Hello again my wonderful readers! As promised, the next chapter has come out early (on account of me being on vacation this coming Sunday and away from anywhere that would have internet access). I'd originally said I wanted it to come out on Wednesday, but it refused to leave my mind and transfer to paper until Thursday.
S/O to ChiVall, who guessed right.
A special thanks to my amazing beta Lissa, who helped my get over my minor writer's block and made this chapter possible as much as (and possible more than) I did.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Boo for me.
WARNING (*READ THIS BEFORE THE CHAPTER*): This chapter is iffy for me, and reveals quite a big plot twist if you realize what's happening. It may have triggers for some people, so if you want to skip this chapter I will do a quick re-cap in the A/N of the next chapter.
TRIGGERS: mentions of both minor and serious psychological diseases, sexual abuse/implied rape, character death, and violence.
Gajeel grunted when he fell onto the bed and she winced. She hadn't meant to let him fall so forcefully, but he was heavy and she could only help carry him so far.
"Is he okay like that?" The boy who'd 'helped' them get to Porlyuscia's- Romeo, his name was- looked up at her doubtfully.
She turned her head and stared at how Gajeel had landed. He was lying on his back, face resting on the edge of the pillow, with three of his limbs on the bed. "Hold on." After prodding his head so it was on top of the pillow and twisting one of his arms so it was bent the right way, she nodded happily. "That should be fine."
"I dunno," Romeo said apprehensively. "He still looks uncomfortable."
"I'm sure he'll get over it." She shrugged and gestured towards the door. "Well, I'm sure you've other people to dupe and drug."
"Not until four o'clock this afternoon." He smiled happily and waved. "Well, until next time!" And with that, he left.
"I worry about that child," she muttered to herself. Shrugging, she looked over Gajeel one more time and wondered whether or not to try and lift his other leg onto the bed. To lift, or not to lift- that was the question.
Eventually she decided to leave him as he was. He was sleeping peacefully thanks to the shot Porlyuscia had given him (a last resort after he'd accidentally smashed a cabinet trying to get away from 'the pink-haired menace'). She'd said it would keep him out for a couple of hours and help him recuperate.
Another thing they didn't have to worry about was Gajeel's next shift at the garage. He'd had the morning shift again; they would have been there until late afternoon, at which point they would have walked straight to the bar (which was already fixed). But Leo had called Porlyuscia and asked her to tell Gajeel that there had been a family emergency, and that the shop would be closed for the day. How Leo had known to call Porlyuscia she wasn't sure, but she supposed it might have made sense. They didn't have a phone here, and Gajeel needed some sort of way to communicate with his bosses. Maybe Romeo ran messages between them.
A meow sounded from her feet and she looked down to see Lily winding himself around her ankles. "There you are, sweetie. Wondered where you'd gone off to." He didn't answer, but instead purred and pawed at her boots. She picked him up without hesitation and scratched behind his ears. The purring increased and she laughed softly. A wave of fondness washed over her, triggering a twinge of surprise, followed by doubt.
She'd only been here a few days, if that. Gajeel had taken her in out of pity, nothing else. He could kick her out just as easily- she didn't think he'd do that, especially now that she was starting to pull her own weight, but that wasn't the point. They'd been so preoccupied with the present, so caught up in each day as it happened; she because it overwhelmed her most of the time, and he because, well, that was the way Gajeel was. Neither of them had contemplated the future, or what it held for them.
Would they just continue on as they had been doing? It was possible, she supposed. She had a part-time job at the garage, and could probably work something similar out at the bar and wrestling ring. With two incomes (or one-and-a-half, she supposed it technically was) they would probably be able to afford more. They could stock up a bit on food, buy a blanket that didn't have any holes, maybe even splurge a bit and buy a chair. It could work, because they would make it work. And maybe somewhere down the line, she and Gajeel could also… work. She liked him, she assumed he liked her, Lily liked both of them and they liked him. They could be a family.
But there was also problems with that. Gajeel's bosses couldn't pay her under the table forever. And if she wanted to get a real job and receive a valid paycheck from them she and Gajeel would need to figure some things out. Her real name, if she had any family, her past… anything. For that, they might have to report her to missing persons or the police or… whoever handled that sort of thing. That in turn might cause problems. What if she had debt? What if the mafia was looking for her? What if she was divorced and owned thirty-seven birds?
One part of her wanted to know, while another (larger) part wanted to push it all away and just revel in the moment. She knew she couldn't do that forever, knew it wasn't practical, but she didn't care. She didn't want to care.
She had a new life, and in all reality she loved it. She loved the hectic schedule she'd adopted such a short time ago, despite the stress of working three jobs (two of which were apparently fraught with danger). The house, though it was a little run-down, she also loved. Her new wardrobe she especially loved, and felt that it really defined the new her. Lily she loved, and she proved just that by giving him eskimo kisses. And Gajeel… well, she wasn't sure she loved him just yet, but she was sure if they kept up she would eventually.
But so many things could go wrong, and so quickly. She and Gajeel could have a falling-out, someone from her past could track her down, she could lose her memory again.
Lily meowed mournfully, as if sensing her negative thoughts. "Sorry Lil," She smiled down at him, trying to lighten the mood. "Bad vibes, I know."
Trying to distract herself, she recalled what Porlyuscia had said about her clothes. She could use a good scrubbing and a new shirt. She didn't want to leave Gajeel for too long though- she didn't know how long the meds would last. But she could stand a change of clothes.
Shucking off her jacket and shirt, she quickly grabbed one of the new ones out of the bag and pulled it on. It was long enough to cover her underwear, so she didn't bother with shorts.
When she'd pulled the shirt out of the bag, it had fallen over. When she finished putting the shirt on, she noticed it. A corner of one of the papers was sticking out, and the memories rushed back to her. Finding the bag with the papers inside. Putting the papers in the box. Seeing that some of the papers had stuck to the inside of her bag. The strange names.
After a moment of contemplation and checking to make sure Gajeel was still out cold, she decided to look at the papers more closely. Ethically she knew she shouldn't- they were Porlyuscia's and as such should be returned to her as soon as possible- and morally she knew it was wrong- reading these papers could be an invasion of privacy, especially if they were diary entries or something- but her curiosity was stronger than her conscious. Besides, she needed another distraction from the earlier, depressing thoughts she'd had. They still resided in the back of her mind, a taunting mantra of what if, what if, that constantly sought to drown her.
Digging through the bag until she'd grabbed all the papers, she sat on the ground and rifled through the names once more. Lily meowed at her disapprovingly from the bed.
E. Scarlet
B. Slow
C. Alberona
G. Clive
W. Marvell
The names were still just as strange as she remembered, if not even more bizarre now that she had a chance to really mull them over. They weren't common names. She didn't think she'd ever heard anything even remotely like them.
She shouldn't do this. It was wrong, so wrong. But she didn't want to go back to the dark place where the what if's never ended. So she was going to read these, for lack of a better pastime, until Gajeel woke up. And then after he woke up, she would put them away and never look at them again. She would return them to Porlyuscia and then go back to her normal life. But for now…. She picked on at random and started reading.
Name: Bickon Slow
Nickname(s): Bickslow
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Assigned Orderly: Evergreen Strauss
Reason for Admission: Mental Breakdown after death of wife (see: Milla Slow for references) and five children.
Diagnosis: Mild schizophrenia, delusions, impaired impulse control, antisocial personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, projective dissociative identity disorder, projective attachment disorder.
Other Notes: Patient keeps five dolls and has named them after his stillborn children- Pappa, Pippi, Puppu, Peppe, and Poppo. Patient appears to be extremely fond and protective of dolls. Patient also uses the dolls as weapons against other patients.
Classification: Sporadically violent [yellow]
The wife, this Milla Slow, had died during childbirth then. It wasn't all that surprising considering the amount of children housed in her belly at the time, but it was depressing all the same. She supposed it could drive anyone to being committed, especially with the death of all the children as well.
She stopped to ponder on how she felt. Sad, yes, but not too much so. It was just the sort of brief sadness that people experienced and brushed off during their everyday life. If there was roadkill on the road, or a burglary on the news- the sort of sadness that came from those kind of events. It was a sadness that one acknowledged more than felt, she guess. Unsure how she felt about that, she continued reading.
Name: Cana Alberona
Nicknames(s): Cana Clive
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Assigned Orderly: Bisca Connell
Reason for Admission: Mental Breakdown after death of mother (see: Cornelia Alberona for references).
Diagnosis: Depression, binge drinking disorder, projective attachment disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder.
Other Notes: Patient has attached herself to Gildarts Clive (see: Gildarts Clive for references) as his long-lost daughter. Attachment is reciprocated. Patient allegedly had sexual relations with Macao Conbolt (see: Macao Conbolt for references), her former orderly. Patient was reassigned a new orderly (see above). Allegations remain uncertain.
Classification: Non-violent
Whoever this girl was didn't seem to have it too bad. Her mother had died, which was certainly depressing, but she seemed to have created a new makeshift family for herself. Plus, she didn't have as many illnesses as the last patient. That was a positive thing.
She didn't know how to feel while reading these papers, or if she was looking for positive things to find, but decided to roll with whatever she felt or thought. There weren't any rules that she was aware of that applied when reading probably-classified papers that were sort-of-but-not-purposely stolen. Besides, she was just reading these to pass the time and stave off her own depressions and anxieties. So really, she was kind of like the people she was reading about.
But that was depressing, too.
It was time to move on to the next paper.
Name: Gildarts Clive
Nickname(s): None
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Assigned Orderly: Alzack Connell
Reason for Admission: Mental Breakdown after kidnapping and presumed death of daughter and divorce of wife.
Diagnosis: Depression, projective attachment disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, impaired impulse control.
Other Notes: Patient has attached himself to Cana Alberona (see: Cana Alberona for references) as her long-lost father. Attachment is reciprocated. Patient verbally and physically assaulted Macao Conbolt (see: Macao Conbolt for references) after hearing allegations of sexual relations between the aforementioned orderly and Cana Alberona. Allegations remain uncertain. Patient is the reason for the term "going Gildarts," (see: term: going Gildarts for references) often used by orderlies to warn others of impending patient violence.
Classification: Sporadically violent [red]
That made her feel better. The girl's delusions- Cana, as she looked back to double-check- were actually shared with this man's- Gildarts. So they thought they were each other's long-lost family. She thought that was sweet. She also thought it was justified and very fatherly for Gildarts to beat up the scumbag that allegedly had sex with his daughter. Macao- that sounded like a scumbag name. Whoever he was, he should be ashamed. A small part of her hoped Gildarts had gotten a few good punches in.
Violent thoughts- not good. Time to move on.
Name: Wendy Marvell
Nickname(s): None
Gender: Female
Age: 12
Assigned Orderly: Wakaba Mine
Reason for Admission: Patient is Self-Admitted.
Diagnosis: projective attachment disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder
Other Notes: Patient was abandoned by her family after birth and lived in an orphanage from birth through age eleven. Patient was self-admitted after seeing Erza Scarlet (see: Erza Scarlet for references) and Jellal Fernandes (see: Jellal Fernandes for references) out of hospital (see: Accident Report 20910 for references). Patient has attached herself to Erza Scarlet and Jellal Fernandes as their long-lost daughter, and refers to them respectively as 'Mama' and 'Papa.' Attachment is partially reciprocated. Patient also owns an animal (see: Accident Report 22360 for references): female Exceed, named Carla. It is suspected that the patient had a pre-admittance mental breakdown. Suspicions remain unproven.
Classification: Non-violent
It seemed that everyone was forming makeshift families for themselves in this place. After a quick check, she realized that the last paper she held was for the woman referenced. Intrigued, she quickly read it.
Name: Erza Scarlet
Nickname(s): Titania
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Assigned Orderly: Evergreen Strauss
Reason for Admission: Mental Breakdown after being kidnapped and sexually molested as a child.
Diagnosis: Sporadic depression, delusions, projective attachment disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, intermittent mild binge eating disorder and addiction disorder in relation to strawberry cake (classified as less dangerous than the aforementioned diseases).
Other Notes: Patient has attached herself to Jellal Fernandes (see: Jellal Fernandes for references) as long-lost childhood friends. Attachment is partially reciprocated. Patient believes it was Jellal Fernandes who kidnapped and sexually molested her as a child, holding her captive in the 'Tower of Heaven,' later identified as Jellal Fernandes' home (see: Accident Report 20910 for references). Patient is currently in a relationship with Jellal Fernandes (relationship classification remains unclear), only permitted due to the related psychological and physical improvements (see: Accident Report 20911 for references). Patient accepts the projective attachments given to her by Wendy Marvell (see: Wendy Marvell for references). Patient has been known to react violently towards orderlies executing negative behaviors towards other patients.
Classification: Sporadically violent [red]
She… wasn't sure how to feel about this one. One part of her was happy that this Erza had also made herself a new family, especially since the paper reported that it had positive effects on her. But another part of her was worried about the family connections she'd chosen to make. The girl- Wendy- seemed a safe enough bet. After all, it seemed that Wendy had attached herself to Erza first, not vice-versa.
But the man- Jellal Fernandes- she wasn't sure she trusted. It was obvious he worked there, though she wasn't sure what his official position was. It was also obvious that they'd had a more-than-professional relationship before the 'Accident Report 20911' was filed. The fact that she'd apparently been to his house was evidence enough for that. And she knew that Erza had been to Jellal's house because there was a report on that very event that was chronologically ordered before the 'Accident Report 20911.' It wasn't very hard to piece everything together, and she had to admit that she disapproved.
Surprise coursed through her as she realized that she'd actually become interested in the details and events of these peoples' lives. As if they were more than complete strangers to her! It was completely ludicrous, and she blamed her apparently-good grabbing skills. If she'd grabbed a bunch of papers whose owners had no relation to each other, she might have been less invested. But of course she hadn't, of course she'd managed to pick the papers whose owners all seemed to be related to each other in some way. Such was her luck.
She heard a groan behind her, and turned just in time to see Gajeel start to squirm. Quickly, she shoved the papers underneath his bed and hurried to attend him. She needed to check his pulse, temperature, pupil dilation, breathing rate… A list of the things Porlyuscia had told her about ran through her mind.
As she fretted and fussed over a quickly-waking Gajeel, the papers shifted in the soft undercurrents of air. They eventually settled next to a small crate, barely noticeable, near the head of the bedframe.
And for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, the papers were temporarily forgotten.
And that's the end of this chapter! Like I said, it may contain triggers for some people. I'll do a quick re-cap in the A/N of Chapter 13 for those of you who skipped this chapter.
Review, review, REVIEW and you will get chocolate lava cake!
Some things for this chapter:
#1. Yes, it was technically wrong for Levy to read those papers. She shouldn't have done it, and the only reason she did was to distract herself. This in no way excuses her behavior. I am not endorsing the act of stealing and/or reading classified papers.
#2. I'm not sure how much you readers have pieced together so far. But since some of you may be confused (or angry, which is also justifiable) I'll spell it out: the people in the papers (Wendy, Erza, Cana, Bickslow, and Gildarts) are currently housed in a mental hospital. The mental hospital is Fairy Tail. This is a plot twist, I know. Review, and tell me what you think of this development! (Don't worry, I'll understand if the review is just you ranting about how wrong it is.)
#3. REIVEW! I realize this may be upsetting for some people, and it's understandable. The things I'm doing to the characters is very depressing, and will continue to be depressing for some. But I promise, there is a silver lining! Things will eventually look up! Just stick with me!