The chill in the compound permeated into her bones. Eventually, she couldn't tell whether it was her own magic or just the harsh stones. She thought it comforting at first, but soon realized a more sinister change coming at her with unforgiving claws. Something scalding hot dripped from behind her collarbone, steady and unrelenting. It melted the ice over her heart with each step that she took and soon she found her pace picking up. It was as if she wanted that cold organ to come back to life. As if it could.

But it was empty, and she knew that.

The hollowness in her heart pounded like a drum beat that ached inside her bones. Nothing was going to hold it back anymore. The locked door in her mind broke open. No, God no. Being alone only plunged her into a miasma of wandering hands and sinister smiles.

Don't you dare cry now, River.

It weighed down heavier with no distractions and her body suddenly came to understand its trauma fully. Knees turned to jelly, but she found herself taking off into a sprint down the corridor, blind to the few people she passed. Don't stop or you'll break. As long as she was moving, the dead man's hands would not reach her.

Five years was a long time to live on the receiving end of merciless power. She'd learned quickly to find comfort in her position and built stone walls around each wound torn into her soul. The pain was finally breaking through, collapsing her careful masonry and racing up her throat.

She let out a wretched sound like a wounded animal and collapsed to the ground, hardly noticing the material at her knees ripping and turning bright scarlet. The wall held her weight and she curled against it, clutching the ground with her fingers as if she would fall into Hades if she wasn't hanging on.

The years crashed down on her in inexorable waves, snapping her bones and bruising her skin all over again. Freedom was a cursed joke. This is all she would ever know.

Of course, she was found. How long she'd been there freezing and shattering by then, she wasn't entirely sure. It was time to laugh again, though, because she was found out and somehow that was hilarious to her. No true rest for the wicked; that damned bond couldn't keep its mouth shut.

He didn't say anything. She only knew he was there by the clap of his boots and the scrape of clothes as he slid down the wall to sit beside her. What was there to say anyways? He had already proven his kindness was only an act led by guilt.

"Is that what you think," he asked with a trace of amusement.

When had she opened her mouth and begun blubbering her thoughts like a fool?

"I don't waste my time on acts. Everything I do is deliberate. There's no point in pretending. That shit is for people with no purpose. No morals. It's only fucking animals that play with people."

She couldn't make her lungs work and the waves still crushed her. He grew quiet, allowing her this torment. She couldn't take it anymore.

"Command it away, Levi. Please," she sounded like a child.

"No."

River thought for a second it was only the wind that touched her shoulder, but she knew it was his answer. Another wall falling to pieces, the memories twisting and galloping in her chest, slithering harshly up. The pressure they pushed through actively pulled away that stained color so when they spilled from her eyes, no images remained. Only salt.

She shoved herself up with frail arms so that she rocked back on her haunches to face him.

"Why not," she nearly screamed.

He wasn't looking at her, rather finding interest in the tea cup he'd brought with him.

"I won't command you again. Plus, you can't bury that kind of pain without it hurting you more later," he smoothly stated, unaffected by her misery.

Her mouth hung slack as the storm inside halted for one solid moment. Warmth spilled over those ethereal wounds in a strangely calmer tide. This one flowed in time with his words sinking in.

"What do you mean... you won't command me?"

Her lips quivered around the question.

Levi turned then to finally look at the tear streaked girl. For the first time, he saw something shining from the blue depths in her eyes and fought down the smile coming to his lips. There was a single thread of hope swaying inside like a forgotten flag on a windless day.

"I mean exactly what I said. You will always have a choice with me."

Heart stuttering, her mind battled against his words. They snapped something open, and she couldn't let that thread hold sway. She feared it. Hated it.

"What about when you ordered me to snap my wrist, did I have a choice then," she bit out with acid on her tongue.

He frowned, opening his mouth to respond.

"Don't fuck with me, Levi," getting worked up again, the bond still dripping its warmth but turning sour on her hollowed, rotten heart. "You keep preaching this bullshit about choices and freedom as if you're not going to turn out like him or even my goddamn mother! Do you even comprehend how cruel you are? I keep trying to believe in you, trying like hell to truly trust that this righteous act of yours is real…"

Spilling over, oh god no, it won't stop, she can't stop it now. Tears and rage and so much agony she was blinded by it. Like a waterfall crashing down on him, she wasn't going to stop, "but no human being can resist power's seductive pull when things get difficult with someone… When a child won't listen to her mother, isn't it so goddamn easy just to command her fight away? Isn't it so much simpler to force her to comply with her bed time or chores than it is to let her throw a tantrum like all the other kids?"

He wasn't saying a word and she was on the verge of hysteria, her lungs collapsing under the weight of the nothingness in her chest. The black hole was going to devour her from the inside out. Her voice quivered, barely above a scratching whimper crawling from her throat.

"Or when you want her teenaged body but she would rather let you die than allow your hands to touch her skin. Isn't it grand that you can snatch away her choice with a few words? Isn't it so easy to turn your own guilt away if you command her body to enjoy you defiling it? If she moans and quakes and begs for more, you don't have to think about the fact that you stole away her innocence. You don't have to think about how you've stained her in a way that no amount of bleach could possibly blot out. You… you're not a monster if no one else condemns you right?"

Suffocating, her throat constricting, she couldn't look up at him anymore. She was going to be sick again.

"You can tell me you saved my life today, but you took the easy way out too. You said, 'do it' and I had no choice. You couldn't even give me the dignity of ordering I do it calmly. You wanted the theatrics. I understand that it probably saved my life. I was damned from the start. You couldn't make them not fear me, so you needed to use their fear to show your power over me. I get it. I do. But that doesn't make it noble. You are a monster too and don't you fucking dare try to tell me otherwise. Don't you dare."

Shoulders quaking, she finally raised her eyes. His were calculating. Empty. No guilt to be seen, nor a single care for the shattering thing in front of him. The storm was still, circling steady and waiting for her to continue. So patient. Fine, she'd give him more.

"I think I hate you the most. The kind of torture you inflict on me is worse than anything I've ever faced. You spin dreams for me and you build up this promise that you are kind, you're different, you're not going to use the chain you hold against me. But at the end of the day, you still yank on it and steal away the very freedom you keep spinning lies about. Today was when you could have proven to me that everything you said was true. And you didn't. You're a goddamn liar, Levi."

Heavy breathing, but finally the flood found its end. Silence wrapped its arms around them like a mediating friend trying to stop this madness. Levi stirred no response, only watched her through bored, half lidded eyes. Like always. She hated him. She hated him. She hated him.

Yet the smallest voice in the back of her mind began to laugh. You're a liar too if you truly think that.

Levi leaned back against the stone, taking a long swig of his drink. Once he was certain that she was truly done speaking, his cold voice filled the empty hall and resonated deep within the black hole their bond was still desperately trying to fill.

"Your choice was made in the canteen when you chose to be open about your abilities for the good of mankind. You entrusted your life into my hands when you made that choice. And I warned you more than once that the way I could ensure your safety would not end well and even went so far as to flat out tell you that you would likely hate it. I did what I had to in order to protect you and if you despise me for that, fine, I can accept that. But don't you dare act as if I took your fucking freedom away from you. My actions came solely out of my role to play once you made your fucking choice."

River's mind stalled. The emotions halted. The memories, the quaking, even her ethereal wounds stopped bleeding. She came still. His rebuttal could not be denied for its truth. She looked away, ashamed.

"I…," how does one even begin to respond to that? Breathe. Keep it simple. "I'm sorry. I never thought… about it that way."

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the stone. "It's alright. I can't imagine how frightening it is to be in your position. I don't think I would ever be able to put this band on anyone if I were like you… not even if my life depended on it."

"My mother told me it was noble of me to be willing to lend my power to another," River explained, the words tasting bitter in her mouth. She heaved a heavy sigh and admitted, "I want to trust in you, Levi. I honestly do."

"I know. I also know that it's almost impossible given the circumstance. Don't think I don't understand that."

He looked back at her then, slitting open his eyes so only a thread of his steel could be seen.

"We need to deal with this, though, before the next expedition. That doesn't give us a whole lot of time," he muttered a heart beat later, indicating his meaning by reaching out to brush away a tear.

"Yeah…"

She started to agree, but stopped dead when she saw his outstretched limb. The sight of his arm drew out a loud gasp followed closely by her exclaiming, "oh my god!"

His pale skin glittered all the way up to the cuff of his shirt at the elbow. The ice built off his bracelet was so thick, it sliced into his skin and dripped scarlet to the ground. Yet he barely showed any sign of discomfort. In fact, the crazy man actually laughed at her reaction.

"Can't even leave you alone for five minutes without finding an entirely new meaning to the term 'frost bite', you little shit," he mused, gracing her with his seemingly less rare smile.

"You are a very weird, little man, sir… Every time I think that I have you figured out, you flip the coin and do something brand new. I was unaware you even knew how to smile," she bantered back, the bond spilling its warmth into her more freely and bringing a peaceful aura she was glad to settle into.

"Apparently I've got some brat's soul intertwined with mine… nothing can possibly make sense ever again," he quipped as he stood up, turning his back to her, but reaching out to offer her his hand. "Look, I'll try to be patient with you and help you with those ghosts from your past. I only ask that you promise me you won't let those experiences try to tell you what to expect from me. I do not want a slave at my side, and frankly, I'm tired of fucking saying that."

River accepted the offered hand, fully believing for the first time that he meant it. Abilities be damned, she would be useless against titans if she couldn't work with the man she'd entrusted that magic to in the first place. He is not perverted by power as so many others are. Just breathe.