Chapter Twelve:

'Mid Pleasures and Palaces

On Friday morning, the Funny Farm packed up their trunks and prepared to leave Graiguenmanagh for Hogwarts. Mrs. Finnigan, with a Tupperware container full of Floo powder, helped them through the large fireplace in the parlor, and momentarily they were tumbling out of the green flames into the Leaky Cauldron, where Tom waved toothlessly. After a stop at St. Mungo's to have Seamus' appendix-less abdomen properly treated, they took their first-ever London sightseeing trip, visiting Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, the Tower where numerous historical figures were beheaded and tortured ("Whoops!" Seamus said, pushing Dean almost into an iron maiden), Madam Tussaud's ("This wax replica is particularly ugly," Tanya noted, staring pensively at the disgruntled-looking security guard), and even the Victoria and Albert Museum on special request of Rachel, who spent an hour poring over Queen Victoria's rich, Gone With the Wind-esque gowns.

Understandably, it was extremely difficult to enter Platform 9 ¾ and see the puffing scarlet steam engine that would take them to nine months of work.

"If your stomach starts to hurt again, go straight to Madam Pomfrey," Mrs. Finnigan was telling Seamus. "I've already sent ahead and told them about your condition."

"I don't have a condition, Mam!"

"Nevertheless, I told them about it." She kissed him as the Hogwarts Express blew its whistle. "Be good."

"I'll try."

"Goodbye, girls, goodbye, Dean!"

"Bye, Mrs. Finnigan!"

She waved, and they were about to climb onto the train when someone's big black dog bounded past. "Puppy!" Tanya cried, and would have chased it if Katelyn and Hannah had not caught her by the arms and dragged her back onto the train.

"But the puppy—"

"We're leaving the station."

"Oh."

They took their trunks and squeezed into a compartment that seemed quite a bit smaller than it had last year. Obligingly, Seamus and Dean put everyone's luggage in the overhead bay and took their seats, Rachel's owl screeching unhappily from its place behind Tanya's trunk.

"We may have to look into splitting up for next term's train ride in," Dean groaned. "We're hardly little enough to fit all in here anymore."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Tanya, squashed between Seamus and the wall.

"We'll learn to deal," Rachel said confidently. (She didn't seem to mind being crushed between Seamus and the wall.)

No one else looked very confident in this pronouncement, and silence reigned for a few minutes, the train chugging away under their feet. At last, Seamus leaned back in his seat and said, "I'm glad you guys came to visit."

"Aw, we're glad you put up with us," Katelyn said, kicking him fondly.

He shook his head. "No—I'm really glad."

Everyone looked at him. "Why's that, then?" Hannah asked.

Seamus sighed and looked at his hands. "Me mam didn't want me to come back to Hogwarts."

"What?" Rachel cried. "Why?"

"I think…I think it's because of Harry."

Everyone blinked. "Harry Potter?" Hannah asked. "Why?"

"She thinks he's dangerous." Seamus snorted. "I tried to tell her that she's being overprotective, but…"

Katelyn growled. "Everyone's against Harry!"

"Well," said Dean, "there's not a lot going for him."

"Harry-hater."

"We don't hate him," Seamus said defensively. "We just don't…really…believe him. At least I'm not afraid of him like my mam. But you gotta admit—the whole You-Know-Who coming back and Cedric's death and all that? The evidence is kinda stacked against him."

"No, it isn't!" Rachel exclaimed.

"'Fraid it is."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Have you been reading the Prophet? It is."

"All right, you two," Katelyn interrupted. "Don't make me put you in time-out."

Rachel and Seamus grumbled.

"So, Seamus, why did your mom change her mind?" Hannah said.

He leaned back in seat, crushing Rachel's arm and Tanya in the process. "Well, once she saw you guys and how much you all liked it at Hogwarts, she decided to let me go back this year."

"This year?" Tanya echoed.

"She said she'd think about sixth and seventh years."

The compartment was silent. "So…" Rachel said finally, "we might never see you again?"

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say never," Seamus replied, his voice suddenly gruff. "We could always, y'know, write to each other…"

The prospect of their Irishman being torn from their grasp made the Funny Farm suddenly very solemn. Tanya clung to his arm, Rachel shyly patted his hand, and Katelyn kicked him a little less violently than before, but the train ride to Hogsmeade Station was considerably more subdued than in previous years.

There was a steady rain as they disembarked onto the platform and loaded into the horseless carriages, aptly marking the group mood. But when they entered the Great Hall, with its candles and torches ablaze and golden plates beckoning, their moods began to lift.

"It's good to be home," Hannah sighed with a smile.

"Here, here," replied the other five.

"Terry!" Tanya exclaimed then, and hurried off to greet her Ravenclaw friend.

"Oh, there's Hermione," Rachel said. "I've heard she's Prefect this year—let's go say hi."

"I'll save our seats," said Seamus, sitting down on a bench.

Katelyn put her hands on her hips. "You just don't want to go over there because of Harry!"

"So?" Seamus retorted.

"You realize you have to share a dorm with him, right?"

"Don't argue," Rachel—yes, Rachel—sighed, pulling Katelyn away. The girls went over to congratulate Hermione and greet Harry and Ron, leaving Seamus and Dean to sit at the long Gryffindor table in silence.

"I don't understand why you don't trust Harry's word," Hannah said to Seamus when they came back. "We just told him we believed him and he seemed so relieved."

"'Cause it's ridiculous," Seamus replied, his eyes flashing.

Once again, Rachel stepped between the two and put a hand over Seamus' mouth. "Stop fighting with everyone, you little leprechaun. Everyone else, no mention of any classmates. Supper's about ready, anyhow."

She took her hand away from his face, leaving a red splotch where her thumb had been, and sat down next to him. The other girls found their seats, and the chatter in the Hall climbed to an even higher level as anticipation for the impending meal increased.

A moment later, the doors banged open and Professor McGonagall, a scroll clutched in her hand, strode purposefully into the Hall, leading that year's newbies. "Were we ever that small?" Seamus said in Rachel's ear.

"Impossible," she whispered back.

Seamus was about to reply, but the Sorting Hat opened its mouth and began to sing.

In times of old when I was new

And Hogwarts barely started

The founders of our noble school

Thought never to be parted:

United by a common goal,

They had the selfsame yearning,

To make the world's best magic school

And pass along their learning.

'Together we will build and teach!'

The four good friends decided

And never did they dream that they

Might some day be divided,

For were there such friends anywhere

As Slytherin and Gryffindor?

Unless it was the second pair

Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw?

So how could it have gone so wrong?

How could such friendships fail?

Why, I was there and so can tell

The whole sad, sorry tale.

Said Slytherin, 'We'll teach just those

Whose ancestry is purest.'

Said Ravenclaw, 'We'll teach those whose

Intelligence is surest.'

Said Gryffindor, 'We'll teach all those

With brave deeds to their name,'

Said Hufflepuff, 'I'll teach the lot,

And treat them just the same.'

These differences caused little strife

When first they came to light,

For each of the four founders had

A house in which they might

Take only those they wanted, so,

For instance, Slytherin

Took only pure-blood wizards

Of great cunning, just like him,

And only those of sharpest mind

Were taught by Ravenclaw

While the bravest and the boldest

Went to daring Gryffindor.

Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,

And taught them all she knew,

Thus the houses and their founders

Retained friendships firm and true.

So Hogwarts worked in harmony

For several happy years,

But then discord crept among us

Feeding on our faults and fears

The houses that, like pillars four,

Had once held up our school,

Now turned upon each other and,

Divided, sought to rule.

And for a while it seemed the school

Must meet an early end,

What with dueling and with fighting

And the clash of friend on friend

And at last there came a morning

When old Slytherin departed

And though the fighting then died out

He left us quite downhearted.

And never since the founders four

Were whittled down to three

Have the houses been united

As they once were meant to be.

And now the Sorting Hat is here

And you all know the score:

I sort you into houses

Because that is what I'm for,

But this year I'll go further,

Listen closely to my song:

Though condemned I am to split you

Still I worry that it's wrong,

Though I must fulfill my duty

And must quarter every year

Still I wonder whether Sorting

May not bring the end I fear.

Oh, know the perils, read the signs,

The warning history shows,

For our Hogwarts is in danger

From external, deadly foes

And we must unite inside her

Or we'll crumble from within

I have told you, I have warned you...

Let the Sorting now begin.

The Funny Farm blinked and looked slack-jawed at each other. Not once, in their four years—now five—at Hogwarts, had they heard the Sorting Hat sing a song with such concrete urgency. Its lyrics had always concerned the strengths and weaknesses of each house, sometimes a bit of history—but never dire warnings.

"What d'you suppose that meant?" Dean asked under the cover of applause.

"I suppose it meant unite," said Tanya.

"…Thank you, Captain Obvious…"

Hannah shushed everyone. "It's time for the Sorting!"

"Abercrombie, Euan."

Thus the students were forced to wait all the way to "Zeller, Rose," before Dumbledore stood up and spread his arms wide. "To our newcomers—" he said loudly, his voice echoing against the Hall walls, "welcome! To our old hands—welcome back! There is a time for speech-making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

The Funny Farm laughed and did as they were bid, and silence reigned at their end of the table while they were busy stuffing their faces. At last, when they had all finished, Rachel sighed.

"I hope they have Quidditch again this year."

"Yeah," Seamus replied. "None of that bloody Tournament stuff."

"That turned out so well last year," Dean said, looking over at the still gloomy-looking Hufflepuffs.

At that moment, Dumbledore stood up again and everyone in the Hall quieted down to listen. "Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices. First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students—and of few of our older students ought to know by now too.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the 462nd time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes—" (the Funny Farm looked more than a little guilty—was that a rule, now?) "nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door.

"…Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on—"

"Yes!" Rachel hissed, jerking back to attention. When she had recovered from her bout of excitement, she looked up to see that Dumbledore had stopped talking and that everyone was staring at the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, the squat woman dressed in pink. Apparently, she was standing and attempting to make a speech—the likes of which no one had ever seen!

"Thank you, Headmaster," she giggled, "for those kind words of welcome."

"And you are…?" Seamus muttered.

"When are tryouts?" Rachel answered.

Everyone shrugged.

"Hem hem. Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say!"

The girls wanted to pay attention—really, they did. But Seamus and Dean had gotten out their wands and were making the leftover food do some very interesting things, and before they knew it, they had completely disregarded the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Because of this, they also missed Dumbledore's announcement of when Quidditch tryouts would be, as well as his closing statements. "I feel kind of bad for missing the new lady's speech," Hannah said as they were filing out of the Hall.

"What could she have said that was so important?" Dean snorted. "I mean, I doubt it was anything more than 'ooh, so happy to be here,' 'we're going to be best friends,' etc."

"Are you sure it wasn't anything important?" Hannah asked worriedly.

"Naw," Katelyn replied. "If it was, I'm sure we'll find out what it was eventually."

And so, with that vote of confidence, everyone went upstairs to bed.