Jennifer had just put the finishing touches on her makeup as she looked at herself in the mirror. It wasn't her usual attire for a night of camming, an oversized baggy pajama shirt that had probably belonged to Jeremy at some point and a pair of panties. She didn't feel right about being on cam being pregnant, and she decided to keep her stomach covered, even if there were a lot of men who would pay a high dollar for a pregnancy fetish. She hadn't planned to be pregnant, so now that she was, she was feeling her way through it like she was in a dark room looking for a light switch. She hadn't cammed at all since she had found out, and her bills had hurt for it, but now she didn't have a choice. Her property tax bill was due, and she didn't have nearly enough money in savings to cover it.
She fluffed her hair once more as she heard a knocking on her door. The kids had been in bed for an hour, and she knew it could only be one person. Before she could get all the way to the door, she saw Jax open it up and come through, scowling as he looked at her door pointedly, chastising her for leaving it unlocked without saying anything. She rolled her eyes. Things had been amicable with them since they had talked about the pregnancy, but they hadn't made any definitive plans. She still didn't even know if they were going to be 'together' or not, and she was glad to avoid the topic.
Jax pulled his riding gloves off as he looked her up and down, a question playing in his eyes. He didn't seem like himself lately. He seemed stressed, tense; and while she could write most of that off to his shock at being a first-time parent, she couldn't help but feel that something else was going on that she didn't know about.
"What are you all done up for?" He asked calmly, but his eyes betrayed him.
"I've gotta work. I have to pay the taxes on the house, I'm way behind on everything." She remarked nonchalantly, trying to pull her shirt down to cover herself up more to no avail. Jax looked serene as he pushed past her, and she floundered in confusion as she watched him stalk down her hallway, pushing open her bedroom door. She padded after him quickly, and her mouth hung open as she watched him grab her laptop and webcam and smash them on the rail of her bad, stomping on them on the floor for good measure.
"What the FUCK!" She hollered, pushing him away from the mess ineffectively. She wanted to sob. Her laptop and her webcam had cost her well over 2k alone, and there was no way she could get the money to replace them before the tax bill was due. And on top of that, she had already been streaming when Jax had smashed everything, and she thought of all her regulars seeing an angry biker storm up and then a black screen and radio silence. She wanted to rage on him.
"You're not doing this shit, not when you're pregnant with my kid."
"Jesus, you sexist piece of shit! So, what, it's okay when you were just fucking me but now I have to be Lady Madonna cause I'm knocked up with your demon spawn? I have fucking bills, Jax! You just fucked my shit up! What the FUCK!?" She asked again, for good measure. She sat down on the bed, trying to calm her breathing. She knew she shouldn't be so worked up, but she felt like she was going to pass out from how angry she was on top of being pregnant. She held her head in her hands as she tried to level her breathing, and when she peered up again, she saw Jax standing in front of her. When she didn't get up, he got down on one knee to get eye level with her.
"If you need something, just let me know. You don't have to ask, Jen. It's not charity. It's my responsibility now."
"It's your responsibility to take care of your kid, not me." She huffed out, biting her lip and refusing to make eye contact with him. Right now, she was on the verge of tears just thinking of all the money she had already lost, and how much more she was going to lose, and she wanted to cry from anger at how helpless she felt. Helplessness was one emotion she did her best not to partake in. Nothing made her happier than a full bank account, and money was the only thing that stood between her and chaos. It was the only thing she could count on undeniably. She wasn't likely to be inclined to let someone else control her cash flow.
"Yeah, that's true. But a happy, relaxed mama means a happy baby. So, I'll keep you both well up." He smirked as she saw the corner of Jennifer's mouth turn up into a small smile that she was battling so she could continue to glare at him. "For now…" He added venomously, playing around with her like he knew she liked. He had grown accustomed to her, and he knew what made her laugh.
Jennifer pushed him away light-heartedly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Why do you always have to ruin it when you say something nice by being such a complete shit-head immediately afterwards?" She asked him in annoyed voice laced with amusement.
"You like it." Jax teased her as he moved up on her, kissing her neck. Truth be told, she would rather be here getting frisky with Jax than on cam pleasing nameless, faceless strangers. And while she was content in the knowledge that she had what she wanted, at least for now, the idea that he was becoming increasingly important to her scared her to death. Whenever she let someone in, shit always went sideways. She knew without a doubt that a man like him was not an exception to the rule.
She stood up, pulling him up with her by the collar of his kutte, and kissed him feverishly. Jax responded languidly, not working himself up too much with her affections. That wasn't enough for her, and she pushed up against him more, unbuckling his belt and slipping her hand inside his jeans to grip the object of her attention.
When Jax growled in response, she smirked against his lips. "You still want to fuck me, don't you?"
"Still?" He asked, preoccupied with trying to get her shirt off her.
"Even though I'm pregnant."
Jax's eyebrows raised at her remark. "I always want to fuck you, Jen. And I like you, pregnant. Pregnant for me."
Jennifer melted into the smooth, sensual sound of his voice, feeling herself get wet at his possessiveness. Jax's hand slipped into her underwear, rubbing her pussy unhurriedly, taking his sweet time before pushing two of his fingers inside of her tight cunt.
"This is all mine." He said into her ear, kissing her neck as he stroked her. "You understand me?"
"Mmmm" was all she could manage as she succumbed to his ministrations. Suddenly Jax's hand stilled, and she looked up at him with indignation and neediness.
"Say it." He commanded.
"It's all yours." She answered obediently, keeping eye contact with him. She was not saying it out of need or want, but out of pride and determination. If he wanted her so bad, she would be glad to see if he was up for the task.
Jax smiled like a predator as he pushed her back onto the bed, climbing on top of her. "Good girl."
SOASOASOASOASOA
Jax and her had fallen into a steady routine over the last month and a half. He spent a great deal of time with her and around her house, and they had decided collectively that they needed to introduce him to Erin and Michael as her boyfriend, so they could get to know him before they dropped the knowledge on them that they were expecting a child together. She was worried about it, as her kids had never seen her with anyone except for Jeremy and she wanted them to feel safe and secure in the situation.
Erin regarded Jax with a reserved indifference, and she was glad that Jax had been respectful of the distance and allowed Erin to come around to the idea of him on her own time, not that she expected him to come out swinging like he was the new man around the house. Neither of them had ever navigated a situation like this, and Jax seemed to be handling it better than Jennifer was. She was always on alert whenever all four of them were together, like she was expecting for something to go horribly wrong, and she seemed to be confused about what boundaries were the correct or appropriate ones. She felt like she was constantly biting her tongue around Jax, as she didn't want Erin and Michael exposed to their incessant bickering. Jax noticed the change in her demeanor, and constantly jeered at her when they were alone at how being knocked up made her submissive and pliable, earning him well aimed punches to the arm and pointed glares.
Michael had come around to Jax quickly. He seemed to latch onto any sort of male figure in his life, and Jen felt a mixture of confusion and sadness knowing that it was because he had never had a strong and steady father figure in his life, at least not that he could truly remember. Jax took it with grace though, treating Michael like he was his little buddy, and never acting too busy to entertain Michael's crazy ideas and notions whenever he sought him out. Once, on the weekend, Jax had stopped by for breakfast and when he had to leave for work, Michael begged them both to let him go with. He wanted to learn how to fix cars and motorcycles just like Jax. Jennifer had looked at him with an alert stare, hoping to god that Jax really was working at Teller-Morrow and that he wouldn't mind having a kid around. He had laughed her off and told Michael to get his shoes on. It still all seemed to good to be true. Things had been on such an even keel. She hadn't heard from Jeremy or anyone that she had expected to hear from, and her kids and Jax were getting along, at least, as much as she could hope they would. She tried not to think about how her family was going to react, or the fact that Jax was set to serve some real time soon. She couldn't think about all that right now. She was barely keeping her head above water with the issues in front of her.
So, when the other shoe dropped, and Gemma finally came calling, she wasn't surprised. She was running book at Cara Cara, a job Jax had so graciously given back to her full-time so she could make more money. When Gemma strolled through the office door with purpose, Jennifer leaned back in her chair with a resigned sigh. She could tell by her body language and the look on her face that Gemma was making a concentrated effort to be nice to her, and had Jen been less exhausted and less hormonal, she probably would have made the same effort.
"Gemma…" She started, not trying at all the keep the unamused tone out of her voice.
"Thought I would come say hi. See how my grandson is doing." Her voice was sickeningly sweet, and Jennifer didn't know what all she had do to earn her wrath, but it didn't really matter at this point.
"Granddaughter." Jennifer corrected. "We found out a couple of weeks ago."
Gemma looked hurt, and she could only glean that Jax had not offered up the information to her yet. Everything about the pregnancy had been so slow moving. She felt like at this rate most of her own family wouldn't even know until she gave birth.
Gemma made a show of smiling at the news, like she was happy about it, but Jennifer had a sneaking suspicion she was somewhat disillusioned.
"You and Jax, how are you guys doing? With everything?"
Jennifer shrugged "As good as we can be, I guess. He's stepping up."
Jennifer and Gemma looked at each other awkwardly for a timeless time, before Jennifer finally let out a chuckle.
"Why is this so fucking weird?"
Gemma sighed, settling down into the couch across from the desk. "Because it's unexpected. Honestly, after the last conversation I heard between you and Jax, I'm a little concerned about the idea of you bringing a kid into the world. You guys fight, a lot."
"And?" Jennifer asked irritably. She wasn't about to be talked down a notch by someone who hooked up with felons and gun-runners, just like her. She could only assume she had heard the fight between them at the Clubhouse after Jax had found out about her rape, a scene she fervently wished she could forget. Gemma wasn't any better than her. And if she was trying to paint some picture of civility in child-rearing, Jennifer was not here for it.
Gemma looked at her like she was about to snap back with something vicious, but she stopped herself. "I know Jax, better than anybody. He cares about you. You guys need to stop dancing around each other. If you're going to be in, go all in. He can take care of you, Jennifer. The Club can. He's willing to give that to you. That's more than I can say for anyone else he's ever been with." Gemma got up from her seat, walking over to Jennifer and laying a hand on her stomach. "There's no getting away from it now. And I expect to see this little one a lot. If you and Jax are planning to make this work, I'd like to meet your kids as well. We all need to get on track."
Jennifer stilled at her words in an attempt to take them all in. She appreciated what Gemma was saying and respected her extending the olive branch. The idea of blending their families was one she looked forward to, since they really had no other viable choice if Jax wanted to be as involved as he was acting like he wanted to be. The problem was, she couldn't help but feel like it was all a pipe dream. At the end of the day, she was the daughter of an Aryan, and her and the kids were so wrapped up in that side of her life the idea of unraveling or merging those ties seemed like an impossibility. She didn't want to raise her kids hating half of who they were. She wanted them to know and understand both sides; to know their grandfathers and uncles and love them just as much as she did. She just didn't know how it would ever happen, and she felt the familiar feeling of being pulled in every direction anytime she dwelled on the thought.
"I want that, too." Jennifer replied lamely, wishing to everything at that moment that she could just have a different life.
SOASOASOASOA
Jennifer watched Michael as he swung around on the monkey bars eagerly, while Erin called to him from the top of the playground equipment, beckoning him to come up and enjoy some imaginary game she had conjured up. Jen smiled brightly; nothing could make her feel more at ease than watching her children play. They were so pure and so free and so wild, and she felt like all was right in the world as long as they were at ease.
She jumped slightly and nearly swung on someone as she felt two hands circle around her waist, but she relaxed instantly as soon as she felt the familiar brush of leather against her arms, and the sweet smell of smoke and another smell that was distinctively Jax, something she hadn't pinpointed yet.
"You trying to get shot in broad daylight?" She asked, her tone annoyed even though she relaxed into his touch with a keening sense of happiness.
"You're not carrying." He remarked, running his hands down her sides, and he was right, in the long summer dress she wore. She didn't make it a habit to carry all the time, but maybe she should.
"Well, I've got a switchblade in my purse. I could've at least maimed you a bit."
"And yet here I stand." He chuckled, kissing her on the cheek before he moved around in front of her, lighting a cigarette after taking a few decent steps away from her.
"JAX!" Michael yelled as he jumped from the playground equipment, barreling towards him at breakneck speed and crashing into his legs.
"Hey little man." Jax scooped him up, tickling him and causing him to run away in glee back to the playground, the temporary distraction gone before it even started.
"So, how's life?" She asked, pushing her sunglasses up onto her head as she peered up at him.
Jax shrugged, giving nothing away, something she had become used to. In all the time she had known him, he had never uttered a word to her about Club business and expecting a child with him had not changed that a bit.
"I need to talk to you about something." He said seriously, throwing his cigarette away from him with aplomb as he moved closer to her. "I need you to move to Charming."
Jennifer stared at him for a moment with a blank look, waiting for the punch line. When it became obvious that he wasn't joking, she laughed so loudly Erin looked over from the swings.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?"
She could see Jax growing angry, and she tried to tone it down and stop laughing before they ended up in an all-out argument.
"It's not safe for you to live in Lodi now… With the way things are. Soon it'll all be common knowledge. You need to stay somewhere where you and our little girl are protected."
She softened at his words, but she was still not even close to convinced.
"I've lived in Lodi my whole life, the kids go to school there. I own my house, Jax. I'm not just going to give that up. And before we make any big moves, I need to know what the fuck is going on with you. You're about to do hard time, like a million fucking years. What does it matter where I live if you're not even around?"
Jax looked away from her pointedly. "We're not going to be in for that long, so quit worrying about that."
Jen stilled at his words, eyeing him warily. "How do you know that?" She asked suspiciously.
Jax stalked over towards her, pulling her into a long kiss. "Quit worrying." He commanded, leaving no room for question. Jennifer stared as he walked away. Something was not right, and she didn't like it one fucking bit.
SOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jax looked around the empty house unenthusiastically as Jennifer buzzed around, a small smile on her face and determination in her eyes that would be enough to scare any man. Whenever she set her sights on something she wanted, she tended to lock her jaw on it quickly and viciously.
"So, what do you think?" She asked him, making her way back towards the front of the house.
"It's old as fuck." He murmured discontentedly. "I thought since I was footing the bill you might take the chance to upgrade."
"It has CHARACTER." She argued. "And I like it, so that's all that matters. You want me to move to Charming or not?" The house was old, a 1930's bungalow style house that had been added onto at some point to make it into a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom. She loved it even with all it's quirks, and she wasn't about to let Jax ruin her good mood. She hated new builds. Sure, they were big and clean and glamorous, but she felt more at home in older houses, houses who had the mark of a life lived in them. It wasn't some historically preserved masterpiece, but it had a million little things about it that she adored, and a surprisingly big backyard. The only thing really new about the place was a garage that had been built on the property about 10 years ago.
"They're not even selling it. I don't want to waste my money renting."
"So, make them an offer they can't refuse. Aren't you supposed to be good at that?"
"So, you want me to make an offer well over what they would be able to ask for it? Then I'm still losing money."
"Quit worrying." She replied, mocking the signature line he tended to use on her lately. When Jax didn't budge, she sighed as she moved her way over to him, putting her arms around his neck and sweetening up her voice. "It'll make me happy, Jax. Wasn't that the goal these days, since I'm pregnant and all?"
Jax smirked. "You're good, but not that good. Keep trying."
Jennifer scowled, dropping her façade of nicety. "Well if you think I'll suck your dick just to get the house, I won't. I'll just stay put in Lodi where I'm already comfortable."
Jax laughed. "I'll get the head anyways, and you're coming here whether you like it or not. We both know that." His voice was deceptively smooth, for all the possessive, dark meaning his words held.
Jennifer pouted and Jax grinned against her lips as he kissed her lightly when his phone rang. The words exchanged were short and he hung up abruptly.
"I gotta go. Get the house. As long as you and the kids are happy here, I guess I don't give a shit one way or another."
SOASOASOASOA
A week later, Jennifer woke with a start as her phone rang angrily from it's place on her vanity in her bedroom. It was 2 AM, and being pregnant, she especially didn't like being woken up at such an ungodly hour, even if her heart did sink knowing something was undoubtedly wrong. When she saw Gemma's name flashing across her phone, she answered quickly, fumbling with her phone in her sleepy state.
"Yeah?"
"Jax is in jail."
Jennifer rubbed her eyes as though she was trying to wake herself from a bad dream. "Why? Did he violate his parole?"
"I guess you could say that." Gemma scoffed, with no trace of humor in her voice.
"Jesus Christ, can you just tell me what happened?" Jennifer snapped, too tired to keep the agitation out of her voice.
"He's in county jail in Stockton for assault. On your ex-husband."
Jennifer was still for a timeless time, the only sound the tired, harsh rasp of her breathing. "Can you come sit at the house with the kids, so I can go pick him up?" The easier alternative would have been for Gemma to bail him out, but she figured she was calling her for a reason. And Jen needed to see him.
"Yeah, sure." Gemma replied in annoyance, ending the phone call before Jennifer could say anything else. She flipped her light on, glaring at the at the harsh glow of it, as she fumbled to pull her hair up into a bun on top of her head and struggled to put a bra on. She could kill Jax for making her put a bar on at 2 AM alone. She threw on a tank top and jeans, and because she was not trying to be fashionable, she grabbed the hoodie laying on the chair in her room, which just so happened to be Jax's and boldly emblazoned with the Samcro logo.
She was just hopping out of the hallway putting her sandals on when Gemma walked through the front door.
"Don't you keep this shit locked?" Gemma asked judgmentally, and Jen couldn't help but wonder what the fuck it was with these people. They always had something to fucking say about everything. For a group with so much swaggering and boasting, she thought it was funny that they were scared enough to lock their doors. A locked door never kept anyone out.
"I'll be right back. Thanks for watching them."
"You look like shit." Gemma remarked casually over her shoulder as Jen flew by on her way out the door. Jen thought it was eerie than Gemma still had a full face of makeup and was dressed as though it were practically a regular day, absent her stiletto heels.
"Thanks, Grandma."
By the time she got into Stockton, she had perked up barely, and she could only infer that they had been picked up in Stockton because Jeremy had been fighting there. She still hadn't worked out why Jax had confronted him, but she was interested to know the whole story. Interested. Her life was so fucked up these days, all she could do was look at it with an impersonal fascination sometimes.
"I'm here to bail someone out." She told the young, black woman at the counter once she got inside. She looked just a fed up as Jennifer felt and she hoped she wouldn't give her a hard time.
"You using a bail bondsman?"
"No, do you take card?" Jennifer slammed her purse down on the counter, pulling out the card Jax had given her a few weeks ago. Since they had decided to move in together and he had effectively ended her main source of income, he had opened up a joint account with her that he transferred money into on a regular basis. She didn't know what the balance was, as she had never bothered to check, but she hoped it would go through for his sake.
Jennifer watched impatiently as the girl took her sweet time running everything in her system, and she was slightly surprised when she didn't tell her the card had declined. She handed her over some paperwork to sign to bail him out, which Jen signed without any thought. She couldn't even count how many people she had bailed out over her lifetime, and she hardly ever considered the ramifications of it.
After a moment, a young man came back and beckoned her to the holding cells, where she tried to keep up her pace with him although he was walking obnoxiously fast and she was slower than molasses these days. When she finally made her way back, she was struck by the scene in front of her. Jax sat in one small cell, looking down at his hands, his kutte still on his back. Jennifer noted that his face wasn't beat up at all, although his hands were red and bloody still. Two cells over stood her estranged husband, who was pacing his room like a caged animal, and she could tell he had taken a beating. Jennifer had seen him beat up plenty of times from his time in the ring, but she had never once seen him lose a personal fight. It was depressing how completely he had fallen from grace chasing his high. She wanted to feel bad for him, but she couldn't. Right now, all she wanted to do was get Jax home and pray to whatever God was left that still listened to her bullshit that this assault charge didn't revoke his bail from the gun charges.
Jeremy locked eyes with her, and she felt fearful. She hated how he still had the ability to shake up her world and turn her emotions inside out. As the cop let Jax out of his cell, he strode towards her purposefully, not missing the look on her face as she stared back at the man he had just beat the living shit out of. He despised the fact that Jen, the strongest girl he knew, was still scared of some waste of fucking life like Jeremy Connelly. Jax put his arm around her, leading her down the hall back out to freedom, but not before turning his head to stare him down. He had won. And even if he hadn't, he would never back down. Jax was looking forward to pushing him out of the picture completely, and if he had his way, he'd gladly stamp him out of existence for good.