Tell her that Pinkerton is never coming back
Ask her to teach you how to fly
When she says she can't fly, start to throw a fit
Wait for Pinkerton with her and start to sing, "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer…" at the top of your lungs
Then tell her that Suzuki left for good because she couldn't stand the wait any longer
Address her as Madama Butterfly, and when she tells you to call her Madama Pinkerton, continue to call her Madama Butterfly
Then point out to her that the title of the opera is Madama Butterfly, not Madama Pinkerton
Tell her that she's too freaking young to get married
Steal her father's knife
Tell her that Pinkerton went gay for Sharpless
And they're getting married
Tomorrow
And that Pinkerton wants her to be in America by tomorrow to be the best man
Hum the tune of Un bel di, vedremo so often that even she gets sick of it
Sneak up on her, jump on her back, and say, "Ha! I broke your fragile wings."
Then say, "Oh wait, never mind, Pinkerton beat me to it."
Dress up as Calàf from Turandot and show up on her doorstep singing Nessun Dorma
When she looks at you confused, say, "Oh, whoops. Wrong opera."
Or better yet, dress up as Pinkerton and run up the hill toward her house yelling, "Butterfly!" and when she runs to meet you thinking you're Pinkerton, rip off the Pinkerton outfit to reveal that it's you
Record her reaction/flipping out at you