CHAPTER 12

I moved in with Josh the next month. I had gone home for a month to tie up my loose ends and pack. My boss had put in a good word for me at the local paper, so I had a job waiting. Good thing, there wasn't much to choose from otherwise. It took me only a couple days to get settled. Josh was ecstatic to have me there, he said it was nice to come home and someone be there, and I would cook most nights, he was especially grateful for that. I also did laundry. The two of us went through more laundry then I thought was possible for two people.

"I have a date tomorrow" he told me one night at dinner.

"with who?"

"this girl I met last week"

"so......."

"so....." he said with a slick smile.

"yeah what a coincidence, I won't be here tomorrow, until ....late?" I said sounding more like a question.

"that's be great" he said still smiling and a little embarrassed and kinda apologetic.

"It's okay, I get it, a girl won't be real happy with you having a female roommate."

"thanks" he said.

Now what was I going to do. The bookstore was open late.

"can I have a car?" I asked him.

"of course, you can always take a car when you need it, or I need you to have it." he chuckled.

I wondered what Jake was doing and if he would talk to me yet. But Josh and I never talked about Jake, it was an unspoken rule.

I spent the next night at the bookstore and Starbucks, until he called me to tell me it was okay to go home.

"how'd it go?" I asked getting out of the car, smiling. He just smiled.

"well, I had a fulfilling night too, I got two books and then one free."

"OMG are they still open?" he asked, mocking me. I slapped him on the way by. He came in behind me.

"Jake, called tonight." he told me just as causally as if he was telling me the weather for tomorrow. Not wanting to talk about Jake I asked

"did he interrupt you?"

"he asked about you?" he said ignoring me.

"Josh, I really don't want to talk about Jake, he knows my number he could have called me himself."

"you're right, he could have, but he doesn't think like that."

I shrugged.

"I'm going to bed, I have to work in the morning. Goodnight"

"love you" he called after me.

"me too" .

I started spending a lot of time at the bookstore. When was Josh going to tell his 'friend' that his roommate was a girl, was me.

"Josh, I'm getting tired of having to leave on the nights you need a piece of ass, I want to go to bed and sleep, I'm exhausted at work the next day." I complained to him when he said he had yet, another date, the third this week, and it was only Wednesday.

"what about her place?" I asked, hoping that could work.

"she lives with her parents" he informed me.

"then you need to tell her, because I'm not leaving tonight. I will stay in my room but I'm not leaving again."

"okay, okay" he said getting defensive.

Around 8 pm there was a knock at the door, in sweat pants, a tee shirt 2 sizes too big, glasses and fuzzy slippers, I opened it.

"hi, I'm Emily." she greeted me holding out her hand.

"Jules" I shook her hand. And motioned for her to come in.

"JOSH!" I yelled up the stairs.

"be right down."

I stood in the kitchen waiting for the water to boil, trying to think of something to say. I had nothing. I turned to smile at her.

"he takes longer to get ready then I do." she giggled. I wasn't lying. At that moment Josh came flying down the stairs. Thank god, the awkward moment was over. There was another knock at the door. Josh looked at me, I shrugged.

I opened the door to find Jake, and some girl on the other side. My heart dropped.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" Josh asked, scared of my reaction.

"what. I can't visit my brother now, just because she" he gestured towards me" lives here?" It was going to be a long night. Poor Emily was so far out of the loop, I envied her.

"Jake, you've obviously been drinking, just go home" Josh told him.

"so she matters more to you then I do?" he was drunk all right.

"just go Jake." Josh said again.

"I want her to see that I don't care about her." he was pointing at me, in case no one knew who he was talking about.

"believe me Jake, I know you don't care. thanks for the update though." I turned and walked upstairs. I made it all the way up before the tears welled over. I had only been upstairs for a minute when there was a light tap.

"I'm fine, Josh go back to your date." the door opened a crack.

"are you sure?" asked a quiet, sweet voice. I looked up to see Emily standing in the doorway.

"I'm fine, really, sorry to have ruined your night"

"I think the only person who's night got ruined was yours." she smiled at me.

"please come downstairs, I don't want you to be up her all alone after that."

I got up and walked downstairs with her. Josh came over to me, wrapped his arms around me whispering in my ear.

"he was drunk, don't take it to heart, you know as well as I do he doesn't mean it" I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, but I didn't know what was true. He let me go and walked towards the fridge,

"what kind of sad is this?" he asked, Emily looked to him confused.

"totally twisted." that I was. I was in love with a man who had no idea how to be in love with anyone. And I held out hope on a daily basis that he would figure it out, oh and I lived with his brother. Yup, I was totally twisted alright. Josh handed me the pint and a spoon. Emily smiled.

"do this often?" she asked.

"not usually over this, just a bad day a work mostly, but it's the same thing." I told her.

"are you gunna tell me now, what it is between you two?" Josh asked.

"ever since that first night we met in Dutch"

" we.... we aren't anything."

"you might not have a label but you are defiantly something." he said, Emily nodding beside him. She had just met me, and had only seen Jake and I together like that, how could she nod. Was it that obvious to someone on the outside?

"yes that other girl looked like WE were something for sure." I said rolling my eyes.

Josh, Emily and I sat up all night talking about Jake, and me , and us, if there was an us, there wasn't in my mind. And I don't think there was in Jake's either, he had made that clear.

Josh announced,

"we're having a party Friday."

"we are?" I asked

"yup." he said with a matter of fact tone.

"is he coming" he knew who I was talking about.

"I told him about it, he is my brother." I nodded