Chapter 11 – Forgive him?

6th July 2010

A guy who raped me. He has two different personalities. He loves kids. He cares about me. But still, can I forgive him for raping me?...

…_...

I woke up in the morning only to puke. My morning started badly. I had been vomiting and won't stop and Samuel, well he stood by my side either rubbing my back or holding my hair. Everybody, even the king and queen had come to ask about me.

Anna had requested me to stay home but I would die of boredom if I did so I went to school with them.

I entered the school with Samuel by my side. He had remembered what he did yesterday and apologized to me in the morning. I knew I had to ask him about the yellow eyes today and I had decided to do that at lunch or in class.

I had history first so I went to my class which I usually have with Betty, poor her, I still feel bad about what Samuel had said to her. I sat next to her. "Hey Scarlet" she said cheerily

"Hi…Betty I'm sorry what Samuel said to you yesterday"

She smiled "Don't be. Samuel came to me yesterday at lunch and he apologized"

My eyes nearly bulged out "What?"

"Yeah, shocking right? He came up to me at lunch and apologized and he even paid for my lunch to make it up to me."

"He did?" damn, every time he does something bad, he does good as well. So there you go, he has a bad personality and a good personality.

"Yeah, he just told me to stay away from him when his eyes are yellow, he said he's usually drugged at that time so he's not himself" she replied

Yeah, drugged my ass.

"Hey Bet?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you know Delilah?"

"I used to. Yes"

Bingo! "Who was she?"

"She was the most beautiful girl in school. Every boy wanted to be with her and every girl envied her. To be honest, she looked a lot like you except your eyes, hers were brown and yours are purple very unique. No wonder Samuel wedded you"

Whoa, she looked like me? And is that why Samuel is nice and caring to me or does he really care? But how can she be like me. Was she one of my relatives?

"What was she?"

"A witch" ok, not a relative.

Hmm "Was she Samuel's friend?"

"She was his fiancée. He loved her so much that he once nearly died for her. You know, Samuel wasn't like this; he used to be happy and fun loving. He was the funniest and always made the girls laugh in a charming way"

She was his fiancée? "Then what happened?"

Her face saddened "She died. Samuel broke when she died. He stopped laughing or making others laugh. He stopped caring about others or himself. Every time I looked at him, his face was in misery"

He broke? "How did she die?"

"To be honest, I really don't know. But there were rumors that Samuel killed her or she killed herself. But we all knew that Samuel loved her too much to kill her"

I would honestly believe that he killed her. "Do you know why he has yellow eyes?"

She shrugged "I don't know, he said it happens when he gets drugged" so she didn't know about his slit personalities.

Was Samuel really suffering?

"If he loves Delilah then why is Vanessa his girlfriend?" This question really irked me, I don't know why?

"She's not his girlfriend. Samuel shoos away every girl who asks him out. Vanessa just never leaves him alone. Sometimes he romances with her and sometimes he shoos her away, it's like two different persons. Weird right?"

You have no idea.

My history was usually boring, then science just killed me and my next class was with Kenny, my only friend. I smiled at him as I sat next to him.

"Hi"

He looked at the people who were very curiously looking at us and the he looked back at me "Being friends didn't mean we show off" he muttered

I hang my arm around his shoulder "Of course you idiot that's what friends are for"

He arched an eyebrow at my arm and then at me "You know, most people are scared to even touch me. People would run away at the sight of me and you are here, hanging your arm around my shoulder"

I grinned "Are you expecting me to fear you?"

"Yes"

"Well sorry I'm not"

"Honey, believe me when I do something evil, it will be worse than Samuel and I-"

I stopped breathing as he said that. How could he? I should have known he would mock me, why did I even trust him to be my friend. My eyes burned as I thought of my only friend being a dick.

"Scarlet I didn't me-"

"No, I'm sorry. Your right, we shouldn't be friends" I got up and went back to the seat I chose for myself, where I sat alone. That's where I belonged all along.

After class I went straight outside since it was lunch. I sat where I normally sit by my tree.

He followed me and sat next to me "Please leave me alone"

"No….that's not what friends are for…I'm sorry Scar"

Scar? When did he start calling me that?

"You're sorry? You had no right to tell me all that, you don't know what I've been through. You don't know the pain when he touched my body, you don't know the fear when he climbed on me, and you don't know the screams that I hear every night in my nightmares. You don't know anything" I sobbed

He wiped my tears "You're right, I don't know what you've been through but I could at least make it better. I'm sorry that I said that, it wasn't intended I swear, I was just trying to scare you"

"Yeah well good job, you succeeded" I snapped

"I'm sorry Scar, please forgive me. Please tell me how I make it up to you. I promise I'll do anything"

Maybe he didn't really mean it. I wanted to smile so badly but I resisted. First I'll make him pay.

"You're not forgiven"

"I'll do anything for you to forgive me"

I sniffed "Anything?"

"Anything" he agreed

"Than I have three wishes if you comply then you are forgiven" I wiped my tears

"What wishes?"

"First wish is for you to hang around with me casually like I'm your friend, around everyone."

He hesitated but nodded "ok next"

"Second wish is for you to be my best friend and third is you have to get me my lunch now"

He smiled and shook his head "You are such a kid"

"Hey! You better go before I change my mind"

He sighed "Ok"

I got up "I'm going to the library, meet me there"

He nodded and left.

I walked down the corridor, this time people lowered their eyes when they saw me. I didn't like it but then it was better then seeing pity.

I stopped abruptly to see Samuel and his gang. Vanessa was all over Samuel who didn't seem one bit interested. Hmm he's my husband why is she flirting with him and if Samuel really loves her then he should forget her because I'm going to take all his loved ones away.

I walked up to them and pulled Vanessa off him. She glared at me "What the hell?"

But I ignored her. Without thinking I pushed Samuel in the lockers and kissed him, hard and rough. He didn't respond at first, maybe in shock. But then he growled and kissed back. He pulled me close and thrusted his tongue in my mouth.

I don't know why but it felt good to be in his arms and his kiss was turning me on. In all my life I never thought I would want to take off someone's cloths like I want to do to Samuel. I felt like ripping his cloths and let him take me.

I moved back breathless and looked up to see his eyes were glowing yellow again and he was grinning.

Samuel's gang was looking at us shocked and so was Vanessa. I smirked at her "Don't you dare come near my husband"

She glared at me "Who the hell are you to tell me that?"

"Who am I? Oh wait, I remember. I'm his wife and your future queen"

She looked like she was going to cry and I actually felt bad but then I knew if I let my emotions out I would loose and I can't loose.

"You're a bitch!"

She came forward to hit me but before her hand could touch me, Samuel had caught her hand. "Don't touch her"

I looked at Samuel shocked, his eyes weren't yellow. Dear god, this was the real Sam and he's protecting me from his girlfriend.

"Sam?" Vanessa whispered hurt

"I like you Vanessa but that doesn't mean I gave you the right to touch my wife." He shoved her hand away "Keep your hands to yourself"

She looked at me "You'll pay for this" with that she ran away crying.

Samuel moved away from me and frowned "You shouldn't have done that"

"Like I said, I will take every love ones away from you. Vanessa your girlfriend was the first. So watch out for the rest Sammy"

…_...

I had lunch with Kenny and this time Anna joined us. We had fun, laughing and joking about. My next period was with Samuel. Ugh.

I sat next to him and was relieved to know his eyes weren't yellow.

We both sat in silence. I noticed that blue Sam talked less, maybe Betty was right. I suddenly felt sick again. The lump in my throat told me that I was about to throw up. I quickly got up and ran from the class as everyone watched me. I ran down the corridor and in the bathroom.

I puked all over the sink. I felt a hand rubbing on my back. I looked up in the mirror to see Samuel standing there looking concerned. He held my hair up while rubbing my back.

Eventually I stopped but I felt fear rise in me, what's happening to me? The most thing I hate and is scared of is puking, it just creeps me out.

I hugged Samuel as my body shook. He after a minute wrapped his arms around me. I was too scared to let go until he spoke.

"Maybe I should take you home"

I moved away "I'm sorry I was just…" Scared?

He nodded "Its okay, come on I'll take you home"

I nodded and went out after him.

As we reached the palace, I went inside to see my parents had come to visit me. They sat in the lounge with the king and queen.

"Mum! Dad!" I screamed in excitement.

I ran up to them and hugged them. "I missed you guys"

"We missed you too baby" My mum said

"How come you're here?"

"Well Samuel called us today saying that you miss us and that we should visit you" My dad said

Whoa when did this happen? And why would he care? I turned around to see no Samuel, maybe he's still in the car.

I sat next to mum "So, where's Juls?"

"That's another reason we're here. Juliet and Lysander have decided the wedding in 2 weeks later and she wants you at home. She said that she wants you, Samuel and Anna to come and stay with us until the wedding"

"Really? When?" I asked excited

"You look very happy" My mum said smiling. If only you knew.

I smiled "So when should we come?" I said changing the subject

"Whenever you guys decide, maybe you should ask Samuel" My father said

I wanted to tell them that he can fuck off but I couldn't show them that I wasn't happy with Samuel. I nodded "Ok"

Just then the devil walked in. He smiled at my parents "Hey mum" he kissed my mothers cheek. Mum? When did he start calling her that?

"Hey dad" He hugged dad.

"So Sam, we were just talking about you guys coming to our house to stay till Juliet's wedding" My dad said sitting down with Samuel

"Juliet's wedding? When is it?" He asked

"2 weeks later"

"I uh…I don't think I can come and stay"

No, if he doesn't go, my parents won't take me either. That bastard always has to ruin the moment.

"But Scarlet and Anna can go; I don't want them to spoil their plans because of me"

"No, Samuel will come with us" I replied before my parents could

"But i-"

"No, you have to come with us or else Juliet will get mad, right mum?"

"Oh yeah certainly"

He sighed "Fine, we'll be there on Saturday"

"Great then we'll see you on Saturday" My dad said getting up

"You're leaving so soon? I just came in" My heart ached to go with them, I felt homesick.

"Honey, we have so many things to arrange. We don't have time at all that's why we want you to come stay with us" My mum said hugging me

I nodded "Fine, I'll see you on Saturday"

Later that night I went straight in my room and laid down on the bed. Samuel came in.

"Why did you call my parents?" I asked curiously

He cleared his throat as he sat on the bed "I uh…Anna told me to call them. She uh…she said you missed them so she told me to call them. Yeah she told me to" he said nervously

I frowned. A lie or truth? Never mind.

I felt nausea. As I stood up a wave of dizziness hit me and I thought that I was going to hit the floor but before I could, Samuel caught me with his Vampire speed.

"Whoa there. You okay?"

I held my head as he sat me down. "Damn it, you're burning. Why didn't you tell me you have a fever?" he said

But before I could reply I felt sick and I ran in the bathroom without letting the dizziness hit me. I vomited while again Samuel held me.

"Can you hold up while I call the doctor?" he asked

I nodded

He ran out of there and called the doctor.

…_...

Half an hour later a doctor came in. She checked me up. Everyone was in my room, worried about me.

"Since when is this happening?" She asked me

"Since morning"

She nodded "I don't want to give you any false information so I have taken some of her blood and urine to test. I will tell you what's wrong when I get the reports." She said to Samuel

He nodded "Thank you"

The doctor then went out and so did everyone except Anna who was stopped by Samuel.

"Anna?"

She stopped and looked at him "Yes?"

"I think it would be best if you stay with Scarlet till I come back, I really don't wanna leave her but it's an emergency"

Leave? Where is he going at this time?

Anna nodded "You know you can always rely on me"

"Thanks" He said and left

"Where is he going at this time?" I asked as if I didn't care

Anna ignored me and sat next to me "So I heard we're going to your house on Saturday. It'll be fun"

I nodded "Thanks for telling Samuel to call my parents. I really did miss them"

She frowned "What? I didn't tell Samuel anything?"

"Yes you did. Samuel said that you told him to call my parents because I miss them"

"Scarlet, I didn't tell that to Samuel"

"You didn't tell Samuel to call my parents because I miss them?"

She shook her head.

So he had been lying. He called my parents and lied to me, but why? Does he really care for me?

"But why would he lie?" I asked her

She sighed "I don't know but he really does care for you Scar"

"Yeah right" I scoffed "Where was his caring side when he was so brutally raping me?"

She shook her head "You'll never understand until Samuel tells you the whole truth"

"What truth?"

"I'm sorry but I can't tell you that. It's something Samuel would never tell anyone and won't let us either. If you really wanna know, you will have to ask him yourself"

"I don't wanna know anything about him, okay? I just wanna know the truth" I snapped

"Honey, one single truth is his whole life. You know the truth, you know him"

"I know him. He's a dick who pervs on girls and then rapes them. He cares for no one. He only thinks of himself"

She glared at me "Come with me and I'll show you how much he cares. You wanted to know where he went at this time. I'll show you"

She grabbed my hand. One minute we were in my room, the next we stood in front of a big cottage. Whoa, she can teleport?

"You can teleport?"

"Yes, they're my powers"

I then looked at the cottage "What is this? And why are we here?"

"This is an orphanage. Samuel comes here every day to meet the kids"

"So?" but honestly I was very curious.

"Come with me but we can't be seen by Samuel" She took my hand and pulled me inside with her.

Kids smiled at us and some even waved but I couldn't meet them cause Anna was dragging me down. She stopped in front of a room. Inside was Samuel with some kids, he was…playing? Well if running around with kids is playing then he's definitely playing. It was the most affectionate site that was making my knees tremble.

I felt myself smile as he caught a little girl and she giggled. It was like he's playing with his own kids.

"It's wonderful isn't it? The guy who stays all dark and quiet is here enjoying with kids" Anna said snapping me out of my thoughts.

He looked so carefree and vulnerable and most of all, he was himself, without any personalities, without any worries. He looked just him. For once I didn't feel any anger on him, I felt sad.

"Do you know why he comes here?" She asked

"Why?" I asked without taking my eyes of them

"Because he cares for them. Every night, he comes here to tuck them in bed because he wants them to sleep peacefully. A peaceful sleep which he can't sleep."

"What do you mean?" I now looked at her.

"Every Friday he gets out of bed without disturbing you and goes downstairs to the dungeon. He tortures himself until he faints and stays there until he heals."

I gaped "Why?"

She hesitated "Because he once nearly killed my father, if he hadn't looked at my mothers face, my dad wouldn't have been here. He used to love dad so much, there wasn't a single moment he didn't stay without dad."

"Then what happened?"

"He thought dad betrayed him for something I will not tell you. So he tortures himself because everyday he blames himself for hurting dad even though he hates him. He blames himself for Delilah's death and now he blames himself for hurting you."

"He comes here because he feels like an orphan himself. My dad was his everything and he hates dad but still misses him. With these kids he exposes a part of him which he doesn't even show me even though I'm the closest to him in the family. He's always quiet and stays to himself and shows no emotions. The day Delilah died, a part of my brother died too." Tears flowed down her face

I felt tears burn my eyes but I didn't let them fall. I don't know why but I felt anger towards his dad, Delilah and myself.

"So if you think he doesn't care then you're wrong because he does care. He might be a bad son, he might be a killer. Hell, he might be a rapist but my brother….he's not selfish"

I looked back at Samuel who was tucking in a small girl. "Sammy, will you come tomorrow?" she asked

"You know I will, Mari. But I won't come on Saturday, not until 2 weeks."

"What? Why?"

He ruffled her hair and smiled. Wow he looked so beautiful when he smiles. "It's my sister-in-laws wedding but don't worry I'll sneak out sometimes to meet you"

"Why? Won't Scarlet let you come? Will she beat you?" She asked with her angelic voice.

She knows me? He told them about me.

He laughed "No she won't beat me. And yes she will let me come."

"If she hurts you then I'm goanna beat her"

To be honest that made me smile, it was nothing offensive.

He smiled "No she won't. She's a nice girl and she deserves to be happy, just like you"

Mari smiled "Will you ever take me to meet her?"

He sighed "I don't know Mari; she doesn't like me or the things I'm connected to. Maybe one day I'll introduce you to her"

Mari pouted and Samuel laughed "I love you when you do that"

He slightly pinched her nose "Ok princess, time for bed" he said moving the quilt under her chin.

Anna looked at me "Tell me, does that look like a selfish person to you?"

The only thing I could think of was 'Why?' why did he have to be nice? Even though I hate him, I pity him too. If only he'd be bad, It would be easy to hurt him. Could I really forgive him?

…_...

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