Disclaimer: Even after all this time, I still don't own them. Isn't that sad?

Chapter 12! Yay!

Warning: Rikku OoC. Lots of drama in this one.

Another warning: slight Yuna-bashing in the beginning (veeeery slight). I loved Yuna in FFX, but she just lost her flair in X-2 if you ask me.

Warning no. 3: Mega spoiler alert for the ending of X-2!

Setting: Right after the good ending of FFX-2. At the Besaid beach.

Note: starts real gloomy, but bear with me, okay? It's slightly longer for a reason.

Enjoy!

Fair and square

The orange sky and yellow clouds stare at me mockingly, reminding me vaguely of what the Farplane looks like, the place where he is now. I crush the sand beneath my feet between my toes. The happy sounds of the rushed welcome-home party for Tidus reach my ears - Vidina crying, the Aurochs laughing, village-people cheering - and the sadness that has been building in me for years suddenly changes itself into a mingled form of fury, jealousy and some more fury, and I burst out screaming at the horizon:

"It's not fair! I did everything Yunie did! I was by her side all the time! Who was the one who made sure she wouldn't fall apart when her love left? I was about to break myself, you know, but I swallowed my own feelings just to cheer her up!"

I glare at the sun, my face scrunched up in anger, and I continue my angry yelling with full force, fists clenched.

"Who was the one who gave Yunie an airship so she could go looking for the one she loves? I followed Yunie everywhere, and I get nothing! I beat that overgrown machina just as much as she did! I helped beating Sin just as much as Tidus did! Why do they get their happy ending?"

My screaming alerted everyone, and they're walking towards me in concern. I don't care, I'm too angry.

"I know it's selfish of me to think this way, but it's like Yunie gets everything she wants, and I get nothing, while I helped her go through every single sad part in her celebrity-life. I did everything for her without ever asking one thing in return! If I hadn't been there to comfort her, Yunie would still be sulking in her tent right now, and the world would have been history."

I bring my hand to my chest, my palm resting over my heart. It's beating thunderously, and I let all the pain I feel seep into my words.

"You know no one comforted me? No one! And I love him just as much as she loves Tidus! Probably even more! It's not fair! She gets the one she loves back, and I get nothing. Nothing! I lost everything to that stupid pilgrimage, and I get nothing back, I'm just a freakin' shoulder to cry on so Yunie can go back to being fabulous!"

I realise my anger towards Yunie isn't fair either, and I shift it to the person who caused me to feel this way in the first place.

"And you! You said I had to move on, that I had to find someone else to love. You know what? I can't! It's like asking me to betray you, to betray myself. I could never love someone like I love you! You knew better than anyone else how I think and feel, and you knew you hurt me when you said that! You knew! Why did you do this to me?", my fists clench, and I scream at the orange Besaid sky with all the strength I have.

"I'm angry! I'll never be able to love someone again! I'll never be able to have children without regretting they aren't yours."

Tears stream down my cheeks, and I let them, I'm in no mood to stop my crying. My voice breaks, and it changes to a bitter ironic mumble.

"But you will never return, will you? It's just my fate to be alone for the rest of my life, with only a memory to cling to. I know that's all I'll ever be able to do. This feeling of loneliness should have passed with you gone, but it has only become stronger. Without you here, I feel empty."

The empty feeling increases, and so does the anger, and my voice starts rising again. I know I have a rather large (and shocked) audience now, but I need to settle this, I need to get this off my chest. I have been carrying this weight for far too long, and I'm beginning to feel free, as if a knot is being untied in my heart.

"And for almost three years I haven't been able to cry for you once! You know why? Because you said I shouldn't cry for you!"

The setting sun is melting into the sea, but it just looks like a blurry red mess to my tearful eyes.

"You…you were always there for me, but now, when I need you the most, you're not here. And when you are the reason I need you in the first place! I'm angry at you for telling me to love someone else. I'm angry at you for leaving, even though I knew you had to go from the beginning. When you left, you only looked at me for a second, and I'm angry at you for that too."

I sob uncontrollably, and I let my head droop. I stare at my bare feet, and my hands unclench.

"I'm angry at myself 'cause I can't let you go.", I end in a defeated whisper, my voice hurting from screaming so much. I feel dizzy all of a sudden, and I fall down on my knees, breaking my fall with my hands. Tears run down my cheeks, and I feel relieved and miserable at the same time.

I cry until I have no more tears left, and then I cry some more, all of my anger flowing out of my system, leaving only a terrible loneliness in its wake.

A pair of arms wrap around me suddenly, and I look up in surprise to see Lulu kneeling next to me, softly stroking my hair. Paine kneels down at my other side and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder, and both of them look at me with gentle sympathy. My flow of tears just increases, yet Lulu's calm voice soothes me somewhat:

"It's all right, Rikku, cry it out. There's no need for you to hold it in. Just let it go. It's all right."

I lean into Lulu's arms and cry until finally my storm of tears ends. I look up at her with watery eyes, and my voice is awfully hoarse and hollow when I tell her I'm sorry.

"What for?", Paine asks, and Lulu looks at me questioningly.

"For blaming Yunie, for blaming him, when I really need to blame myself. I shouldn't have fallen in love with him.", I stare at my hands, and I notice little wounds from my nails in my palms bleeding slightly. I don't feel it.

"No one is to blame, Rikku, and least of all you."

Lulu looks at me with those piercing red eyes that know everything, and Paine stares at me with the same intensity.

"But I knew he was going to leave when we would beat Sin, I just shrugged it off as something to think about later," I feel a whimper coming up, and I let it out shakily, "until it was too late to think about."

"Sir Auron wouldn't have let you get away with blaming yourself, Rikku, and we will most certainly not."

At the mention of his name I panic, and I claw at Lulu's dress to keep from losing myself in a whirlpool of memories that is too painful - and too wonderful - to get myself out off.

"Rikku, I knew you had a crush on him, but I never knew you loved him this much. You could have told me, and I would've helped you."

I look up at her with pleading eyes, hoping she'll understand.

"I could tell no one, Lulu, I wanted it for myself, and I didn't want to share my feelings with anyone but him. Besides, Yunie was on a pilgrimage that would kill her, and I didn't want to trouble her. And back then I saw you as my idol, not as my friend, Lulu.", I look down at my wounded hands again. "And after a while I just couldn't say it anymore. I didn't want to worry anybody. And it… it hurt too much."

She nods, and Paine looks like she understands, too. I still feel like I need to continue, just to talk about him.

"He would always be so cold to everybody, everybody but me. We were together every time we could." I smile at the memory of him, and my eyes fill up again, though this time from happiness, the same happiness I felt when he was still here. Yet it makes me even sadder, 'cause he'll never be with me again.

I notice Lulu looking at me in surprise, and I realise she hadn't thought that Auron loved me back. Even though I was pretty obvious about that in my little break-down back there.

"You mean…he…you were…lovers? For how long?"

I think Lulu is more surprised by the fact she never found out about this then by the fact we were lovers, but still.

I swallow. He's been gone for almost three years, and we were only together for a few months. Funny how our time together seems like it's only a dream, while these last years without him were like an eternity.

I unwrap myself from Lulu, getting up slowly.

"I'm sorry, Lulu, I need to be alone for a minute."

"Of course. Will you be all right?" She's worried.

I nod, before pushing past the disaster-tourists (also known as Besaidians… and some of them are holding sphere-recorders… how nice…) with my head held high. I vaguely notice Yunie with tears in her eyes, and Tidus with a sympathetic expression on his face. And they're holding hands. I bite my lip. I'm getting worked up all over again. Me and him were never able to hold hands in public. And we'll never be able to.

I leave the beach, and the moment I'm out of earshot I start running. I run past the village, the trees, the waterfalls, until I reach the Celsius. The Airship is completely empty, meaning Buddy, Shinra and Brother were also at the beach to witness my little outburst.

Wonderful.

I walk towards the engine room automatically, taking off my sleeves and shawl on the way, throwing them behind me without really paying attention.

I kick off my shoes and grab the toolbox when I reach the engine room, the place where I've been coming for years when the constant grin on my face doesn't work anymore. I just have to fix some broken machina and then I'll be fine.

I crawl under the machina cruiser I've been working on and breathe in the smell of metal, feeling comforted immediately.

Well, sort of.

I stare at my hands working on automatic pilot, and my mind gets blank slowly, only thoughts of my warrior flooding my brain. A nostalgic smile takes over my expression as I remember all the wonderful times we spent together. Such wonderful times they were…

Hours pass, until the familiar sound of heavy footsteps wrenches me from my pleasant thoughts, and I huff angrily at being disturbed.

"Oh, go away, Brother, I don't have time for your crap about Yunie right now. She's your cousin, you creep. Forget about her and go pine after someone else."

"Harsh words. And you do not take your own advice."

I freeze.

That voice. It's his.

My heart stops in shock, and I squeeze the wrench in my hand to keep my breathing in check. Tears form in my eyes for the umpteenth time today, and I swallow the lump in my throat. I try to find my voice, and when I talk it's a broken sound.

"Go away. I don't think I can survive another dream about you."

There's a painful stab in my heart at my own (true) words, and at the sad sigh I hear from above me.

He sounds so real.

But I know better.

He always sounds real.

That's what makes it hurt all the more when I wake up.

I don't remember going to sleep, though. Maybe I've been in the sun too long today.

He speaks again, and his words are soft.

"Rikku. You are not dreaming. I came back here."

A painful smile forms on my lips, and I continue repairing the machina to keep from crying.

"That's what you always say, but that doesn't make it true."

"Rikku…"

Distracted by the extreme gentleness in his voice, my hand slips and I drop the screws I'm using, and they clatter on the metal floor of the engine room with a deafening clang. I flinch, before crawling out from under the machina to get new ones.

I freeze again when I see him standing there. He is just as I remember him, his sunglasses and cowl gone so I can see his face clearly. He's staring at me intensely, the expression in his beautiful bronze depth a mix of mournful sadness, gentle recognition, happiness and above all, love.

I put my hand over my heart, which is pounding furiously, and one of the tears in my eyes rolls down my cheek.

That looks an awful lot like he's real.

The awfully-real-looking-him takes a slow step towards me, and I take a step backwards in reflex. I note the sound the floor makes in contact with his heavy boots - sounds pretty real - and his shadow the artificial lights cast.

Looks pretty real.

His voice makes me focus my attention on him again. Voice sounds real, too.

"You look different. Older. As is to be expected. Your hair… You are even more beautiful than the day I met you, my little thief."

I flinch at the nickname, a squeaky sound coming from my throat, another tear sliding down my cheek.

He takes more steps towards me, and I step back each time, looking for more evidence. I can't believe it's him until there's no way around it. Until I'm sure he won't go poof.

I study his form walking towards me, trying to find the catch.

There's isn't one.

Everything's where it's supposed to be; the scar on his missing eye; the deep bronze colour of his beautiful remaining one; the wonderful nose; the firm yet soft lips; the prickly stubbles on his chin and jaw; the silver-streaked dark hair; the broad shoulders; the big callused hands. Everything.

I jump when my back touches the wall of the room, and I open my mouth to say something, anything, but I can't find any words.

When he reaches me he stops in front of me, his body only inches from mine, and the heat he radiates feels so real.

He reaches up with his hand and brushes the tears from my cheek gently, and I let out a strangled whimper at the sorely missed feel of his callused fingers touching my skin.

"Rikku…"

I close my eyes, trembling slightly, leaning into his touch automatically.

I can't believe this. It's a dream, I'm sure. This is impossi-…

"Open you eyes."

I do. Slowly. One eye at a time.

He smiles. I can see every detail of his beautifully sculpted face clearly.

"Au-…Auron?", I breathe, and my hand reaches up shakily, my trembling fingers softly poking his stubbly cheek experimentally. It's exactly the same as I remember it.

He leans down and kisses me, and the moment his lips land on mine I know.

He's back. He's real.

Now that I'm sure, my body suddenly remembers how to move, and I jump on him, wrapping my arms and legs around him hastily in a crushing embrace, returning the kiss almost savagely, tears of happiness streaming down my cheeks. His arms wrap around me, pressing me against him even tighter.

We break apart, resting our foreheads against each others', and I feel his eye travelling over my body, taking everything in. I can feel him smirk as he observes all the changes on me.

"My Shiva, Rikku, you already had a problem with clothes during the pilgrimage, but you've really taken that to new heights, haven't you?"

I giggle through my tears, the sound of his voice making me shiver all over, the happiness that crashes through me clearly mirrored in my lover's eye.

"Auron. Auron. I missed you so much.", I manage in a squeaky voice filled with emotion.

"I know."

I kiss him again, hard, holding on to him so tightly I'm surprised he can still breathe. I feel like I'm dreaming, but I know I'm not and that's just making it better. I pull back when that stupid thing called breathing makes me, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I hope you understand I'm not letting go of you. I'm not letting go of you ever again.", I pant before burying my face in his chest.

"You don't have to.", he replies, running his fingers through my hair soothingly and resting his chin on the top of my head.

We stay like that, until I look up suddenly when the question 'how?' pops in my head. I voice it quietly, and he answers with a proud nod.

"You made a quite a scene. They revived me after what you said."

"Soo… the fayth got a guilt trip and send you back here?"

"I think so, actually… They showed me you. On the beach. They told me they wanted to reward you as they did Yuna.", he pauses, "They looked quite ashamed of themselves."

I grin, glad I didn't bare my soul to the rest of the world for nothing. I grin, because Auron is back with me, so it's hard not to.

The mood changes considerably when I shift in his grasp, which brings his attention back to my new outfit. I can't help but guess he likes my new clothes – or lack thereof – because his expression turned to lust in a matter of moments. I'm not doing any better, the familiar heat between my legs awakened the moment he looked at me like that. I swallow, knowing the words on my lips are going to start exactly what I want.

"I… I want you inside me. Please.", I utter softly, and he growls at the tone of my voice.

He stares into my eyes as I take off his coat and shirt slowly to reveal his scarred chest, which I run my hands over hungrily before reaching them behind me to undo my bikini top.

"It's… it's been a while. Go slow.", I whisper breathily. He nods before he leans in to kiss me, his tongue parting my lips and meeting mine as I grind my hips against him. I sigh in his mouth in delight when I feel him hardening against me, my legs tightening around his waist as he lets go of me, his body steadying me against the wall so he can undo his pants and flip my skirt up.

I interrupt the kiss to look in his dark bronze depth, my eyes shining excitedly as I hear the sound of ripping fabric (machina, I missed him ripping my underwear). I press my nails in his shoulders when he pushes inside me gently, a loud moan I can't hold in wrenched from my throat. I bite my lip to keep from screaming as he moves in and out of me slowly yet forcefully, his hands gripping my hips as he groans my name against my neck.

"Scream.", Auron grunts in my ear, a powerful thrust accompanying his order, and I let go of my restraint, the pleasure building inside me quickly becoming too much to hold in anyway. My back arches and I throw my head back as Auron picks up the pace while groaning my name, my nails pressing little wounds in his shoulders as the heat between my legs increases quickly. I keep shouting out his name until the pleasure suddenly bursts, every fibre of my being exploding as Auron comes inside me moments after me.

I fall limply in his arms after the pleasure passes, though my legs around his waist stay firmly in place to keep him inside me. A bright smile lights up my sweaty face.

There can't be a better feeling than this.

Auron turns us around and sits down against the wall, steadying me in his lap, his hands running up and down my legs as I lean my head against his shoulder. I listen to his heartbeat, calm and steady, despite our actions mere moments ago – I'm still breathing heavily – and the sound of his heart thumping in my ear is something I can add to the list of 'most beautiful sounds in this world'.

I realise something suddenly, a slight blush creeping on my cheeks.

"So… you heard my little speech, huh?", I ask, biting my lip and looking up at him from under my eyebrows.

"Yes...", he answers, a guilty expression taking over his face, "You shouldn't have had to go through so much, Rikku. I'm sorry."

I smile reassuringly.

"If I can be with you forever, those years without you won't matter, Auron.", I pause thoughtfully, grinning, "But you still have to make it up to me."

He smiles, and I try to ignore the fluttering of my heart and the fact my knees just turned to mush. Unsuccessfully.

"How?"

"Let's see… You have to live with me, and in a few years you have to marry me, and a couple of years after that you have to help me make babies. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, my little thief."

"Great! That's settled, then."

Hope you liked it!

Yay! Auron is back, baby! (cheers)

This could be seen as an ending… wait, no it can't! I'll continue for sure. But I have to cut back a little on the updates, because school starts again next week. I apologise in advance.

Anyways…

Thank you, reviewers!

AmazonTurk: There ya go!

Drachegirl14: He's back! YAY!

Losttoxichope: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Ilovefluff: Yeah... Gippy's all right. But I just love Auron more…

Viva La Kitty: I hope this cheered you up! Well, the ending, anyway.

FaythlessAngel: now you don't have to miss him anymore:P

i like vader lots: Yeah, I wanted that too.

Foxygirlchan: totally cool. Your art, I mean. Seriously. Keep it up! And thanks for the review, too. xD

Please tell me what you think! Click the pretty 'Go!' button.