"This ain't a very cheerful place, puddin'," commented Harley, as she looked around at the dark, ugly surroundings of the Ace Chemicals Plant, the only light coming from the bubbling green chemicals in the vats surrounding them.

"Oh, it's got a certain industrial charm!" chuckled Joker. "Plus it's my birthplace, so it's the happiest place on earth! Eat your heart out, Disneyland!"

"Does seem like the kinda place the Bat would hang out, though," agreed Harley. "So let's get searching."

Joker cleared his throat as they climbed the stairs onto the platforms above the vats of chemicals. "So let me get this straight, pooh. The deal is, we lock up Batsy, and I come back with you?"

"That's what Tetchy said," said Harley, nodding. "He says only one of you can inhabit the body, so if you want that to be you, you gotta lock Batsy up in your place."

"So Batsy will be…gone," said Joker, slowly. "Banished to that tiny corner of my mind where Bruce kept me, locked up in a little box forever."

"Yep," agreed Harley. "Good riddance, if you ask me."

"Yeah," said Joker, slowly. "See, the thing is, pooh…I mean, I'm really, really grateful for you coming to get me and all, and I wouldn't have wanted to stay locked up in that cell for another second, but…I'm just not sure how great it'll be to be back out there in Gotham if…there's no Batsy out there too."

"What do you mean?" asked Harley, turning to look at him and frowning. "There'll still be plenty to do – lots of fun crimes to commit…"

"But without Bats, crime has no punchline," said Joker. "I mean, what's it been like without him in Gotham since he faked his death? Suicidally boring, I bet."

"Well…there's a new vigilante on the scene," said Harley. "Some guy who frightens criminals to death in a bat costume…"

"An impostor, pooh," sighed Joker. "Some pale pretender to Batsy's throne. It just wouldn't be the same."

"But it's the only way for you to come back, puddin'," said Harley. "And you can't stay locked up in here forever – you said yourself it was a fate worth than death."

"Yeah, but I just don't see that there's much for me out there without Batsy," he sighed.

"What about me?" asked Harley. "We'll be together. We can try for a baby again. Surely that's more important than Batsy? I mean, you do love me, right?"

"Sure I do, kid," he said. "But there's more to life than love, isn't there?"

"Not for me, puddin'," murmured Harley.

He sighed heavily. "Look, forget it. Let's just focus on finding Bats. If locking him up forever is the only way for me to get back, I guess it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. For my audience, y'know, the people of Gotham. They must have been missing me. And they need someone to cheer 'em up and put some smiles on their faces since Batsy went away."

Harley nodded, beginning to cry again. "Hey, why the tears?" he asked.

"Because I told Bruce we'd both get outta here because our love would conquer all," she whispered. "But you don't even wanna leave without Bats. It ain't me you love. I'm not sure it ever was."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You think your life won't be worthwhile without him, even with me and a baby," she whispered. "Nobody who loved me would think that. If you really loved me, I would be enough for you."

She turned to face him. "Do you want me to go?" she asked. "Leave you here like this, trapped in Batsy's mind? Then at least you'll be together."

"Harley, stop it," he retorted. "Don't be like this. I didn't mean it like that, I'm just…"

"Just what?" she demanded.

"I'm…scared," he retorted.

"Scared?" she repeated. "You ain't ever been scared of anything, Mr. J."

"I know," he snapped. "That's why it's so weird for me. But when I was in Brucie's mind, and Crane shot me up with some fear gas, for the first time in my life…I was afraid of stuff. Afraid of being forgotten, of you going off with someone else, of…the emptiness of my life without the one person who gave me my purpose all those years ago, in this factory."

He tilted her chin up. "Now I ain't saying that purpose can't be changed," he murmured. "But change is scary. It always has been. Maybe starting here and now, I can live a life without my need for Bats…or maybe I can't. Maybe I'll fail. I'm scared of…giving up my dependency on him. I'm scared that I won't be the Joker without him."

"You will be," whispered Harley, reassuringly. "Because you'll always have your Harley Quinn. And the Joker needs his Harley Quinn. Doesn't he?"

He smiled. "Now more than ever, kid," he murmured, kissing her.

"If you taught me one thing, puddin', it's that you can be anything you want to be," said Harley. "You can forge a new identity for yourself, and you don't need to depend on anyone to do that. I made myself into Harley Quinn for you. Can't you make yourself into a different kinda Joker for me?"

He studied her. "I'll try," he said at last, nodding. "You wanna know why?"

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I love you, kiddo," he said, kissing her again.

"Prove it," growled a voice from the shadows. Batman suddenly landed in front of them, his usual scowl on his face. "Prove you love her," he said. "Prove that everything you say isn't just a joke. Prove you can be that selfless. Because I'm betting my life that you can't."

There was a rumble from the shadows, and then a cell landed on the platform in front of them. Batman ripped open the door and then entered. "Lock me in," he said, gesturing to the door. "Lock me in and throw me down into that vat of acid that created you. Because that's what you'll have to do to get out of here. You'll have to turn me into the Joker. As long as I'm in your head, reminding you of what you lost, then you'll never have any peace. You'll be like me – the desire for violence will always be there. The desire to fight me, like in the good old days. The only way to stop that is to kill me, to turn me into you, so you'll have no one left to fight anymore. You'll have to destroy the Batman."

Joker forced a smile. "You think I can't do that?" he chuckled. "You think I ain't waited my entire life to kill you? I can't imagine anything more fun, turning you into me, buddy!"

"Then do it," said Batman. "And all the madness in your head, the madness that I caused, will die with me. It'll just be you, alone with your thoughts, alone with your memories and regrets again, like in that cell."

"You won't be alone, puddin'," said Harley, firmly. "You'll be with me. The madness and fun won't end – we'll spread it together. We'll spread it to the people of Gotham, and the world, and our child. We'll create a world where everybody is always laughing."

"A world without Batman," murmured Joker.

"We don't need him, puddin'," said Harley. "You don't need him."

He turned to look at her. "Yeah…I do," he whispered.

"More than me?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"Look…I'm sorry, kid," he stammered. "But I can't make this choice. I can't do this. Destroying Batman…it would be like losing a piece of me."

"You can't sacrifice a piece of yourself for our love?" murmured Harley. "After I've sacrificed everything for it?"

"Let me tell you what my life is like, Joker," said Batman. "I sit in a cave all day. I have no one to fight. I'm trapped, trapped as if I was already locked up in a cell. It's a fate worse than death."

"But puddin's life won't be like that!" cried Harley. "He has love! We'll have each other! We won't be alone or trapped, not ever again! And we can keep fighting, if that's what he wants – there'll be other freaks to challenge him! There's nothing we won't be able to do, because we'll be together! You just have to believe that, puddin'," she whispered. "You have to believe that you can be better than Batsy!"

He chuckled. "Sounds crazy when you think about it, Harl."

"And that's how you know it's true," she murmured. "Please, puddin'. Do it. Lock him up, and we can go back together. And we'll be happy and smiling all the time. I promise."

Joker approached the cell with Batman inside, locking eyes with his nemesis. "I'm sorry, buddy," he whispered. "I wish there was some other way."

And he slowly began closing the door…