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Munch was writing up he and Elliot's trip to meet the second vic when suddenly he was interrupted by Alex perching herself on the edge of the desk, a wistful expression on her face. "What I don't understand," she began, and as she did so he followed her gaze to the opposite side of the room where Elliot had just finished helping Olivia into her jacket, and was wrapping his arm tenderly around her shoulder to help her out of the squad room, "is the fact that I'm someone's daughter. Someone's sister. Hell, I've even been someone's girlfriend. And yet no one's ever cared that much about me."
"I've never cared that much about any woman." Munch replied, "Mind you, there's a reason for that, given that all four of my ex wives were money grabbing, nagging witches." He kept his tone deliberately light, not wanting to commit himself to serious comment where the relationship between his SVU colleagues with concerned. He thought Alex was on their side, thought he could trust her, but being as he was, naturally suspicious by nature, he was never going to be entirely convinced.
Unfortunately Alex was never going to let him off the hook that easily.
"Is that a partners thing?"
He cracked a smile, "Sure, Tutuola and I hold hands wherever we go."
Alex shot him a frustrated look, clearly aware that he was being deliberately evasive, "I'm not trying to catch anyone out John. I just wondered, that's all. For Gods sake, I'm not enemy. I want to catch this perp too. I want him put away for a long time."
"And will you?" Munch asked her, "What's this shit looking at when we find him?"
There was a long silence and from the look on Alex's face Munch could tell he wasn't going to like the answer. And he wasn't wrong.
"For Olivia? Drink spiking carries a maximum of 10 years imprisonment. But if he's a first time offender, it could be half that, and with good behaviour…"
Munch digested her words, did the math, "He could be out virtually before he's even in." He glanced down at the witness statement on his desk, "But there's the second vic. Would it be too much trouble for you to get a rape charge to stick on that?" He knew he was being prickly but he'd seen two people he cared about in too much pain in the preceding 12 hours to entertain the possibility that he perp behind it might walk away.
Alex looked at him thoughtfully, "We'd get a longer sentence on that if we can prove that. I mean that's rape, although," she added, sounding like a true harbinger of doom, "in that case he could end up serving any time he gets for Olivia concurrently. I'm not sure how she'd feel about that."
He didn't know how Olivia would feel about it but he knew that he thought it was a load of crap. Serving a sentence concurrently was like not serving one at all. That said, Alex hadn't finished.
"But like I said, that's only if I can get it to stick at all. Any of it. Aside from the drugs in Olivia's system we're not exactly drowning in evidence. We've got an unreported rape, a rape attempt that never even got off of the ground. Even if we can get a match on the drugs and an ID on a suspect, it doesn't leave us with much."
Munch's eyes narrowed, unable to believe what he was hearing, "You're saying this pervert could walk."
Another awkward silence and then Alex nodded slowly, "I hate saying it John. But yeah. He could."
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After his altercation with Elliot, Fin returned to the roof, a place that was fast becoming his safe haven in the precinct. The only place he felt like he could breathe. Well, that and smoke, which was, he supposed, something of a contradiction.
He'd been up there a while when Cragen appeared, crossing the roof and sitting down beside him. He looked at him, waited, not bothering to guess whether it was a reading of riot act or another dose of sympathy that was coming his way. The answer was going to come soon enough anyway.
As it turned out, the Captain had his kid gloves on.
"I just sent Benson and Stabler home. I suggest you do the same."
He shook his head, "No thank you Sir." He registered the other mans surprise, "You've benched me, but I can work this. Drive it from the desk. There's plenty of case files left to go through."
He thought he'd got away with it, that Cragen was going to let him stay, but then he discovered otherwise.
"Detective, you were implicated in this case. You're a witness in this case. Go home."
"And do what?" The words came out more violently than he intended, spat out as he tossed his dog end to the floor and began to roll another cigarette, "Relax? Sleep? Read a good book? Do you have any idea what's going on in here right now?" He touched the side of his head lightly, "Cos trust me Capt'n, I aint gonna be doing those things for a long time to come. My brain won't let me." It was an understatement actually. It wasn't that his brain wasn't prepared to work, it was that it was, in overdrive. The whole of the night before rushing through it again and again just for him to chew over, to analyse. Everything Livvy had said, everything Livvy had done, each moan, each sigh, each whimper. The whimpers were particularly contentious, the moans too, sounds that at the time had proved such a turn on but now left him wondering if he'd missed a vital signal; if actually, she'd tried to ask him to stop.
If he ever discovered she had… If he ever remembered she had…. Well, he didn't know what he'd do but, it wasn't gonna be good.
"Fin." The Captain cut into his thoughts, again sounding all sympathetic, which was so much more than he deserved, "I was just talking to Elliot. He thinks Olivia will struggle to ever come back to the job."
Fin was bemused by the direction the conversation was taking. Talk about kicking a man when he was down. As if he didn't feel bad enough about Livvy without hearing that screwing him was enough to put her off the job for life. That said, he wasn't actually sure I believed it.
"Livvy won't quit." He said shaking his head, "This has hurt her. Shaken her. But she's Livvy. She's a strong kid. She'll fight back. The only way she'd ever leave this job before her time is up, is in a box." Even as he said it, he knew they were big words that actually given the state she'd been in that day stood every chance of not coming true. But yet Fin had to believe they would, or else he suspected he'd crack up himself.
"Time will tell I guess." Cragen said, before moving on and revealing to Fin why he'd actually brought it up in the first place, "And what about your future? When this case is through, do you still want to be a cop?"
Again, as it had been with Livvy, his answer was automatic, "Of course. I love this job."
The Captain smiled, "Good. Then go home, get your head together and find a way to accept what happened between Olivia and you. To cope with the guilt and sense of responsibility you're feeling for what happened. And then, when all this is done, we'll be able to move on, as a squad. You and Olivia, Elliot and Munch, and me. We can make it work, but you've got deal with your demons first Fin, just like Olivia needs to."
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As he sat on the couch in his living room, waiting for Olivia to finish up in the bathoom, Elliot found it hard to believe that only 12 hours earlier he and Kathy had been making love to celebrate their anniversary. It seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had changed since then, irreparably so in some cases.
Just as he was thinking that, Olivia reappeared, clad in a pair of Kathy's pyjamas, her hair wet from her latest shower. Her 3rd? Or 4th even. He could barely keep up anymore. He'd wanted to stop her, didn't like the way that each time she took one the skin around her neck and wrists seemed to look increasingly redder and more sore when she emerged. But how could he deny her, when it was what she wanted, what she needed.
He patted the couch beside him, "You going to come and sit with me?"
She nodded, moving to his side and lowering herself down gingerly, wincing as she did so. She was clearly still in severe pain, both physical and mental and it killed him that there was nothing he could do about it. He offered her pain killers but she shook her head, instead leaning into him, wrapping her arms around him, in a gesture that seemed to be second nature to them both now. He'd been surprised by her need for physical contact at first, but actually, it was almost a good sign. At least he could comfort her, at least she wasn't cowered in a corner, terrified of being touched like so many victims he'd seen in the past.
He twisted round slightly, trying to get her comfortable, and when they eventually found a position that suited them both, he was laying down, propped up by a pile of cushions, with her beside him, although her arms were wrapped round him in such a way that her upper body was resting on his stomach and her head on his chest. He looked down at her, wanting to check she was ok and to his surprise her eyes were already closed. He ran his fingers through her hair, "Are you alright?"
She opened her eyes sleepily, "Yeah? Can I stay like this?"
"Sure." He planted a kiss on her forehead then watched as she closed her eyes again, almost relieved she was going to sleep. After everything she'd been through she needed all the rest she could get. She must have concurred with the view point, because soon after she slipped off to sleep, leaving Elliot just to hold her and watch her, wanting to be there for her if the nightmares came.
But actually, they didn't seem to. There were moments where he held his breath, when she twisted awkwardly in his arms, or let out the occasional cry or gasp, but for the most part she slept soundly.
So soundly that she didn't even wake when Kathy arrived home an hour or so later, fresh back from the supermarket by the look of all the bags in her hands. The minute the door went, Elliot held his breath, knowing how his wife felt about his partner and not entirely sure that the temporary ceasefire of the night before would continue, especially not taking into account the way Olivia was sprawled across him nor the fact she was clad in his wife's pyjamas. He braced himself, waiting for Kathy to appear but actually, as it turned out, his concerns were unfounded.
"How is she?" His wife asked, her voice at a whisper, as she sat in the armchair next to the sofa, eyeing the two of them with not an ounce of suspicion but instead with bucket loads of sympathy.
He shrugged, "Its not good Kath. I'm sorry I brought her here," He added, "She didn't want to go back to her apartment." That was putting it mildly really, considering the way she'd cried when he'd suggested it, "She was outside there when it hit her what had happened. She just couldn't face it."
Curiously, Kathy smiled, "Its fine. Elliot, she needs you. I know that." She got to her feet, "I'll make you some tea, then I'll make up the twin beds in the spare room. You can sleep with her in there tonight. Ok?"
Ok? No. It wasn't ok. Not by a long shot. On one hand, he was glad that Kathy wasn't being objectionable because he wouldn't have handled it and neither would Olivia. But… all the same… making up the spare room for the two of them? Coming on THAT nice when usually she couldn't hear Olivia's name without gnashing her teeth. And yes, he knew the reasons why; she was being kind and compassionate because of what his partner was going through, but, if he was honest it was just another reminder that everything had changed.
And that was the last thing he needed.
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