Shingen Takeda 1521- Expect a flashback and an actual fight (not the Iruka/Kakashi pawnage) in a chapter or two with all the info.
Narutos vixen- It was his actions more so than his appearance. I believe Hinata can see past his physical; after all, she fell for who he was in the manga, not because he was handsome.
I Spy! The First Exams!
Teams 7 and 9 raced through the Academy, hoping to get to the meeting room in time. They only had two minutes to reach the room. They reached the room with 30 seconds to spare. Soon the door behind them faded, trapping them in and barring anyone from entering. The six Genin turned around and were greeted by an awesome sight.
'W-W-Wow!' thought Naruto.
Hundreds of Genin sat in the large auditorium. And they were all looking at Team 7 and 9. A girl ran up to them. "Naruto! Hi!" she cheerfully said. Naruto smiled at the girl. She was Yamanaka Ino, an old flame of his. They had a very short, yet very passionate, romance last summer that ended on friendly terms. They still remained friends, but since graduating from the Academy, they hadn't had much time to talk.
"Hey, Ino. Long time, no see!" Naruto replied.
"GET AWAY FROM NARUTO-KUN, INO-BUTA!!!" Everyone turned and saw Sakura. If looks could kill, Ino would have died years ago. Naruto sighed when he saw her. The Kitsune had hoped that she wouldn't participate in the Exam.
"Why if isn't Sakura? I see you could still build a city on that forehead of yours," Ino replied.
Lee got in between the girls and walked to Sakura. He flashed her a smile that would have made Gai proud and said, "Hi. My name is Rock Lee. What's you—GYACK!!!"
Sakura slapped him out of the way and spat, "MOVE FREAK!!! NOW WHAT DID YOU SAY BITCH?!?!?!"
"Oi! Shut up already." Two boys walked over to Naruto. He recognized them as Akimichi Choji and Nara Shikamaru.
"So even you idiots get to take the exam," Naruto said, trying his hardest to look cool.
"You're a fine one to talk Naruto," Shikamaru slowly replied.
"YAHOO!! I finally found you Naruto!" Everyone turned to see two boys walking towards them. It was Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino. "I heard you were takin' the exam and I had to see if it was true! I hope you're ready to lose!" Kiba shouted. Shino merely stood next to Kiba; no words escaped his mouth.
"Whatever mutt!" Naruto shouted back [1].
"Pft, you seem really confident Kiba. I hope you can back it up," Sasuke said.
"I've been doin' a lot of trainin' and I don't plan to lose to any of you!" Kiba shouted.
"Well, Sasuke may lose to you, but I have no intentions of losing to a two-bit ninja like you." Team 6 (Satsu, Kiokure, and Haku) walked over to the group. Sasuke tensed up immediately [2] and Kiba growled at the blonde boy's insults.
"I see you're still jealous of me. Maybe the truth is you want me and you know I'm too good for you?" Sasuke quipped.
"So you are gay? Are you a giver or a taker?" Satsu quipped back.
"Hey, Naruto! I can't believe I'm taking this exam! I-I-I-I—" Kiokure stammered.
Naruto rolled his eyes and told his best friend, "Kiokure-kun, grow some damn balls!" Haku walked over to Hinata and put her arms around her.
The ice mistress shot Naruto an evil look [3] before saying, "How are you holding up Hina?"
Hinata plastered on as genuine a smile as she could muster before saying, "I'm alright, Haku-chan." Haku gave her a disbelieving look. "Honestly, I am. I know what I have to do now," Hinata said.
Hey Kit, who are these kids?
'The blonde girl is Yamanaka Ino. She's a bit vain but a pretty cool person. Pinky over there is Haruno Sakura. She's as short-tempered and fickle as she is smart. The pineapple head is Nara Shikamaru. He's a lazy bum but works when he needs to.
'The fatass is Akimichi Choji. He's a sweet guy with a temper. The guy with the puppy is Inuzuka Kiba. He's an ok guy but don't leave your girlfriend around him [4]. The serial killer-esque guy in the shades is Aburame Shino. He…he…well, now that I think of it, he never talks.
'The purple-wearing queen is Toppyoushimonai Satsu. He's such a vain bastard, more so than Sasuke. The guy in grey who's shaking like a stripper is Masurao Kiokure. He may not look like much, but I'm actually afraid to fight him [5]. And you know Haku,' Naruto thought.
A man with grey hair and brown eyes covered by glasses walked over to them. He wore a purple, high-collared, sleeveless shirt; a white, short-sleeved shirt underneath; and purple pants. "Hey, you guys shouldn't make so much noise. You guys are just rookies fresh out of the Academy, right?" he asked.
Sasuke glared at him and asked, "Who do you think you are, lecturing us?"
The man pushed his glasses up and replied, "My name is Yakushi Kabuto. But don't worry about that; you should look behind you." The 12 Genin did and were greeted with angry glares from not some, but all of their fellow Genin.
"Everyone is nervous about the exams," said Kabuto. "You guys should relax and stop causing a scene; the Chuunin Exams aren't a picnic, you know." Kabuto looked at the pissed expressions on the rookies' faces and said, "Hey, you guys want some dirt on the other Genin? I have ninja info cards on all the Genin participating."
"Tell me about Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro of Sunagakure no Sato," Sasuke said.
Kabuto smirked and replied, "Ooooh, you know their names. That makes it easier." He pulled out a large stack of cards and pulled three off of the top. Kabuto then infused each card with chakra and information appeared on them.
Kit, do you smell what I smell?
'Yeah…snake oil,' thought Naruto.
"Ok, Kankuro; age 15; D-Rank missions completed: 0; C-Rank: 5; B-Rank: 5; A-Rank: 17; S-Rank: 0. Temari; age 16; D-Rank missions completed: 0; C-Rank: 5; B-Rank: 6; A-Rank: 10; S-Rank: 0. Gaara; age 13; D-Rank missions completed: 0; C-Rank: 9; B-Rank: 8; A-Rank: 14; S-Rank: 3. Their sensei is just known as Baki; they're rookies like you guys and very strong in Ninjutsu but everything else isn't impressive," Kabuto said.
Sasuke smirked and said, "Nothing to worry about." Everyone (except Satsu and Haku) looked at Sasuke like he was insane. I mean, did you hear how many A-Rank missions this kid has done?!
"One more thing," Kabuto said. Everyone gave him their attention; they could feel his anxiety. "Gaara has returned from all of his missions without a scratch." Now even Satsu and Haku were a bit nervous. No ninja, not even the Yondaime Hokage, can say they came back from every mission injury free.
Noticing their anxiety, Kabuto decided to change the subject. "Konoha, Suna, Ame, Kusa, Taki, Oto, Kumo, Yuki…each of these villages have sent their best Genin here to take part in the exam. You guys are obviously some of the best our village has to offer."
Kakashi leaned against the wall outside of the meeting room. He was reading Icha Icha Paradaisu; he had to pass the time somehow. "So what chapter are you up to?"
Kakashi looked up from his book to see Obito standing on the ceiling, reading the same book. A lecherous smile spread across Kakashi's masked face. "Hehehe, Aiyoku and Aijin are about to do it," Kakashi said.
"Oh really? Well, I'm up to the part where Aijin, Aiyoku, and Sayoko are locked in a cabin and drunk. Can you say foooouuuurrrrsoooommmmeeee?" Obito said with a perverted chuckle. Suddenly, a fist hit Kakashi and Obito in their balls. Kakashi collapsed on the floor, and Obito fell on top of him.
"You two are such pervs!" Rin shouted.
"Ughhhh…Rin, you can't be hittin' Kakashi there. How are you guys gonna fu—FFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!" Obito screech as Rin stomped on his balls again. Asuma and Gai were walking down the hall and Rin didn't want them to hear Obito [6].
"YOSH!!! WHY ARE YOU ON THE FLOOR, KAKASHI-SAN? DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S VERY UNYOUTHFUL TO LIE ON THE GROUND LIKE A SLOTHFUL OLD MAN?"
"Heh, Obito on his knees; now there's something you see every day," Asuma said.
Obito groaned and said, "Fuck…you…with…a…big…dick…"
Naruto was trembling after realizing that there may be kids just as strong as or stronger than Gaara. Sakura noticed this and smirked. 'Even my Naru-kun is scared! I'll go and comfort him and make him fall head over heels!' she thought. She sauntered over to Naruto, adding a little switch to her step. Haku, Ino, and Hinata rolled their eyes at Sakura's disgraceful display.
"Naru-kun, no need to fear," she said as she batted her lashes.
Naruto leapt onto the nearest table, looked up and shouted to the crowd, "MY NAME IS NAMIKAZE NARUTO!!! AND I'MA WHOOP ALL OF YOUR ASSES!!! BELIEVE IT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!" To add insult to injury, Naruto flipped them the bird.
Kiokure began trembling harder when all the Genin released killing intent toward Naruto. "D-D-Dude! Y-Y-You j-j-just m-m-made e-e-enemies o-o-of e-e-everyone h-h-here!" Kiokure stammered.
"So what?! It's not like they can beat me!" Naruto shouted. In the crowd, three Genin in particular were pissed at Naruto's statements.
"Should we go after him now, boss?" one said.
"No you dumbass. I feel powerful chakra heading our way. We'll bide our time and get him when he least expects it," another said. As if on cue, a large smokescreen enveloped the room. Several Chuunin, including the two who harassed Naruto downstairs, and a large man appeared in the center of the room. The man wore a black hitai-ite cap, a long black trench coat, and a grey jumpsuit underneath.
"Alright, shut the fuck up you worthless bastards. My name is Morino Ibiki, Tokubetsu Jonin, and Head of the Konohagakure no Sato ANBU Interrogation Division. I will be the proctor of the first exam," Ibiki said.
"Let's start off with the rules of the exams. Number 1: no unsanctioned fighting. That means you, Ame-nin. Any unsanctioned fights will result in immediate disqualification."
"Number 2: killing is strictly prohibited." This elicited some sighs of relief from a few of the Genin. Ibiki smirked and continued, "Except in Exam #2." The few relieved Genin once again allowed fear to grip their hearts.
"Number 3: disobey me and expect to feel immense pain. Do I make myself clear?" Ibiki half-asked, half-shouted. "Now, the first exam will be a written test."
Naruto paled and screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?! A WRITTEN EXAM?!?!"
"Yeah, Namikaze, a written exam," Ibiki chuckled. Ibiki smirked and said, "Alright then, form a single file line and take a tab from this bucket."
Naruto was mentally cursing his luck for having to take part in this stupid exam. He sucked at written tests and he just knew he was going to fail and screw up Sasuke and Hinata's chance to become Chuunin. Kyo felt bad for the boy and said, At least it cannot get worse, Kit.
As if on cue, Sakura sat down to the right of Naruto, and Hinata to the left. 'Kyo-sensei, shut the hell up!' Naruto mentally screamed. Sakura was batting her eyes at Naruto and winking and blowing kisses. Naruto sighed and thought, 'She has no shame. The funny thing too is that after a while, she'll get bored of me rejecting her and go to Sasuke to get rejected.'
Humans, said Kyo.
Ibiki walked to the front of the room and said, "Before you turn your tests over, I have something to say. Listen to me carefully because I hate to repeat myself." Ibiki walked over to the chalkboard and began writing.
"The Written Exam has a few rules," Ibiki said.
A random Genin raised his hand and said, "You already told us them."
Ibiki growled and said, "I gave the rules for the entire Chuunin Exams; these rules are separate. And speak without permission again and I'll disqualify you and your squad!"
Silence filled the room and Ibiki continued. "Rule 1: You guys will be given ten points to start. The exam has ten questions each, and each question is worth a point. This test uses a subtraction system. So, for example, if you get three questions wrong, you lose three points and end up with a total of seven."
"Rule 2: This is a team test. Whether you pass or not is determined by your squad's combined score. So each team will compete to see how many points they can hold onto from their original 30."
"Rule 3: Anyone caught doing anything sneaky, like cheating, will have two points subtracted for every offense. After being caught five times, the offender will be thrown out," Ibiki stated. Ibiki pointed to the Chuunin to his side and said, "These guys here are watching you very intently to see if you cheat, so if you decide to, be very wary."
"And finally, Rule 4: If one Genin fails, his squad mates fail too, even if they got a perfect ten. If a Genin cheats and all his points are deducted, he and his squad mates get thrown out," Ibiki said.
Hinata gasped and thought, 'Oh, no! Naruto-kun is bad at written tests! Sasuke-kun is going to kill him if he fails!'
Sasuke banged his head on the desk and thought, 'We are SOOOOOOOOOO screwed.'
Naruto began trembling harder than Kiokure and thought, 'I feel like an emo with black hair wants to slit my throat from ear to ear…'
"The exam lasts for one hour," Ibiki said. "Begin!"
Naruto flipped his test over and began scanning the questions. He was thoroughly disgusted by what he read.
Decode this cryptogram.
This graph shows the greatest distance an average Chuunin can throw a shuriken in any direction provide that there is no weather conditions that say otherwise. For enemies who appear in the circumference of the shuriken's range, explain all possible attack options. Show your work.
You are attempting to flee and use a powerful A-Rank Genjutsu to aid in your escape. Approximately how much chakra would you need to execute the jutsu?
You use four high level Ninjutsu in rapid succession and you become stricken with severe chakra exhaustion. Approximately how much time do you have before you die?
Suppose a medic-nin gets to you just moments before you are to die. Approximately how much chakra would he need to use to save you?
Suppose you are assigned to protect a diplomat from a hypothetical village. You discover that he is really in (add Hidden Village here) to steal information. How do you handle him?
You are sent to a hypothetical village to meet with their leader. In the process, you anger him greatly. How do you appease his anger?
Why are Kinjutsu considered to be illegal?
What is the penalty for using Kinjutsu?
'It's ok Naruto! You've been in countless dangerous missions where you may have died! You can handle a little ol' test!' Naruto thought. Naruto's smile slowly faded away and was replaced with sheer agony. 'THIS IS REALLY BAD!!!!!' thought Naruto.
Kit, calm down! Do you not see the point of the test?
'Don't you fucking tell me to calm down! I'll fucking fail and Sasuke will kill me!' Naruto mentally shouted at the old Kitsune.
Listen, you baka! The whole point of the test is to cheat! These questions are impossible to answer without aid. You have to cheat and cheat without being caught, much like a ninja would have to steal information without getting caught. They want to know how good your espionage skills are.
'……………Oh,' thought Naruto. 'Well, how the hell am I going to do that?'
I swear, sometimes I cannot believe you. I am a millennium old; I know all these things! I am going to give you the answers.
Naruto's trademark Kitsune Grin spread across his face as he whispered aloud, "Fire away, Kyo-sensei!"
Sasuke had too realized the nature of the exam. He focused his chakra into his eyes and his Sharingan awakened. Sasuke looked at the ninja on his right and left and began copying their answers. It was easy for him; his Sharingan helped him mimic what they wrote and he copied it to his paper.
All around the room, other ninja were using inventive ways to cheat. Some were successful in their endeavors; others were expelled from the exam, along with their pissed teammates.
Gaara made a hand seal and then held his right hand out. Sand appeared seemingly from nowhere and formed an eye. "Daisan no Me (The Third Eye)!" The eye rose and floated around the room at a high speed, gathering information and spreading it between Kankuro, Temari, and him.
Kiba had used Akamaru to view other people's exams, and then communicate their answers via barks. Shino summoned a few bugs and used them to spy on the other Genin.
Tenten used mirrors and lights to communicate her and other's answers with Lee. Neji and Hinata used his Byakugan to view the proctors' answer sheets.
Satsu sighed and linked his mind to one of the Chuunin. 'I figure these guys have the answers in here somewhere.' After Satsu fished the answers out of his head, he then sent them to Haku and Kiokure, who wasted no time writing them down.
Sakura was the only person who answered all the questions based on her own knowledge. And that was just what Ino was waiting for. She made several hand seals before whispering, "Shintenshin no Jutsu (Mind-Body Transfer Technique)!" Ino's head slammed into the desk as she entered Sakura's mind. After memorizing her answers, she hopped into Shikamaru and Choji's minds and gave them the answers before returning to her own.
By now, 45 minutes had gone by. Ibiki cleared his throat and said, "As you may have noticed, the test is missing a 10th question. I will now reveal that question to you.
"But first, there are some new rules to adhere to. Rule 1: You can choose whether or not you wish to answer the question. Should you refuse, your points will be reduced to zero, and you fail."
Kiba shouted, "Of course we'll take it! What kind of bullshit is that?"
Ibiki growled and said, "Rule 2: Should you answer the question incorrectly………you will be barred from ever taking these exams again."
Kiba leapt up and replied angrily, "That's bullshit and you know it! There are guys here who took the exam a dozen times!"
Ibiki smirked and shot back, "This year, it's my rules. I actually pity you bastards……a little bit. But I'll be benevolent. You can quit now, and still take the exams next year. Who wants out?" Genin stood up left and right and bolted for the door. After about five minutes, the outflow stopped.
Ibiki chuckled and said, "We started this exam with 333 3-man squads, or 999 Genin. We're down to 26 squads now. How pathetic." Naruto suddenly stood up. Ibiki was a bit shocked; while he didn't know anything about Naruto, he had heard that the boy was very determined, in fact stubborn. He had high hopes for him; to see him giving up disappointed him.
"You think you're so slick!" shouted Naruto. This caught Ibiki off guard even more. "You purposely held the tenth question from us to use as a way to scare away most of the Genin, making it harder for us to steal information! Hell, is there even a tenth question?"
Everyone was shocked Naruto came to this conclusion on his own, even Kyo. Did I tell you that, Kit? I know I had to have said something like that to you…
Ibiki's face showed his shock, and he said, "I guess stretching this any longer would be pointless. I congratulate you bastards on passing the first test!
"The point of this test was to first test your ability to gather information undetected, as many of you have done. To make it easier on you guys, we placed some Chuunin in the crowd who knew all the answers.
"Secondly, the rules were designed to put pressure on each of you to do well so as to not let down your comrades, a handy trait to have in an actual battle.
"The third part of the exam is to gather pertinent information…………and not get caught," Ibiki said as he removed his hitai-ite. Horrible burns, scars, and screw holes adorned his bald head. "Getting caught with important information………can ruin you, physically and mentally."
"But," Ibiki said as he re-tied his hitai-ite, "The true nature of the exam comes in the form of question ten. When you become a Chuunin, you'll be faced with many moments of doubt. 'Should I do this or shouldn't I?' Taking that leap of faith, risking everything to get your mission done, that's what it means to be an officer, to be a Chuunin," Ibiki said.
"You've all passed the first exam. I wish you luck," Ibiki said as he and his cohorts vanished in a plume of smoke.
Suddenly, a figure crashed through the window. It was a female with purple hair and beige eyes. She wore a coat like Ibiki's, except in beige, a fishnet shirt underneath, a beige skirt, and fishnet stockings. All the boys blushed at seeing this provocatively dressed, beautiful woman. Until things got crazy.
She pulled a grey scroll out of her pocket and opened it. She made some hand seals and smoke covered her body. Suddenly, a hail of shuriken and kunai burst from the smoke and aimed themselves at all the Genin! Everyone scrambled to dodge, deflect, and hide from the onslaught. Eventually, the storm passed and the woman stepped out of the smoke.
"My name is Mitarashi Anko, Tokubetsu Jonin of Konoha, and I'll be the proctor of the second exam!"
Next Time: This chick is crazy! She's purposely trying to get us hurt so she can get off! And now we have to take our second exam…………WHICH TAKES PLACE IN TRAINING GROUND #44!!!
Doubutsuen no Makai [7]! The Second Exam is Arriving [8]!
1- I thought Kiba would be a good rival for Naruto because they both have strong ties to the canine family (Kiba and his dogs and Naruto being a mythical fox demon).
2- Satsu and Sasuke are very much alike. They're both emos, vain, insensitive, and have a heart of gold hidden under their facades (I do believe that Sasuke has some good in him, even after all he's done in Shippuden). I made them rivals because there is only room for one ego in my story lol.
3- Haku was beaten half to death by an angry Naruto. She faded out when Hinata called Naruto a monster, so she just knows that Naruto is hurting Hinata's feelings.
4- I always imagined Kiba as a player (maybe because of his clan's dog fetish I assumed he was a dog lol) and this will be a very key element in the series.
5- Naruto maybe a bijuu, but Kiokure is definitely the strongest Genin there and possibly the strongest human character in my story. As you'll see in a few chapters, Kiokure possesses the ultimate offense and defense. His lack of confidence is the only thing keeping him from unlocking his potential. I have great things planned for Kiokure.
6- Rin's reasoning behind this isn't just because Obito was making crude remarks. If you're not sure why, you need to read chapter 1 again.
7- Doubutsuen no Makai means the Zoo of Hell.
8- Arriving is Anko's favorite phrase, at least, according to my handy-dandy Naruto official handbooks.