the hostels or boarding houses like the rest of the interns, she was always put up in the nicest hotels and had her Nanny with her at all times.
From what I heard her Nanny was a retired cop who also had a teenage daughter and best be described as the character Liam Niesen plays in Taken. Alice constantly complained to Rosalie and Bella about him ruining her fun and stopping her from meeting hot guys. I am absolutely sure that that was my father's intention when he hired the guy. Jasper got wind of it all and I could see the smirk on his face. He was scared Alice was going to meet some hot Euro guy with an accent and forget about him. The two of them made no sense to me. They both insisted they were in love with the other yet they had only met a few times and spent the rest on the phone or the computer. Jasper stopped cold turkey with the women and was behaving himself. But that just meant that he was more determined for me to get laid. He tried to set me up a few times but I just brushed it off or politely declined. The girls were hot; don't get me wrong but I had never met them and the fact that they wanted to sleep with me was a bit of a turn off. I mean if I wasn't going to date anyone seriously than I would at least settle for hooking up with a friend but the problem there was that BELLA was my only female friend other than the girls at the diner who I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
The diner was a pool of gossip. The gossip ranged from who slept with who, who hooked up with their customer, who got caught and written up for messing around in the bathroom or the kitchen. YUCK. I cleaned the bathroom trust me there was no way in hell I would fuck anyone in there. They were decent but not worthy of getting busy in. That was the new code word. Sex, fucking, hooking up all was 'Getting Busy'.
Thanksgiving went by in a blur. I flew home in the jet and watched my family paired off while I was alone. Alice, Mom and Rosalie went shopping Black Friday and us guys hung out and watched football and ate leftovers. Emmett was getting serious about Rose and she seemed to have a calming effect on him. I definitely appreciated her presence because Emmett laid off of me and was pre-occupied.
I did visit Tonya and her ever growing belly. She looked ready to pop. I had almost worked up enough courage to talk to her about the things she said when we broke up but chickened out. I wanted to know if what she said was true and if I really sucked in bed or if she was just making it up. My biggest fear was that I would find someone and get into a relationship and we would finally 'Get Busy' and I would suck completely and disappoint her.
We were out at the local diner we used to hang out at in high school and she was looking at me funny.
"What's wrong are you, you know ready?" I immediately thought she was going into labor.
She was freaking huge. Tanya still looked beautiful and my heart still ached a little but when I saw the belly all of my feelings were gone. She was pregnant with another man's kid or two kids. I wanted us to be friends but I wasn't sure how good of friends I wanted us to be. I certainly didn't want to get into screaming matches with her but I didn't want to hang out all the time either.
"Nothing I was just thinking about old times and how happy we used to be; you know before I messed up." She had resorted to calling what she had done 'messing up' like she could just fix it.
"Oh. Have you talked to the father recently or still going to do it on your own?" I asked trying to change the subject. I didn't want to think about old times and how oblivious I used to be.
"I've talked to him but honestly Edward I still think that we have something between us and I want to try and work it out." Was she serious or were these just the crazy prego hormones? I couldn't tell.
"We've been over this and it's over you made that perfectly clear when you were fucking Italiano behind my back." I had a new found confidence with this new pregnant Tanya than I had with the cute little Barbie that broke my heart.
"Edward I miss you. I miss us. I know that if you looked deep in your heart you would see that you still love me and you can forgive me for what I've done. Can't you see us together raising these two kids living happily ever after as a family?" She asked the question like it was the most natural solution. She fucking cheated on me hell no I couldn't picture the perfect little family at least not with her.
"NO. It is over. You and I are over. Even if I thought I could raise those kids with you; after the things you said to me how could I look at you and be with you knowing those things." I couldn't say it out loud but by the look on her face she knew what THINGS I was talking about.
"Edward it wasn't your fault I just needed something new. You were off at school so far away and I was stuck here in Washington with the same old people. For all I knew you were fucking every girl who crossed your path. I was just lonely and I needed someone." She looked so sad but I wasn't going to budge. This is the bitch that broke my heart. No matter how sweet she looked and how motherly and innocent she was still the devil reincarnated just to make my life hell.
"Well I didn't cheat on you. I never even thought about it. All I thought about was school and working hard to make a life for the two of us. I never noticed any other girl or woman the entire time I was away from you. I should have though; because there were plenty. Did you know that? There were girls throwing themselves at me practically begging me to pay any kind of attention to them. I was too in love with you and thought that you loved me back." I could feel the tears burning in my eyes as I recollected myself to continue.
"And now, now I can't even talk to women because I'm so afraid that they are going to hurt me just like you did. I'm terrified of being close to anyone because I'm afraid to disappoint them. I can't even go on a date let alone kiss a woman or even think about sleeping with someone all because I think I won't be enough for them. The things you said were unforgiveable. I could easily forgive what you've done but not what you've said." With the last words I got up from the table and walked away from her for the last time.
I could still hear her calling my name as she waddled after me. I paid the bill at the counter and left a more than generous tip and left Tanya at the diner and closed that chapter in my life. I left the diner feeling invigorated. I felt free and clear. Being friends with her was just not an option.
On my drive back to my parents' house I called Bella to tell her about what I had done and I got the supportive response I was looking for. Bella was proud of me for standing up to the 'Whore' is what Bella called her. Bella's voice was beaming with pride over the phone and just hearing her voice made me miss Baltimore so much. I missed the diner and the crazy old lady that would sip her coffee at the counter, I missed smelling Bella baking bread early in the morning, I missed listening to Jasper's stupid advice about how to bed a woman but most of all I missed Bella's smile.
When I was in a room with her and she smiled it was as if the entire room lit up. Her eyes twinkled and the corners of her mouth turned up and it was just everything I just missed my best friend. I was more than eager to head back to school after Thanksgiving break. I had almost worked up the courage to tell Bella that I liked her in hopes that at least she would tell me she did also but was in love with James but I chickened out again. That was becoming a constant in my life 'chickening out'.
December was a more eventful month than the previous two, for me at least. I finally got laid. It wasn't how I pictured my next time to be but it turned into something better. After Thanksgiving I watched Bella and James make goo goo eyes at one another, listened to Jasper on the phone with Alice smooching, Emmett actually told me he was in love with Rosalie, hell even Jessica the diner tramp had finally found a steady boyfriend in the bus boy Mike Newton and Jake had Leah. I was the only one left by myself once again. I wouldn't begrudge anyone their relationships or flings but I just felt sad.
It wasn't so much the sex that I missed it was more the cuddling and the companionship. Don't get me wrong Bella was great, hell she was more than great she was perfect but she wasn't mine. Her heart was with James. On more than one occasion I had watched him pick her up and carry her upstairs where he would get to do all of the things I longed to do. Bella and I would cuddle and fall asleep together sometimes but it never went farther than that. I would never get to kiss her, caress her breasts or see her cute little ass. I would never hear her moan my name or feel her tongue dart out of her mouth between her lips and into mine. These were all things she was doing with James. I longed for the companionship I had with Bella with someone, anyone who could offer me something more.
I didn't find exactly that but it was the closest I was going to get. You remember the hot Indian chic that invaded my fantasies a few weeks ago, Shamira. Well it turns out that I had been once again misreading the signs. James informed me that Shamira wanted me to escort her to the holiday thing at the hospital. I wasn't too excited about it because well it's me and I was fucking terrified. She was older and more experienced and I had no idea what she was expecting. Was it a non date or a real date? Would she want a kiss and how was I supposed to know if she did or not. There were too many questions and not enough answers.
Bella talked me into it and I found myself drinking a little more than I usually did to try and get my nerves under control. I wasn't driving and James and Bella were both there to make sure I didn't pass out or anything. The evening progressed and I was definitely tanked. I wasn't a sloppy drunk more of a zombie I guess you could say. I was in my head but it was like I was watching a movie in slow motion and had delayed reactions. Anyway near the end of the night I was naked with Shamira on top of me. The entire time this was all happening I was freaking out mentally. My only thought was please don't suck. I was scared that it would be over and she would know I sucked and somehow the entire city would know and once again I would suck. The opposite happened actually and she obviously didn't fake it as she reached her orgasm while riding me. I felt relieved when she collapsed on top of me.
My mind was clouded over the next few minutes as she pulled me over and I was the one on top. I let my body take over and I went with my primal instinct. I fucked her. There was no sex or love making it was just my body fucking. I pounded into her small body while only thinking about my own release. I was vaguely aware of her orgasm coursing through her body as I continued my mindless actions. I had never experienced anything like this before. I had never had sex drunk before, I had never fucked before. It was always sweet and loving with Tanya.
When we were done and back in the limo I was once again my shy and scared self. A million questions swam through my mind as I thought of all of the possibilities that could happen. When I got home I quickly showered wanting to wash away filth that was consuming my mind. I wasn't proud of what I had done and I most certainly wasn't proud of how I treated her afterwards. I pretty much ignored her. I was going to have to see her at work and school. What was she going to say or think?
. Disgusted, disappointed, slutty, cheap, words kept popping in my head and none of them were good. I stripped off all of my clothes and noticed I was missing my suit jacket. CRAP! She had it. She was cold and I gave her my jacket like the gentleman I was raised to be. Yeah, Huh, some gentleman I am. I am falling in love with my best friend while she is dating my mentor and I fuck some woman I hardly know just because I had too much to drink. Doesn't sound like the gentleman my mother raised.
I faintly heard a small voice from Bella's room. I crept downstairs and pressed my ear to her door and I heard a muffled voice. I slowly poked my head in the door and she looked asleep. I tip toed to her bed and sat down next to her. Her hair was sprawled out across her pillow and a few strands were cascading across her face and resting on her nose. I tentatively drew my finger lightly across her face and brushed her soft hair away revealing the sleeping angel. She looked so peaceful and innocent. How could I possible ever be enough for her? She was undamaged and pure. I was broken and used. Bella began to stir slightly in her sleep and I felt like I was intruding so I got up slowly and walked out of her door. I closed it softly and went back to my room. I lay there for what seemed like forever but was in reality only 5 minutes.
"Edward." I heard my name clear as day through the floor boards.
I rushed downstairs and stood at her door. I could hear her breathing steadily just as she had before when she was asleep. I turned to leave when I heard my name again.
"Edward." I slowly creaked open her door and she was asleep.
I stared at her for a moment and she sat up slowly and began to rub her eyes.
"Hey, what's up?" She asked looking absolutely adorable. I decided to take a chance and be the selfish ass I knew I was.
"Hi. Is it alright if I lay with you for a little while?" I asked hoping that she would say yes.
I just wanted to be near her and hold her close. I was so upset with myself and I didn't deserve her friendship I knew she was going to be disappointed in me and probably hate me. I just wanted one last blissful moment with her before she found out what I had done and didn't want to be friends with me anymore. One stupid mistake was going to cost me the best friend I ever had. Out of all of the people in the world Bella and my Mom were the two I wanted to be proud of me. And I had done the one thing that would disappoint them both.
I crawled in the bed when she lifted up the covers to invite me in. I felt like such an ass. I was taking advantage of her kindness. We talked softly about the evening as we lay there together and eventually after her probing and asking me what was wrong. She could read me so well; I couldn't hide anything from her. I told her everything. Her response shocked me a bit and she didn't hate me. I was more than relieved that I still had my best friend.
She didn't judge me or yell at me. She let me hold her and she held me while I cried. I couldn't believe that I actually cried. My father would be ashamed of me right now, seeing me cry like a big baby. I didn't feel ashamed while I was lying there in her arms letting the tears fall. I felt comforted and safe. I somehow knew that everything was going to be ok and turn out in the end. Bella reassured me that she would be there for me and help me through anything. I could hear the disappointment in her voice and I could see the pain in her eyes. It killed me inside to know that something I had done would cause her pain. We fell asleep in each other's arms that night and it was the best sleep I've ever had.
We woke up to an Angry James. I have known James for a while and I have never seen him like that before. It was just a misunderstanding and he eventually calmed down but I could definitely see why he was pissed. I was so consumed by my own problems I hadn't realized that Bella was in bed in just her bra and panties. After that I started my day and decided to man up to my mistake and call Shamira. I did need to get my suit jacket back and of course apologize.
I didn't have to call her, when I got to my room I had a text message from her asking me to meet her for coffee so she could give me my suit jacket. I text her back and we agreed on a time. I got there early and drank at least 3 cups of coffee which probably didn't help my nerves at all. I saw her walk in with my suit jacket in a dry cleaning bag. She looked shy and her cheeks were a dark crimson from her brown skin blushing.
"Hi." I said timidly pulling out her chair for her.
"Hi." She replied taking the seat and handing me my jacket.
"Edward, I want to apologize about last night. I didn't mean to get that drunk and take advantage of you. I know it's not an excuse but I've had a crush on you for a while and I thought drinking would help me work up the courage to tell you but I think I got a little too much courage and took it too far. I hope you can forgive me. I've never done anything like that before and I can't imagine what you must think of me." Shamira rushed out her monologue while trying to look me in the eye.
"I thought I took advantage of you." That was my brilliant response. She laughed and giggled at me then gave me a small smile.
"No, I am pretty sure I initiated things and took them too far. Don't get me wrong it was amazing it was just a little too soon. I mean I have been fantasizing about that moment for a couple weeks now and I'm very disappointed that I can only remember parts of it." She smiled at me and looked into my eyes.
I felt very confused and stumped by these turn of events. It was amazing. I wasn't expecting her to say that at all. She fantasized about me? That I was not expecting either. I was dumbfounded. But strangely enough I got a surge of confidence at this new found information and decided to pull an Emmett line and see if I could rectify the situation.
"Well we could always do it again sober so you could remember it." I offered feeling regret as soon as the words left my mouth. What was I thinking? She was going to think I was a complete douche. But she smiled at me.
"I wouldn't mind that at all." She said brightly giving me a wink.
"Maybe we should start off with a real date you know do things right this time?" I suggested and she accepted.
We decided to go on a date the next night and I left the coffee shop feeling very relieved. It hadn't gone at all like I thought it might. I had a date. I had a date, an actual date. I panicked a little because I hadn't been on a first date since high school with Tanya. Crap what was I getting myself into?
It seems that everything did work out for the best just like Bella said it would. James and Bella were good. Shamira and I went on our date and it wasn't like fireworks but we got along ok. We definitely had physical chemistry but I couldn't see myself ever falling in love with her. I found out that she would be moving back to Europe in March and we only had about 4 months together. She suggested that we just have fun and enjoy each other until then and cut the strings when she left. I was ok with it because well I liked getting laid and I didn't have to worry about either of us getting hurt when we broke up. I got the best of both worlds. I had Bella my best friend and I got laid.
I know some of you are probably freaking out and think I'm turning into a slutty JASPER or even worse my brother EMMETT but I have to tell you that I'm a guy and you will just have to suck it up. I have needs. I could understand if I was some virgin 21 year old but I'm not. I'm a guy who's used to having sex on a regular basis or at least every couple months for a few weeks at a time. Once you have it, it's definitely difficult to go without it. And besides I was getting better at it.
The sex wasn't loving or sensual it was more just sex or fucking there was no love making at all. We didn't stare into each other's eyes or caress one another's faces. We fucked. That's what it was basically a fuck buddy who I could talk about school with. She was a very smart girl, not to mention she gave great head. I never returned the favor though and I still can't figure out why. I mastered my fingering technique. I made her scream my names more times than I can count. Once she dared me to finger her while we were at the movies and believe it or not; yup shy pathetic momma's boy Edward Cullen did it. She had to bite down on her lip to hold in her moans as I worked my fingers in and out of her. I'll share with you a few of her texts that I got requesting my services.
What time do you get off work? I'm aching for you.
You better be hard when you get here because I had a rough day and need to be fucked
I'm dripping for you hurry up
Those were just a few of the text messages I got while I waited for the bus to her house. I never brought her to the house because it just felt wrong.
Anyway it was nice having someone to hang out with so I didn't feel like the 5th or 7th wheel anymore. It was cool hanging out with everyone. We were like the freaking breakfast club but it was more the dinner club. Leah and Jake, James and Bella, Shamira and I, Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett was visiting a lot more and spending massive amounts of time with Rosalie. Rose and I never really talked or got a long. It wasn't that we didn't get along it was more that we just didn't really exist to the other which was fine with me because she was fucking scary. Any woman that could handle my brother was definitely worth being afraid of. We all hung out over the winter and then Christmas rolled around. I of course went home to visit with my family. It was cool, there was no Tanya issues other than her calling and dropping by to give me a present. I never opened; just stuffed it in my closet at home and ignored her. She only had 1 month left and then she was going to be a mom. I heard through the rumor mill ' My mom ' that the babies' father ' Mr. Italiano ' was demanding a paternity test. He was trying to pin it on me. I knew damn well those kids weren't mine and I even offered up a sample to prove it. That is how my Christmas and New Years went. Nothing eventful happened.
I got back home on January 2nd and Bella was acting strange. I asked her repeatedly what was wrong and what happened while I was gone and she finally broke down and told me.
"Promise you won't say anything." Bella asked while sitting next to me on the sofa. We were watching Mystery Diagnosis. I got her hooked on it and also on ER.
"I promise. Come on I tell you everything even the embarrassing stuff." I reassured her.
"Not everything." She huffed out and crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. I was missing something. I most certainly did tell her everything.
"What's that supposed to mean? I do to tell you everything." I defended myself for a change.
"She's leaving in March? You never told me that? I thought you were falling in love with her or at least had feelings for her, how can you be in a relationship when you know it's expiration date? What's the point if you know you can't end up together?" She questioned looking at me flabbergasted. I had to remember that Bella was a virgin and wasn't entirely on the same page as the rest of us who had been around the block a few times.
"Bella, there's nothing wrong with it if both people know what to expect. It's nice having someone to be with, everyone else had someone and I found something uncomplicated." I tried to explain my relationship with Shamira to her.
"Uncomplicated? What's that supposed to mean? No feelings? No emotions? What kind of relationship is that?" She was raising her voice a bit and it was the first time I felt judged and like she was talking down to me. She never got this upset at me before and I couldn't understand why. It was my life what did it matter to her as long as I wasn't hurting anyone and wasn't getting hurt.
"That's exactly what it means, we fuck and have sex and talk about school and there's no drama, there's no worrying about if it's ok to say I love you or wondering if you are being cheated on because it doesn't matter because you can't get hurt." I raised my voice right back at her and I immediately regretted it. I could see tears brimming on the edge of her lashes threatening to spill onto her cheeks.
I knew she was upset but it had to be more than just me. There had to be something else that had her this upset. I took a deep breath and put my arm around her and pulled her close. I felt her body tense up at my touch and my heart tugged in pain. She never reacted to me like this before when I touched her. Every time we touched or hugged she would melt into me and reciprocate. Something was definitely wrong and I had to put my feelings aside and find out what it is so I could help her.
"Bella please tell me what's wrong, I know it has to be more than my relationship that has you this upset. Did something happen with James?" I asked while pulling her closer and giving her a peck on the top of her head.
She let out a sigh and rested her head on my shoulders. I felt her body begin to shake under my grasp and her arms circled around my torso and she sobbed into my chest. I heard he small sobs leak through her lips as she trembled against me. I rubbed my hands on her back and up and down her arms and smoothed her hair down her back. I hated seeing her like this. I had never seen her cry before and it was breaking my heart. Whatever had her this upset I would do anything in my power to fix it.
"I – I am breaking up with J-James." She sputtered out against my chest. My heart filled with sadness and happiness at the same time. I could barely deal with my own thoughts as the several outcomes her breakup with James could offer.
"Are you sure this is what you want? What happened?" I asked needing to understand why she was doing this.
She proceeded to tell me how he made her feel like a child and how he was expecting her to be someone she wasn't. I couldn't argue with her at all. I saw it too how he talked to her like she was a child. She told me about how the age thing was becoming an issue. He always wanted to take care of her and she didn't want a father she wanted a partner.
"Bella, I understand and I want you to know that whatever you decide and however things turn out I'll always be here for you, you know that right?" I questioned making sure she knew that no matter what happened between them she was my friend and I wouldn't let anything come between that.
"I know Edward and thank you for being here for me" She leaned in closer to me and closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder. We sat there for a while and I just held her.
It didn't take long for her to actually do it. I was having an internal battle with myself. James was my friend and mentor but I had a strong sense of loyalty to Bella and I knew that if I had to choose it would always be her. I never mentioned anything she told me to either James or Shamira. I hadn't expected him to fight her on it. I just can't picture trying to argue your way back into a relationship. He was actually trying to reason with her. I couldn't have done it. I mean if a woman told me she wasn't happy; wait Tanya did do that; I certainly wouldn't make a fool out of myself and try and list of reasons we should be together. If she is done she is done. There is no going back you can't convince someone to love you they either do or they don't.
I felt bad for him as he stormed out of the house but at least I stayed away while they were arguing. I did however chuckle silently to myself when she started quoting love poems and sayings. I knew when she started quoting that she had run out of stuff to say and that she was reaching her breaking point. Bella once again leaned on me while I comforted her after James left. I could feel her body relax against me and feel her sobs. It pained me to no end to see her like this. I never wanted to see her cry but in the end I guess she had to get it out. I was definitely proud of her for doing it. It took a lot of guts to do what she did. I knew she cared deeply for him but she just wasn't happy. She was a lot more diplomatic and caring about how she broke up with him than when Tanya broke up with me.
The next two weeks Bella moped around her day still working and taking care of Anna but she seemed sad and I tried my best to be there for her and try and cheer her up. We were watching some stupid chic flick that I got suckered into watching after Anna went to bed. I was sitting on the loveseat and Bella was sitting next to me curled up and leaning against my arm. It had been a few days since Shamira and I had well you know and I couldn't help my body's reaction when Bella slid down on the couch and rested her head on my thigh. I felt my breathing pick up when she placed her small hand to rest on my knee.
Bella's hair was sprawled out and cascading down my chest resting in my lap while her head was facing the television. Her small body was curled up and covered with a flannel blanket. I felt her body wiggle as she readjusted herself to get comfortable. Now the back of her head was pressed against my stomach and her cheek was resting on my thigh. Her hand was now cupping my thigh and I had no idea what was going through her head. It was times like these when we were touching and cuddled close that I ached to be able to read her mind. What was she thinking? Did she know the physical reaction I had to her touch? Was she doing it on purpose or was it just an innocent gesture that I was reading entirely wrong.
"Edward?" Her voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Hmm?" I responded trying to control my increased breathing.
"Do you want to go to bed I'm kind of tired?" She asked. Well hell fucking yes I wanted to go to bed with her but there were several things keeping that from happening. 1. I had a sort of girlfriend 2. She was my best friend and most likely on the REBOUND from my mentor 3. I was almost convinced that I was in the process of falling in love with her and 4. She was my boss, landlady, best friend and most likely saw me as a brother and not the sex machine I wished she saw me as. So how do I respond to 'Do you want to go to bed'? I say yes of course and then wait for her to direct me in what the hell I'm supposed to do.
"Yeah that's fine I'm kinda tired too." I said softly.
Bella got up and turned off the television while I threw away our trash from our snacks. She of course always surprised me when she met me in the kitchen and took my hand in hers. I wasn't expecting her to guide me up the stairs and to her room but that was where we ended up when she let go of my hand. I stood there sort of shocked and wondering where this was going as she took clothes out of her dresser drawer and disappeared into her bedroom. I of course being the insecure moron that I am, I stood there where she left me waiting for further instructions. Was I supposed to get in the bed or go to my room or should I strip and hop in under the covers and wait for her to make a move. There were too many possibilities and my body was responding to the last one when she returned from the bathroom dressed in a tank top and a pair of my boxers. I always wondered where they went.
"Are those mine?" I asked stupidly calling her out on it like a fucking moron. She smiled up at me and tilted her head in the most adorable Bella way that she does. She always looks so innocent how could you possibly ever be mad at her for anything.
"Mh hmm." She replied smiling at me and climbing into her bed. Well what was I supposed to say give them back. I didn't want them back I liked seeing her in my clothes. It was sexy and then of course my body caught up to my mind and I had to shift to hide my growing arousal.
"Are you going to go get ready or are you sleeping in that?" She asked looking up at me from under her covers. Right, shit I was just standing there in the middle of her bedroom.
"Um. I'll be right back." I left her room quickly and ran up to my room.
I grabbed a pair of pajama pants, a t-shirt and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I was done with my nightly routine I made my way back to her room and she was sitting up in her bed reading a book. Was she waiting for me to come to bed with her or was she waiting up to say goodnight?
"Well goodnight Bella." I smiled at her and waited for her to say goodnight but she just set her book down and lifted the covers of her bed in the spot next to her and patted the empty space.
I gave her a questioning look and she nodded at me and smiled. I turned out her light and shut the door behind me as I walked over to her bed and climbed in. We had never done this before, actually going to bed together. I mean sure we fell asleep together over the covers on more than several occasions but we never planned it out like this. I was a little nervous when she scooted closer to me and lifted my arm up and put it around her.
It was a familiar position that we found ourselves in mostly by accident but she never put my arm there. I hesitantly rested my arm on the bed next to her and tried my best to relax. Bella scooted her body closer and our bodies were resting against each other and she rested her head on my chest. Her right arm came up to rest on my shoulder and she wiggled a little and got more comfortable. I stayed completely still waiting for something to happen. Nothing happened, I could hear and feel her breathing even out as she approached sleep.
"Goodnight Edward." Her soft voice spread across my chest and her body squeezed mine as she drifted off to sleep.
"Goodnight Bella." I replied and tightened my grip around her and tried to drift off to sleep.
I was hyper aware of every breath she took and every noise she made. It must have been about 30 minutes before her right leg hitched over my leg and settled between my legs. I felt her body shift as she rolled a little on top of me. I felt the slight weight increase as she rested half on me and half on the bed. The heat radiating from her center was driving me crazy. I could have sworn that I could feel her heart beat between her legs as she straddled my thigh.
Bella's arms reached up to circle my neck and she wiggled her body up my torso and rested her face against my exposed neck and chest. I felt her let out a sigh as she drifted off into a deeper sleep. The warm breath that she let out every few seconds spread across my collarbone and sent shivers through my entire body. All of me was shivering except the growing heat on my thigh from her contact and the ever throbbing area between my legs. I must have fallen asleep sometime during the night because I was woken up by small rocking against my body.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked down and Bella was still asleep but her breathing was heavy and her lips were parted and pressing against my skin. It took me a moment to realize what exactly was happening when I felt her hips push against my hip bone.
"Mmmmm." She moaned against my chest and her hands clung to my shoulders while her hips pressed against me again.
I took a quick inventory of all of my body parts and what they were touching to make sure I wasn't invading her dreams or causing her any discomfort. All of my parts were pretty much minding their own business. My right arm was wrapped around her and my hand was resting gently on her back like it usually did when we cuddled. My right left that she was now hmm; how do you put this; HUMPING was bent a little and my other leg was just straight. My left arm was resting on my stomach minding its own business.
Now the current situation that I now found myself in was a little more than arousing and of course I responded unconsciously of course. I would never disrespect Bella like that but come on now she was humping my hip bone and well I couldn't help it; I got hard. I tightened my grip around her with my arm and she moved closer to me and was now only on me and not on the bed at all. I felt her hips rocking against my hip gently. This was possible the most torturous experience of my life. My first animalistic instinct was to flip her over and pound into her to give her the release she was obviously seeking. Of course I never ever do what my first instinct is. So I continued to lie there perfectly still and allow her to hump me like a dog in heat.
My hands were aching to reach down her small body and press against her throbbing core to help her satisfy her aching. I was half tempted to wake her up and ask her if that's what she wanted me to do but I couldn't bring myself to disturb her. I felt her hands tighten around my shoulders. Her small body tightened itself up and her muscles and limbs squeezed around me. Both of her warm soft thighs clench together while her pelvis pressed hard against my hip. I can't believe I did what I did next but I don't regret it because it had the desired effect. I pushed my hip up into where she was pressing and I felt her body tense and then start to shake as she moaned into my skin. Bella's tiny little hands gripped my shoulders tightly while her body shuddered and her hips moved up and down frantically. After a moment or so she slowed down and her breathing evened out. The iron grip her hands had on my shoulders loosened and he body relaxed against me.
"Mmmm Edward." Bella's soft groggy voice moaned out. I thought she woke up and I was terrified that she would be upset with me for helping or whatever you want to call it that I did but she didn't wake up. Her body wiggled a bit and she flipped her head over and settled back into a deep sleep. I smoothed her hair away from her face and spread it across my chest. I looked down at her sweet face which now had a small smile plastered across her pink lips. Her features were relaxed and calm. She looked like an angel. I gently kissed her forehead and settled back into my pillow to try and get some sleep.
I don't think my body or my mind was going to let me get any sleep after the erotic sleep humping that Bella had just done. I then let my mind ponder over what she said. 'Mmmm Edward.' Was she imagining me in her lust-filled dream? I was definitely going to have to call Shamira in the morning to see if she was busy; I definitely needed to find some release and soon.
A/N: Please don't hate Edward for being a horny guy and wanted to hook up with his girlfriend after Bella assaulted him in her sleep. Read and Review…. Feedback is always good.