Christmas that year proved to be a slightly fraught affair. The family spent a few days in Kansas at Grant and Josie's farm. On the surface, things seemed fine, however, Josie was concerned for Lucy. She seemed exhausted, and spent most of Christmas day asleep. Josie also noticed that there seemed to be an atmosphere between Lucy and Jeff. Despite making a point of not involving herself in her son's marriage, Josie took Lucy aside.
"Is everything okay?" she asked. Lucy looked surprised and a little suspicious at the question.
"Yes, it's fine," she replied, though in her heart she knew that it wasn't quite the truth. She and Jeff seemed to have been arguing a lot recently. Not big rows, but silly little arguments, the kind every couple had once in a while. The difference was that they weren't rowing once in a while, more like every other day. It was usually forgotten a short time later, but then something else seemed to crop up. They were both stressed. Jeff had problems with the business, and Lucy was tired from looking after one baby and expecting another. But, Christmas passed and another year was upon them. 2005. It sounded scary, even more so when it was considered that this coming July would be their tenth wedding anniversary. Jeff had stored the fact carefully in his memory, but though Lucy tried, she couldn't see that far ahead. All she could concentrate on was March, though not so much that she forgot to organise Gordon's first birthday party. It gave her a lot of joy to see her little red-haired son thriving, considering a year ago he was a tiny, helpless thing with a small chance of survival. Being Valentines Day, she herself received a box of her favourite chocolates and a meal at a nice restaurant in the evening. Despite the recent cloud hanging over their marriage, they had a lovely evening together. That they loved each other was never in any doubt, but they had fallen into a somewhat routine existence, and it was suiting neither of them. Jeff was fed up with the amount of travelling he was having to do at the moment to sort out various problems with the company and Lucy was bored with being little more than a housewife. She had little time to do writing or any of the other things that allowed her a break from "being Mrs Tracy" as she put it to her friend Karen in a phone conversation. Karen was now a mother herself, though her own marriage was a short-lived affair. She didn't want to see her friend go down the same route, however, and assured Lucy that everything would be fine.
"Both of you could do with a break from the kids," Karen said. "When the baby's old enough, you should go away somewhere by yourselves."
"Maybe you're right," Lucy said. "Well, I suppose we've done well to get this far before hitting a bad patch."
"Anyway, how's the baby?" Karen asked.
"I think I'm going to give birth to the next Jackie Chan," Lucy replied. "It's worse than Scott was." In spite of everything, all was calm as she and Jeff walked about central Boston together, doing some last minute shopping before the baby was born. Jeff had taken some time off work so he was around for the birth of the baby. A babysitter was looking after John and Gordon. Jeff thought that he and Lucy could get their shopping done a lot faster without them being slowed down by children. They walked along, looking in windows. Jeff was about to suggest that they go and take a break in a café, when Lucy grabbed his arm.
"Jeff, it's started," she said.
"Already? It's not due for two days," Jeff said, surprised.
"Well it's decided to come early," Lucy replied.
"Okay, give me your bags and I'll get a taxi," Jeff said. There was little point in trying to go all the way back to where they had left their car. Lucy held onto his arm as they moved to the roadside, where Jeff hailed a taxi. He put the shopping in the front seat, then made sure Lucy was comfortable before getting in himself.
"The hospital please," Jeff said. The taxi driver took one look at Lucy and nodded.
"You got it," he said, and sped off, only to hit bad traffic five minutes later. There had just been an accident at an intersection.
"Can't you go another way?" Jeff asked.
"It's all one way round here. If we can get a little further down the road then we can turn off," the driver said. Nobody said anything for another few minutes. Lucy suddenly gasped and clutched at the headrest in front of her.
"Luce?" Jeff asked, alarmed.
"I don't think I'm going to make the hospital," she groaned. Jeff and the taxi driver just looked at her blankly.
"What do you mean?" Jeff asked, shaking himself out of his stupor first.
"The baby's not going to wait," Lucy said, making sure that the two men understood. She began to get herself into a more comfortable position. The taxi driver stared at her.
"Umm…lady, can't you like, er…cross your legs?"
"How about I cross your legs around your neck?" Lucy glared. Jeff hushed her and spoke to the driver.
"Look, you need to get us out of this traffic jam," he said.
"But my car…" the driver began.
"I'll pay for it. Heck, I'll get you a new car if you like. Just get us to the hospital. I don't care how," Jeff said. The taxi driver hesitated, looked at Lucy again then gritted his teeth and pulled the car out of the traffic jam, onto the pavement and down a side street, hoping that no police caught sight of him. Once on a clear road again, he put his foot down.
"How's it going?" he asked.
"Keep driving," Jeff said. He turned back to Lucy. He had hold of her hand, and tried to support her the best he could in the conditions. The baby might be coming quickly, but it certainly wasn't painlessly. He was thankful that this wasn't their first child and both him and Lucy therefore knew what to do. After another ten minutes, the taxi finally pulled in at the hospital entrance. The driver hopped out and ran into the hospital to fetch a doctor. He came running back out to the taxi and opened the door with the intention of helping Lucy out, only instead to find himself catching something. He looked down at his arms and saw that he was holding a squealing baby.
"Here, use this." Jeff snapped the driver out of his gaze. He looked up and saw that Jeff had taken off his jacket and was holding it out for him. The driver wrapped the baby up in it the best he could and handed it to Lucy.
"Congratulations," he squeaked, looking more dazed than Lucy herself did. She smiled at the baby and then looked at the driver.
"David Seaman couldn't have caught that better," she said.
"Who?" the driver asked.
"It doesn't matter," Lucy said, still smiling. "Thank you…"
"Al. Alan Kolinsky."
"Thank you, Alan."
"Yes, thanks a lot," Jeff said. He hugged Lucy, trying to get a look at the baby nestled in her arms. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I think so," she replied. The doctors arrived and shooed Alan out of the way so they could deal with Lucy and the baby. Everything checked out, and Lucy was allowed to rest.
"Five boys," she said, with a sense of disbelief. "My mother is going to have a fit." Jeff looked up from the baby and smiled at her.
"Well, she's got Miranda so it's not like she's missed out," he said. Miranda was Lucy's niece, who was a few months older than Gordon. So far, she was Peter's only child and he professed that it would probably stay that way. He wasn't keen to emulate his sister, much as he enjoyed his nephews when he saw them.
"Yeah. Actually, I'm quite happy we've got another boy. If we'd had a girl now, she'd be spoilt to death," Lucy said.
"I'm sure he'll be spoilt to death anyway, being the youngest," Jeff said. "He's lovely, sweetie." He gave the baby back to Lucy.
"Yes, he is," Lucy said, smiling at him. She then looked back at Jeff.
"You know that we were thinking of William as a name…" she began.
"I think Speedy Gonzalez would be more appropriate," Jeff interjected. Lucy laughed.
"Well, I think we should call him Alan instead," she said.
"After the taxi driver?"
"Yes. What do you think?"
"It's up to you. I don't mind."
"If you're not keen…" Lucy began, but Jeff sat next to her and put an arm affectionately around her.
"You didn't get your way with the last one, so it's only fair you decide this time. I'm not going to say no," he said.
"Alan it is, then," she smiled.
Al the taxi driver dropped by later to check up on Lucy and the baby, and was delighted and touched to discover that the baby had been named after him. Jeff kept his promise of looking after Al's expenses. The boys were ecstatic about their new brother and argued over who got to look after him. Alan on his part seemed unappreciative of their efforts. He was a very demanding baby, who never seemed to go more than a couple of hours before deciding he wanted feeding or changing or simply someone to give him some attention. He drove his parents up the wall despite their devotion to him, and did nothing to ease the underlying difficulty between them that had returned since the new baby feelings had gone away. Something had to give, and it did, spectacularly. Lucy and Jeff couldn't have said which one of them started the row, but it blew up with all the force of a hurricane. They never fought in front of the boys, but it must have been unavoidable for them to hear it even though they were upstairs in bed. They had never had an argument before that was so bad that it led to Jeff storming out of the house and left Lucy in tears. Yet, like after any storm, a sort of calm seemed to descend. Jeff returned home a couple of hours later, feeling ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he had upset his wife so much, ashamed that he had let things get so out of control. Sure, air your grievances, but there were more civilized ways of doing it. He went up to the bedroom, expecting Lucy to be asleep, but she wasn't. She hadn't even got changed for bed, but was lying on top of the covers. Jeff looked at her, for once unsure what to say. Lucy sat up.
"I think we need to talk," she said.
"Yes," Jeff said. "Tomorrow…"
"No, now. I don't care if we're up all night; we need to sort this out. Things should never have got this far," Lucy said, adamantly. She got off the bed and faced him.
"We'll go downstairs and discuss things over a drink," she said. Jeff simply nodded in agreement and followed her. They sat down at the kitchen table and began a lengthy talk, only interrupted once by Alan.
"I don't like being away from home so much," Jeff said, as the conversation turned to his business.
"I know you don't. I don't like it any more than you do," Lucy said. She looked him in the eyes.
"I know how much the business means to you, and how much effort you've put into it, and God knows how we'd manage if you weren't successful, but don't you think that it is time you got some people to run things for you?"
"Believe me, the thought has crossed my mind, Luce, but I don't know if I could let that happen," Jeff said.
"You can't continue to be everywhere at once, especially not if you want to expand out into the other areas you're thinking about," Lucy replied. "I'm not saying give up, but would it be so painful to let someone else take charge of certain aspects?" Jeff pressed his lips together. He knew that Lucy was right. But he had been completely in charge since the beginning and he didn't like the idea of other people taking over parts of his job. Yet how could he hope to continue his business plans properly by trying to run everything himself simultaneously? Mentally, Jeff found himself banging his head against a wall, telling himself to wake up. He was the first to admit that he didn't like the position he found himself in work-wise at the moment and besides, what was more important to him? The damn company or his family? If it were the former he may as well offer Lucy a divorce then and there. He bit his lip, hating himself for even remotely considering the possibility. Of course he didn't want that to happen. So why was he procrastinating so much that he was in danger of making it happen? He found his mind going back to when he was stranded on the island in the Pacific. He wouldn't have survived that if he hadn't believed in other people being able to do a good job. Jeff almost shook himself. What the heck had happened to him? He looked back at Lucy.
"I'll sit down and work something out this weekend," he promised, absolutely meaning it.
"Good," Lucy said. There was a brief silence before Jeff offered to make some fresh coffee. After that, the conversation turned to the boys, then Lucy herself.
"I've never felt as if I had a chance to recover properly from Gordon's birth," she admitted. "Having Alan has just completely drained me. I know that Scott and Virg are at school, and Elizabeth is great at helping out with the others and around the house, but I feel like I've left myself somewhere else. I feel like I'm watching myself do things, not actually doing them."
"You should have said something," Jeff scolded. "I knew you were tired, but if I'd known it was that bad, I'd have done something about it."
"I didn't want to complain, what with you sorting out the company and both of us dealing with the boys and everything else. Besides, I'm not supposed to say things like 'I want to take a break from my kids', am I?" she said, dryly. Jeff took a sip of his coffee.
"Is that what you want?" he asked. Lucy hesitated, as if she wished she hadn't said anything.
"I…oh, you know that I love the boys. It's just that…I want some time to myself," she eventually managed to say. Jeff placed a hand on hers.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of," he said. "You deserve it." Lucy took a breath.
"I want to go back to the UK for a little bit. This is going to sound really pathetic, but," she smiled at him, almost bashfully. "I want my mother."
"We'll arrange something for as soon as possible," Jeff smiled back at her.
"Are you sure?" Lucy asked.
"Yes. It'll do you the world of good. I wish I'd thought of it myself for you," Jeff told her. There was another small silence. They both felt happier than they had done in a long while. Lucy looked at Jeff's hand still on her own. She smiled at him and placed her other hand on top of his.
"Friends?" she asked. Jeff put his other hand on hers.
"Friends," he said, smiling at her. Lucy glanced at the kitchen clock.
"I think we should go to bed now," she said, standing up. Jeff stifled a yawn.
"That's a good suggestion," he said. They returned to their bedroom, suddenly feeling extremely sleepy, and fell asleep in each other's arms.
Two months later and Lucy was back under the sunny skies of Kent. Despite her earlier wish to take a break from the boys, she had almost backed out of the idea not long before she was due to go. Jeff made her take the trip, reminding her that it had been a while since she'd been back to England, and wouldn't it be nice to see people like Karen and Miranda? Lucy had grudgingly gone ahead, though she had been reluctant to leave Alan behind. But, if she were to be properly rested, then leave the baby behind she had to do. Her mother had been overjoyed that Lucy was coming to visit. Lucy was pleased to see her, too. She still couldn't understand why she had a need to see her mother. Of course she loved her mother, but she'd never been emotionally dependant on her. Perhaps it was because she was feeling so run down and somehow some sort of instinct had come to life. The first night there, she had fallen into a deep sleep, the first undisturbed sleep she had had for a while. Caroline was not impressed by her daughter's state of fatigue, however she refrained from commenting upon it. She knew that Lucy did not warmly receive any criticism of Jeff, especially if it was to do with herself or the boys. After all, what did Caroline know of the ins and outs of Lucy's life these days? Although they tried to see each other at least once a year, and were not slow in other communication, it wasn't the same as if they lived a smaller distance apart. Caroline hadn't seen Alan yet, though Lucy had sent some photographs and brought some more recent ones over with her. Five grandsons, yet how well did Caroline really know them? She was as fond of them as she could be, however it would be true to say that she was much closer to her son's daughter, Miranda. Caroline had arranged for a family lunch the following weekend. It had been a long time since she had her own children together in such a setting. Still, at least Lucy was getting some rest, and already appeared to be much brighter after only a few days. She was over at Karen's at the moment, having a good catch up.
"So, definitely no plans for a reserve for your five-a-side footie team?" Karen asked.
"The day they're interested in football…no, Alan is absolutely the last one. Given what I went through with Gordon, and then him, I think I've had my fair share," Lucy said.
"I'll say," Karen agreed. "Been into Canterbury recently?"
"No. Mum wants me to go with her to do some shopping tomorrow," Lucy said. "I haven't been into town for a good five years."
"Some of it's changed," Karen said. "But you'll recognise most of it."
"It'll feel a bit strange, I think," Lucy replied. "Especially if I bump into anyone I know." Karen grinned suddenly.
"You know, that reminds me. I saw Rachel Jameson the other day when I was shopping."
"Really? How was she?"
"She looked ancient," Karen said, still grinning. "I looked at her and thought, 'There is a God!'" The two women giggled, thinking back to their schooldays. Rachel Jameson had been the resident bitch of their year. Lucy never had much to do with her, but Karen had infamously tangled with her once. The thought triggered a long conversation about days gone by. They were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the front door.
"That'll be Sam," Karen said, and went to answer it. Sam was her new partner. Karen introduced him to Lucy. Lucy watched as Karen and Sam had a little private conversation. He seemed nice enough. She hoped that Karen would take her time with him though. If she had done that with her ex-husband…
"Karen says that you've been over in the States for a few years now." Sam interrupted her train of thought as he say down.
"Yeah, I have. Eleven years this fall," Lucy told him.
"You can tell. She's got a real American twang in her voice these days," Karen said, coming to sit down as well.
"I haven't!" Lucy said, looking almost mortified. Karen laughed at her expression.
"If you heard yourself say what you just said to Sam, you'd know you have. It's not that bad really. You slip in and out of it with certain words."
"My mother said something the other day, but I thought she was joking," Lucy said.
"You still sound English, but not quite," Karen said, and screwed up her face. "Oh…what's the word for it?" She looked at Sam for help.
"Transatlantic?" he offered.
"Yes, that's it," Karen said. She smiled at Lucy. "You're transatlantic."
"Thank you," Lucy replied. They chatted away for a while, Sam being interested in hearing about life in America. She felt a little bit wistful inside. It was lovely to have some peace and quiet, but she still missed the boys and their father. Nevertheless, it wouldn't be long until she saw them again. The time in England was passing by fast. It was nice to see her niece again though. She hadn't seen her since she was a little baby. Miranda was a pretty little thing, with large hazel-brown eyes, like Lucy's, and blonde curls, who zoomed around on her little legs as if time were in short supply. After another week, it was time for Lucy to go home. The trip had done her a world of good, and she returned feeling rejuvenated.
"I bet you want a holiday after looking after the rabble," she said to Jeff later on after the boys had all said hi to their mother and were then dispatched to amuse themselves. He laughed, and put his arms around her.
"Well, it's not a holiday, but as we've got a special date coming up, I've made plans," he said.
"Oh?" Lucy smiled. "And what are those?"
"You'll have to wait and see," Jeff said.
"That's not fair," Lucy pouted, putting her arms around his neck.
"It'll be a nice day," Jeff said. His eyes took on a certain wicked gleam. "Maybe even a nice night too."
"Hmm…I don't know about that," Lucy said, in mock disapproval. They sniggered between themselves before exchanging a kiss. However, their lips had scarcely met for more than a couple of seconds before they heard the sound of giggling from the doorway.
"Alright, who's there?" Lucy demanded, light-heartedly. The spy decided to take flight instead of revealing themselves. Lucy decided from the sound of the footsteps running down the hallway that it was most likely to be Virgil, who delighted in loudly telling his grandmother the last time he'd seen her that,
"Daddy pinched mommy's bottom whilst she was doing the washing up!" Which was a fact that Jeff and Lucy would have preferred not to have had disclosed over dinner with Grant, Josie, Grant's sister, her husband and their son and his wife. Lucy shook her head and shut the door so that any more prying eyes would be stopped. She put her arms back around Jeff.
"Where were we?" she asked.
The view from the window was fantastic. Jeff stood looking out at the scenery. The lights of the city seemed to twinkle, but maybe that was due to the nice wine he and Lucy had had with their dinner. For their tenth wedding anniversary, Jeff had taken Lucy back to New York, where they had first met. He had treated her to all kinds of things during the day, plus a meal and a dance, and had also booked a room in one of the city's top hotels for them to stay in that night. Lucy joined him at the window, an arm encircling his waist.
"You spoil me too much," she said, gazing at the view. Jeff kissed the top of her head.
"I don't think I spoil you enough," he replied. Lucy just smiled at him. They stood there for a little while longer before Lucy, always the first one to tire of standing still, pulled Jeff away from the window and into the middle of the room where she got him into a slow sort of waltz. Obviously she wasn't tired of dancing yet.
"There's some champagne waiting to be drunk and a Jacuzzi waiting to be used," she grinned, mischievously.
"You're a mad, impulsive girl," Jeff answered, pulling her close. She looked up at him.
"Well, if I wasn't, I wouldn't be here," she smiled, fiddling with the top couple of buttons on his shirt.
"I know," Jeff replied.
"I'd have stayed in England and probably be stuck in some really boring job, and you'd be married to some other woman," Lucy said, undoing another button.
"After I met you? I don't think so," Jeff replied.
"We hardly knew each other after that night," Lucy said.
"I knew enough," Jeff smiled. "Anyway, you're the one who moved to a strange country to live with a man you only met in person a few times."
"You invited me," Lucy answered, a playful look in her hazel-brown eyes. "I could have been putting on an act for all you knew. I could have been some weird psychotic woman."
"You're not anyway?" Jeff asked, putting on a show of surprise. Lucy gave a gentle slap to his chest.
"Watch it," she said, undoing the rest of the shirt buttons. Jeff was forced to let go of her as she slipped his shirt off. He wrapped her in an embrace again and looked for the zip on her dress. She stopped him.
"Don't you think that we should draw the curtains first?" she asked. Although it was unlikely that someone would be able to see in, Jeff heeded his wife's suggestion. He turned to find that she had disappeared into the bathroom with the champagne. He smiled to himself and followed her.
Later, the champagne had disappeared and the couple were in bed, Lucy curled up in Jeff's arms. Jeff lazily stroked Lucy's hair. He could never tire of the feeling of her bare skin against his. She was still beautiful to him, still everything to him.
"I hope the next ten years are as good as the first ten years," he said to her. She grunted sleepily in response, but it sounded like an agreement. Satisfied, Jeff kissed her and turned off the light by the bed.