-1"Jackie?"

"Jackie,"

Patrick laid down the rest of his breakfast sandwich, his stomach was turning over on its self and he didn't feel like he could eat, hell he felt a drink. A nice tall vodka and tonic to be exact. That would be perfect to calm his nerves, then again it wasn't even noon yet would that make him an alcoholic? Can you drink before noon and not be one? What if you really needed a drink? Does needing to have a drink mean you have a problem. These were the thoughts that floated into Patrick poor troubled head.

"Patrick"

"Oh sorry I was thinking"

"about,"

"vodka"

What use would it be to lie to Pete. And better yet what use would it be to stop now, he already started so he may as well finish.

"ya Jackie" Patrick said in a voice no louder then a whisper.

"that whore? She's the reason you've been so messed up,"

"ya…I loved her"

"she's a disgusting skank"

"and I loved a disgusting skank who didn't love me"

Pete was quiet. He knew he was hurting bad from this. The wounds were still fresh even though they broke up almost a year ago. Patrick didn't have to tell Pete he loved her. Pete knew better then any one how much he loved her. He was with him on days were Patrick was in such emotional pain he couldn't get out of bed for any thing but the bath room. He was there when Patrick cried so hard he got physically ill. Pete knew she ripped his heart out with her own hand. He knew Patrick blamed him self for her leaving he knew Patrick hated him self. But what he didn't know was that she still head Patrick's beating heart.

Patrick had met Jackie at a show. Which was out of the ordinary seeing how he wasn't that kind of guy. Pete didn't like her from the start. He knew her type. She was the kind of girl who would play with guys, string them along until she got board. Patrick was the type of guy who could see the good in every one (thing, she was a thing). What Jackie did to Patrick was inhuman. Patrick had always been shy and had low self esteem but Jackie had made all that worse. At first Jackie wouldn't date Patrick she just used him when ever she needed some thing.

Then one day she announced to every one (including Patrick) that they were an item. After that the cheating began. In some cases the man she fucked (in Patrick's bed) would be leaving and bump into Patrick in the hallway. She would humiliate Patrick degrade him in public flirt with other guys in front of him, and spent so much of his money Pete was worried he would go bankrupt. One of her favorite topics was Patrick's weight (which steadily climbed up after meting her). She would make jokes, grab his stomach, lift his shirt up, and compare Patrick's naturally huskier build to Pete's slim athletic body. She was terrible she was rude and gorse and had a personality as ugly as they came. When she left Pete was ecstatic. He hid his happiness from Patrick who slipped into a deeper depression then he was in when he was with her. He was a mess but Pete cleaned it up. It was his job as his best friend. And he had to keep his promise to Patrick's father that he would watch out for him and take care of him. He thought he did a good job cleaning up, but in all reality him merely swept the mess under the rug.

They sat in silence for a while neither of them really knew where to go from here. Pete knew calling her names would only make Patrick feel worse.

"I hated you"

"why"

Pete wasn't surprised, he figured this would happen. She kissed him, the girl Patrick was unfortunate enough to fall in love with kissed him. Was it his fault, of course not, did Patrick blame him, of course he did.

"I didn't I guess, but I wanted to"

"I know… what happened that night"

"I don't know, I screamed at her, I guess I kind of lost it. She told me she did it because you are better looking then me, had more talent were better in bed"

"we never-"

"I know, but she had me so convinced, any way she packed her bags and told me to call her when I lost 50 pounds and got some plastic surgery"

"I'm really sorry Patrick, you don't deserve to be treated like that…no one dose but especially not you. And none of those things she said are true."

By now Patrick had tears in his eyes

"are you ok"

"I saw her again" Patrick said so fast Pete almost couldn't believe his own ears.

"when"

"few weeks maybe a month ago"

By now Patrick was holding his head in his hands and tears were rolling off his cheeks.

"why"

Pete's mouth was growing dryer by the second and suddenly he too was contemplating a drink.

"she said she was sorry for every thing and wanted to see me"

"and"

"we had sex" Patrick gasped between sobs

"why"

"I don't know, we just did and for a few minuets I though we were ok but"

"but what" Pete was out raged how dare this tramp do these things to his best friend

"she said-"

" are you o-"

"she said I needed to leave and when I asked why she said , I had to go before she through up because looking at me made her physically ill. I said I though she changed and she said she thought I would have finally gotten my 'fat ass on a diet' and that she WOULD NOT be with some one as short fat and ugly as me. And she laughed. And I started to cry"

"is that it?"

"no, I asked her why she called me and she said she wanted to see if I would really come over, she wanted to see how pathetic I was and she wanted to see how much more weight I had put on. Then she laughed and said if I looked more like you we might have a chance"

"Patrick that's horrible"

Pete was now pouring them both a shot, it was early and they were gonna both need it. Pete had now decided that they wouldn't be going to the recording studio today he would call Brendan and the guys and tell them but not right now. Right now Patrick needed him and a drink.

"You know I never thought about killing my self more then I did that night"

"what stopped you"

"I don't know, I think I didn't want to give her that satisfaction"

Patrick swallowed down his drink, before he broke down. Pete slid closer to him, put his arm around Patrick pulled him into his lap.

Pete's shirt was wet form Patrick's tears. He had been crying for about five minuets. Patrick was beginning to calm down, his breathing was becoming more controlled and then he stopped.

"I'm probably hurting you"

"your fine"

"I'm to heavy to sit on you"

"I said your fine" Pete said this time much more sternly as he wrapped his other arm around Patrick. His skin felt hot to the touch.

"am I the dumbest person in the world"

"no you made a bad choice granted it was a very bad choice, but it doesn't make you stupid your still a kid you have a lot to learn"

"ya"

"I tried to kill my self, I think I'm more qualified for the stupidest person in the world"

"stupidest?"

"shut up, its not your fault"

"then why do I feel like it is"

"because thats what she wants you to think, and every thing she said was a lie. She wanted to see you hurt Patrick"

"what she said wasn't untrue"

"ya it was"

Patrick was silent for a while, Pete was running his hand up and down his back. His mother used to do it to him when he was little and up set, it always relaxed him. He was hopping that it was having the same results on Patrick.

"I love you Pete"

Pete jumped at these words he was sure Patrick had fallen asleep.

"I love you too."

Then he was quiet again. After another half hour Pete was completely sure Patrick had fallen asleep. He slid out from under him being extra careful not to wake him. He covered him up and kissed him on the head. He walked to the table and grabbed his phone. He needed to call the Panic! guys and tell then what's going on.

"Pete?"

"hey Ryan"

"what the hell we've been sitting here ready for hours what gives"

"well me and trick were gonna mess with you and show up like 3 hours late-"

"well you sure are late"

"some stuff came up and were not gonna make it"

The sound of Pete's voice scared Ryan.

"what's wrong"

"its Patrick an-"

"oh god Pete what happened"

"don't interrupt me! He's ok, well not really"

"what do you mean"

"he's just not ok right now, but he'll be ok, right now he just needs me ok."

"ya, tell him we all love him…even if he made us get up before the crack of dawn."

"ok I got to go"

"buy"

-click-

Pete walked back into the living room and flicked on the TV. Patrick was a sound sleeper, and he had exhausted his self emotionally. He would probably sleep the rest of the after noon. Pete once again picked up his phone. He thought about calling Jackie, it wouldn't be to hard to track her number down. But then what would he say. Well, scratch that he knew what he would say but how would she react there was a chance she might decide to toy with Patrick again. There was also a chance he might get on a plane and kill her.

He hated Jackie more then any thing. Pete had never though of him self as violent or even having a temper. Patrick had a shorter fuse then he did. But after Jackie had kissed him he had never been more sure that he could kill some one. He wanted to wrap his hand around her neck and squeeze until she was dead. He would have done it to. And that's what scarred him. Pete thought he knew what anger was, he would get furious when Ashley accused him of things he didn't do, and once when he was 15 his little sister snuck into his room and broke his bass guitar. At those times he thought that he could kill or at lest hurt some one, (and he did hit his sister). But with Jackie, he knew he could kill her with out a second thought and not even feel bad about it. Pete looked at his phone once more before dialing it.